Here's where you can help fight the war without getting off your arse. Simply scan through the profiles of our lucky contestants and, using the handy buttons, vote for which war criminal should be marched through No-Man's Land. At the end of each week, the votes of the War Trial will be counted and the War Criminal buried in an unmarked grave in the Casualties of War department. The remaining contestants live to fight another day.
When only three contestants remain you will then vote for a winner. The last man standing will be declared War Hero 2003, receiving not only world dictatorship but a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to re-write the history books. Who goes? You decide...
GERI HALLIWELL
UN Goodwill ambasador, former Spice Girl and talented solo singer, Geri's efforts to entertain the troops will no doubt provide her with ample material for the third installment of her autobiography. So far Geri has concentrated mainly on talking about herself, although she did note approvingly that Osama could have been a Spice Girl: "The way he controlled those planes on November the seventh - that was Girl Power. I think he could have joined the band, maybe as Sanskrit Spice or something like that."
PETER MANDELSON
Having practically invented New Labour, shaved his moustache and resigned from government over alleged dodgy dealing, Peter turned his attentions to Northern Ireland where he helped set up devolved government. Everything was going well, until more dodgy dealing forced Peter's second resignation. Has he learnt his lesson or will another scandal force his resignation from the panel of judges? Some experts predict Peter may find himself in the Casaulties of War department before any of the contestants...
GOD
He was The Big Man until The Beatles came along. Since the carefree days of the sixties, God has become something of a cult figure, possibly because most people find his famed 'mysterious ways' a little too mysterious. Despite this, his popularity always grows during times of war and, as all the contestants claim he is on their side, his judgement - which he delivers on slabs of rock - should be of great interest. So far God has passed little comment on any of the contestants, apart from noting that he finds Tony Blair "a bit irritating."