GOOD...BAD...WORSE...
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Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse:
Your daughter "borrowed" it.
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Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's
room. Worse: You're in it.
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Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.
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Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser. Worse:
He looks better than you.
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Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse:
As a sacrifice.
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Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse:
She's a lawyer.
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Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse:
For another woman.
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Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse:
To enter a convent.
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Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.
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Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad:
You're arrested. Worse: By your husband.
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Good: The postman's early. Bad:
He's wearing camas and has an AK-47.
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Good: The secretary said "yes." Bad:
Your wife says "no."
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Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad:
Sexually. Worse: He's gay.
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Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad:
So did the postman.
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Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad:
Your wife walks in.
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Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
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Good: You get tickets to the theatre. Bad:
It's performance art.
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Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad:
Your daughter's the headliner.
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Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. Bad:
So he'll fit in your clothes.
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Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of
gas." Bad: For real.
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Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".
Bad: Your son, that is.
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Good: Your daughter's on the Pill. Bad:
She's eleven.
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Good: Your neighbour exercises in the nude.
Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.
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Good: Your son's doing extra credit work.
Bad: Making a sex ed video.
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Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
Bad: It's counterfeit.
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Good: Your wife bought a porn video. Bad:
Your daughter's the star.
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Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad:
You live downtown.
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Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.
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Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad:
With the neighbours. Worse: All of them.
