Taken from Newsday Sunday, December 3, 2000.

 

First, The Spelling Chequer

It is important not to rely on your spell check application as a proofreader.  This poem reveals why:

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It cam with my pea sea

It plainly marques four me revue

Miss steaks eye kin know sea.

 

Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong or write

It shows me strait a weigh.

 

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the error rite

Its rarely ever wrong.

 

Eye have run this poem threw it

I am shore your pleased two no

Its letter perfect in its weigh.

My chequer tolled me sew.

 

And, Rules for Writing Real Good…

Dont use no double negatives.

Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents.

Join clauses good, like conjunction should.

About them sentence fragments.

When dangling, watch your participles.

Verbs has got to agree with their subjects.

Dont write run-on sentences they are hard to read.

Dont use commas, which aren't necessary.

Try to not ever split infinitives.

Its important to use your apostrophes correctly.

Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.

Correct speling is essential.

Eschew ostentatious erudition.

Avoid clichés like the plague.