Okay, first things fuckin' last!
- Chris Penn as "Nice Guy Eddie" in Resevoir Dogs.

[Elwood Blues has just passed on a red light, and a police car rolls up behind them. The words are said in the same rhythm as a blues song ("Soothe Me") on the car stereo]
Elwood Blues : Shit!
Jake Blues: What?
Elwood Blues: Rollers...
Jake Blues: No!
Elwood Blues: Yeah.
Jake Blues: Shit!
- Dan Akroyd as "Elwood" and John Belushi as "Jake" in The Blues Brothers.

If you shoot this man, you die next. Repeat. If you shoot this man, you die next.
- Harvey Keitel as "Mr. White/Larry" in Resevoir Dogs.

Mr. Brown: O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr. White: A lot.
Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin the serious dick action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, "Like a virgin."
- Quentin Tarantino as "Mr. Brown", Edward Bunker as "Mr. Blue", and Harvey Keitel as "Mr. White" in Resevoir Dogs.

[Mr. White and Mr. Pink are washing up after the robbery went sour, trying to figure out what happened.]
Mr. Pink: You kill anybody?
Mr. White: A few cops.
Mr. Pink: No real people?
Mr. White: Just cops.
- Steve Buscemi as "Mr. Pink" and Harvey Keitel as "Mr. White" in Resevoir Dogs.

Mr. White: You shoot me in a dream, you'd better wake up and apologize.
Mr. Blonde: All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you aren't going to get.
- Harvey Keitel as "Mr. White" and Michael Madsen as "Mr. Blonde" in Resevoir Dogs.

That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten.
- Harvey Keitel as "Winston Wolf" in Pulp Fiction.

Jules: Whoa...whoa...whoa...stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
Vincent: Not the same thing, the same ballpark.
Jules: It ain't no ballpark either. Look maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his lady's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, ain't the same league, ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down man, I don't tickle or nothin'.
Vincent: Have you ever given a guy a foot massage?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: How many?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: Would you give me a foot massage? I'm kinda tired.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gettin' pissed.
- Samuel L. Jackson as "Jules Winnfield" and John Travolta as "Vincent Vega" in Pulp Fiction.

Jules: (...) You read the Bible?
Ringo: Not regularly.
Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin, Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.
- Samuel L. Jackson as "Jules Winnfield" and Tim Roth as "Ringo" in Pulp Fiction.

I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker.
- Samuel Jackson as "Jules Winnfield" in Pulp Fiction.

Jules, if you give that fuckin' nimrod fifteen hundred dollars, I'm gonna shoot him on general principles.
- John Travolta as "Vincent Vega" in Pulp Fiction.

Kate: Are you okay?
Seth: Peachy! Why shouldn't I be? The world's my oyster, except for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though I don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory.
- Juliette Lewis as "Kate Fuller" and George Clooney as "Seth Gecko" in From Dusk Till Dawn.

Carlos: What, were they psychos, or...?
Seth: Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are.
- Cheech Marin as "Carlos" and George Clooney as "Seth Gecko" in From Dusk Till Dawn.

Ordell: Is she dead, yes or no? Louis: Pretty much.
- Samuel L. Jackson as "Ordell Robbie" and Robert De Niro as "Louis Gara" in Jackie Brown.

My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.
- Samuel L. Jackson as "Ordell Robbie" in Jackie Brown.

AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room. Accept no substitute.
- Samuel L. Jackson as "Ordell Robbie" in Jackie Brown.

Ordell: Look, I hate to be the kinda nigga does a nigga a favor, then, BAM!, hits a nigga up for a favor in return. But I'm afraid I gotta be that kinda nigga.
Beaumont: What?
Ordell: I need a favor.
- Samuel L. Jackson as "Ordell Robbie" and Chris Tucker as "Beaumont Livingston" in Jackie Brown.

Horses are fascinating animals. Dumb as fenceposts but very intuitive. In that way they're not too different from high school girls: they may not have a brain in their head but they do know all the boys want to fuck 'em.
- Gene Hackman as "Capt. Frank Ramsey" in Crimson Tide.

Problem? I haven't got a problem. I've got fucking problems. Plural.
- Tim Roth as "Ted the Bellhop" in Four Rooms.

[Ted is asked how his first day is going.]
Well, most recently, there's room 309, there's this scary Mexican gangster dude poking his finger in my chest. There's his hooligan kids snapping their fingers at me. There's a putrid, rotting corpse of a dead whore stuck in the springs of the bed. There's rooms blazing afire. There's a big fat needle from God knows where, stuck in my leg, infecting me with God knows what. And finally there's me, walking out the door, right fucking now. Buenas noches.
- Tim Roth as "Ted the Bellhop" in Four Rooms.

Unfortunately, you don't have the balls to back up the actions of your huge cock.
- Jennifer Beals as "Angela" in Four Rooms.

Goddess Diana, fail you I will.
I was to bring you fresh sperm from my Bill.
I had him erect and his semen would follow.
Alas, I was hot. So hot that I swallowed.
- Ione Skye as "Eva" in Four Rooms.

I could go on and on about his cock, his bone, his knob, his bishop, wang, thang, rod, hot rod, hump mobile, oscar, dong, dagger, bannana, cucumber, salami, sausage, kielbassa, schlong, dink, tool, big ben, Mr. Happy, Peter Pecker, pee-pee, wee-wee, wiener, pisser, pistol, piston joint, hose, horn, middle leg, third leg, meat, stick, joystick, dipstick, one-eyed wonder, junior, little head, little guy, rumple foreskin, tootsie roll, love muscle, skin flute, roto-rooter, snake, hammer, rammer, spammer, bazooka, rubber, chubby, sticky, stubby, schmeck, schmuck, schvantze, ying-yang, yang...
- Jennifer Beals as "Angela" in Four Rooms.

[Seth is talking about his .44 to the hostage]
If you try to run, I've got six little friends and they can all run faster than you can.
- George Clooney as "Seth Gecko" in From Dusk Till Dawn.

I do. 'Til you and I die, and die, and die again. 'Til death do us part.
- Juliette Lewis as "Mallory Wilson Knox" in Natural Born Killers.

I mean look at her, like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
- Christian Slater as "Clarence Worley" in True Romance.

Now the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest. I don't give a shit if you're fuckin' Wyatt Earp or Jack the Ripper. Remember that guy in Texas? The guy up in that fuckin' tower that killed all them people? I'll bet you green money that first little black dot he took a bead on, that was the bitch of the bunch. First one is tough, no fuckin' foolin'. The second one... the second one ain't no fuckin' Mardis Gras either, but it's better than the first one 'cause you still feel the same thing, y'know... except it's more diluted, y'know it's... it's better. I threw up on the first one, you believe that? Then the third one... the third one is easy, you level right off. It's no problem. Now... shit... now I do it just to watch their fuckin' expression change.
- James Gandolfini as "Virgil" in True Romance.

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Page created March 15, 2000
Last updated March 29, 2000