MITTENS PLANS A CAREER
© 2000 Lorraine Dahl
Dear Kenny,
Well, I’m beginning to see how their minds work! Linda and Lorraine, I mean. First they dress me up in a pink tutu, then they take pictures! Of course, there would have to be photos!! Oh, I need TEN lives to bear the ultimate punishment! What to do? What to do? If only you were here instead of that awful jail cell this wouldn’t be happening! I, your dearest friend, am at their mercy.
Yes, I am at their mercy, so why not roll with the punches? Let them take their photos and send them to Cat World or some other publication. Perhaps one day I will become a cat model, even a celebrity. They might call me The Cat Who Dresses for Dinner Differently Every Night. Rather cool, no?
Puuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr.
I do look rather striking in my tutu, with my tiny ballet slippers slung carelessly over my right shoulder, which would show my left profile and keep the photographer from catching the missing tip of my right ear. There is a possibility that I could make it BIG in show business. What do you think? Maybe those two DARLING women are preparing me so I may launch my CAREER!
Oh, dear Kenny, think of it! If only I could earn enough money to keep us BOTH happy. I need musical notes here. Hollywood, da da da da Hollywood! Can’t you picture my name in lights? THE ONE AND ONLY — SENSATIONAL — MITTENS — IN PERSON!
Ah, the finest restaurants — me in your arms — special tables — the limo — soft music — dancing — and I’ll pay for it all! This is all for you, Kenny — the pink tutu, ballet slippers, photos, and all the rest.
The future beckons and it shall be ours! Modeling career, here I come! I am so photogenic that all the pictures would be lovely, wouldn’t they? If that doesn’t work out, I KNOW I could be a dog trainer. Look at how I put Brigette the dog in HER place.
Oh, no! Just when I wanted to make more plans I feel a catnap coming on.
(Yawn)
I will write to you again and I expect a letter from you. A letter to me, not to Linda. A letter with MY name on it. One that can be READ to ME. I am keeping a file and it is EMPTY! Come on! The future is ours!
Much Love,
The one-and-only MITTENS
