WAP: Classified Information
Prep Discombobulator Beta Class I
Stop Humping The Bomb! Oh Great, Why Don't You And The Secret Weapon Get A Room?
John And The Mighty 9/16 Wrench Take On An Entire Platoon Of Preps
This Is The Last Thing Kennedy Saw...
This Chair Is Powered By The Devin Guard's Own Internal Gas Supply...
The war is underway! This page will be updated frequently to keep YOU informed on all the latest transactions. We are always looking for more people to join the army so if you're interested send me an e-mail at: Mathcrazy@worldnet.att.net. When news breaks, we fix it!
05.11.99 Central Time
While waiting for Zach to send me his "Walk the dog" thing, I began wondering...Why do I hate preps so much? I made a list of reasons...but I only have 5 megs of space left on the server so I can't post it! For those of you computer stupid people, 5 megs is a lot for any document. Oh and just one more thing...CHIP AND MIKIKO!
05.01.99 Central Time
You know, a really smart old guy used to say "Beauty is only skin deep." Most people still use that quote today, in fact. The problem is, that guy was old and smart...since people in school are not old and 99% of them are not smart we've got ourselves a problem eh? There you have it, my formal proof on today's society. Ok, that may not have made sense...but it makes more sense than walking the dog!
04.15.99 Central Time
The preps still outnumber us but we fight on! Devin's Sasquatch Brigade has already vowed to kill all the Mexican Soccer players! What that has to do with preps, I don't know, but it still makes more sense than anything Zach writes!
02.17.99 Central Time
Those preps just keep suprising us! One minute they're almost wiped out...and now they're back in greater numbers! Rumor has it that they multiply faster than furry bunny rabbits...of course, by putting 2 and 2 together you not only get 4, but find out that in order for them to multiply so fast...well...Anyway, since most people over 20 at our school favor the prep cause, it's becoming harder and harder to neutralize them. Apparently, the prep influence not only manipulates school officials...but government officials as well! Now the truth has been revealed about recently acquitted president Bill Clinton! He's a puppet, not just any puppet, but a prep puppet! Plans to storm the White House are still sketchy, but we've got some INSIDE help...sneaking around right under Clinton's nose! (Or desk, as the case may be!)
02.14.99 Central Time
There's just not much news going on anymore...most of the preps have been defeated and those who haven't are fleeing in terror, we even tried sending Grant's Blood Angels after them but the preps ran away even faster! Oh well. And now a word from our sponsor:
"ALTERNATE"
This word sponsored by Chip.
02.12.99 Central Time
Another victory for the 2nd Division Gifted WAP Regiment! The regiment was last seen on the bus coming home from the gifted field trip yelling "ABERCROMBIE!" and "FITCH!" Yelling these words drove the preps insane and eliminated what little independent thoughts they still had! Project Deathchicken™ is still under heavy development...not much else is known. Also, a new breed of preps has been discovered! The "half-prep" is commonly defined as one who wears the garments bearing the names Abercrombie and Fitch, but has a mind like a normal person. They have been deemed pretty harmless...and have been rumored to be the 160th pokÉmon!
01.26.99 Central Time
Sorry about the lack of updates for awhile. Since the preps have almost been defeated, I've been working on my bid to end Volleyball in gym class and briefing my secret police on their mission to stop...someone...from becoming 1st chair. Hehehe...just get ready for a stunning upset in the seating tests next time...
01.18.99 Central Time
While the fearles-er...fearful Blood Angels try to capture Canada again, the Pikachus and the Tiny Turtles are still trying to figure their way out of the garage. That's ok though, because the Dubtaks are crossing the ocean to take over India! Our plan is to use our "Inflatable Hirsch" to lure the...'Native Americans' to the shore and then we'll attack them with our Magikarps! Hahahaha! Vengeance is mine!
01.14.99 Central Time
It's Battletime™! We're going to take over Austrailia! All the old regiments are back and ready for action! Posh Peter's Pikachus! Tiny Tobin's Tiny Turtles! Ginger Grant's Blood Angels! And also introducing a new regiment: Little Dubtak's Dubtak Patties! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!! Oh yeah, and happy birthday to Jamie too!
01.04.99 Central Time
Zach H. sends us a new battle report:
Go up to the biggest prep in the room and call him a nazi named bob. then call his mom a ho that sucks at bowling. then assasinate his grandparents, burn down his aunts car and throw rocks at his dad's grave. then sing hanson. zach h
01.01.99 Central Time
Happy New Year! Well, since our long absense from providing you with WAP news and events due to local school administration, the preps have returned and are more numerous than ever! Looks like we'll have to start from scratch. Also, a new breed of prep has been identified...the wannabe prep. These preps are even worse than real preps because they really "wannabe" preps. When dealing with this particular species, it is best to imagine the song "wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Then pretend the prep is Ginger Spice...the problem will take care of itself soon after.
12.30.98 Central Time
It has just occured to me that some induhviduals appear to think that the 'preps' I keep referring to are members of a certain social class of people. This of course, is preposterous. The 'preps' I keep referring to are just an abbreviation of the word prepositions. Therefore, in its entirety, WAP stands for War Against Prepositions. I hope we can all put this behind us now.
11.20.98 Central Time
Just a couple battle reports from the past few days:
IMPORTANT INFORMATION:
If you ever encounter a prep who is wearing abercrombie, tell him that elvis is dead. what the hell that has to do with preps, i have no idea -zach (hold this for a second)
Skeeter Mulder, President MULDER INC. (We own you)
Ahem. It has been confirmed that preps are Aol Junkies. We have decided that a simple E-mail with a red background and a click here for the ABERCROMBIE MAIL FREE A-F STUFF CLUB that brings them to the exact same page will have confused preps clicking for hours even though they return to the same spot. Diabolical, isnt it.
Tonight, in WAP news, a prep was really confused over the AOL Instant Message service. In case he finds this site, his name will not be given out. I spoke with him and he didn't have any idea what to do. He resorted to puntings that didn't work and fake viruses. This brings up a new tactic to get preps. Confuse them over Instant Messages and tell them you are someone else. This concluded tonights WAP news. Big Bob
11.19.98 Central Time
We've succesfully taken out all the preps in North America and South America. Already, several containment teams are preparing to go overseas to subdue Japan. Details remain sketchy at the moment, but the battle plan will be a remake of the Trojan Horse trick pulled off by the Greeks. Except this time, we'll use a giant Pikachu.
11.18.98 Central Time
We have subdued the preps in Mexico and Canada! While Posh Peter's Pikachus and Tiny Tobin's Tiny Turtles captured Mexico City and destroyed all prep bases, Grant's Blood Angels heroically ran from battle in Mexico but ended up in Canada and killed all the preps there. Next stop: Central America!
11.17.98 Central Time
Success! The preps have been discombobulated and are fleeing into the last remaining Abercrombie stores. There are so little preps now, that there are more people who read books all day in class! The threat here has been removed, but preps still are abundant on a worldwide basis. Starting tomorrow, The WAP Army will be sending troops around the globe for a worldwide campaign! Prepare for trouble preps! In fact, make it double..."To protect the world from devastation. To unite all peoples within our nation. To denounce the evils of truth and love. To extend our reach to the stars above. Jesse! James! Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now or prepare to fight! Meowth! That's right!"
11.14.98 Central Time
*Yawn* I know you've just been dying to see another update but I've been busy with a certain art project due on monday. Yes, THAT project. Anyway, French Guy Grant has sent us a tactic concerning Abercrombie, Cargo Pants, Game Boy, and whipping pants on and off:
IF you explain to a prep throughly that cargo pants (if they are wearing them), do not look good because of the pockets , because the pokets are there for a reason! * The Pokets can conviniently hold you Game-Boy! Or you connector cablr or a pencil or a note or paper! * Anyway if you explain this to thwem there simple brain will induce the sensation that CARGO PANTS ARE NOT COOL! MUST FIND ABERCOMBIE JEANS!, and they'll run around whipping their pants on and off looking for a "cooler" pair of pants to wear. Singed, THE DAMN FRENCHIE! Grant.
11.11.98 Central Time
New tactic issued by Captain Richard:
The tactic is called "The Splitter". The procedure is: find 2 preps going out. Find who their best friends are. Spread a rumor that the girls best friend likes her boyfriend, and vice versa. This will split the preps into many groups, vulnerable to a discombobulator shot or containment team.
11.10.98 Central Time
Warning: It has just been confirmed that exposing preps to childish movies can cause severe damage. Since preps are SO easily amused, the simplest joke will cause them to laugh and jump around so much that every non-living object in the room will eventually be destroyed. Be sure to NEVER watch a childish movie with a prep. This stimulus is even more dangerous with preps in large groups. If 10 preps were to watch 'Fern Gully' The United States would crumble within seconds and the rest of the world with it. The only good that can come of this is that you have an excuse to sing "It's The End Of The World" by REM. Also avoid sudden movements around a herd of preps as they will become frightened and may cause a stampede. Just be careful and you shall survive the great perilous preps...
11.09.98 Central Time
We apologize for the lack of updates recently. I was not able to update for the past 2 days because everybody was needed to protect the local rainforest from being destroyed by preps who were going to make an All-Abercrombie Mini-Mall. Captain Big Bob reports:
A new weapon for you.