G-Money est Funny

Reviews of Movies I Have Never Seen
		
I kind of stole this from this guy, but 
I gave it an added twist so I didn’t look like a giant douche.

Pulp Fiction  John Travolta is back! And Samuel L Jackson has an afro 
and possibly a moustache! Uma Thurman is in it too, and some people dance and 
its gory and shit. TARANTINO IS A GENIUS!

2001: A Space Odyssey This movie sucks. It sucks because I once read a 
book by Arthur C Clarke about the Titanic in the year 3000 and it was totally 
shitty. Why would anyone remake the Titanic? Anyone that has stupid ideas like 
that can never have a good movie associated with them.

A Clockwork Orange Hey, Stanley Kubrick! Remember when he made that 
movie where Nicole Kidman was naked? That was sweet! This movie is about a guy 
who beats up people with umbrellas! IT HAS TO BE GOOD!

Annie Hall Once I watched some show or movie or something and the one 
criteria this dude had to get a girl was that they have to had seen Annie 
Hall. That movie/show sucked so bad I can barely remember it. This movie has 
Diane Lane in it I think, but whenever I see Woody Allen I want to step on him 
because he is a stupid whiny prick. I give this film 5 stars.

The Pink Panther Returns  LIFE IS PINKIFUL!

The Flinstones Meet the Jetsons I may have actually seen this one, but 
if the Great Gazoo was in it, it sucked. Why would the Flinstones meet the 
Jetsons anyway? I hate you, Hollywood.

Ballistic: Ecks VS Sever Good idea, guys.

Planet of the Apes This movie looks kind of crappy, but its probably 
better than the Tim Burton version. This one of the few movies you can quote 
without having actually seen it, and that’s pretty cool. Plus, Charlton Heston 
is a gun nut and that’s cool too. And Monkey’s are cool too. This is the 
coolest movie ever.

Men in Black 2 I went to see the first Men in Black in theatres, but in 
the middle the projector broke and then later the power went out. We sat there 
for like a half an hour before the movie came on, and then I couldn’t remember 
what was going on because I was like 12, and stupid. Then they made a sequel, 
and I wasn’t risking it. PS Will Smith is hot.

American Pie 2 I saw American Pie and American Pie 3, but I haven’t 
seen the second one. Whatever. What I want to know is who the hell would fuck 
a pie? I hate that guy so much. SO MUCH. What a stupid asshole. Seriously. 
Fuck you, guy from American Pie.


Chasing Amy Kevin Smith is a stupid idiot. So is Ben Affleck.

Jersey Girl See above (Added bonus: A HEARTWARMING LITTLE GIRL AWWW)

Spy Hard My friend Brad and I went to see this when we were like 13 and 
you had to be 14 to get in or something and they sold us a ticket and we went 
in and watched the awesome Weird Al opening song, complete with head 
explosion! Then the manager of the theatre came in and kicked us out, and then 
he wouldn’t give us our money back, so we called my Mom and she threatened to 
call the police on the theatre and we got our money back, and then played golf 
or something.

Cradle 2 Tha Grave Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaah.

XxX So bad even Vin Diesel won’t do a sequel! VIN DIESEL!

Movies with Cher in Them Apparently Cher does movies, but I’ve never 
seen a movie with Cher in it. Am I missing anything?

Apocalypse Now Apocalypse Later.

Star Wars Episode III Me Before: “Hey this movie won’t be that bad, 
because at least there will be Darth Vader he’s a badass dude, and Lucas 
couldn’t screw up that bad!
Me After: “Oh shit.”

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon What a stupid name. 

Alien In Space, I’ve Never Seen This Movie!

Matrix Reloaded Oh wait I did see this. Damnit.

Scooby Doo 2 If they had called it Scooby-Two, I would have seen it. Or 
SCOOBY-LOU and it had the guy who played the Hulk, that would be sweet.

American Beauty Its like emo, but for old people, and you can jack off 
to it.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World Oh Russel Crowe, you 
silly sailor fool! 

That’s all folks! 

Until next time, I’m Greg MacDonald.

THE END
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