Thursday 17th April, 1997 I10 over Swamp                         Destrehan Plantation Home                                 Houmas Plantation Home                       Stats.: Route: New Orleans(LA) 61310 48310 1044 1012 1090 Biloxi(MI) Road Kill: UNKNOWN----7 Birds------3 Raccoons---2 Armadillos 2 Shoes - - -1 The dark static of my mind flinched to the pulsing of the alarm clock. I sat bolt upright at the sound of the aforementioned clock hitting the opposite wall. Something deep in the sub levels of my mind must have been pretty desperate to keep the higher ones in the dark. Half an hour later, I was swilling down copious amounts of coffee in a feeble attempt to clear the fuzz from my head and the fur from my tongue. A glance at the clock told me it was time to check out of The Prince Conti. Well, we can add New Orleans to my short list of places to visit again. One day was barely enough to scratch and sniff. Another half hour past and I was lost in a concrete maze of roads trying to find the Route 48. A cunning plan surfaced through the mental-haze, and after only another twenty minutes I had rapidly eliminated two of my road maps as inaccurate and found the 48. When will the publishers of tourism maps stop printing these esthetically pleasing maps, which have no bearing on reality?! The road was following the Mississippi levy wall. My destination was the first of two antebellum Plantation Houses, Destrehan. When these plantations were founded, boats were the main mode of transport, thus most of the plantation homes were built along the Mississippi for access. Many of those which remain today have featured in numerous movies and TV shows. Destrehan has a particularly interesting past, which sees it passing through many peoples hands and being structurally altered every decade or so. Eventually it was almost lost when the oil company, which owned it, just let it fall into ruin. Eventually the same company donated it to a society that is dedicated to its restoration. And now it is back in near original order. At Destrehan, and later at Houmas, I took part in a guided tour of these magnificent homes. Indeed, in both cases, entry is forbidden unless accompanied by the guide. They were very informative too. At first I had to smirk at the period costumes worn by the guides. But once the tours commenced, they seamed to fit and it was hard to imagine them looking any different. In both cases, when the crowd wandered off ahead, I half expected to blink and be back in those early days of Louisiana's colonisation. For the majority of the rest of my trip into the Mississippi, the interstate was built on huge stilts that plunged down into the swamp and marsh. It was almost like being on a scenic roller-coaster. I guess that it is technically one long bridge. Once across the state line, I got onto Route 90, and headed for the coast. One minute I was in swamp land, and the next I turned a dramatic bend and was by the Gulf of Mexico again. This time I was following a long white sand beach, lined with gorgeous, ornate old homes. I recall reading that this beach is man-made. But I can not find any references to corroborate this tidbit. About midway along the Mississippi state coast line I stopped at Biloxi. Starting at Gulfport there have been casinos at one or two mile intervals and the intervening space is filled with , motels, hotels, T-Shirt shops and Souvenir shops. It was getting late. Then I saw it, a huge artificial pirate ship, built out of concrete, complete with masts and sails, moored next to an equally artificial castle. All its dimensions are warped, like it was squashed by its own weight. On the opposite side of the road is a totally sane sixties motel with a flashing vacancy sign and an insanely low room rate. So I check in and head over to The Treasure Bay Casino Resort. It is like a mini Reno (i.e. a mini, mini Las Vegas) with the feel of a UK coastal holiday resort. I change some notes into quarters and feed the machines, while I watch people excitedly slot coin after coin into other machines. What pros! Surely they should get sponsored and a peak-hour slot on ESPN. One case epitomises the entire affair. In front of a poster, an old lady is helped from her walking-frame to a five cent slot machine. The poster depicts an attractive, young couple, dressed for dinner and having a ball at a slot machine. Its legend say, "Slackest Slots". (I just love that phrase!) The old woman then proceeds to use three slot machines at once. As time passes, the plastic cartons of coins grow empty and she trembles as she grumbles at a near miss or snortes in triumph at a win. Eventually her supplies give out. She is helped back to her walking aid and guided to the nearest cashier. Her help nodds as she hoarsely states, "Y'all know t'was about to start payin'!" I pondered what she would have done - if this statement was correct and she had played on - with the jack-pot prize of a Jet-ski. Tonight's supper was in a near by diner. The only reason for choosing this place was that it sold grits and, until today, I had not tried any. I am glad to report that I have not been missing much. It tastes like watery cream of wheat (aka porridge), but I think it must be made using some other grain crop. I tried to interrogate my serving person, but the best I got out of her was, "Grits IS grits." I think I was hitting that accent wall again. ------