Stupid Stories

periwinkleburnedfinger

ddwbi: you burned your finger
ddwbi: ha ha
ddwbi: i will call you periwinkleburnedfinger now

mag n pooh: hahah
mag n pooh: its okie... i will try not to laugh

Even though it's embarrassing as hell I seem to love telling this story over and over again.... and it's not even that long. But anyway, I shall begin. :) This happened way back in my senior year of high school, I think April of 2002. I don't know if anybody remembers, but there used to be a Star II in Chinatown that served food. They had this black pepper steak that was really good but I hardly ordered it because I don't like steak that much. As everybody should know, it comes on a hot plate on a wooden thing, and you're supposed to touch the wooden thing, NOT the hot plate. They warn you not to touch the hot plate because it's hot. They warn you when they put the plate on your table. But, being the idiot that I am, I touch the hot plate. But, also being stupider than most, I didn't react like normal people do and take my finger off in a millisecond. Instead, I held my finger onto the hot plate for a good half a second as I pushed it across the table. THEN I realized that it was hot and took my finger off. But it was already too late, a big bubble of skin was already developing.... and thus I became known as periwinkleburnedfinger.

Broken Contact

Luci the Devil: what did you do, slam your eye against a wall really really really really really hard?

maggie da da daa: u wash it for toooo long
maggie da da daa: n melt it away

How To Properly Use A Pepper Spray

Fortunately, this story doesn't involve only my stupidity. It involves Jasmine's too! hehe. This happened around the end of our freshman year, I remember specifically because we had just had a wing meeting about moving out of the dorms. Jasmine was going to be living at Riverside over the summer [ironic isn't it, that I'm going to be living there now? Where's my pepper spray?!], so her godbrother got her some pepper spray to protect herself, just in case. Neither of us were sure how exactly to use it, so we decided to try it out. See, I had assumed that you just sprayed it into the eyes of your attacker and it blinds them. It never occurred to me that it does much more than that! We decided to try it by spraying it into our sink. Smart, huh? So Jasmine sprayed, and we clearly saw that it worked fine, except now there was this gross color in our sink. So she turned on the water to drain it out, and at that exact same moment we both breathed in the pepper spray and started coughing like mad. We seriously could not stop coughing, and we didn't know what to do, so we ran out into the hallway. Even smarter! The pepper spray then spread into the hallway, so anybody who walked into our hall would start coughing as well! At that point I was half-coughing and half-laughing because it was so stupidly funny. It was also ironic, because we had been such good residents all year, and now at the end of the year we pulled something like this. hehe. Later we learned that the correct thing to have done was to spray it into a bush. Outside.

Why Grace Can't Cook

I use this as an excuse as to why I can't cook. It happened not long after we moved into our new apartment at College Park. Mereena had cooked for us twice already, so I think I wanted to "cook" for them by making sandwiches! Yeah! :Þ So guess what happened. I cut myself. BUT.... It wasn't even real cooking. And it wasn't even with a real knife. It was a freaking BUTTER KNIFE. I cut myself with a butter knife. Isn't that great? It's plausible, though, because I was actually kinda sawing at the bread to cut it, and whoops, sawed too much and got my hand. It wasn't too deep of a cut. I'm not that stupid. Oh no wait, seeing as how I have a whole page of stupid stories about myself.... maybe I am. :Þ

Scissors Are Not As Safe As You Think

This one's really ironic because it was the same day that I made my first hard-boiled eggs and used a mincer/chopper thing [basically, an appliance with blades]. The whole time I was "cooking" I worried that I would somehow stupidly hurt myself like I always do, and there was no one around to rush me to the emergency room or anything. But the "cooking" turned out fine, I managed to not cut myself on a blade.... until later that afternoon. I was also doing craftsy stuff that day, and got my scissors dirty, and decided to CLEAN my scissors.... and you can probably figure out the rest. Well, maybe not, because normal people don't do this kind of thing. I basically rubbed my fingers across the blade, to clean off the glue and residue, and either I rubbed too hard, or against the blade, and so I cut my finger, and it started bleeding profusely. Grace's stupid act #5!