"and SMILING. god the smiling. the smiling results from the stalking. semi-stalking. you know. in class. which has now turned into sort of a joke, cuz he doesn't remember who i am, so i'm telling him i saw him today, and the tables have turned cuz now i'm freaking HIM out......"

"i would like to say one thing though. sophomore year social life SUCKS so far."
"what, did i suddenly become hot over the summer or something? god. what the hell."
:) Hmm. I forgot about that stalker. Wow, I must've been SIZZLIN' sophomore year! heehee.

"and.... in architecture, patty finally asked my friend who i was and then when he saw me he said, 'ha! i found you!' or something like that. heh. so okay. the biggest problem i'm having right now is that whenever i randomly think of him, i smile. that is very very bad."

"i hate this. what is with these people. if you want a girlfriend go find some sweet innocent little ingenue to like!!! leave me the hell alone!!!"

"so there i was, like a total idiot, all happy and worrying cuz he might be at the meeting. what the hell."
I liked to say 'what the hell' a lot. :)
"but later, i went to find out where his room was, and according to mereena, i "squealed like a pig" and ran away when we got to it. :Þ but then later i left him a post-it on the door saying that he sucks. so i don't know. is this flirting? god i hope not. i can't help it. what am i doing....."
"omg omg omg. what the hell is wrong with me?!?!??!"
Hahahaha. Don't you love the omg's and the question mark and exclamation point combinations?

"i need to be shot. SERIOUSLY. my god. so i'm over there, all independent and 'guys are assholes' and stuff, ready to shout it out at the world, and planning to completely ignore him and not even look at him in class, and then. god us girls are so pathetic! all he does is, brush some papers against my desk when he goes by. that's it. and throw a glance back at me which i didn't really return, but geez. i'm so pathetic!!!! i SMILE! what the hell?! i can't help it! god. SO PATHETIC. everything, everything, everything, goes out the window. okay, fine, it didn't completely go out the window. but why in the hell did i have to smile?! i'm so freaking acquiescent! [yes, big word, shut up.] it's pathetic! my god. do i really need a guy that much?! somebody shoot me."
heeheehee! It's funny now, after the fact. :) I probably didn't agree at the time.

"steve comes along and so shan goes off to talk to him. that's fine i guess. but now that this has happened i blame shan for leaving me. :Þ I SEE PATTY. what are the chances. i'm almost at the end of the line and then i see him. [i guess he saw me first and waited for me to see him.] and i SMILE. AGAIN. i'm sorry i really like using caps right now. :Þ"
"omg but shan took forever!!! i was half-panicking when we were talking, kept looking towards where shan had last left me and hoping that she would hurry. he knew that i was nervous. oh damn, he might take that to mean that i'm "intrigued" by him or something! [his stupid words] BAH. whatever. he kept trying to prod information out of me. and he was all happy cuz unlike online, i couldn't avoid him in person. :Þ"
God it's so much fun to read this. :) It's so cute. The me then might find it really ridiculous that the me now is missing that.

"ARGGGGGH. he just asked me to go do something. i knew this would happen. why did i come home?! why couldn't i stay at barnes & noble forever and ever and ever, sleeping in the bathroom or something when it closes?!"



And here are some quotes from Maggie, maybe five or six months later, after she knew everything and we both liked each other. She kind of got too involved in this television show. Started empathizing with the main character. :)

"I don't know if I can trust him because he hurt me before."
"Oh that made me tickle because he said that!"
Me: Oh yeah, you have aerobics at 9.
Maggie: Aww, you remembered, that's so sweet. But that doesn't give me that tingly feeling.
"I guess he likes me. I mean, you."