We were going to do something else for our last special, but this is far better. Spin Magazine, those bastions of cool (or so they’d have you believe), have deemed themselves responsible enough to deliver a ‘top 50 bands of all time’. Here’s an article about it, published in the Age, a Melbourne-based newspaper. This is it verbatim – there were no writer credits for it.

After proudly declaring that the “band is back” after a number of years in which “rappers, dancing teens and DJs took over the dance charts, MTV and magazines’’, US music magazine Spin has named the 50 greatest bands in a list guaranteed to spark debate among rock afficionadoes over the relative merits of outfits such as The Ramones, Led Zeppelin, Hüsker Dü or Pink Floyd, among others.

The only listing guaranteed to unite critics and fans would appear to be the rather predictable choice of The Beatles at number one. After that, the fur is sure to fly.

According to Spin editors, New York punk pioneers The Ramones – whose founding member Joey Ramone recently passed away – are second to The Beatles, with Led Zeppelin coming third. Reggae king Bob Marley and the Wailers are rated fourth greatest band and Seattle grungers Nirvana round out the top five.

“The Ramones’ genius is that they could say in two minutes what it takes most bands five minutes to say,’’ the magazine quoted Deryck Whibley of the band Sum-41 as saying.

Spin’s Top 10 is completed by Parliament/Funkadelic at No.6, followed by The Clash, Public Enemy, The Rolling Stones and Beastie Boys.

It noted that bands like Creed, Incubus, Staind and Linkin Park have made a recent impact on the charts, following in the footsteps of the great bands who “sold their soul and trashed their dressing rooms for rock ‘n’ roll’’.

The criteria for the 50 greatest were that “these groups had to have a roof-raising, history-changing sound, presence or hairstyle’’.

In addition, “they also had to clearly influence today’s music in undeniable ways’’ and “had to be bands that we care about deeply’’.

That might explain why bands such as U2 (13th greatest), The Grateful Dead (27th), The Who (39th), The Beach Boys (45th) and Pink Floyd (49th) are rated lower in the Top 50 than lesser known but arguably more influential groups like The Smiths (21st), Pavement (30th), Fugazi (31st) or New Order (41st).

The list is perhaps more revealing in who was left out, including some arguably more influential bands like Steely Dan, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band.

The List
1. THE BEATLES
2. RAMONES
3. LED ZEPPELIN
4. BOB MARLEY & THE WAILERS
5. NIRVANA
6. PARLIAMENT/FUNKADELIC
7. THE CLASH
8. PUBLIC ENEMY
9. THE ROLLING STONES
10. BEASTIE BOYS
11. THE VELVET UNDERGROUND
12. SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE
13. U2
14. RUN-D.M.C.
15. RADIOHEAD
16. THE JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE
17. SONIC YOUTH
18. AC/DC
19. THE STOOGES
20. METALLICA
21. THE SMITHS
22. PATTI SMITH GROUP
23. N.W.A.
24. KRAFTWERK
25. THE SEX PISTOLS
26. PEARL JAM
27. GRATEFUL DEAD
28. R.E.M.
29. BLACK SABBATH
30. PAVEMENT
31. FUGAZI
32. KISS
33. PRETENDERS
34. RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
35. FELA KUTI & AFRIKA 70/EGYPT 80
36. DAVID BOWIE AND THE SPIDERS FROM MARS
37. BLONDIE
38. BAD BRAINS
39. THE WHO
40. GRANDMASTER FLASH & THE FURIOUS FIVE
41. NEW ORDER
42. HÜSKER DÜ
43. GUNS N’ ROSES
44. OUTKAST
45. THE BEACH BOYS
46. MASSIVE ATTACK
47. LYNYRD SKYNYRD
48. KORN
49. PINK FLOYD
50. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS