Many over the years have pondered the puzzling problem of the pushing, pointless button...

by: The idiot who pushed the button: "That big red button is the stupidest thing! I mean, I pushed it iand then it just sat there. At least it could make that splashy sound that scares me half to death every time I get onto this website! But no.... it just has to be retarded and not do anything!!! Once I pushed it and it brought up another button but not this time!!! it's stupid, and it doesn't have anything to do with swimming. It's kind of funny but kind of not cause it just sits there. Anyway, I'm going to go push it again to see if anything happens."

"I just don't get it," says John Andrew William Thoroughgood. "I mean, it's a button, sorta like the other piccy-links on the web, but I push it and it doesn't do anything. It's SUPPOSED to take me somewhere cool on the web or give me a sound file. But it doesn't. I don't get it!

Others are less dramatic. "The button's gotta lotta energy, you know, but it's like potential, it's not KENETIC. It doesn't do anything but it does it in it's own little way, you know? I can like respect its desires not to do anything and admire the sheer determination of inactivity. Cosmic."

But Joan R. Welksgood of Gaithersburg, MD says, "It's a useless button. Why I just paid sixteen bucks in tickets and packet charges just to see it is beyond me. Can I get a refund?"

"They just don't get the button," complains Tiffany Reznorgood of Suburban America. "They can't deal with its pain and file it off as some useless bit of junk. Pigs, all of them."

"I find this whole button thing strangely hillarious," notes Steven Gaggood, current location unknown. "Dunno why. Maybe because you're writing down what I'm saying about it as if it's important. Can I say hello to my mom, by the way?"

According to Gary Achenbach, "One can say that the Really Big Button doesn't do anything, but even that's not entirely true. I mean, it really doesn't do -anything-. It doesn't even doesn't do anything. I've seen things that do nothing before, but at least they actually do nothing; the button doesn't even do that. It just...it can't even be explained in words, really."

The Mad Mosher was quoted as emitting : "Click.... click... *gurgle*... click... HeeHeeHeehehe... click.. hoohoo! Click.... *wibble*... click... *snurf*... click... *sigh*... clickclickclick... *sob*."

Patrick Legg warns, "It's not true that the RBB doesn't do anything. I pressed it and my stereo fell off the bureau, practically killing my cat! I don't know how you did this but I'm not going to press it again, thats for sure."

Dean Esmay remembers... "I fell in love with a girl named Melanie and no one, especially her, cared. But I pressed the button and I felt better. I laughed. I cried. I fell down. It was beautiful. Now I press it every day. I pity those who do not understand."

Ryan Grant notes, "I think it's really great. Completely underrated. I clicked on it about 50 times, and I still haven't had enough!"

Philip Macfarlane growls, "Hey is this some kind of a joke? I clicked on your stupid button and about 5 seconds later my machine crashed, losing me about 6 hours of work on my project and trashing my disc! I'm comin' after you boy.... Doh!"

"I think there's something wrong with the Really Big Button. It doesn't seem to do anything," Paul Mitchell reports.

Dave Rogers ponders, "If a tree falls on the Really Big Button in the forest when nobody is there, does it do something?"

Gregory L. Snead shouts to a large crowd of onlookers, "You are all wrong! The button does what all buttons of its kind do: allow itself to be pushed. What to do you expect? Can it be held responsible for what *doesn't* happen once it is pressed? I think not! Perhaps the world would be a better place if individuals were more like the button. Hail to the button!"

Daniel Dylan muses, "I don't see what the big deal is...I mean I pushed it, and it worked for me."