Taylor waited only a moment after the shaking stopped and put himself back in his trunks, quickly retying the laces at the top of the fly. He ran his hand through his hair and looked down at Dea, who was watching him intently. He groaned inwardly, mentally kicking himself for even letting it get as far as they went. She sat up and quietly tried to get her bikini top back on, without looking up again. 'Shit..' he muttered to himself and moved behind her, tying her top for her without speaking. He was trying to think of something to say, but drawing a big, black as the black hole, BLANK. He just KNEW he could not tell her what he knew she wanted to hear. He sat down behind her, slipped his arms around her waist and held her for a while, kissing her shoulders and neck and stroking her hair. She gripped his forearms, in front of her chest, and rubbed her small fingers back and forth across them, as they watched the waves break against the shore. "Dea...I.." he started to say. "Shhhh..." she cut him off. "Don't say anything okay?" she asked softly. "But.." he started again. "NO..no don't.." she sighed and squeezed his arms again. "Okay.." he whispered back and kissed her cheek. She closed her eyes for a moment and looked up into the sky, then shivered. "Here.." he handed her the long sleeved t-shirt Emma lent her and helped her get it on her body. "Thank you." she murmured softly. "Let's go back and sit by the fire, Dea. You're cold." he told her. She nodded in answer and let him help her to stand, then took the arm he offered as they walked back to the slowly dying fire. Emma stirred slightly, from the cramp in her neck. She had fallen asleep with her head on Zac's chest and laid in that position too long. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Taylor helping Dea get settled by the fire, wrapping her in the blanket and then settling himself next to her. Dea looked completely confused and Taylor's expression was just guilty. She wanted to hug Dea and kill Taylor all in the same moment. Why? She knew Taylor was better than that. She mellowed slightly as she realized they had all been drinking and Dea was not used to the hard stuff. Alcohol tended to make you do things you wouldn't normally do. She should know. She eased up on Taylor when she saw how he was trying really hard to make Dea comfortable and feel like she was being paid close attention to. He stoked the dying fire a bit, threw a couple more pieces of driftwood on it and looked over at her and Zac. They locked eyes for a moment, but Emma said nothing. The guilt in his eyes was too obvious and she suddenly felt bad for him. She gave him a small smile and he relaxed a bit. He looked at Zac then, who was sleeping flat on his back in a position that looked almost painful. Emma's eyes met Taylor's one more time and then she rolled over, pushing herself against Zac, knowing he'd move to wrap his arms around her without waking up. When he did, she sighed contentedly and gripped his forearms, planted a small kiss there, closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep. Taylor watched how Zac and Emma fit together without a word, and felt even worse. He moved next to Deanna, slipped under the blanket with her, wrapped his arm around her waist and tried to sleep. She snuggled back against him and he kissed her neck and stroked her hair. She sighed softly and covered his hand with hers. "It's alright, Tay. I'm sleepy. You should sleep too..." she murmured and kissed his hand again. He gave her a light squeeze and laid his head down. he closed his eyes, but once again, sleep was a long time coming. |
| Emma woke with the sun, and stretched carefully, so she wouldn't wake Zac, who was sleeping peacefully. He looked absolutely sweet and sexy, lying on his side, his long, salt and sand tangled hair falling across his face. She sat up and knelt beside him, carefully moved his hair off his face and kissed his cheek. He smiled slightly in his sleep and she grinned, tucked the blanket around him and went down to the water. Taylor watched without a word as Emma lavished her affection on Zac as he slept, then walked down toward the water. He rolled toward Dea, stroked her hair back and slowly got up, so as not to wake her, but she stirred and looked at him. "Tay?" she questioned softly. "Nature calls, Dea...go back to sleep, okay?" he kissed her cheek as she closed her eyes and grinned slightly. "Kay.." she sighed as he pulled the blanket up over her shoulder and tucked it around her. "That'll keep you warm till I get back.." he said softly. "Mmmhmm.." she murmured, almost asleep already. Taylor stepped lightly around his brothers and headed toward the water, after the look Emma gave him last night he really wanted to know what she was thinking, he could handle Dea being pissed at him, but he didn't want Emma thinking that he was some creep like that asshole she worked for. When he approached her, he sucked in his breath. The dawn light made her sleep, sex, beach tangled hair glow and frame her gorgeous green eyes as she pitched rocks into the ocean. "You're up early, considering the amount of whiskey I saw you drink.." he said, jokingly. Her eyes flashed with anger when she looked at him, making him take a step back. "Maybe you should have paid more attention to what Dea was drinking.." she snapped, her voice low. "I know Emma.." he said softly, and looked at his feet. "I'm sorry, Taylor." she said quickly, "what you do with your dates is your buisness." She looked at him carefully. "Taylor, it's just that I LIKE her. If you don't feel THAT way.." she began and then stopped. "Shit.." she muttered. "Don't hurt her, Tay. Don't just NOT call..." she chucked another rock into the sea, hard. "Emma..what kind of asshole do you think I am?" he asked angrily. "Yeah..I let things go too far, but not as far as you think.." he told her. "And I WILL call her again. I don't want her to be hurt either. But I won't lie and tell her I love her when I don't. At least I'm honest.." he said and instantly regretted it when he saw the look on her face. "I'm sorry.." he said quietly. "You and I aren't that different I guess." she said slowly. He looked at her questioningly. She sighed loudly. "Taylor, I don't want to hurt Zac. Ever. I love him...so much.." she said, making Taylor feel the figurative knife twist in his chest. "But I haven't told him for purely selfish reasons. I keep thinking that I will be done with school so soon...and I can quit...and I'll tell him then, when I won't have to swallow half a bottle of whiskey just to do my job and endure the look that others give me from HIM. I couldn't stand that Tay. That's why I haven't said anything. He means so much to me and I am STUCK. What will my life be if he can't take it and pushes me away?" she asked, her eyes filled with unshed tears. She did not look at him, but steadily kept pitching rocks into the ocean, throwing harder with each phrase. He wanted to gather her up and hold her, be the one to make everything alright for her and he wanted to scream, knowing that that could NEVER happen. That it WOULD NOT happen, ever. He could only stand there and stare at her. |