MITTENS IN A TUTU? WHAT NEXT!
© 2000 Lorraine Dahl
Oh, Kenny! Kenny! Kenny!
It’s an awful time I’m having! Linda and Lorraine have got their noses back in that catalog and are laughing and giggling more than ever!
I looked into the catalog and what did I see? COSTUMES! I’d give one of my nine lives to be spared this indignity, this shame, this anguish, this embarrassment, this humiliation, this disrespect, this degradation, this debasement, this dishonor. Oh, my! That’s ALL of my nine lives!
You should hear their whispered plans! They have decided on a pink ballet outfit with a little net “tutu” skirt and tiny ballet slippers for my dainty paws. It couldn’t be worse! Other choices were a cowgirl getup, a paramedic, a Barbie doll (Heaven save me!) There’s more! An animal trainer, an Eskimo, policeman, fireman, undertaker, nurse, hippie, biker wench, cook, waitress, zoo keeper, and others I don’t even recognize! And then there is the worst, a dog trainer.
Kenny, WHAT is to become of me? I LOVE living here but it is turning into my WORST NIGHTMARE!! Who can save me? I hate it when Linda and Lorraine get their heads together and GIGGLE!
But what can I do? I am only a cat. They can dress and undress me like a doll and oh! I just had a HORRIBLE thought. What if they take me outside in that silly skirt and slippers and those cats that live next door see me? I’ll never even be able to look out a window without seeing whiskers curled up in a smile of mockery at my inability to prevent this tragedy. Oh, woe is me! I’m doomed! My fate is in their hands.
Well, Kenny, it’s all your fault. Yes, you. If you hadn’t had me declawed I could have ripped that catalog to SHREDS the VERY moment I realized the intentions of those two. My only hope is that you will come for me before the mailman gets here. Would the judge release you early from jail if you told him my troubles? It’s worth a try! I’m desperate!
Love,
Mittens
