JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team
players needed, for challenging
permanent
work in an often- chaotic environment. Candidates must possess
excellent communication and organisational skills
and be willing to work
variable
hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts
on call. Some overnight travel
required, including trips to primitive
camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far
away
cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also
required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your
life.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &
PROMOTION:
Virtually none.
Your job is
to
remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can
ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required
unfortunately.
On-the-job training
offered on a continually exhausting
basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You
pay them! Offering frequent
raises
and bonuses. A balloon payment is due
when they turn 18 because of
the
assumption that University will help
them become financially
independent.
When you die, you give them whatever
is left. The oddest thing about
this
reverse-salary scheme is that you
actually enjoy it and wish you
could
only
do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental
insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no
stock options are offered;
this
job
supplies limitless opportunities for
personal growth and free hugs
for
life