Freshman Year of College
Fall Semester
"That's why you have to beat them with shovels. To get the sin out." -Andrew (on babies)
"From there, it's all you, baby." -Barry Howell (to me)
"Courtney, you're being so antisocial. Aren't you supposed to be a socialist?" -Jen
"I don't want to vote for Bush just because he's not Kerry." -some girl on a paper sale (she said she thinks Kerry would lead us into Communism, which proves she's insane)
"We should do it anarchist style. We should take all the food, throw it away and then go to a punk show and complain about everyone there." -Elwin (about waiting to be allowed to have food)
"Have you heard that Steve is an emotional lesbian?" -Katie
"No one is superior in such a way that they should live better or fuller lives." -Stephanie (defining what a socialist believs, specifically in response to the idea of equality not homogeneity)
"Thousands of years in the past and the future and there's always the nuclear family....This is what they want you to think (that our capitalist social structure is static and natural)." -Stuart (about the Flintstones and the Jetsons)
"A copy of the Manifesto in every [hotel] room and a free sickle." -Cameron
miskowiec18: "im sure if i had had the opportunity to have sex with dostoevsky it would be quite pleasurable"
miskowiec18: "youve got a crush on barry ive got a crush on dostoevsky"
miskowiec18: "i wonder what my girlfriend would think about my wants to make love to dostoevsky"
miskowiec18: "im a big fan of men with beards"
"People only desire to know the truth insofar as it is accordance with that which they already believe to be true." -Me
EternalCowboy22: "Kerry-ites"
EternalCowboy22: "that's latin for dumb fuck isn't it?"
Senior Year of High School 2003-2004
Second Semester
“Pitt wreaks of cute boys and I don’t’ mind the stench.” –Mom
“There are kids in the third world who would love halves of sentences.” –Seth
“Tell me. Who’s trying to get a piece of the broken-up empire pie?” Naveh
“Autobiography, that’s when you write your own book in a car.” -Naveh
“I thought Indians found America.” - Seth
"Engels was Marx's sugardaddy, intellectually speaking." -me
"I'll love you commie or no. Just try not to murder anyone, okay?"-Mom (to me)
"You have a superiority complex because you're one inch taller than me." [me] "Well, I am superior in height."[Mom]
"I'll have to pay you in hugs." -Dylan
"I never finish, I just run out of time." -Mom
"I get to stay further away from the great unwashed masses [because of my desk]." -Murphy
"I like to wash my hands before I get into my car, so I don't get the schenley on it." -Murphy
"I am impervious to heat. I'm also impervious to weather damage." -Naveh
"I was 6 weeks premature and some 20 years immature." -Naveh
"Wait a minute! A country wants to be sure about weapons of mass destructioni before taking action? I don't understand." -Naveh (about the Cuban Missile Crisis
"I had a fight with my wife last night. And neither of us is pregnant by the way." -Naveh
February 2004
"That's kind of scary being of the ambiguous nationality you are." -Murphy about how Rhajiv (Sri Lankan) looks in a ski mask
"If you can't think for yourself, you don't deserve to." -Davv
"Fear full to the brim..." -Beau
"When you sell something, you always need a buyer." -Moser
"I don't know anything anyone else knows." -Kim
"If love doesn't bloom when you're watching this [Howard Kosell documentary], then you're not watching close enough." -Naveh
January 2004
"Between Pop Tarts and Crunch Berries, I definitely get enough fruit." -Elliot (derivative but nicely worded)
"Mr. Culyba still has classes. I thought they fixed that." -Dylan
"Here we see Turks and somehow they've enslaved European women, sex slaves and all that good stuff...I'm not afraid of S-E-X, I told you that." -Moser (about a slide)
"If somebody's head were blown off in front of me, I think I'd need a day off." -Moser (on Jackie Kennedy)
"I was perusing the television..." -Beau
"I really don't have as much sex as people think I do." -Jared (to Lauren)
"President Bush goes in time machine and searches for Weapons of Mass Destruction." -Naveh
"When you write your book and go on your speaking tour...The Book will be called BRING BACK THE COLD WAR, IT WASN'T THAT BAD." -Naveh(about Rhajiv standing up for the Korean and Vietnam Wars)
"Her poodles have man-fur?" -Naveh (responding to Jeremy CP's comment about Lil' Kim's poodles and their mink fur coats)
"Progress can happen when you're doing nothing." -Naveh
"My peripheral vision isn't the same since the accident..." -Naveh
"I like bland colors for the car and bright colors in the house, but anyway..." -Beau
"Where does the white wedding gown bump into the red wedding gown?" -Moser
December 2003
"It's like walking into an oven that is inside the sun." -Naveh (southern Israel in July)
"When I was little I wanted to be a nun because I didn't like boys." -Maria R
"I wish I was black, then I'd look really good in white." -Maria R
"You weren't there. You didn't see us turn into microorganisms, humans and movie stars." -Seth (on evolution, though he's also a hardcore Christian)
"Logic is either irrefutable or not irrefutable." -Seth
"You suck in every way. The only thing you're good at is sucking." -Elliot
"Mr. Naveh, do you have a prom date?" [Kristen] "I don't know. I still have to ask Mrs. Naveh." [Naveh - crossing his fingers]
"What is the difference between an attractive face and knee-weakening beauty?" -Seth (during his presentation on aestetics)
"I'm more like the War of '73. I see the writing on the wall. Then I'm caught off guard on Yom Kippur." -Naveh (responding to Latrice's comment about the Arab-Israeli War of 1967 being a preemptive strike, as in a relationship, Naveh revealing his relationship patterns by using the Yom Kippur War as an analogy)
"Humiliation equals radicalism." -Naveh
"Give back that land right now! Do not pass go, do not collect $200." -Naveh (immitating some Israelis after the 1967 war and the terrority that was taken and never given back)
"Radical groups have nothing to do but be radical. They're not like, 'I'm radical on the side..'" -Naveh
"Shoot! I forgot my placebo." -Harry
"You just have an oceanic feeling." -Moser (about spirituality)
"I have nothing against hands." -Weiss
October 2003
"Hey, Mrs. Naveh, let's go revolting!" -Naveh
"In order to understand knowledge, we must break it up into its two most importance words k-now and ledge. The more you k-now in this class, the more you want to get out on that ledge." -Naveh (about Theory of Knowledge)
"History is a life force of its own." -Naveh
"Mr. Naveh, you're a rabble-rouser." [Katie] "I am, I'm a Communist." [Naveh]
"There's different degrees of Hitler." -Naveh
September 2003
"You also have to realize that quantum physics is counterintuitive and makes no sense." -Davv
"Don't listen to stupid people or you'll get killed." -Davv (moral of WWI)
"Don't form alliances with Austria-Hungary." -Jeremy CP (moral of WWI)
"Let me give you some advice: Be careful who you take advice from." -Naveh
"Roses are red
Bryophytes are mosses
Xylem carries water
I love Harry Potter
"
-Kristin Hayes (her essay to "Describe the evolution of the plants from bryophyte to angiosperms. Be sure to include sexual reproduction, vascular tissues and trends in generations." - which was a fake essay question to trick Nat, because the copier was down and we really didn't have a test and he was the last person to come in)
"Let it wash over you like a beautiful wave of historical knowledge." -Naveh
"What should I do with this blood? I'll figure something out." -Elliot (with sitcom-esque jauntiness)
"In the end, what do the paradigms really add up to? A pair of dimes." -Beau
June 2003
"I want to roll around in a big pile of boys" -my mom
“I’m claustra-ho-bic.” – [Big Black] Ed L.
“I failed the crap out of that test!” –Micah
“I’m not crazy, I’m vivid.“ -Shawn
May 2003
“Could you slow down a bit? My ears don’t work as fast as your mouth.” –Moser
“I measured this exactly wrong!” –Seth
“I’m not a Republican; I’m a compassionate fascist.” –Rhajiv
"I don't get to see him but others get to feast on his beautiful face." --my Mom (on wearing her Marilyn Manson t-shirt)
"America is my religion." --Shawn B.
"I used to be black, now I'm IB." --Kristen H.
"I always wanted a pair of corduroy pants and I now I have them. I think I am truly happy." -Me
"It's cancer in a box." --Rachel M (about tanning salons)
"I'm very close-minded when it comes to cheese." --Lauren C.
"France had a plan called Plan 17, to march straight to Berlin" [Mr. Moser] "What was Plan 16? Go out for ice cream and then go to Berlin?" [Seth]
"There's no reason to misspell something." --Elliot
“There was an ambiance of another word coming after.” –Beau
“I would like nothing more than to set people on fire.” –Lauren C
"If guys couldn't do splits because of their penis, big or small, they wouldn't be able to do splits at all." --Shawn
"He's shrewd and astute at the same time." --Beau (about Seth)
“Ritter does make good arguments and points, as stated with the excerpt above, but in these arguments he focuses on word after word analyzing every syllable until he creates a façade of facts that could not be destroyed if you threw this very book at it.” –Shawn (book review)
“That’s the second time in two days that I’ve tried to eat myself while eating something else.” –Lauren
“That’s the exact taste I don’t like.” –Maria
“You’re the illest and then some.” –Seth
“Five ducks, one goose and my newborn child for that piggy.” –Aaron (on bartering)
“Are you going to get to class without getting arrested?” –Moser
“Well, you know he was being his facetious little sethness.” –Cecile (about Seth)
“Man, woman; woman, man – Birth, death, infinity.” –Mr. Miller
“I’m just telling you what they told me in teacher’s school.” –Mr. Moser
“I must say that for an officer who can’t hold a gun, chase a criminal or handcuff anyone but elderly quadriplegics, you’re quite competent. “ –Rankville (hilarious comic book by Asya and Allison)
April 2003
"You think life sucks now, wait 'til the Demerit System kicks in." -Lauren C. (a sample of what she may say to the unwanted children of every ethnicity she plans to adopt, she would require them to wear their traditional garb and give them demerits if they didn't, this particular comment was sparked by the fact that she wouldn't have her own children but adopt those who already have psychological problems from a broken home)
“Russians are always looking to touch warm water or be friends with people who touch warm water” –Moser
"Nobody wants a used baby!" -Me
"I can't hear short people." --Elliot (to me)
"I don't have a class with him physically but mentally that man is on top of me." --Jaime F.
"So, you'll have to tell me more about how you're the ruler of the universe." --Me to Cecile
the one that started it all
“Hey Betsy! Wanna get naked without knowing it?” –Billy