If you find yourself saying "What?! This page got an award but mine didn't?! I must be an inferior idiot!" Don't worry, this page wouldn't win an award if Chip's life depended on it. Maybe that isn't such a good example...anyway, this page gives out awards, as it would be impossible for this page to recieve any.
Best MIDI File:
Wipe.mid (Oh The Horror!)
Best Original Songs:
Ode To Processed Meats
Everybody Hirsch Now
Best Internet Greetings:
"hi there"
"hi ho cheerio"
"hiÉÉÉ!"
"heya howa cheeriowa"
Best Guy To Send When You Want To Rent A Movie:
Jeff "I'm Da Man Behind Everything"
And A Special Thanks From Jeff To Demi
Best Guy Who's Been In Arkansas...And Lived:
Neal Number 2
Most Overrated Moderate Genius:
Charles "Chip"
Best Vitamin Absorber:
"Big" Seth
Best Neal Wannabe:
"Evil" Neil Number 1
Best Mad Film Maker:
Kurosawa(If I Made Films They'd Have A Samurai Too)
Best Retard Impression:
Zach H.
Best Guy At Getting Someone To Hold His Soda And Running Away:
Zach "Hold This For A Second" H.
4 Funniest Words In The World:
Weasel
Chainsaw
Asparagus
Any Reference To Gilligan's Island
Best Squirrel:
Eli "Squirrel Boy"
Best Sports Heroes Of The 90's:
Dennis Rodman
That Dude Who Spit At The Umpire
O.J. Simpson
Marv Albert
Best Shampoo:
Herbal Essences
Best Superhero:
Herbal Man
Best Pokemon Trainer:
Grant "Magikarp Magikarp Magikarp"
Most Frequent 1-Hour News Special Topics:
Teenagers
Bill Clinton
Best Trash Talker:
Mike "Insano"
Most Likely To Become President And Seek Hideous Revenge On This Site's Webmasters:
Jamie "The Poz"
Fastest Speed:
Ludicrous Speed
Worst Flavor Of ANYTHING:
Strawberry Champagne (Yuck!)
Best Ice Cream Flavor:
"Da Bomb" (It really exists)
Most...Original Song:
Kitty Cat Go Splat
Best Adjetive Used By The Poz:
"poopy"
Best Blood Claw:
The Vengeful Blood Claw (Vengeance is his!)
Best Corrine Look-Alike According To Skeeter:
Strawberry-Champagne Girl
Best Computer Game Ever:
Ultimate Arena Of Death 3
Best 1-800 Number:
1-800-I-BATMAN
Longest Word In The Dictionary:
Pneumoultramicroscopicvolcanociosis (Black Lung Disease)
The Coolest Room:
The Doom Room
The Most Retarded Room:
The Rebal Room
Best Cabin Ever:
Cabin 10 (I don't know but it's been said...)
Best Person To Get Pushed Off A Cliff By The Poz:
Chip "The Dip"
Best Motorcycle:
Grant "I'm A Motorcycle!"
Best Monkey
The Mating Monkey
Best Weapon Used Against A Monkey:
The Cerebral Bore
Best Shoeshiners:
The Traveling Shoeshiners Of Mexico City
Easiest Sunglasses To Steal:
Katherine's Sunglasses
Best Rhyme:
British Blunder Rhymes With Thunder
Best Language:
Spanglish
Longest Time Online:
JAD - 12 Days, 3 Hours, 7 Minutes
First To Travel Back In Time Online:
JAD - 3 Minutes
Best Dance:
The Richard
Most Well-Organized Liberation Conspiracy:
FOIL
Best Original Sport:
Chair Rodeo
Best Submarine:
The Yellow Submarine
Best Show:
The Tom Green Show
Best Moose:
Maximum Moose™
Best Competition:
Chickenfest
Best Sandy:
Ultimate Sandy
Most Useless Things In The Entire Universe:
Health Class
Beanie Babies
After-School Specials
News Specials On What Idiots Think Teenagers Are Like
Magikarps
People Who Praise Mediocre Efforts (Preps)
Idiots (90% Of The World Population)
Soap Operas (Prep Shows)
Daytime Television (Soap Operas)
Orcs And Goblins
The Chili That Comes With The Nachos
Grant's Blood Angels
Student Of The Month Awards
Generic Stormtroopers
The Pity Awards:
The Spice Girls
Hanson
The Olsen Twins
Bill Clinton
John Tesh
Team Rocket