Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today was all about the Daytime Emmys!!!! Ellen came out holding her 2 big Emmys for "Outstanding Talk Show" & "Outstanding Talk Show Host" & proudly paraded them to the audience!!!! She then told everyone that they won 5 Emmys in total including Directing, Writing & Sound!! Very cool, indeed! She even let 2 audience members hold the Emmys!! Ellen joked about her 2 Emmy trophies, "I have bookends! Now I just need to get some books!" She then thanked the fans in the audience and viewers at home in case some people didn't get a chance to watch the Emmy Awards last Friday night. Ellen was genuinely grateful to everyone who's supported her and her show. She also thanked the whole crew that made the show look as cool as it does on TV. Bravo, Ellen! Bravo, Ellen's crew!! Keep up the good work!!
• Guess what? Ellen has decided to get rid of the "Ellen's Backyard" thing which was created to accommodate the Riff-Raff people in the first place. So all the items used in the "Ellen's Backyard" area will be given away to the lucky winner who answers all questions correctly! All entries will be accepted from now 'til Thursday, May 26th. So, if you're interested, hurry up & click on here & start answering those questions & submit your info for a chance to win!!

Ellen welcomed back Matthew Fox of NBC's "Lost" to the show. Ellen raved about "Lost", saying that it's one of her favorite TV shows! Tomorrow's the season finale & Ellen gave her 2 cents about how it'd end. But of 'coz Matthew didn't reveal anything, so you guys have got to check it out tomorrow night! As you may know, he moved his entire family to Hawaii upon getting his role on the TV series which is filmed in the exotic island. Ellen found out that Matthew likes to go full monty when he swims in the water!! He also surfs! Ellen's surfed before as well & told him that when she first tried it, she held her surfboard in front of her instead of above her head, so she got quite a "knockout" from her own surfboard when she moved toward the water! She had a terrible wipe out which landed her on the beach, almost crushing a couple of lab dogs!!! She also complained and found out painfully that when one surfs, the sand just gets into the most obscure places in the body!! Hilarious!

Loud & funny Jenny McCarthy came on, doing some dirty dancing with Ellen before giving the host a big, fat hug, while still doing the "humping" dance move ever so closely to Ellen!! That woman's crazy!! Can you believe she's a mom??! Yup, she gave birth 3 years ago & she looks fabulous now! But the good sport that she always is, she let Ellen show us a picture of her in labor when she was about 200 lbs!!!! It took her a full year to lose 80 lbs & she was very proud of it, telling all expectant mothers out there that if she could do it, everyone else could, too. Ellen congratulated Jenny for her 2nd best-selling book entitled, "Baby Laughs"!!! Wow, little did we know that the blonde bombshell wrote 2 books already!! Her first book was also a best-seller, about being pregnant! Fantastic!! Jenny also has a new sitcom on UPN which premieres tonight, "Bad Girl's Guide."

Once again, Ellen did it again!!! She showered a woman, nicknamed "The Mother of the Neighborhood" by People Magazine, loads of gifts of gratitude for doing what she's done for so many years - taking kids in who were in danger of becoming bad & nurturing them with love, care, education and life-learning in the renowned gang land of South Central, LA. Right now, she has 8 kids living with her in her tiny 1-bedroom apartment! She's also received support from the Sheriff's Dept. to open a school for the kids!!! So in return to all these selfless tasks that she's doing for the kids, Ellen & Co. presented her with $5K each c/o K Mart, Centinela Freeman Medical Center, HSBC & Albertson's - all to help her get all the stuff she needs for the school!! AND, the biggest price & a huge emotional surprise was the ultra-spacious Dodge van so she could use it to take the kids to school!!!! WOW!!! The woman (can't remember her name) was so emotional & couldn't thank Ellen enough. Bravo, Ellen, for promoting the act of goodwill and selflessness that we all have within us if only we practice it!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about the animals in her backyard again. Only this time, there were 2 ducks (a male & a female) who were trying to get into the pool but because Ellen had recently covered it to conserve energy, the ducks got very confused 'coz the cover looked just like the water in the pool but then they knew that something was wrong, somehow!! Ellen actually took a picture of the ducks - one standing still by the pool looking at it & the other sitting on the grass, probably given up on trying to figure out what the problem was with the pool! Very funny, indeed!

Goldie Hawn was in the house!!! For the very first time!! COOL!! Goldie came on dancing away but the music that was playing apparently wasn't hot enough for her to flaunt her dance moves, so when she finally sat down beside Ellen, she whined, "I wanna dance!" Obviously, Ellen's Goldie's biggest fan for a long time but I don't think Goldie heard her say that 'coz she was still looking all ditsy & admiring the cheerful audience! Goldie has a book out now entitled, "A Lotus Grows In The Mud" which Ellen obviously hadn't read it before the interview but promised her guest she'd definitely read it as it looked like it was funny. Hey, did you know that Goldie started her career in dancing? She was actually a dancer before she made it into her acting career! She also performed in Las Vegas way before she did stand-up at Laugh-In, etc..! Ellen was very surprised to hear 'coz she never knew about her performing in Vegas! Then, before she left, Goldie whined again about wanting to dance. So, always a good host as Ellen, she obliged & they both danced when the show went to a commercial break!

Ellen crashed another big star's music video shoot again!! Yup, this time the "victim" was none other than the gorgeous-looking Faith Hill, donning a brunnette hair this time!! Wow! Could hardly recognize her! She was doing a music video of her latest single on-stage. Ellen crashed the party and started fooling around with Faith and her posse! Then when Faith was singing, Ellen added her own background music (well, not exactly music, more like the usage of a music instrument!) with tiny clangings of the triangle instrument while running back and forth from one end to the stage to the other, much to Faith's delight! Faith was laughing at Ellen's utmost nuttiness hysterically! It was hilarious watching Ellen do all that silly stuff with a big celebrity! More of these segments on the show would be a HUGE plus, Ellen & Co.!! Good job!

Ellen welcomed back Jimmy Smits to the show for the 3rd time. Wow, that guy really supports Ellen, man! Bravo! Ellen immediately asked him if he was going to be elected as the President of the United States in his show, "West Wing," next season. Of 'coz Jimmy kept mummed about it! Then Ellen gave him a suprise gift - a pair of Ellen Briefs!! Yup, all this while, there were only Ellen Boxers. Now they've come up with Ellen briefs!!! Jimmy was speechless when he saw the briefs 'coz it looked pretty tiny! He then asked, "Which is the front, which is the back?" as he fidgeted around with the tiny briefs. Ellen looked at them, then looked at Jimmy & went, "..well, I don't know, you tell me...!" Loads of laughter from the crowd! Then Ellen asked if he was going to wear the briefs like what Martin Sheen has done with the Boxers he was given while he was on the show, who even wore 'em on "West Wing!" He didn't seem like he wanted to. Then Ellen compromised, "Would you wear them if you're elected as the President in the next season? " Jimmy jumped right into it & made the deal!!! Good sport, Jimmy!! As you may well know, Jimmy is also in the last installment of the legendary movie phenomenon, "Star Wars," the 3d installment of the prequel trilogy, "Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith," which has broken all records thusfar with its gargantuous opening weekend. Jimmy explained how he got a part in it which happened when he got a call from George Lucas. The first thing Lucas told him was that his role would not have a light sabre, just to clear the air in case Jimmy had a mind of asking about it! So, Ellen gave him another suprise gift - an exact replica of a light sabre that actually turns off & on, just like in Star Wars!! WOW!! Jimmy was absolutely delighted & couldn't believe it when he saw it! Ellen had her own one as well that had her favorite color - a blue illuminated light sabre! Both of them then did a brief sword duel with their light sabres! Fantabulous!! May the force be with you, Ellen!

The latest big name in country music, Grammy Award winner, Gretchen Wilson, performed her hit single, "Red Neck Woman." Her CD is called "Here For The Party."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen sees her show as a TV superstore - one-stop-shop 'coz there loads of stuff that viewers can get out of her show. This is to meet the needs of people who're always too busy nowadays. Then she digressed to discussing all the one-stop-shops out there now in the likes of the 99 cent stores, which even sells underwear for 99 cents now!! Wow!! Of 'coz she made a joke of it! Then she made fun of the gas station mini-marts that sell clothes now. She facetiously remarked that one must be a some special kinda dum-dum to be going to a mini-mart, pay for gas and then ask for a size 8 leather motorcycle vest!

Ellen welcomed Marcia Cross to the show & congratulated her for the continued success of her TV show, "Desperate Housewives." Nothing is stopping this show from getting more and more popular, not only in the U.S. but other countries as well! And Ellen reminded everyone that Marcia was also on another successful TV series before, "Melrose Place." Marcia told Ellen that she wasn't even thinking seriously about being on a TV series, let alone a successful one. She was actually on "Everwood" when she was offered the job on "Desperate Housewives." She revealed that she didn't audition for her present role on the show but that she really wanted to get the role of 'Mary Ellis' (the woman who mysteriously died in the 1st episode of the show, remember?), much to Ellen's surprise! Ellen was like, "You really wanted to play the role who gets killed on the 1st episode?!" Marcia laughed and nodded 'coz she wasn't even planning to be doing a TV show for long. Plus, she thought that if she got the role of 'Mary Ellis,' she wouldn't need to worry about dressing up & having make-up on-screen 'coz she would just be narrating off-screen & she'd be in her casual wear & no make-up! But then she got called back to audition over and over again and before she knew it, she was offered her current role! Ellen asked if she was like her character on the show, who's very neat & tidy. Marcia laughed and shook her head vigorously, saying that she's very messy in real life! She remembered one day, a delivery guy came by her house & saw the state of it, laughed and told her that she wasn't like her TV character in real life at all! So what did she do? Well, of 'coz she sent him on his way! That's why she loves playing her character because she's so unlike herself off-screen! Before winding up on "Desperate Housewives," she was on hiatus in acting for a while so she actually went back to school & got a Master's degree in Psychology! Wow!! She was even doing her clinical internship, with clients and all! Ellen was in disbelief & exclaimed, "You mean, you had clients & everything?!" and joked that her being on a TV show right now would freak out her ex-cilents who probably are exclaiming that Marcia wasn't actually a psychologist but only doing it to research for her TV role or something & would probably be taken away in straight jackets when they try to tell people that they were Marcia's clients before 'coz nobody would believe them now since Marcia's on TV and on a big TV show! That was funny & Marcia, by now, was laughing hysterically in embarrassment! Ellen then tried to get some scoop about the season finale this Sunday which Marcia was mummed about it & told her she's just gotta watch it to find out what the cliffhanger would be! Ellen joked & asked, "Am I in it?" Marcia responded while still giggling, "Well, you have to watch. It's a surprise!" Silly Ellen!

One thing worth mentioning is, Marcia mentioned that she's always been content with her life even if she wasn't acting, which admittedly, she had a bad decade in terms of her acting career. But she could always fall back to being a psychologist (since she has her degree) if things didn't go well in the acting department. Ellen agreed but joked that she probably wouldn't have any clients 'coz they'd think that she was doing yet another research for a sitcom or a TV show or something! Then, Ellen found out that Marcia used to do all sorts of performances like song-and-dance in her basement with her 2 girlfriends before she started her acting career, much to Marcia's embarrassment!! Of 'coz Ellen asked Marcia if she could show her some of her song-and-dance moves! Marcia was surprisingly a good sport 'coz the next thing we knew, she got up and demonstrated it with Ellen trying to follow her so-called choreography! But then she stopped short halfway through 'coz she got too embarrassed & then started hiding behind Ellen to get away from the cameras while Ellen reminded everyone to tune in to "Desperate Housewives" every Sunday at 9p on ABC!! Marcia was so funny & a great sport, surprisingly, I must say, unlike what the tabloids have made her out to be as a result of that Vanity Fair photo shoot hoopla - an insufferable diva! This goes to show that the tabloids & media always blow things out of proportion. Like what Felicity Huffman, Marcia's co-star, said when she was on Ellen, everyone was just waiting for some kind of controversy to happen among the 4 gorgeous women in a hugely popular show, so the slightest bit of argument or something occurring with any of the women, which is very common, like in a family situation, would be exaggerated and treated unfairly. It's this myth that women can never work together that's wagging the tongues of the media! Anyway, Ellen really made Marcia laugh so much, it was a delight to watch 'coz both had good chemistry together! Ellen was really having fun grinding Marcia all throughout the interview! Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

Carson Daly visited Ellen's show for the 2nd time, this time donning a neck brace!! The last time he was on the show, he was in crutches!! All these just to escape having to dance on the show!!! They talked about his talk show, "Last Call With Carson Daly," and how his mom's always on his show, laughing at practically every joke he attempts to tell, including the unfunny ones! His mom is still surprised to see his son on TV after so long! There was one time that he and his mom were on the plane and the in-flight program showed snippets of Carson's show. When his mom saw it, she was practically screaming with joy & of 'coz Carson was so embarrassed but didn't have anywhere else to hide 'coz by that time everyone was looking at him already!! Anyway...

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen was talking about the many animals that have ended up in her home's backyard again! But now that she's letting her 2 younger cats out in the backyard, she's getting concerned! She equated her backyard as a biosphere now!

Ellen welcomed back Ray Romano to the show. He just wrote a children's book along with his 2 brothers, believe it or not!! Wow, every celebrity seems to be writing children's books these day, aren't they? His book is based on his childhood growing up with his 2 brothers. The title of the book is, "Raymie, Dickie & The Bean: Why I Hate & Love My Brothers." Now that his 9-season sitcom, "Everybody Loves Raymond" is over this past Monday, Ray joked that he's got all the free time in the world now 'coz he's currently unemployed! Ellen mentioned that his wife must be relieved 'coz she always complained about the fact that Ray would use their real life relationship stories for the sitcom which egged him to do it even more every time she complained! He revealed that his wife would complain that he and his on-screen wife, 'Patty' (played by Patricia Heaton), would have so much more conversation than they ever did at home. Ray replied that it was because he had writers on the show, that was why! He went on to comment that he's found out 2 things that women want from their husbands - to pay attention to them all the time & when they go to sleep, their husbands should sketch them!! This revelation happened after something happened one night at home when Ray went to bed and saw that his wife was asleep already. So right away, he got a book to read. Then his wife woke up, saw him reading, & asked why they never talked anymore! Ray was like, "But you were asleep!" And his wife's reply? "So, you just got a book to read?! " Very funny! Ray's children (1 daughter & 2 twin sons) were in the audience. Ellen turned over to the boys to ask if they'd want to in the business like their dad which they nodded eagerly. Ray then told Ellen that they're actually ready for it already 'coz they apparently have an act they came up with. When he asked the boys to show Ellen what it was, they immediately grabbed their armpits & squeezed them to make those sounds, much to Ellen's amusement! Yup, Ray's boys will grow up to be comedians like their dad, that's for sure! The daughter was a little shy. Ray, like any other parent who start telling embarrassing stories about their kids, started to tell Ellen about his daughter - apparently, last Summer, when they were camping by the beach, she was swimming & suddenly she yelled out to Ray that one of her brothers just hugged her tightly while telling her that he was pee-ing! Eeeeeeewww!!! Disgusting!! But boys will be boys, eh? Before he left the show, Ray and Ellen played a game of golf in the backyard. Ray beat Ellen in the golf-hitting department. They were supposed to hit the balls into the jacuzzi & he hit many more into it than Ellen did! Then without warning, Ray's 2 boys rushed toward the jacuzzi and jumped right in!! Oh, those mischievous boys!!

James Denton from "Desperate Housewives" came on and of 'coz Ellen congratulated him for the success of the huge hit show. James revealed that while the show is successful and is sure to be renewed for next season, he wasn't sure about the guys in the show (since the major characters are the women, obviously!), though, including his character. Ellen tried to get him to reveal what the season finale's about but didn't get anywhere except that there's gonna be surprises, that's for sure! Ellen wished James the best of luck about recurring his role for next season. He mentioned that nobody would know until June when they get a one-page fax from the producers. So, let's see if James' plumber guy will return next season, eh? Until then, tune in to this Sunday's season finale of "Desperate Housewives" at 9p on ABC!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• It was the "IN THE PARK WITH ELLEN" show today!!! Yup, the entire show was made into an outdoorsy, mini-concert-like type right across the street from Ellen's studio - in the Johnny Carson Park!! The whole atmosphere was just fantabulous with over 2,000 people screaming & shouting, ecstatic to experience the talk show in open air, with the glorious sun shining!!! Ellen came on-stage with her shades on, very cool, very concert-like mood. Well, the show had to be held outdoors 'coz they had none other than one of the biggest superstars in the music industry, Gwen Stefani!! Ellen was very excited to have the show outdoors for the 1st time and she expressed that there should be more shows held outside. So, perhaps, next season, we'll see more of "In the Park with Ellen" shows, eh? That'd be simply marvelous & fans would love it, I'm sure!
• Guess what, the Mayor of Burbank was actually on the show!! Yup, he went on-stage to present Ellen with a giant key as a sign of welcoming Ellen & Co. to hold the show in Burbank! Very cool, indeed!!! Then she played some golf on-stage - well, she attempted to putt several golf balls toward the audience! The first one she hit went so off-base from the direction that she was aiming at, it was hilarious! The whole show was really like a big party 'coz not only were there so many people, there was a giant BBQ going on as well! Bravo, Ellen, for taking your show outside! And a big "holla" to Old Navy who sponsored the entire outdoor show!!!

Without further ado, Ellen welcomed Gwen Stefani & entourage to perform her first song, which is the nation's #1 single, "Hollaback Girl". Wow, it was like a concert performance, with all her dancers strutting on-stage!! It was simply amazing!! The crowd couldn't get enough of it!

Ellen then welcomed Kirstie Alley to the show for the 1st time! Kirstie came on behaving just like her character on Showtime's popular but controversial series, "Fat Actress." She was practically stumbling onto the stage! She is a very funny lady, I have to say. Ellen mispronounced her name 'coz she thought Kirstie was pronounced as "Keerstie" instead of "Kirstie" like "thirsty" which the comic actress clarified and cleared up the misunderstanding. However, later, Ellen still called her "Keerstie"!!! Poor Ellen, always mispronouncing people's names, for some reason! They talked about what Kirstie used to do before she became an actress. Did you know that she used to be a lifeguard?? For EIGHT long years!!! Goodness! She confessed that she became a lifeguard to meet guys! Kirstie also recently wrote a book about losing weight, which is in stores right now. She's lost about 35 lbs, so far, by just dancing and doing cardio workout. She's a good dancer! So Ellen asked her to teach her the Kansas move, which was basically twirling your hips along with your hands. Ellen tried to follow her moves, but stopped short when it came to some serious hip-twirling moment! Before she left, she and Ellen played a game of hitting the button that'd make Houston fall into the water. Kirstie couldn't hit the lever with the ball so she cheated! She ran to the lever & pushed it with her hands & before you know it, Houston fell into the water, splashing water all over the place!!

Gwen came on to have a little chat with Ellen. Ellen was raving about how great a dancer she was and was very grateful to Gwen for appearing on the show since she's been trying to get the superstar on for a long while now. Apparently, Gwen was scheduled to appear on the show a while ago but unfortunately, she was too busy and got sick which Gwen confessed that it bummed her out very much. Ellen remarked that today was the perfect day for her to appear on the show since it was a much bigger show than in the studio 'coz Gwen got to perform like in a concert outdoors! Ellen then raved about Gwen's solo album 'coz she really loved every single song on the CD! You got that right, Ellen! Gwen told her that she's planning to write a few more songs so she could put another CD out for Christmas! Wow, COOL!!! The audience, a lot of them Gwen's fans, screamed with delight at that announcement! Ellen then announced that Gwen would be performing another song at the end of the show, another hit, "Rich Girl ," along with Eve!! Wow, the performance was fantastic!!! Hail to Gwen Stefani!! Hail to Ellen!!

Wanda Sykes made her 2nd visit to the show, much to Ellen's excitement. Ellen obviously likes Wanda very much, raving about just how funny she is! She then congratulated Wanda for being on the #1 movie in America, "Monster-In-Law." Ellen asked what her experience was in working with the legendary Jane Fonda. Wanda was obviously intimidated, 'coz hey, her last movie was "Pootie Tang," so, what a difference, huh?!!! Ellen also found out that Jane really enjoyed working with Wanda and had expressed interest in doing a movie with the wise-cracking lady!! Ellen also expressed her utmost interest in doing a movie with Wanda as well. Wow, how cool is that, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was all about her featured on the covers of 3 magazines - Life magazine, which is out now, Allure which will be out next week, & L.A. Magazine which is also out. She had 2 of her magazine covers enlarged to show everyone during her monologue. One of them was her face on the cover of Allure, which she was very flattered when she was asked to be on it especially when Allure is a beauty magazine. The picture of her on Allure's cover was...wow, hardly recognizable, with all the glitter & glam!!! Yup, guess that's why they call it a "beauty" magazine 'coz everything looks perfect!! Not a sign of blemish or wrinkle in sight! Of 'coz Ellen made comments about that. Then she explained about being on the cover of L.A. magazine which branded her the funniest person in L.A. - very flattering to her, of 'coz! But then she went on to say that the magazine also has a caricature of her inside the magazine, which she has always thought that caricatures are not flattering at all!! And so true 'coz the caricature of her was hilarious - head way too big, and a big mouth wide open, to Ellen's dismay!!! Anyway, if you guys wanna see these pictures for yourselves, go check out these 3 magazines at the newsstands near you!

Ellen was very excited to welcome back Britney Spears, this time, along with her hubby, Kevin Federline, to the show!! And Ellen kept repeating that it was the first time ever that Britney and Kevin were in an interview together on TV, and they picked Ellen's show to appear on TV - good for Ellen & Co!! So, can't blame Ellen for saying that all throughout the show 'coz she was obviously very proud that Britney & Kevin chose her show to be on & she kept on thanking them!! Britney didn't look very pregnant yet 'coz her tummy was hardly showing but you could tell that she's pregnant, though. Ellen congratulated them and started asking about how they met, the marriage proposal, the relentless paparazzi that would never leave them alone, which Ellen, on several occasions during the interview, expressed her utter amazement and awe at how Britney & Kevin handle the in-your-face cameras. Britney explained that instead of trying to get away from the paparazzi, she decided to just welcome them in to take pictures & just adapt to constant cameras following them everywhere they go. That's an effective tactic, much less pressure or stress, I guess. Well, we found out that these 2 met in a night club, and it was Britney who first proposed but Kevin declined because he wanted to be the one to propose! Whatever.. Then they talked about the baby and Ellen suggested that they should come up with a very unique name for him/her and should think about topping the other celebrities' in naming their babies in terms of using some interesting names, which some might call, "abusive" 'coz some of those names would probably be a problem for the kids when they grow up, you know what I mean? Anyway, the 2 lovebirds also have a new reality show on UPN, premiering tonight, called "Chaotic," which is something like 'Newlyweds," chronicling their personal lives. So, if you're into watching celebrities' private lives on TV, then you can check out "Chaotic" on UPN every Tuesday night, then.

Ellen then presented Britney & Kevin with lots of baby gifts including baby diapers, towels, & a baby pram, similar to the one that she gave to Gwyneth Paltrow except that it was decorated with bling-blings, much to Britney's delight! Oh, and by the way, Ellen actually invited herself to become the baby's godmother! Well, the baby's one lucky thing 'coz obviously he or she would be showered with lots of gifts from Ellen all the time, eh?

Backstreet Boys performed their new single, "Incomplete," before sitting down to have a little chat with Ellen. Ellen, of 'coz had to ask what they'd been doing during their 5-year hiatus. Obviously a lot had happened, like one went to rehab, another released a solo album, and another became a dad & so on. Apparently, they decided to get away from each other after 9 years of performing and touring. So it was a good break for them. And now they're back with their new CD that they're promoting. At the end of the show, they performed their classic hit, "I Want It That Way," which they dedicated to Ellen! Cool!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about different types of winking and their meanings. She confessed that she's not a winker, though, 'coz she's always felt that winking is used for flirting purposes, primarily. But when she demonstrated the few types, she did it pretty well!

Remember Ellen's little stint at Jennifer Lopez's music video shoot? Well, this time, she finally got Jennifer Lopez to come on her show, much to her delight and excitement! Jennifer came on and told Ellen that she's a big fan of the show. She & hubby, Marc Anthony, watch the show all the time - they actually TiVO it all week so that they can have an Ellen marathon! That's cool! Ellen asked about her new married life and how she & Marc are holding up. She tried very hard to keep mum about her private life with Marc but let one slip out when Ellen asked what they do when they're at home. One could see that Jennifer likes to air her private life in public but due to recent backlash and all, she's making an effort to keep her private life private, including Marc's - thank goodness! Ellen congratulated her for her 1-year wedding anniversary. She's now promoting her new movie, "Monster-In-Law," which opens in theatres this Friday. The movie co-stars the legendary Jane Fonda. Ellen asked if she was intimidated by the legend which Jennifer expressed that she had fun with Jane but that she had to endure a lot of hits by Jane 'coz of the movie! In the movie, Jane plays her mother-in-law who's very abusive to her. Before Jennifer showed Ellen some cooking tips, Ellen presented her with a house-warming gift & guess what it was? It was the hilarious picture of her prom night all framed up beautifully. Jennifer was beside herself when she saw the blown-up photo, joking that it was perfect for her home decor!

Ellen & Jennifer had a cooking moment, yup! FYI, Jennifer owns a restaurant, so for today's little cookery segment, she had her restaurant's chef on the show to demonstrate her favorite dish which I can't remember the name of it, for the life of me! Anyway, it's a Latin dish thats' a combination of beef, onions, pepper, spices, etc.. Ellen tried to make it but of 'coz, as usual, she screwed it up! Oh, one funny thing about this cookery segment is that the chef spoke no English so Jennifer had to translate. But then, most of the time, she would be talking to his chef in Spanish among themselves, leaving Ellen standing there like, "You'd better not be talking about me! " 'coz Jennifer was too pre-occupied with her conversation with her chef that she didn't translate! Poor Ellen!

Ellen welcomed Omar Epps to the show. He's in an absolutely cool and popular hit show, "House," on Fox now. First things first, Ellen immediately thanked Omar for his gifts - he gave her some cool-looking tennis shoes backstage, which Ellen really liked. Omar explained that he watches the show and always see Ellen wearing those cool tennis shoes which are like his taste of shoes. So he decided to get her some! Oh, how sweet! Ellen then asked him about his role in "House," which is a medical show, if it's difficult to learn the lines because of all the medical jargons. Omar explained that he was actually on "ER" for 10 episodes, which he was grateful about 'coz that was like his training for his role in "House." Omar's mom is an educator so when he wanted to be in acting, she wasn't very impressed until she saw him in his debut movie, "Juice." You can catch Omar in action as one of the doctors in "House" on Tuesday nights at 9p on FOX.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today was a Special Prom show in honor of the Prom Season! So, naturally, Ellen's monologue was all about the prom. The HUGE photo of Ellen & her prom date, Richard Reynolds, was right on the stage floor as part of Ellen's monologue! Well, you have to see the picture in order to fully understand just how ridiculously funny she looked - yes, she wore a dress!! Ellen made fun of her prom dress, of 'coz. She mentioned that she'd never worn dresses before, probably the only time was for the prom night! And her prom dress was a plaid polyester, which she thought, at that time, that it'd be timeless!! Little did she know, then, & now Ellen's obviously very embarrassed about it! Wow, I raise my hat to Ellen for having her embarrassing prom night photo enlarged for everyone to see!! She did look a little uncomfortable talking about it, though.
• It was a PROM show today! Yes, 'tis the time where all high school kids are busy with their upcoming prom. So, Ellen dedicated today's show in celebration of the prom season. The students whom Ellen invited to her show yesterday had their prom on the show today as Ellen had promised! The entire Riff-Raff room was transformed into a dance floor for the kids to have their prom there & Tony D.J.ed for them - way cool!

Ellen's first guest was none other than Mariah Carey who came on wearing a provocative-looking, unbuttoned suit outfit, much to Ellen's amazement! Later we found out that the suit actually belonged to Ellen! Yup, apparently, Mariah was supposed to wear her prom dress but at the last minute, she changed her mind. So she went up to Ellen, asking if she could borrow something to wear from Ellen. Mariah was grateful that Ellen was nice enough to have her browse through her wardrobe and fished out the one that she was wearing! Ellen looked at Mariah dressed in Ellen's own suit (obviously when it's Mariah, it's always minimal clothing, even with a suit, so she only wore the suit with nothing underneath!) & said, "I've never worn it like THAT!! When I said you can borrow a suit, I also said a dress shirt!" Anyway, they proceeded to talk about Mariah's prom night experience, which wasn't very pleasant, unfortunately, 'coz Mariah didn't get to be the prom queen! She did help raise funds for the prom celebration with the help of her boyfriend at that time who was a club bouncer! Despite all that effort, she didn't make prom queen, poor thing! So, Ellen handed Mariah her tiara to wear, just as a consolation! While Mariah was appreciative but wouldn't wear it & got Ellen to wear it instead! Ellen congratulated her for her new CD that reached #1 in the Billboard Charts in its first week. She also marveled at how amazing Mariah is 'coz not only is her voice great but she also writes her own songs - all of them! Then Ellen presented her with a gift basket full of prom goodies which Mariah never got during her prom night! Mariah couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the goodies (i.e. key chains, barbie doll, etc..) She then sang a song from her new CD. Later on in the show, Mariah sang the prom kids' theme song in the Riff-Raff room!! How cool was that? Didn't know Mariah Carey could be such a good sport! Bravo, Ms. Carey!

Taye Diggs came on looking as cool as ever. Ellen joked that she nearly wore what he was wearing today! Yes, Taye was wearing something that we've seen Ellen wore in many shows! Ellen congratulated him for the success of his new show on UPN called, "Kevin Hill" but wonder how his wife thought of it since Taye makes out with virtually every gal in the show! Taye defended his wife, by saying that she's a very secure woman & as long as he makes up something, like, say something negative about his female co-stars every night he goes home, everything's cool!!! Awwww, bad boy!! Ellen asked about his prom night and he said that he had 3 proms that he went to!! My gosh!! Taye was apparently a very busy high school kid with the girls, eh? Then he showed Ellen some dance moves that he did at his prom, which looked very MJ-ish. His proms were in 1988 and 1989.

The moment of truth arrived when Ellen introduced her prom date to the show!! Richard Reynolds came on looking COMPLETELY & UTTERLY different from the prom photo!!! Ellen mentioned that she hadn't seen him in years so she couldn't help looking a little taken aback with the difference! They were doing a little catching up on the show. Ellen admitted that she couldn't remember how their prom night was but Richard did! He told Ellen that his mom always kept that small prom picture but then over the years as Ellen got more & more famous, the picture grew bigger & bigger, hanging on the wall of his mom's house!! Ellen asked Richard if they ever dated 'coz she couldn't remember. He revealed that they actually did & was surprised that Ellen couldn't remember any of it!! Ellen did admit that when she first saw him, she was instantly attracted to him and went up to talk to him. Then they dated. Richard also revealed that he was so surprised to see Ellen in a dress at their prom 'coz he'd never seen her in any dress before the prom night!! Now, bear in mind that all throughout this little reunion between Ellen & her prom date-cum- ex-boyfriend, Ellen was looking a little uncomfortable with the interview... Anyway, at the end of the show, Ellen & Richard re-enacted their prom photo when they wore the same outfits as the photo!! Oh my gosh!!! The screams of laughter when Ellen walked out with the plaid polyester dress, looking oh so "draggy," if you catch my drift...!! She never looked more uncomfortable, that poor woman!! I guess she'd do just about anything for her show, eh? Bravo, Ellen!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about mooning and getting mooned! She remembered Lauren Graham's last visit when she talked about getting mooned on the freeway very often wheras Ellen herself had never been mooned, ever! So today, she was trying to analyze the whole act of mooning people. She thought that there probably are different kinds of mooning. For instance, if someone moons you with the windows up, it's probably called "pressed ham"!! Loads of laughter from the audience! Then she said, if she were to be mooned with the windows up, she'd have to call it "pressed ham with rye"!!! Guffaw! Guffaw! She continued on saying that while she's never been mooned, she's definitely been "half-moon"-ed by people squatting over in their low-rise pants! Now, if you get mooned when a farmer bends down to get his crop, it's probably called "harvest moon" but if you fall in love with someone who moons you, it's probably called "total eclipse of the heart"!!! Hilarious, indeed!!
• It's the prom season in high schools all over the country now. Ellen invited a group of high school students from a school whose students are under threat of missing their prom due to the school's lack of funds. The students had tried to raise enough funds to organize their school's prom but only managed a mere $700. So, Ellen & Co. gave them a great surprise - the show's gonna give them a prom on the show tomorrow & will pay for everything including the catering (forget chips - they'll have proper food!), Tony as their DJ, the venue, their prom attire AND all of them would have dinner at Hard Rock Cafe tonight and would be going to a cool night club in LA to continue their prom night after the "formal" one on the show tomorrow!!!! WOWWWWW!!!! The students were simply ecstatic, some of them even cried!!!! How cool was Ellen & Co. to do such a lovely thing for all those students, huh?! Lucky 'em!! But the biggest surprise that literally shocked the students was when Ellen announced that Mariah Carey would be singing for them at their prom on the show tomorrow!! How very cool is that, eh?
• Ellen has been teasing everyone about showing her bad prom photo all week and today, she finally revealed it (a giant-sized photo) but not before showing prom photos that she told viewers to send her! She actually teased everyone all throughout the show & didn't reveal it until the very end of the hour!! Sneaky lil' host, ain't she? And when she finally revealed it, OH MY GOD!!!! Poor Ellen!! No wonder she was reluctant to show it off in the first place! She did warn us that in retrospect, she was having a major fashion disaster when she thought her prom dress actually looked good at that time!! Well, it's always difficult to look at our old photos that reveal outdated fashion, isn't it? But what a good sport of Ellen to show it to everybody, eh?
• Ellen made an announcement which was also a surprise to her since she only got wind of it - apparently Britney Spears and her hubby, Kevin, will be on the show next Tuesday!! So, all ye Britney fans out there, don't miss Tuesday's show!

Matt LeBlanc returned to the show (for the 3rd time?) and talked about the act of mooning, which he admitted that he'd done before when he was younger!! Ellen then showed Matt's high school photo (no, he didn't bring his prom photo) which didn't look bad at all. He's obviously been destined to become an actor with that absolutely gorgeous look even at a tender age!! Then he and Ellen went to the backyard to have a tractor race. Man, Ellen is always so competitive and so eager to win all the time! This time, she cheated by spraying Matt with fake whipped cream (those spray-stuff that you use at parties that I can't seem to remember what it's called, for the life of me!) while racing. Then by the end of it, Matt was slightly ahead but he slowed down so that both of them reached the finish line together. And of 'coz Ellen cried foul, accused Matt of cheating & happily took the trophy given to her!!! Gosh, Ellen, lighten up! Let your guests win once in a while, will ya?! It's a good thing we have equally competitive guests like Allison Janney to "sit on" Ellen's competitive ego since she'd never let the host go scott-free with her "cheating" tactics to declare a win, that's for sure! Great fun to see Ellen competing (with hilarious unfairness!) with her guests especially with Ms. Hilarious, Allison Janney!! Catch Matt in action in "Joey" airing on Thursdays at 8p on NBC.

Ellen welcomed Doug Savant from "Desperate Housewives" to the show. Ellen found out that he's actually born & bred in Burbank, of all places!! Doug confirmed it and told Ellen that his folks live only a block or two away from the NBC Studios where Ellen's show is taped! Wow, that's rare to find a celebrity who's actually from Burbank! Doug revealed that he used to deliver pizzas even after he became an actor and appearing on numerous TV shows and films! So, when people recognized him at their door with their ordered pizzas, it was a good & bad thing for Doug - bad is 'coz he was obviously out of an acting job, & good 'coz people would immediately feel sorry for him & tipped him very well!! Then out of the blue, in came the plumber guy from "Desperate Housewives" (can't remember his real name), posed as a pizza delivery guy & handed the pizza to Doug who proceeded to give him a $100 tip!! It was an attempt to joke about poor Doug's situation when he was a pizza delivery boy-cum- struggling actor!! Well, he needn't have to worry about it now 'coz he's in the nation's top-rated show on TV!! Anyway, is it just us or Doug stuttered a lot when he was talking? Perhaps he was just nervous being interviewed on the show, eh? He was adorable, though.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen was talking about suffering from insomnia lately where she gets up in the wee hours of the morning, staring at the ceiling, thinking of ways to get back to sleep, except that they made it worse for her! Don't know about you but has the monologue gone shorter and shorter lately? Hmmm..
• Yesterday, Ellen mentioned that she'd be having her prom date on the show later this week and requested people to send her bad prom photos before she revealed hers! Today, while she still wouldn't show us her prom photo, she did show us what her prom date looked like! She then urged people to send her their bad prom photos before she reveals hers! So, be sure to check out all the shows this week to meet Ellen's prom date, ok?
• Remember the couple on Ellen's "Valentine's Day" special show - where the guy proposed to her long-time girlfriend? Well, they were on the show today and Ellen asked when they'd get married. They've been engaged for 4 months now. The girl told Ellen that their wedding would probably be sometime in May next year but then quickly asked Ellen to choose a date that's the most convenient for her! Imagine that, huh? While Ellen refused to be the couple's bridesmade, she did say she wants to attend the wedding. And she then gave the couple a huge surprise - Ellen's show will be footing the bill of the entire wedding plus their honeymoon!!! WOW!! Talk about being generous!! In addition, Ellen will be taking the whole audience to Kentucky where the couple wants to carry out their wedding ceremony. So obviously, Ellen wants to do the show overe in Kentucky!! Very cool, indeed! The couple could hardly believe their ears and thanked Ellen profusely!!

Ellen was reading a letter from a viewer who recently met Martin Sheen. As you know, Martin sent a couple of pictures of him wearing the Ellen Boxers on the set of his show, "West Wing," (what a good sport he is, eh?). So when this viewer saw Martin, the 1st thing she asked him was whether he was wearing his Ellen Boxers! Martin was obviously caught off-guard for a minute but then replied that he was indeed wearing them at that moment!! And she took a picture of him revealing the Ellen Boxers - the picture was sent to Ellen along with her letter which Ellen was reading today. Then out of nowhere, Martin Sheen in person, showed up on the show & gave Ellen a surprise!!!! Wow!! We sure didn't see that coming, eh? So, Ellen gave him a surprise, too. She found out that Martin only has 2 pairs of Ellen Boxers (he came on the show twice, so far), and he's been wearing them, apparently all the time, so she gave him new pairs of Ellen Boxers for the other 5 days of the week! Martin was very happy about it! Good ol' Ellen! Good sport, Martin!

Simon Cowell came on and he and Ellen started talking about "American Idol" when she asked him who he thought was going to win this time. He mentioned a name (Carrie? Or Kathie?) which I can't remember but he was pretty sure that she'd be in the final. Ellen then asked him about the recent controversy surrounding the cast off guy (can't remember his name) and Paula Abdul. Like Felicity Huffman yesterday when Ellen asked her about the "Desperate Housewives" off-screen catfight, basically shrugged off the so-called controversy and told Ellen that it was obviously a publicity stunt on that cast-off guy's part 'coz he's releasing his new CD, which Simon immediately, without any qualms, trashed his singing talent. He continued that when ABC aired the exclusive interview with the cast-off guy, he and Paula were actually watching it on TV together. During the airing of the interview, Simon & Paula just looked at each other and laughed at such lies that ABC was so gullible to accept as a fact. Then the subject was dropped & Ellen asked Simon about a classical group that Simon discovered after 3 years of searching for 4 opera singers from around the world. This group was then given a contract and they've just started to tour around the world. Ellen announced that they'll be on the show soon. Simon was obviously very proud of this group 'coz he and his associates worked real hard to get the ideal group that they were looking for. Wow, opera singers! Let's see how they do when they come on Ellen's show!

Jane Kaczmareck, whom Ellen called "the original Desperate Housewife", came on looking as jovial as always. Ellen asked if she ever wanted to be in the pageant contests while she was a kid. Jane meekly said that while she'd wanted to but knew that she was a big Polish girl! But, she and her friends would use to play pageant queens in the basement of Jane's house. Jane explained all the other things that they used to do in the basement, like play horse. And before we knew it, she was explaining the play horse game in great detail! Then Ellen asked if Jane had a bad prom photo to share and asked her to share her prom night memories. Jane remembered that here parents were veru happy to have a prom date but something happened to her - apparently when she paraded downstair in her parents' home, Her mom immediately told her to go wear a bra!!!! Of 'coz, being an obedient Catholic school girl, she did & got her 1-size-fits-all bra. But then later that night, her mom got a call from the dad of her prom date, saying that Jane had left her bra in the glove compartment of his car!! She quickly explained that there wasn't any hanky panky but she took off her bra becausee it didn't sit well with her prom dress!! How funny!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today, Ellen was very excited to talk about her weekend trip to Las Vegas to celebrate Mother's Day with her mom and the entire audience from Friday! What a great trip it must've been, eh? So the whole adventure was shown to us in 3 different segments throughout today's show. The funniest moment was when the bus carrying all the mothers (Friday show's audience) broke down on the way to Vegas!!! But nothing could dampen the utter excitement that they were feeling. They were so very grateful to Ellen for doing such a great thing for them! When they reached Caesar's Palace, they were greeted by men dressed up in Roman attire and the celebratory red carpet! Wow, what a VIP treatment indeed! In the evening, at a place called Margaritaville, we saw Ellen entering the restaurant to greet them all. Then they were at Spago's where Wolfgang Puck greeted all of them. Cool, eh? Thereafter, we saw Ellen and the whole gang in the casino playing slots, Black Jack and Roulette!
• The biggest moment was when Ellen took them to see Celine Dion right before her show started. Wow, good ol' Celine came on-stage to talk to them right before her show and gave special attention to the grandmother whose dream was to meet Celine and see her perform! Then during the show, Celine went up to the grandmother and presented her with a rose!! How cool was that!! Bravo, Ellen & bravo, Celine!! The grandmother along with her granddaughter came on the show today and had a little chat with Ellen. The grandmother was so touched and grateful to Ellen, telling her that she's made so many people laugh every day and she'd never forget her once- in-a-lifetime experience in Las Vegas. Awwwwww!!!

Funny man, Martin Short, stopped by to talked with Ellen. He told Ellen his first experience in Las Vegas when he got hooked with the gambling, unbeknownst to his wife!! He was so determined to win something that he used up all $300 that he & his wife agreed to spend in the casino! But lucky him, he won $1500!!! But then, Martin revealed that he never won ever since! Then he showed Ellen his childhood photo where he posed without his shirt on at 13, sitting beside his parents. And man, the look he had, he was destined to be Jimminy Glick, his alter-ego on TV!! Now, he has a movie coming out, "Jimminy Glick Goes to La-La-Wood"!!

Ellen welcomed Ellen Pompeo to the show. FYI, she's friends with Ellen's DJ, Tony!! Apparently, both of them go way back. They used to share an apartment!! They were roommates!! Ellen jokingly asked if they ever dated while living together. No, they didn't 'coz she and Tony had been very close so she treated him as her brother. She even screened all his girlfriends that he brought over the apartment! Now, Pompeo has a boyfriend whom she met at a grocery store, imagine that! Judging by what Pompeo was explaining to Ellen, she must be a fan of grocery stores 'coz she's always buying stuff there! You can catch Ellen Pompeo in the new hit show, "Grey's Anatomy" on Sundays.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen has a cat problem! Yup, one of her cats, is now pee-ing all over the down comforter! So, she got rid of it but now the cat's pee-ing wherever she sees any blanket or something! So, Ellen made a plea to anyone out there who can help her cat stop pee-ing in places she's not supposed to!

Ellen welcomed back Felicity Huffman to the show and immediately congratulated her for the huge success of "Desperate Housewives" which is, like an American phenomenon now!! It's being shown in many countries. Felicity told Ellen that one day a person from Croatia came up to her and told her how Croatia loves the show!! Ellen was suprised to hear that "Desperate Housewives" is even being shown in Croatia!! Wow! That must be exciting for the whole cast & crew of the hit show! Ellen asked Felicity the obvious question - about the recent hoopla about the cast not getting along, stemming from the Vanity Fair shoot. Felicity just scoffed at it saying that she wasn't surprised about the rumor 'coz with the huge success of the show, everyone and the media have been wanting to shake things up and spreading rumors that the women on the show are not getting along. She went on to say that they all get along and left it at that. Good and very professional response, Felicity! Let's leave these women alone, eh?

Ellen then congratulated her for winning the Best Actress Award at the recent Tribeca Film Festival for "Trans America" where she played a transgendered woman. Felicity told Ellen the dilemma that she was going through with the rolel 'coz she had to play a man who's had a sex change to become a woman. So she interviewed & talked to some transgendered people, went to the Transgendered convention & talked to a bunch of them just to give her a sense of a transgendered lifestyle. She really wanted to do her character justice in portraying the subculture as accurately and respectful as she possibly could. Ellen showed a clip of the movie & wow, Felicity really looked like a transgendered woman, not only how she looked but how she sounded too - low-pitched voice that you know her character used to be a man! Fantastic! Will actually check out the movie when it comes out on DVD!

• A special segment - this time, Ellen visited a bartending school to make a commencement speech!! It was so funny when she entered the school donning the graduation robe!!! There was a qualification test where each student had to make different bar drinks as requested by their instructor, all within a set amount of time. One of them made such a mess & dropped things, Ellen just sat there & laughed her heart out! That poor student! Must be daunting to be filmed while Ellen would try to talk to her & pass the test!!

The legendary Neil Diamond came on and performed "Coming To America". He also had a little chat with Ellen, of 'coz. The first thing that Ellen asked him was how he came to wearing the now famous dress shirts that are always glittery & shiny & colorful! Neil explained that he just thought they looked good the 1st time around & never looked back! The show then finished off with another performance by Neil, this time he sang "Cherry Cherry."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• It was a Special Mother's Day show today!!!!! Today's show was all about giving back to all the mothers out there! The audience was filled with, like, 100 mothers! Wow!! Ellen came out with her mom, Betty, looking all excited, 'coz she had a big surprise for the audience today that you could see she could hardly contain the secret! Apparently, before today's show, Ellen & Co. had told the audience members who would be attending today's show to pack a suitcase with them because 1 lucky mother in the audience would win a trip to somewhere for the weekend in celebration of Mother's Day. What they didn't know was that Ellen had another surprise for everyone! This wasn't revealed until the end of the show (of 'coz!). And Ellen urged everyone to remember to call their moms this Sunday.

Ellen invited Paris Hilton and her mom, Kathy, to the show to celebrate Mother's Day with her and Betty. Both Ellen & Paris are very close to their moms so they played a game to test how well they knew their moms. It was a game to test Ellen & Paris' knowledge of their moms' past. It was so funny 'coz the first thing to guess was whether Betty or Kathy had always thought that their hair was the best thing they loved about themselves. Ellen immediately thought it was Kathy but it turned out to be Betty! Ellen looked at her mom & was like, "But you always complain about your hair! " Betty just shrugged her shoulders mischievously, to Ellen's chagrin! Then Ellen presented Betty & Kathy baskets of goodies. Cool!

Mekhi Phifer came on the show for the 2nd time, this time bringing his mom with him as well! He was raving about how proud he was of his mom for bringing him up as a single mother, teaching him everything he needed to know to become the person that he is now. Her mom came on & started boogie-ing away with Ellen! Very cool, indeed! She was a teacher before for 25 years & has recently retired. Ellen presented her with a Mother's Day gift - a diamond necklace courtesy of Kay's Jewelry!! And the whole audience also got a necklace each!! Talk about Generous Ellen, there, eh?

• Then it was time to pick the lucky winner who'd win a trip somewhere for the weekend! Ellen revealed that the winner would be spending the weekend in Las Vegas - getting pampered & a chance to shop & gamble at Caesar's Palace!! Wow!! But then, before Ellen picked the winner, she suddenly said, "Oh what the heck, everyone here will be leaving for Las Vegas today!!" WOWWW!!!!! There was an eruption of cheers & screaming from the audience at this piece of surprising news!! And... Ellen will also be going with them along with Betty!!! Double WOW!!! Lucky audience, man!
• Yet another fabulous thing Ellen did today - she made a person's dream come true! Yup, apparently a woman wrote Ellen a letter about her grandmother who's had 3 heart attacks and didn't know how much longer she'd be with around. And she'd always wanted to see Celine Dion. So, what did Ellen do? She got Celine to talk to the lucky but very shocked mother via satellite, inviting her to attend her Vegas show at Caesar's Palace AND would personally take her on an exclusive backstage tour!!!!! The mom & the daughter were both in the audience. Ellen was with them & the mom was so overwhelmed with all these that she couldn't stop sobbing & hugging Ellen!! Ellen got very emotional & was 1 step from sobbing herself but she got through the show! Good job, Ellen!! She sure made a lot of people happy & grateful today!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• IT'S CINCO DE MAYO TODAY!!!! Happy Cinco de Mayo to everyone who's celebrating it out there! Well, if you live in California, particularly in Southland, you'll know that Cinco de Mayo is a big celebratory day for everyone, even if you're not Mexican! If you don't live in this part of the country (California), then today's just another normal day for y'all. Anyway, it was a Cinco de Mayo show today. She even greeted everyone in Spanish! For those of you who don't know what it means, Cinco de Mayo means 5th of May. Ellen pointed out that this year's Cinco de Mayo is very special because it's actually 05-05-05!! How freaky is that, eh? As Ellen noted, this 05-05-05 "phenomenon" won't happen for another 1,000 years when most of us won't be here to celebrate it. So indeed today was special! Cinco de Mayo is a day of eating. Yup, lots of good Mexican food to chow down!
• In celebration of Cinco de Mayo, Ellen's Backyard was decorated with Mexican stuff, including the piñata, delicious Mexican food courtesy of El Torito's, & the El Mariachi band!! Ellen commented that perhaps the audience in the studio would prefer to be Riff-Raffers now'coz everyone in the Backyard seemed to be having a whole lot of fun, let's not forget the forever crowded jacuzzi!!

Ellen played the Mystery Word with Brendan Fraser today, which was "shaving cream." Ellen welcomed back Brendan Fraser to the show. Ellen asked about his baby who's 9 months' old now (I think!). He then showed Ellen a picture of his baby, Holden, lying on a fluffy blanket with his naked butt showing! Then, Brendan revealed that the pose apparently ran in the family. He showed Ellen his baby photo where he posed just like Holden, lying on his stomach with his naked butt facing up! And then came the ultimate one - a baby picture of his dad in the same pose as Holden & Brendan!! Wow, 3 generations of baby booty posing, eh? Impressive, indeed! It took Brendan no time at all to guess the mystery word. Then they talked briefly about Brendan's new movie, "Crash," which has a star-studded cast including Sandra Bullock, Matt Dillon, Don Cheadle, Ryan Philippe, among others. It's a very controversial film which dares to confront the issues that nobody wants to talk about - racism & social stereotypes of certain ethnic groups that unfortunately we as humans tend to possess within our inner psyches. In this case, it's all happening in Los Angeles. This movie is directed by Canadian-born Paul Haggis, better known for his work as a writer than a director. He also penned the Oscar-winning "Million Dollar Baby." Brendan had fun making this movie & was very excited about it. He plays husband to Sandra Bullock's character in the movie.

Carmen Electra came on & started dancing with Ellen! Ellen congratulated her for moving into her new home (well, it's been 2 years!) which has been featured in "In Style" magazine. Carmen revealed that the house wasn't what she originally expected to move into. Meaning, she moved into the wrong house! But she's gotten used to it since then, so she likes it now. Wow, never heard of anyone moving into the wrong house! Anyway.. Ellen then led her to Ellen's Backyard to show Ellen some sexy, striptease dance moves - but no stripping, of 'coz! The funniest bit was, halfway making the dance moves, Ellen's mom, Betty, came up to them & started dancing as well, stripping off her cardigan!! Woooooo!!! What a good sport Betty is, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about having positive energy all the time so we can always feel good about ourselves & around us. She told us that she recently watched a movie called, "What The Bleep Do We Know" which talked about how people can create a positive energy to ward off the negativity; how our thoughts create what we see or experience. So if our thoughts are negative, what we see or experience will surely be negative. Hmmm, very philosophical... She mentioned one example in the movie - the test was putting a few thousand Buddhist monks in D.C., which is the murder capitol of the U.S. And the crime rate was reduced more than 20%!!! Wow, now that's amazing! FYI, "What The Bleep Do We Know" is a documentary discussin quantum physics in general.
• Remember Ellen's apology to Brittany Murphy for calling her a liar 'coz she didn't believe that Brittany actually started talking when she was 4 1/2 months' old? And then, she was sent a video clip of an 11-week-old baby speaking (he called out his own name, "Alan" on cue!) by a viewer which she showed us the clip last week! Now, the famous baby Alan & his parents were on the show! Ellen was still so amazed at the notion that babies that young could actually utter audible words!! Unfortunately, baby Alan didn't say anything when he was on the show! His mom told Ellen that he was saying "boom" backstage when he saw the boom (the hairy overhead mic)! Now, how about inviting Brittany Murphy back to the show to talk about this, eh, Ellen? Just a thought...!

Ellen welcomed Matt Dillon to the show for the very 1st time! You know him from such classic movies like "The Outsiders," "Drugstore Cowboy," "Something About Mary." Matt came on looking not a day older than he's always looked 20 years ago!!! Ellen was amazed & just stared at him, speechless! I guess he's one of those lucky people who don't age, eh? Matt shared his bad experience with the helicopter story with everyone. He just got back from Norway, actually. Anyway, he told Ellen that he had to ride a helicopter from Oslo to Stockholm to attend a talk show, much to his dismay. But he had to do it & something happened while they were in the air! Apparently, the pilot lost control of the steering for a moment there due to some unforseen circumstances which scared the bejeezus out of Matt!! He vowed never to be on a helicopter ever again! Well said, Matt! Then Ellen asked him about his new movie, "Crash," a critically-acclaimed movie with a star-studded cast including Brendan Fraser, Sandra Bullock, Ryan Philippe, among others. It's a very controversial film which explores the intricacies of what people think in their minds about social issues, like, racism, discrimination, & stereotypes of different ethnic groups. This movie tackles issues that others don't dare to even explore! So, should be good. If you're into controversial, thought-provoking, raw movies, you should check it out when it comes out!

Betty White came on the show again! Seems like Betty & Ellen really like each other! Ellen was raving about how much Betty has been doing in her acting career - she's everywhere on TV! She's now on David E. Kelley's "Boston Legal" which has just been renewed for another 2 seasons. Betty was very excited about it. Then of 'coz they talked about "The Golden Girls" which was on TV for 7 seasons! Betty's character is still so endearing. Ellen called "Rose" (Betty's character on "The Golden Girls") stupid & Betty pretended to be very offended about it! Then she corrected Ellen & clarified, "Rose is an eternally naive person!" Ahhh... a very politically-correct term for stupid, won't ya say?! Seems like every time Betty's on the show, she'd play a game with Ellen or the audience. This time, it was the "What's My Next Line?" segment where she had to guess her lines from "The Golden Girls". Poor Betty! She was whining that even when they were filming the sitcom eons ago, she wouldn't even remember the lines back then, let alone so many years after the series finale! Sure enough, Betty couldn't remember the next line of each clip that Ellen showed!

• Guess what, a lucky member of the audience got to play host during the last bit of the show!! Yup, Ellen was a guest on her own show! The lucky member got to ask Ellen a couple of questions, just like a real celebrity interview on a talk show! She did a pretty good job. Bet she will never ever forget this experience, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today, Ellen talked about waiting rooms at the doctor's clinics. She was sitting in the corner of the main stage with the "waiting room" decorated set. She wondered why nobody's done anything to improve the waiting room experience. We seem to be conditioned to wait for a long time, sitting, listening to the endless muzak playing in the background, reading out-of-date magazines & filling out forms the size of a book! She thought waiting rooms should be done in a way that it's fun, like there should be dancing, there should be a DJ - very much like on her show...well, unless you're at the doctor's office waiting for a hip replacement surgery! Then perhaps they should have go-go girls dancing on the poles or something..!!

Ellen welcomed Jay Leno to the show again! Yay! Jay's a real good guy. FYI, he tapes his show in the same studio lot as Ellen's, so it's easy for him to just come right over to chat with Ellen whenever he has time! Anyway, today he talked about his wretched cat who, he claimed, has been fooling around with the phone in the house. To prove that it was indeed the cat who'd been causing the phone to be busy all the time, he went to the Spy shop to get some hidden cameras which managed to snap a picture of his cat literally dialing the numbers on the phone! Hah, caught red-handed!! Ellen looked at Jay disbelievingly & defended the cat! But Jay was very adamant about his cat being devilish so he told her about how his cat would always walk in-between his legs whenever he got out of bed in the middle of the night, in total darkness ('coz he didn't want to wake up his wife, you see), startling him, 'coz he firmly believed that his cat knew Jay wouldn't be able to see where the cat was! So, determined to get back at his own cat, Jay went to an Army store & got himself a pair of night vision goggles! So now, whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night, he can spot his cat before it springs on him! So now we know Jay has a long-standing "feud" with his own cat!! Ellen suggested to him to get another cat 'coz perhaps his cat's just a tad lonely. Jay looked so devastated at the thought of having another cat, he was like, "One cat is enough, thank you very much!" He was funny! After the commercial break, Ellen took Jay to her new "Riff-Raff", now called "Ellen's Backyard" 'coz all the people that can't get into the main studio are now hanging out in the newly invented "Riff-Raff"! Gosh, these people must have a great time. Not only do they get to see Ellen on a TV screen in the backyard, they get to go into the jacuzzi & have people serve them barbecue food!! Jay shared one of his barbecue secrets - that is, in order to keep hamburgers moist when they're being barbecued, he suggested putting an ice cube inside the hamburger pattie before barbecuing it so that the ice keeps the pattie moist while it's being cooked under the fire. Very good advice, Jay!

Jamie Lynn Spears, aka Britney Spears' little sister, came on the show. She looks so much like Britney, just smaller! She has her own show on the Nickelodeon channel called "Zoe 101." She also sings, of 'coz. Did you know that Jamie runs a cheerleading team at her school?! Wow! So, without further ado, Ellen asked Jamie to teach her some cheerleading techniques, which she did!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Ellen standing in her dressing room and Eric McCormack coming on-camera, drinking a cuppa coffee, wearing nothing (yes, NOTHING!) but a pair of Ellen boxer briefs!!!! And they were very fitting too!! He looked reeeeally good. Extremely fit! He told Ellen that he had the weirdest dream. He dreamt that he was doing Ellen's show wearing nothing but his boxers! Ellen gave him an up-and-down look & said, "Eric, it's not a dream. You're really on the show"!!!
• Today Ellen had a thought, a random thought, yes....about the nudist colony!!! Boy! Random thoughts about what it'd be like living in the nudist colony! The funniest line in the monologue was when she talked about how if you're nude, you wouldn't be able to know if you've gained weight 'coz usually the tell-tale sign is when you button up your pants & they're tigther than before, right? Anyway, you wouldn't be able to do that when you're nude. But wait! She thought of something..."Although, you would know if you've gained weight when you start playing volleyball, when you spike the ball over you hear clappings & when you turn around, you realize it's actually the sound of your body parts flapping!" Hahh!! Hilarious especially with her hand gestures when saying "body parts"!!!

Ellen welcomed back Eric McCormack of one of her favorite TV shows, "Will & Grace," to the show. No, he didn't come on wearing nothing! He wore a fitting black dress shirt & black pants. He dresses very well, that Eric guy! Ellen congratulated him & his TV show for continuing with the 8th season next Fall! Wow! Eight season already?! He explained that while usually contract renegotiations would be done by the cast's respective attorneys but this time, all 4 of them (he along with Debra Messing, Sean Hayes, & Megan Mullaly) renegotiated their contracts with the NBC execs together. Hey, that's very cool! Nothing's better than doing it as a team, and "Will & Grace," is a team show, always has been, and these guys are truly buddies off-camera! Ellen then asked how he deals with people who really think he's the "Will" character on the show (Will is a gay character, fyi!) & Eric nonchalantly said he always plays along with it. Now that's very cool, Eric, very cool, indeed! Ellen then wondered what his wife would think! His wife, btw, was sitting in the audience, smiling away! These guys are a great couple. Lovely wife! Anyway, Eric joked that his wife would get jealous... nahhh!! After the commercial break, Ellen challenged Eric to a game of badminton in the backyard of the studio. You should've seen how Eric played. I'm sure he was doing it on purpose - he played so flamboyantly, it's no wonder people think he's "Will" in real life! Of 'coz Ellen won! Then Eric tried to jump over the badminton net (pretty high) & obviously knocked down the net poles!! Funny!

• Ellen took a trip to the US Postal Office! It was the Burbank station No. 9. Boy, did she create a havoc while she was there, man! Very funny footage of her trying to find mail, serve the customers, some of whom declined to be served by her 'coz then, they'd have to be on-camera! Ellen was a little disappointed, saying, "They're turning me down, here!" The US postal person, Rose, took her all over the station to check out what it was like to work in the US postal office. Then Ellen sat in one of the carts & asked Rose to push her all over the postal warehouse! She had fun 'coz Rose was sweating away pushing her real fast!! After the footage, she introduced Rose to the show who came bearing gifts - the official US Postal Office hat (the white Dr. Livingston-like hat, if you know what I mean!)! As a token of gratitude & appreciation for letting her wreck havoc in her post office, Ellen gave Rose a huge (gigantic, more like!) postcard with words of gratitude written by Ellen herself & signed, along with a stamp with Ellen's face on it! Very cool, indeed! Rose was beside herself with glee!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today Ellen talked about packing for traveling. She mentioned about Usher, who recently lost one of his suitcases which cost about $100,000 in stuff that was packed in there!!!! Apparently, someone pretended to be one of his entourage & stole it! Ellen could hardly believe that one suitcase would cost that much! That's why she'd always pack only her bare necessities but in different bags in case she lost one of her bags. But she also acknowledged that we all tend to overpack whenever we go traveling. So her point was, try to pack only what we need, just bare necessities that we're sure we will need. Hear, hear, Ellen!
• Ellen announced that the show would spend the entire month of May to celebrate, appreciate & honor all teachers in the country. She raved about the commitment & sacrifices of teachers have given to their work in school & their students every single day. Therefore, she was proud to have this opportunity to honor a teacher on the show for the next month. Good for you, Ellen!

Today was the day Ellen's Riff-Raff Room got a major overhaul. Yup, she got "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"'s Ty Pennington to help out. Ellen welcomed him to the show again & talked about the success of his TV program, which has gotten so much attention & fame since it started. Then they revealed the brand new look of The Riff- Raff room! Guess what, the brand new Riff-Raff is now in the backyard of the studio! It was beautifully decorated. It was like a patio/sundeck with beach chairs and tables, just like a holiday resort! The jacuzzi was there as well. In essence, those people who'll not be able to get in to sit in the main studio don't need to be couped up in the old, claustrophic room anymore! They'd be out in the backyard enjoying the sun, the jacuzzi, the drinks & what not while watching Ellen's show on a screen (I think!)!! Cool!

Ellen welcomed Dominic Monaghan of "The Lord of the Rings" Trilogy fame & now ABC's hit show, "Lost", to the show. Boy, he's so petite! Dominic was talking about hating the length of his hair which was kept for his role in "Lost." But he was happy now that they'd shot the last episode of the current season so he could just cut off his hair! Did you know that Dominic loves the creepy crawlies??! Yup, he has roaches, spiders & what have you as pets, to Ellen's amazement!! And the way he talked about his pets, especially his spider, wow, he was passionate about it, man! Ellen joked that his love for bugs would reflect the type of girls who'd date him! Ooo, watch out!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today was a 2-for-1 show!!! Ellen came on & pitched the show to everyone, explaining that she'd be doing 2 shows in an hour; which meant she'd do 2 monologues, dance twice, interview a guest on each show within a show, and the other stuff that she'd normally do in a regular 1-hour show! The audience went crazy!
• Ok, Ellen's quest to call poor Brittany Murphy a liar is now officially over!! Yup, Ellen finally got the evidence that she so wanted. Remember Ellen was asking anyone to send in a video of their baby speaking words (not baby talk, mind ya!) at the age that Brittany said she started talking, which was at 4 1/2 months, so Ellen could be proven wrong. And she got a video! Someone sent in a video of their little baby at 11 weeks' old who actually said the word "Ellen," very clearly, to Ellen's utter shock & amazement! Ellen showed the video clip to us & my, my, was it eerie to hear a little baby speak!!!! So, Ellen apologized to Brittany on the air for calling her a liar in public!!! Yeah, Ellen! And Brittany should feel vindicated now, shouldn't she? Can't wait for her to come on Ellen's show again to say, "HAH!! Bite me!!", eh?

The first guest was Vince Vaughn, visiting the show again. Before he came on, Ellen had 3 members of the audience going into the jacuzzi. They were all huge Vince Vaughn fans and would love to have him dip in the jacuzzi with them! So, when Vince came on, Ellen asked if he'd do that, just to make his fans dream come true. Sadly, he came up with all sorts of excuses not to be in the jacuzzi, claiming that since he quit smoking, he's been eating a lot more but exercised less. So it wouldn't do anyone any good to see him take off his clothes to be in the jacuzzi! Then Ellen challenged him to participate in TV's first-ever Ellen DeGeneres Grand Prix but it wouldn't be her he'd race with but a surprise guest! Vince was excited & up to it! Then the surprise guest came from backstage & it was none other than Owen Wilson, who's Ellen's next guest on her 2nd show later! They talked briefly about Vince's next movie, "The Wedding Crashers" which comes out in July.

After the commercial break, we saw Ellen & Fox's sportscaster (can't remember his name) getting ready to do some sports commentary on today's Ellen DeGeneres Grand Prix - a mini-race between Vince & Owen in those speedy go-karts! Ellen confessed that she was planning to be in the race as well but when she tried it out before the show, she found out that the go-kart was going a little too fast for her comfort. So she dropped her plan of being in the race with the boys. Anyway, Owen & Vince raced, bumping into each other here & there. On the last leg, it looked like Owen was going to win but then we could see that he purposely slowed down so he & Vince could reach the finish line together. Lo & behold, Vince didn't get his message & raced past Owen toward the finish line!! So, Vince won the race & got a trophy!! He felt bad about it & gave the trophy to Owen, instead! Sweet guy, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about people visiting without calling first. She was talking about the other day when she heard a knock on her door after dusk & was startled by it 'coz she wasn't expecting anyone to visit! So, the point of her monologue was that people should call first before they go over to other people's homes.

Ellen brought on a 12-year-old boy from Staten Island who's an accordion player. Wow, listening to him play Green Day's hit single, "American Idiot," on his accordion, I have a newfound respect for the seemingly boring accordion!!! Plus, the boy was great! His favorite band is Green Day so Ellen gave him tickets to go see them perform in New York plus a signed CD!!

Penny Marshall came on with all her knick knacks, as usual. Boy, she really loves arts & crafts, man! She's now making these shiny decorations on sneakers & has patented them! They talked about Penny's daughter who's expecting a child any moment now, so she was nervous on the show since she could get a call at anytime! FYI, Penny has produced 2 big Summer movies - "Cinderella Man" starring Russell Crowe & "Bewitched" with a star-studded cast including Nicole Kidman, Will Farrell, Shirley MacClaine, Michael Cain et. al.! Wow, now THAT'S a stunning cast not to be missed! Ellen expressed her utter excitement about "Bewitched" 'coz she was a big fan of the TV hit show. Both are coming out in June. Then she agreed to perform her own rendition of Ellen's theme song. My gosh!!! She was croaking away (Ellen commented that Penny has a very distinctive voice!), trying to keep up with the music 'coz she was screwing up with the lyrics!! It was so funny!! Guess what, she's receiving a Medal Of Honor in Ellis Island for something she wasn't sure what! Probably a honorary thing for her achievements. She promised Ellen that she'd tell her all about it after she attended it. Until then, she has no idea what it's about!

Ellen was very excited to introduce this new music artist, Ellis Lawson, who's from London, England. Tony was the one who gave her a copy of Ellis' yet-to-be-released CD and she fell in love with every single song on it! Ellen mentioned that the CD's not even released yet but she couldn't wait to introduce Ellis to everyone and predicted that after the release of the CD, the new artist would be huge! Well, we'll see, won't we? Anyway, the song she performed on the show today, "Gotta Get Up From Here," from her CD entitled, "The Philosophy Tree" sounded really good. Her voice reminds me of Alanis Morrissette's... a little banshee-like..but crisp, if you know what I mean! So, if you're interested, you may log on to Ellen's official website to download the songs before the CD comes out! The CD only comes out on December 31, 2005.

Rob Morrow, best known for his role in the critically acclaimed but corky series, "Northern Exposure," came on and the first thing he said to Ellen was that he's a huge fan! He mentioned that for some reason, he gets a break at 3p every day so he'd watch Ellen's show in his trailer! Although Rob & Ellen don't know each other, but they ran into each other before, the last time was when they were both shopping at Barney's. Ellen found out something really funny about Rob's just-turned-4-years-old daughter. It's her name which is, Tu and her last name is Morrow! My gosh!!! Thank God Rob & his wife had the sense of giving her a less conspicious middle name, Simone! Ellen remarked that when Tu gets older, she wouldn't want to be called by her first name! Let's face it, Tu Morrow??? Are you kidding me??!! That poor child is destined to be scarred for life!! Rob stars in CBS' newest hit drama, "Numb3rs," which airs on Fridays at 10p. Check it out!

Boy, was today a busy show indeed! The last segment was really good. Everyone got to take a peek at Ellen's new short film which she wrote and directed, courtesy of American Express!! Her short film, aptly called, "My First Short Film," will be shown at the opening of the Tribeca Film Festival. Very cool!! She only showed 2 minutes of it on today's show. For those of you who've yet to watch the entire film, I highly recommend you to log on to American Express' My Life My Card website to check it out! You won't be disappointed! It's hilarious!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ok, Ellen finally acknowledged that she was a smoker!! She was very excited to announce that she has quit smoking for 2 months! Congrats, Ellen! She admitted that she'd always been ashamed of being a smoker, although, she didn't smoke a lot, she was a social smoker. But then, she remarked that nobody would announce that they were smoking until they've quit, 'coz let's face it, who would announce that they do stupid things, right? "I was really ashamed of it. Nobody's proud of it. People smoke and I smoked, but it's a bad habit. Nobody ever announces bad habits. I'm announcing it 'cause I'm proud of it 'cause it is so hard to do. So you announce when you quit, but nobody announces when they start..." And she went on to say that people would be very surprised to see her smoking 'coz she didn't look like a smoker. "When people would see me smoke they were shocked 'cause I don't look like a smoker and I really didn't smoke that much. I was a social smoker." So they'd come up to her & ask, "Are you a smoker?" to which Ellen would respond facetiously, " No, this is chalk in-between my fingers here. And...it's on fire!" She admitted that she didn't look good as a smoker whereas there are some people who look really cool when they smoke, i.e. gangsters, or the camel with a tuxedo...! So, when she finally decided to quit, she didn't want to announce it yet until she was 100% sure that she was off the habit. She then joked about it, of 'coz, like a lot of people use different ways to help them quit smoking, like, some people would put a rubber band on their wrists & would pull 'em when they felt the urge to smoke. Ellen mused that she used to wear a band on her wrist too, but to hide her cigarettes!! Then there are people who'd walk around with an unlit cigarette but would always find an excuse to light it up! For her, she recommended a book written by Allen Carr entitled, "Easy Way To Stop Smoking," which she used to help her quit the habit.
• Remember the "Jacuzzi" scandal recently where the attorney from "Jacuzzi, Inc." wrote a letter to Ellen's show reprimanding her for misusing the word "jacuzzi" in vain? Anyways, they probably felt bad about being so uptight about the use of the word which they should know that it's sort of like a trend word, like, "Kleenex" to describe tissue paper. If you remember, Ellen proposed that they sent a jacuzzi to the show and they took her up on it!! Today, we saw the big jacuzzi on-stage, fully functional, with water, jets & everything! In addition to the real jacuzzi, the company presented Ellen with a certificate that stated "Ellen DeGeneres is a honorary member of the Jacuzzi trademark team"!!! Wow!! They also made some t-shirts for Ellen that had the "Jacuzzi" logo in front but the best thing about the t-shirt was what was printed at the back! Yup, it stated, "Top 5 Reasons Jacuzzi Loves Ellen" and listed them. Check 'em out:
  
  1. Taught us to relax again
  2. Reintroduced the term Roman Bath into the American lexicon
  3. Helped us brush up on the difference between verbs, nouns & adjectives
  4. Proved to us that Ellen's fans love her too
  5. Gave our Jacuzzi legal team their 15 minutes of fame
  Isn't that funny?!! The lucky audience was given the t-shirt each!!! WOW!

Jason Alexander came on donning a bathrobe 'coz he was supposed to get into the jacuzzi tub later on! Guess what, Jason has just written a children's book (that IS a trend spreading among the Hollywood celebrities today!) called "Is Your Dad A Tooth Fairy?" He explained that the whole content of the book was based on his actual conversation with his son when his son asked him about the tooth fairy. So, if you have kids or just curious about what exactly Jason wrote, check it out at your bookstores! They didn't really talk much about Jason's new sitcom, probably because it's not doing that well in the ratings. He himself even expressed that he didn't know if there would be another season. But he's having fun doing it. Oh well.. Then he & Ellen went into the jacuzzi! No, they weren't in bathing suits or anything. In fact, they were wearing the thick rubbery fisherman's dungaree & boots over their clothes! So, they couldn't actually sit in the tub! Ellen looked a little uncomfortable being in the tub. But of 'coz she had to do it, she had no choice!!

Ellen welcomed Amy Yazbek to the show who did a little wild dance move when she came out. Don't know about anybody else who watched this segment, but I got the notion that the whole interview (very, very brief) was a little off. Ellen seemed to be in a hurry, Amy sounded a tad offended when Ellen asked about the meaning of "Life On A Stick," which is her new sitcom. But poor Ellen was only asking and perhaps sounded like it was a stupid title or something. But they were both laughing, although a little forced, or something. Anyway, I'm sure Ellen was relieved when she took the show to a commercial break, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with a knock on Ellen's dressing room door. When she opened it, it was none other than today's guest, Angelica Huston! Immediately Angelica thanked Ellen for sending her some lovely food - lobsters, oysters, caviar, what have you. Ellen looked at her & muttered "Oh..you're welcome! I'm glad you like it. We wanna make our guests comfortable, you know.." Then right after Angelica left, Ellen turned to someone off-camera & yelled, " Now, who gave Angelica my lunch?!" Very funny!
• Ellen talked about psychic abilities, people having them because they do and people who think the have it but don't! Having been to psychics before, she noted that there are good and bad psychics, very much like tattoo artists! Huh?! Anyway, her monologue wasn't as funny or maybe because she couldn't really articulate it well 'coz she sounded like she was having a real bad cold!! Her voice was very congested, her eyes were all watery & stuff. Boy, yet another cold she's having, that poor thing!

Ellen was very excited to welcome back the incomparable Angelica Huston to the show 'coz she really loves her! Angelica came on donning a very chic black pant suit. Ellen couldn't help but kept on saying how "cool" she looked! She went on raving about what a cool couple Angelica & her husband are. As you know, Angelica is the 3rd generation of the famous Huston family in Hollywood. Ellen just marveled at the fact that all 3 family members from 3 generations - Angelica, her dad, John Huston<, & her grandfather each won an Oscar!! WOWW!! Talk about Hollywood Royalty, eh? Angelica, of 'coz, won her Oscar in the classic, "Prizzi's Honor" which Ellen really loved & raved about it. Angelica was born when her dad, John Huston, was shooting "The African Queen" on location with 2 of Hollywood's legends, Humphrey Bogart & Katherine Hepburn! So her dad didn't get to see her until she was 6 months old. Ellen asked if she remembered anything during that time which of 'coz she didn't 'coz she was only a mere 6-month-old baby; which gave Ellen the ammunition to rag on Brittany Murphy yet again, when she facitiously remarked, "6 months old? Brittany Murphy would have remembered what happened at that age. She'd have said to her dad, 'Hello, father'!!" Ellen, you BAD!!

Before they dove into Angelica's latest project, Ellen found out that she loves to make jams & jellies. Apparently, Angelica has a farm up north! Yup, she grows all sorts of fruits, even animals! So Ellen asked if she had any plans to perhaps sell her jams & jellies one day which Angelica admitted that she has a plan to do that. Wow, if that happens, she'll be on the list of other celebrities who've sold food stuff, like Paul Newman, who has his own food brand! Ellen proposed to call it "Angelica's Jams & Jellies"! Ellen then mentioned about not just loving Angelica's acting but also her directing talent as well. She saw "Bastard Out Of Carolina" which Angelica directed. Her latest directing job is a TV movie called, "Riding The Bus With My Sister" which stars Rosie O'Donnell who plays the mentally challenged middle-aged sister, & Andie MacDowell who plays the famous photographer sister who ends up having to take care of Rosie's character after their father dies. Angelica raved about Rosie's excellent performance, dramatic yet funny & irritating, which role needs. It's going to be aired on CBS on Monday, May 1st. So check it out!

Ellen was excited to have one of her favorite singer/songwriters, Rob Thomas from the band, Matchbox 20, perform on the show. Rob has his debut solo CD out in stores now. She mentioned that she absolutely loves Rob Thomas who's responsible for many of the great songs of the decade. He performed his single, "Lonely No More". Great song!

Then Ellen helped make Rob's dream come true. Well, you'll never guess what Rob's always wanted to do - make sushi!!! So, Ellen brought in a sushi chef from E-Cuisine to teach them. The whole thing was so funny 'coz first of all, the chef gave Ellen a soy wrap instead of the usual seaweed wrap (probably 'coz he thought Ellen preferred the soy wrap!) while he & Rob both had the seaweed wrap! Then the rice that was used was already pre-done for the purpose of making sushi 'coz as you know, the rice used for sushi is no ordinary rice & one has to put sugar or some other stuff in it to make it stick nicely while it's being rolled. So Ellen was like, "Hey, you didn't show us how to make the rice! The TV viewers who're thinking of using your recipe would never know about it & they'd use ordinary rice & it'd ruin the sushi, so they'd end up going out for sushi anyway!" It was so funny 'coz the more the chef kept saying that people should go to E-Cuisine to have sushi, the more Ellen was ragging on how he wasn't showing them the proper way of making sushi! Anyway, Ellen's California Roll never looked worse! It just crumbled apart 'coz the rice didn't stick on the soy wrap, so when she tried to roll it, some of the rice fell off & when she cut it after putting the contents in the roll, everything just oozed out of it, making it look like lumps of s***!!!! Rob's spicy tuna roll looked ok, though. And he kept on eating the ingredients even before they started!! He must really love sushi, that guy! Anyway, when the chef told Ellen & Rob to try their own sushi, Ellen remarked facitiously, "I'm NOT gonna eat mine! Look at it! I've never seen sushi look like this in the sushi restaurant!" Poor Ellen! She always screws up her cooking, doesn't she?!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ok, there was no monologue today. Why? 'Coz Ellen had a BIG apology to make, that's why!!!! First, she introduced a guy to come on & he proceeded to stand at the side. Hmm, wonder who he might be, you wonder, eh? Well, read on. And kudos to Ellen for admitting her mistake in public & dedicating her whole monlogue segment to do just that! Ok, as soon as Ellen started to explain, that guy started doing sign language to interpret what Ellen was saying! Well, apparently, her monologue yesterday about Miss California & the Spanish language thing was false!!!! She only realized it after the show yesterday. She admitted that in reality, she didn't watch the Miss USA Pageant Show. The whole story about Miss California making a bad last impression on the show with the hand gestures to express "Thank you very much" was told to her by one of her writers!!! And obviously that writer made a big mistake!! It wasn't Spanish that Miss California was learning. It was sign language!!! So, her hand gestures to express "Thank you very much" was right on the nose! Obviously, Ellen admitted that she didn't check out the story first before using it for her monologue yesterday! Ellen was so very apologetic & looked embarassed for making such a mistake!! She actually invited Miss California who's from San Diego to be on the show today! Her name's Bonnie. Ellen called her out to be with her & the first thing Bonnie did was give Ellen a big hug! Ellen continued apologizing to her profusely. Bonnie turned to her & said, along with doing the sign language, "Forgive," "Forget," "Finish", teaching Ellen how to do it while she was saying it. Ellen did it pretty well! As a punishment, Bonnie brought Ellen a tiara & the banner that said, "Miss Informed" to wear, along with a bouquet of flowers!!! Ellen then did the trademark wave that all contestants do at those pageant shows! It was so funny! She had to dance with the tiara & banner still on her!!! Poor woman! It was hilarious & I must say that Ellen was great! Hats off for acknowledging her mistake on her show like that! Very embarassing & humiliating but she did the right thing. Plus, it made great comedy!! Ellen was still apologizing to Bonnie & marveled at her sense of good sport & grace! She invited the beauty to sit in the Luxury Box for the entire show which she gladly obliged. Wow, really didn't see this big apology thing coming, man!
• Ok, it's set! Jacuzzi, Inc. is really gonna send Ellen a jacuzzi to be used on the show!! Wow!! We shall see, then, shan't we?

Ellen welcomed back Ryan Seacrest, host of the hugely popular "American Idol" who also recently taken over the "America's Top 40" reign from the legendary Casey Kasem on the radio!! Wow, that's big stuff, man! Ryan was also on the show to promote the "America's Top 40 Live" show which he'll be hosting on Fox which airs sometime in April. As you know, Ellen's a big fan of "American Idol" and expressed her disappointment when one of her favorite contestants was voted off. She asked what Ryan thought about that verdict who didn't want to commit to anything kind of personal opinion 'coz hey, he's the host of the show! He has to remain neutral, right? Ellen told him how mad she was when she saw that episode & Ryan asked if she does the actual voting herself. Ellen replied, "I care about the show but not enough to vote..!" She then congratulated Ryan for taking over "America's Top 40" from Casey Kasem. A real big shoe to fill, which Ryan admitted because he grew up listening to Casey!! Didn't we all, eh? That voice, who'd forget? Ellen found out that Ryan had always wanted to do magic in public. So she had him do it in front of the audience. But it was so funny 'coz you could see that neither Ryan nor Ellen remember what to do with the magic box which was a big one. So when they were closing one of the lids of the box, there was a miscalculation or something 'coz Ellen was pulling the lid down a wee bit faster than Ryan so it hit his elbow pretty hard that he could only use his other hand!! But he was such a good sport 'coz he was joking about it! Of 'coz Ellen was nearly on the floor laughing!! She really loves slapsticks, man! Anyway, despite all the clumsiness, the magic worked, thank God!

Fran Drescher came on the show for the 2nd time. Gosh, she still had that annoying nasal voice from her "The Nanny" days!! For some reason, Ellen didn't seem very comfortable doing the interview with Fran. Must be that voice!! Plus, Fran was telling stories that weren't that funny but Ellen had to laugh obligingly. But perhaps it was Fran's dissing of Tom Cruise that probably made her act a little uncomfortable about laughing at the joke or something because she's good friends with Tom. Anyway, Fran has a new sitcom airing on WB on Fridays called, "Living With Fran."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today's monologue was all about first & last impressions with the latter being Ellen's focus. She's right. Last impressions are as crucial as first impressions. Ellen gave an example - Miss California. Apparently, on the Miss USA Pageant Show, the host, Billy Bush, asked Miss California about learning to speak Spanish as she mentioned that she just started learning the language. So Billy asked her how to say "Thank you very much". She turned toward the audience with her hands gesturing outwards & said, "Thank you very much.." in English!! Ohhhhhh!!!! Ellen then sarcastically joked, "The last time we saw Miss California, she was in Mexico ordering a drink: 'Uno mas tequila, por favor!' Then she looked up & screamed, "Por que???!!'" Gosh! It was so funny!! So, last impressions do make a difference, eh!
• Ellen mentioned that the lawyer from Jacuzzi, Inc. called them back after their phone conversation from yesterday was cut off. He left Ellen a message saying that he'd try to get Ellen a jacuzzi on the show, no promises, though.

Matthew McConaughey came on looking all tanned & weather-beaten, much like the character in his new movie, "Sahara." Obviously Ellen knew Matthew pretty well ever since being in a movie together several years ago. Remember "Ed"? Ellen mentioned that since the movie, they hadn't seen each other much so she was excited to see him again. Ellen immediately asked about the air stream that Matthew & his "Sahara" crew have been traveling in, doing this nationwide promotion for the movie. He called the air stream the "Sahara" stream now 'coz the whole vehicle is painted with "Sahara" ads. Apparently, Matthew loves to BBQ and he's been doing that at every stop he makes across the country. Basically they park the vehicle in the RV compound at the end of the day and he starts his BBQ, inviting the locals as well. He also mentioned that the promo interviews are being done in the "Sahara" stream! Very different, indeed! Ellen asked if Penelope Cruz goes along with him in that vehicle since she didn't think that she's the outdoors type. Matthew explained that while she goes along but then once in a while, she'd need to be in a hotel! Poor Penelope! Then Ellen mentioned the fact that when Penelope was on her show recently, she did some crazy dance moves & urged Matthew not to dance with her! He acknowledged it but then told Ellen that he has his own crazy dance moves, too! So he immediately stood up to do a demonstration, dragging Ellen along, of 'coz! It was funny!! Before he left, Matthew led Ellen in on his BBQ recipe. He BBQed some large chunks of meat & proceeded to give Ellen a small piece to try. Alas, that piece had a lot of fat in it & Ellen was just chewing it but you could see that she'd never swallow it. Matthew realized it & held out his hand & before you know it, Ellen, without any hesitation, spat out the fatty meat!!! Good ol' Matthew, eh?! You can catch Matthew in action in "Sahara" showing in theaters nationwide now.

Ellen welcomed Maura Tierney to the show. They obviously never met each other 'coz Maura looked a little shy. They only shook hands. Maura had her glasses on (very cute!) and looked very casual. Ellen asked if playing a doctor on "ER" taught her medical stuff that she could use in real life. Maura actually diagnosed her husband's appencities correctly which resulted in him being admitted to the hospital & having a surgery! Wow, art imitates life, eh? Maura also expressed about her amusement of how the real medical staff in the hospital treated her - just like another medical professional 'coz they were showing her x-rays & blurting medical jargons like Maura was a real doctor or something! Cool! Ellen then asked her about this powerful, heavy-duty water hose that she uses at home so she could get one herself, too. Maura explained that hers is actually her gardener's who lets her use it. She must really love that equipment 'coz she kept on describing the functions and how great it is to clean the driveways or patios during winter. Ellen was like, "I want that, too!" Then Ellen asked Maura how she met her hubby. Apparently, when they first met, they were in a bar & he was with his girlfriend at that time. Maura embarassingly admitted that she had a crush on him. A natural event that occurred in the bar that night brought them together! Well, apparently, when Maura was coming out of the restroom, she saw her future hubby coming towards her direction & then all of a sudden there was an earthquake!! All the lights went out but guess what the 1st thing Maura did? She revealed that she just grabbed the guy by his shirt & kissed him. So they kissed until the lights went back on again!! Then, they each went their separate ways that night, pretending that nothing had happened. Then 2 days later, both of them broke off their respective relationships & then went out together. The rest was history! Woww!! What a story, indeed, eh? Anyway, Maura's been on NBC's long-running drama, "ER" for 5 years now. You can see her in action every Thursday at 10p on NBC.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Ellen & Pamela Anderson doing the "slow-motion" running like we saw in the opening credits of "Baywatch" which made Pamela a star!! It was so funny!!
• Today, Ellen talked about gossip and the tabloids. She admitted that while she tells everyone that she doesn't read the tabloids but sometimes, it's real hard to ignore them especially when they're everywhere - at the checkout counters, the dentist's, etc..! Although she stressed that most of the gossip stuff in the tabloids are not true. But who cares, right? For some reason, people like to read about lies - it's the voyeuristic nature of the nation. She then talked about walking up the stairs at a store one day & she spotted a few paparazzi hiding behind parked cars trying to get a picture of her. So she described the position she was in when they took her picture - which was her squinting her eyes at the paparazzi! Oh well, when you're a celebrity, there's no way to avoid these relentless paparazzi who'd do anything to snap a picture of you, especially when you're not on your best behavior!
• Ellen was still talking about the letter sent by the attorney of Jacuzzi, Inc. which basically blasted her for misusing the Jacuzzi brand in vain. Yesterday, she tried to call the attorney but only got his voice mail. So today, she tried calling him again & got him on the phone! Almost immediately, the guy (whose name is Steven Davis, by the way) told Ellen what a big fan he is of her & all that. Ellen stopped him right there & asked why he'd write such a letter to her. He quickly noted that Jacuzzi, Inc. wasn't trying to be mean or intimidating like the letter sounded. The letter was basically a way to educate Ellen about the word "jacuzzi" not to threaten. So Ellen asked what a Roman bath was which he himself wasn't sure! She explained that a lot of people, a lot of companies that she found in the yellow pages that use the word "jacuzzi" to describe whirpools, jet streams, hot baths, so why didn't he go after them? She mentioned that she could spread the word for him too, if he wanted. Then she asked whether the letter was like an advertising ploy 'coz Jacuzzi, Inc. would know that Ellen would mention the word a lot when dealing with the letter! Then she asked if Jacuzzi, Inc. would send a jacuzzi to the show and make a demonstration so people can differentiate between a jacuzzi & a whirlpool let's say. Steven maintained that he'd have to get approval from his boss before he could say yes & Ellen teased that his boss would definitely say yes 'coz, hey, it's free advertisement, man! Ellen then thanked Steven for talking to her about the letter & the use of the word "jacuzzi" but maintained that she has the right to use it as a verb, not a noun, but a verb! You tell 'em, girl!

Time to play the Mystery Word again today! Pamela Anderson was supposed to guess it. And guess what the word was? "Jacuzzi" again!!! Funny!! I'm sure Ellen wanted to taunt Steven Davis, the attorney for Jacuzzi, Inc.! Good job, Ellen! Anyway, when Pamela came on, they talked about the tabloids which she didn't hide her absolute dislike of them & told Ellen she refuses to read them. But then, her mom would tell her that she only reads the good ones, like National Enquirer & Star!!! Good one, Pamela's mom, since we all know that those 2 tabloids are the worst ones! Ellen asked how she avoids the tabloids especially when she's with her kids & she's always out with her kids 'coz she's a hands-on mom. Pamela maintained that she's so used to those paparazzi that she just ignores them now 'coz she's not about to re-arrange her life for those vultures! Good job, Pamela! Then Ellen started baiting her to say the mystery word. At first, she didn't guess it but within a few seconds, she got it!!! Wow, real fast compared to poor Cynthia Nixon (remember?) when she kept on saying whirpool, much to Ellen's dismay!! Oh, did you know that Pamela has a pole in her bedroom?!? She said that her kids play with it all the time 'coz they think it's a fireman's pole without a hole to slip through at the bottom! Anyway, Pamela has a new sitcom, premiering today on Fox called, "Stacked," which is about a party-girl who wants to change her life & gets a job working in a bookstore, hence the title of the show.

Ellen welcomed back the very funny Anthony Anderson to the show. Ellen raved about his talents. Not only can be do funny, he can do drama & intensity as well which he's doing in the FX hit show, "The Shield." Ellen probably saw an episode of it & told Anthony just how good he is. He's signed up to appear on the show for the entire season. He also has a movie coming out, a comedy obviously, called "King Ransom" which co-stars Jay Mohr. Did you know that his mom was in the audience today? He told Ellen that his mom goes everywhere with him. That's cool! She's a big "Bingo" player so Ellen was surprised that she was sitting in the audience & not playing "Bingo" somewhere in LA! His mom replied that her "Bingo" game was tonight! Anthony brought his high school yearbook which had his high school pictures in it. He didn't look too bad. Did you know that he was in the basketball team? And Ellen found out that the yearbook he brought wasn't even his! It belonged to a person named Patty! That's funny!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Have I mentioned that Ellen is an ardent fan of documentaries - to be exact, documentaries about animals? Today's monologue was all devoted to a documentary about birds that she just watched on TV. Her fascination of it compelled her to share it with all of us on her show! She rambled on about the migration of birds, how they fly in a triangle formation when they migrate & how she wish she could do that while driving on the freeway! What's surprising was Tony, the DJ, who's completely terrified of birds, actually watched the documentary, too! Must be very, very fascinating to learn about how birds migrate, indeed, eh?
• Remember the other day when Cynthia Nixon was a guest on the show & she had to guess the mystery word which was "jacuzzi"? Well, believe it or not, Ellen got a letter from the attorney for Jacuzzi, Inc. even before that episode aired, telling Ellen off about misusing the Jacuzzi brand to describe other similar products, like, whirlpool, hot bath, etc.. & basically told her not to use the Jacuzzi name inappropriately again in the future. The letter sounded so rigid & threatening that Ellen looked visibly worried but of 'coz she still made jokes about it, saying that while she'd make sure that she wouldn't use "jacuzzi" as a noun anymore, she'd damn well use it as a verb like, "Jacuzzi on!" Anyway, today, she tried to call the attorney but only got his voice mail. So she left him a funny message about his letter. Geez, Jacuzzi, Inc. is such a pain, man!! I mean, how many people or companies have used "jacuzzi" to describe other similar products, eh? It's a trend word, very much like using the word "Kleenex" to mean tissue paper. You don't see the Kleenex co. writing letters blasting people about it, do ya?! Jeez, talk about being a big-ass spoil-sport! The attorney must have a pole sticking right up his ass or something to be such a humongous pain, man! Chill out, Jacuzzi, Inc. people! Don't ya see that Ellen's doing free advertisement for you here?! You should actually thank her, not reprimand her with a nasty letter!

Ellen welcomed back Tom Selleck to the show. This time, he was wearing his regular moustache but also a thin beard as well. The last time he was here, his face was shaven, which Ellen remarked that it was a tad scary 'coz she was so used to seeing him with facial hair! Anyway, the tall & towering Tom gave Ellen a big hug - it was sweet! Oh, did you know that Tom has been married for the last 18 years? Wow, Ellen mentioned that he & his wife will be celebrating their 18th anniversary soon and showed everyone a picture of him & his wife along with their good-looking daughter. Tom's wife is a dancer...cool! Ellen then mentioned that she and Tom ran into each other in a store the other day. Tom looked a little embarrassed when he heard that 'coz something happened. So he proceeded to explain. Apparently, when he was in the store, he spotted Ellen standing near the doorway. At first he thought he made a mistake 'coz why would Ellen be standing near the doorway? But when he was closer, it was indeed Ellen that he saw but then, he started pondering to himself whether he should walk up there to say "hi" 'coz he didn't want to intrude or bother her. So with all the domestic-like thinking by himself, he didn't realize that Ellen went up to him & said, "Tom, it's Ellen.." Very funny, indeed. There he was, literally in a dilemma about whether to greet Ellen or leave her be 'coz he didn't want to bother her & the next thing he knew, Ellen was right in front of him! Ellen remarked that when he saw Tom, he actually was doing the nodding thing but looked like he just saw a fan or something. That's why Ellen went up to him & said that she was Ellen, not one of her fans! Tom explained that he always has this dilemma when he sees someone he knows 'coz he never knows if it's appropriate to walk up to them to greet them or would it be construed as bothering them & asked if Ellen had the same problem which she quickly said, "No. I'd just walk up to them & bother them!" Good one, Ellen! Oh, did you know that Tom grows avocados? Well, when Ellen mentioned that he has an avocado farm, Tom quickly corrected her about the word "farm" 'coz he always prefers to say "ranch" instead 'coz it sounded more manly!!! Ahem, as you say, Tom! Anyway, while he grows avocados, he doesn't eat them. He only sells them. You know, Tom didn't come on to pitch anything, so it's real cool that he came on the show to have a chat with Ellen. Good to know that he's one of the many celebs who really like Ellen, eh? Before he left, he played "What's My Line?" (or something!) with Ellen where he had to guess the line he said from a chosen scene from his classic hit show, "Magnum P.I." all the way back to when he was on a TV Dating Game show! The 2nd season of "Magnum P.I." is out on DVD now.

The legendary Hall & Oates performed their new single, "I Can Dream About You" from their new CD. They performed another song, their classic hit, "Rich Girl," at the end of the show.

Wendy Malick came on the show for the 2nd time, this time to pitch her new sitcom, "Jake In Progress." The 1st thing she said to Ellen after sitting down was that she was so happy to meet Hall & Oates backstage 'coz she's always been a fan of theirs! Anyway, the last time she was on the show, she talked about her "baby," which meant her baby horse, which is now gotten bigger. Ellen showed some pictures of the beautiful horse. Wendy continued talking about her horse using words that Ellen didn't quite understand. At one point, Ellen had to stopped her & went, "What are you talking about??!" Poor Ellen! Ellen asked how she could play being pregnant on TV when she's never been in that situation before. Wendy also wondered why she'd be asked to do that. She had to be pregant & then give birth on her new sitcom but was promised that she could go into menopause right after giving birth, which she really appreciated. Before she left, she quickly pitched a stage show which she's a part of, called "Questa" (or something!) which is now playing in an art theatre somewhere in LA.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about everyone saying "hi" differently. There's "hi," "hey," "hello," some just nod, some even make this eye movement thing...She mentioned that usually if you see a person for the 1st time on a particular day, you naturally say "hi." The 2nd time on the same day, you'd probably wave, then the 3rd time you'd just nod, but if you see that person for the 4th time on the same day, well, you're probably being stalked!
• Did I mention that Ellen has recently begun timing the length of her dance routine? Well, that's because in recent months, she probably got all caught up in her dance moves that the routine had been going on longer and longer. Hence, the producers must've told her to cut it down. So, Ellen decided to have her producers time her so that she could keep it within 1 minute. Very smart choice, Ellen, 'coz God only knows that the routine needs to be cut down as it has become too monotonous already. Of 'coz, when you're in the audience, that's a whole different story altogether 'coz you'd be dancing with her, with the great music playing live! But for those viewers out there watching, it can be boring at times. So, Ellen & Co., smart move to cut down the duration of the dance routine! Kudos!

Ellen was very excited to welcome back Brittany Murphy 'coz if you remember, last year, when Brittany was on the show, she talked about being able to utter words when she was a mere 4 1/2-month old baby, and complete sentences and paragraphs when she turned 6 months!! Since then, Ellen has been taunting Brittany to prove herself by telling everyone that she's a liar!! Yes, this time, Brittany did bring proof - witnesses, to be precise! Well, her witnesses, who were her mom and aunt, weren't physically on the show but they'd be joining Ellen & Brittany over the phone later on the show when Ellen played "Judge Ellen" with the poor guest! Anyway, Brittany came on looking all bubbly and excited to be back again & couldn't wait to defend herself against Ellen's accusations that she's nothing but a big, fat liar! Before they played "Judge Ellen," Ellen found out that Brittany doesn't actually have a driver's license & she lives in LA!!! Wow!! That sounds crazy but indeed, Brittany explained that she just didn't get round to it all this while. Ellen was like, "But you're 27!" Well, it's becoz Brittany used to live in New York when she was growing up, so she didn't need to get one, then. Old habits die hard, I guess, 'coz by the time she moved to LA, she just didn't think of getting it. Guess she's been driven around LA instead, eh? But Brittany admitted that she'd have to get one immediately because she's going to do a movie where her character drives a lot. The movie's going to be filmed in England. Double jeopardy - not only does Brittany have to learn how to drive, she has to learn how to drive on the other side of the street as well when she gets to England!! Poor soul!

Then the time came to play "Judge Ellen" where there was a courtroom set in the studio & Ellen had a judge's cloak on, armed with the hammer, while Brittany was on the witness stand. There was another person standing on the other stand opposite Brittany. Ellen didn't introduce him so halfway through explaining the segment, she was cut off by Brittany who demanded to know who that guy was! Turned out that guy's a pediatrician who has kids of his own. He was sent there to rebut Brittany's claims. Then, Ellen called on Brittany's mom & aunt via teleconference & had them describe what exactly happened with Brittany when she was 4 1/2. They told Ellen that Brittany started uttering a word which then became 10 words by the end of that day! Her 1st word was a very fuzzy "bubble" which could have sounded like, "baba". But they were adamant that Brittany uttered the words that day at the age that she claimed! Of 'coz, the pediatrian immediately struck down that apparent phenomenon that Brittany's mom & aunt were expressing, explaining that babies at that age, at best, can only mimick sounds, not utter clear, concise words! Then argument ensued among everyone involved & in the end, Ellen had to use her hammer & shouted "Order! Order!" The resolution was that Ellen would take Brittany's witnesses account into consideration but still thought that Brittany's a liar! It was so funny!! No matter how hard Brittany tried to convince Ellen, she just couldn't, bless her young heart! Ellen then asked Brittany to come back to the show soon & Brittany just couldn't contain herself about liking Ellen that she proceeded to kiss her hand!! Boy, oh boy! Of 'coz they also talked about Brittany's new movie, the #1 blockbuster movie, "Sin City". She was raving about the making of the movie and expressed her honor for being in it along with the star-studded cast. She then encouraged everyone to go see it 'coz she believed that the art of making that movie by the 3 amazing directors, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino & Frank Miller, would make film history which would be talked about in film schools years from now.

Eric Idle, from the classic cult hit, "Monty Python" came on wearing pants that looked like jammies!! Ellen commented that they looked really comfy which Eric agreed totally. Frankly speaking, the interview didn't go as smoothly 'coz there was no chemistry between Ellen & Eric. It was either Ellen didn't get his British dry sense of humor or that he didn't get Ellen's usual sarcasm or something. But Ellen got it through pretty nicely. They of 'coz talked about the brand new Broadway musical hit, "Spamalot" which Eric had a hand in creating it out of his show, "Monty Python", directed by the acclaimed Mike Nichols & starring a lot of Broadway/stage actors like Hank Azaria, David Hyde Pierce et. al. Eric couldn't remember their names, not even Mike Nichols' 'coz he did admit in the beginning that turning 62 didn't help his memory at all! Ellen was like, "I'm not that age yet & I'm already forgetting people's names!" So right, Ellen!

Ellen was very excited to introduce her favorite new band, "Ringside," to perform for the 1st time in front of an audience. Apparently, her good friend, Balthazar Getty (remember "Lord of the Flies" in the 80s?) who's also in the band gave her their 1st CD to listen to & she got hooked since then! Their CD is due out sometime in April.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was all about her plea to people to leave quick, clear phone messages! She complained about the long-winded messages that some people like to leave on the answering machine, and also the ones that are so short, like, "Hi, it's me. Call me.. " which is highly assuming of them. Ellen joked that unless they're James Earl Jones or Anita Baker, she wouldn't be able to recognize their voices if they don't say at least their name or phone number. Then there are people who leave w-a-a-a-y information in their message which we do not wanna know! And then there are messages with important information that you're waiting for but because these people ramble on too much until the very end when they just rush through the rest of it - yes, frustrates the hell out of us, doesn't it especially when we have to rewind and replay the long message to get to the information that we want at the end of it!!
• Ellen read some of the Most Embarrassing Moment stories sent by the viewers. There was one that was simply hilarious!! I could actually see Ellen's re-enactors doing it! This woman from Connecticut revealed what happened to her at the state volleyball match during high school - she wore braces then. During the break, she was chatting with another player whom she knew but was playing against her team. So she was standing very close to the net while her friend was standing at the opposite side of the net. Then when the referee blew the whistle to restart the game, she turned and lo & behold, her braces were caught in-between the net & became all tangled up!!!! Can you see the image now?! Wow!! Anyway, the referee had to come to her rescue to untangle her from the net!! What a horribly embarrassing moment. This experience was so tragic to this woman that she told Ellen in her letter not to reveal her last name! But of 'coz Ellen had to call her on the phone to find out more which she did and was able to talk to her on the show today!
• There was another story which Ellen read before the show but it was so funny to her that she told the audience that she decided to read it out at the end of the show 'coz she didn't want to mess up her mascara from laughing if she read it before the show ended!
• Ellen asked whether anyone called DMV recently. Apparently she did 'coz she wanted to know the business hours. Alas, the automated system just took such a long time before she could finally get to the business hours!! So, today, to prove it, she called DMV on the show & had her staff start making grilled cheese sandwiches just to see how many it'd take to get through to DMV with the business hours info. However, Ellen push too many digits when asked to punch in the zip code! So, she was finally transferred to a live person! She then complained to the person on the phone about the horrible automated system that people have to go through before being able to either speak with a live person or get to the info they need, even something so simply as finding out about the business hours! By the time she got the business hours (which proved to be difficult to understand 'coz it was so confusing! If you think that the hours of operation are set like any regular hours, you're mistaken! Anyway, Ellen's staff got to make 4 grilled cheese sandwiches by that time!! That's how long it takes to get just the business hours from DMV which Ellen told the person on the phone! If anyone of you out there has called DMV, you'll know what Ellen's talking about. Honestly, it's like going through a maze, man!

Finally, Whoopi is on Ellen's show! For the longest time, we were wondering why she hadn't gone on the show! The reason is, as Ellen found out, Whoopi hates flying. So she travels on her private bus across the country. In order for her to come to the show, she had to travel on her bus from New York to LA which took her 43 hours or something! But she did it, yay! Ellen was very grateful and immediately told everyone that Whoopis was her inspiration when she started out doing stand-up. She first met Whoopi in San Franciso who told her what a great comic she was after watching her stand-up. Very cool, indeed! Anyway, they talked about why Whoopi hates to fly. Whoopi told her horrifying story - the last time she flew, which was to London, the passenger sitting beside her ended up dead!! Worse, the flight she was on was full so the flight attendant couldn't move the dead passenger anywhere else. So she ended up having to sit beside the dead all throughout the flight!! My gosh!! Talk about a moment that'll scar you for life, emotionally & psychologically!! No wonder she hates to fly!! Who wouldn't if faced with that horrible incident, eh? Anyway, Whoopi is back on Broadway doing stand-up after 20 years. Her Broadway show called, "Back to Broadway: The 20th Anniversary" is going to be aired on HBO. So check it out! FYI, Whoopi's gonna travel on her bus all the way to Victoria, Canada for her stand-up gig as well. Cool!

Regina King came on with the Ellen boxers in her hand. She immediately thanked Ellen for such a good gift 'coz she's a boxer gal. She raved about how soft the boxers were and went on to tell Ellen that she still has the pyjamas that Ellen gave her while filming "If These Walls Could Talk 2" featuring Ellen and Sharon Stone. Wow!! Ellen raved about Regina's incredible performance in "Ray" and then talked about her latest movie with Sandra Bullock, "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous" which is in theaters now. She had great fun doing it 'coz Sandra would always strive to make her mess up her lines on-camera with her stint behind the camera!

Ok, as promised, Ellen read out the funny Most Embarrassing Moment story which she mentioned earlier that cracked her up so badly before the show. Apparently, this person was doing some gardening and spotted a nice-looking guy on the street kissing his cute lil' dog. So cute that he had to approach the guy but then as he was about 6 feet away, he realized that the cute lil' dog that he thought the guy was kissing turned out to be a sandwich!!! Oh my God!!! Ellen was laughing profusely now, "How can you mistake a sandwich for a dog?!!" she cried!! Well, fyi, Ellen actually made a mistake with her remark. Instead of saying "How can you mistake a sandwich for a dog" she said "How can you mistake a dog for a sandwich"!!! Ha! Ha!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about stupid things she's done, like when she makes a fool of herself, which she admitted, happens often! She was on a radio show based in Detroit doing an interview. The radio host was a fan of Ellen's & her show & expressed how much he loves watching the show, also reminded her that they'd spoken before (which Ellen didn't remember, obviously!). Then he wondered why Ellen never had authors on the show. Ellen admitted that she hadn't but recently read this book which she really enjoyed and told him that if she could get the author of that book on the show, it'd be great. Then the host mentioned that if she ever has authors on, let him know. So naturally, Ellen thought, oh, he must have written a book and was trying to be on her show, so she asked what book he wrote & he said, "Five People You Meet in Heaven." Ellen was like, "Oh ok, I sure will read it, if I get a hold of it!" & hung up. Then she went back to working & something hit her when she kept wondering why this name, "Mitch Album," sounded so familiar. Then she found out that he wrote "Tuesdays At Morries" which she read & loved and called him which was why they'd spoken before. And he wrote "Five People You Meet In Heaven" - both were in the New York Times Bestseller List and they made movies out of them. And she realized that was Mitch Album she was talking to on the radio show!!! So, embarrassed, she called him back to apologize!! Before ending her monologue, she expressed her apology to Martin Scorsese for mixing up the movie involving "Christ" that he directed. But alas, she made a mistake right on TV!! Instead of correcting her mistake, she made the same one, saying sorry to Martin for thinking he directed "The Last Temptation of Christ" but that he actually directed "The Passion of The Christ"!!! Oh, nooooo!!!! Ellen, pay attention!!!! Martin Scorsese DID direct "The Last Temptation.." NOT "The Passion.."!!!! Poor Ellen! Anyway, after her dance routine, she corrected herself again after being tipped off by one of her producers, no doubt, acknowledging that she made a mistake!

Kevin Costner came on all dressed in white - golf clothing, kinda, which matched Ellen's checkered golf pants! They looked like they know each other pretty well 'coz they were joking with each other all throughout the interview! Ellen congratulated him for his recent wedding. She showed us some pictures of Kevin & wife which were really beautiful, especially the one where they posed in a row boat still dressed in their wedding attire with a breathtakingly majestic landscape behind them! Kevin then shared one of his embarrassing moments - not the worst but he was pretty embarrassed about it. It involved him & his kids, his pal Don Johnson & ball game tickets at Staples Center. Apparently, after going through all the hassle of getting to Staples Center, waiting in line & finally getting some "special VIP treatment" from the pagers, they were told that their tickets were no good 'coz they were for the game on the next day!!! Oopss!! FYI, Kevin recently celebrated his 50th birthday and Ellen asked how he felt being 50 'coz she noted that when she was a kid, she always thought that people in their 50s were very old & ancient! But now that she's 47, she doesn't think of that anymore. Kevin felt the same way, too. Ellen then raved about Kevin's latest movie, "The Upside of Anger," which she had obviously watched 'coz she was very enthusiastic about it, raving that it was so very good as the story was very realistic & humanistic. Kevin expressed that he was very proud of it & always loved the writer 'coz he also wrote the critically-acclaimed HBO series, "Mind of a Married Man" which he absolutely loves and claimed that most men do but hate to admit!

Michael Clarke Duncan came on looking really good - he lost so much weight!!! 95 lbs. since his "The Green Mile" days, to be exact, confirmed Michael. He immediately started to share his most embarrassing moments with Ellen, which amused her. He was in a gym one day and there was this guy with shades on who kept on bumping into him. For the first few times, he let it go but then for the umpteenth time, he got very agitated. So he turned around to face that guy & shouted, "Hey, can't you see where you're going? Are you blind? Stop hitting me!" Then the guy took off his shades & said apologetically, "I'm so sorry but I AM blind. Sorry for hitting you.." And Michael was beside himself!! He couldn't believe he did that to a blind guy!!! All the people in the gym were glaring at him probably thinking what a bully he was!! Speechless & horrified, Michael left the gym in a jiffy!! Michael told Ellen that he'd never forget that incident for the rest of his life! He's reminding himself not to mess with guys with shades on 'coz you'll never know if they're blind! And, never say to a woman that she's pregnant!!! Yup, it happened to him when he was in a store buying something & saw this woman with a bulging abdomen. Thinking that he was doing something nice, he went over to her to congratulate her & asked when she was going to be due! The woman glared at him angrily & exclaimed, "I'm NOT pregnant!" Awww, can't imagine how Michael was feeling then!!! He was horrified beyond words!!! So now, he told Ellen, he's gonna be very careful talking to people. He'll walk the other way if he sees a guy with shades on or a woman with a bulding abdomen!!! Poor guy! They then talked about Michael's new slimmed down look, of 'coz. He showed Ellen how he does stretches, which is one of the many exercises he does to lose weight. He highly recommended people thinking of losing weight to do push-ups. Then he proceeded to have Ellen sit on his back & then he started doing push-ups with Ellen on his back!!! WOWWW!!!! That was something, man! Ellen, being mischievous, started pretending to be riding a horse, raising her hand to twirl the imaginary whip! It was funny! By the way, you can see Michael in action in the nation's #1 movie this week, "Sin City."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was all about leaf blowers. She hates them! Sure, we all do, especially that awfully LOUD noise that they make!! MAN!!!! Check out just how Ellen really feels about 'em.."Whoever invented this sick, twisted, noise-maker....perversion...!!" Well, said, Ellen, well said, indeed! "Everybody who lives in LA has a gardener and where there's a gardener, there's a leaf blower. You don't see a gardener without a leaf blower. I thought that leaf blowers were illegal. I thought I read in some places that they've made them illegal, which they should be becoz really, how hard is it to move a leaf?! And they always do it when it's a very important time, like it's the day that you can sleep in, that's when the leaf blower starts up, or an important phone call, or when you're waxing your legs or something...Trust me, you need a quiet time when you're working on hot wax, I'll tell you that! I found out the hard way...my back was a mess!! I'm so mad at leaf blowers I don't like Leif Garrett anymore!"
• They played the Mystery Word today with Cynthia Nixon who'd have to guess it while being interviewed by Ellen! The word was "Jacuzzi."

Ellen welcomed back Cynthia Nixon, best known for her involvement in the hugely successful but now ended "Sex And The City." She's promoting her upcoming HBO movie, "Warm Springs" which airs on April 30th. In the movie, she played Eleanor Roosevelt so to make her character more realistic, Cynthia had to wear fake buck teeth dentures. So, Ellen wanted to do her intervivew while wearing one herself along with Cynthia. Alas, while Cynthia got her fake buck teeth dentures right, Ellen's was a disaster 'coz the dentures kept coming off making her look ridiculous especially when she kept on trying to talk...hopelessly!! It was so incredibly funny! She just couldn't keep it on for even a second! Of 'coz the audience was literally on the floor laughing and Ellen couldn't stop laughing until saliva was coming out of her mouth 'coz of the dentures!!! Aww, man, it was priceless! Cynthia was an expert in handling the dentures 'coz she probably got used to it while doing the movie! So, despite Ellen's dentures disaster, she started trying to get Cynthia to say the mystery word but instead, Cynthia kept screaming "Whirlpool!" & Ellen was like, "Noooooo!!" in an old granny, screechy, high-pitched kinda voice under those horrible buck teeth dentures!! In the end, she had to tell Cynthia that the word started with the letter "J" & voila, she finally guessed it!!!! Phew! What a trip!! Oh, those buck teeth dentures, man!! Fantastic!! That should be an encore for one of the best moments of the show!

John Spencer paid a brief visit to Ellen again today. The last time he was on the show, he talked about being an informercial junkie 'coz he simply loved those gadgets that are being sold on TV & he'd buy them even though he didn't have any use for most of them! Yes, he's still a junkie! So Ellen gave him this latest informercial kitchen utensils - a combined turner-spatula that makes flipping foodstuff in the frying pan much easier, & a ladle with a built-in strainer!! John was so excited about it - he was like a boy who's been given some cool toys to play!! Yup, as John admitted, he's very easy to please! Ellen was like, "You're so simple!"

Ellen welcomed back Reverend Al Green who performed "Everything's OK" from his new CD.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about how happy she was for getting back to work after a week off. She talked about Easter, which she was amazed that she still finds eggs lying around even now! The eggs are for kids, she exclaimed! Then she mentioned the fact that we just turned our clocks forward for Spring but had a hard time finding that word to describe daylight savings - "We just sprung..sprang...spr..forward..we just lost an hour of sleep!" There you go. Ellen's a big fan of Boggle - the cube that's filled with letter dices which you shake to make out words. But her complaint was that it makes a hell of a noise when you shake the cube. So she suggested that the cube should be made out of nerf - heck, everything should be made out of nerf! "Everything should be made out of nerf, even my blender, so that I could make daiquiris all day long without waking my Mama....poor Mama, she sleeps in the kitchen..!"

Ellen welcomed Kenneth Branagh to the show. He's an actor/director/producer who's famous for all of his great Shakespearan performances. Ellen found out that he's actually Irish. So that was the 1st thing they talked about. Kenneth explained that he was born in Irish but moved to England at the age of 12. Of 'coz Ellen, as usual, started doing her so-called Irish accent! Hilarious especially when she actually thinks that she does a good Irish accent! Guffaw! Anyway, Ellen asked if Ken used to be made fun of when he moved to London with his Irish accent. He sure was! But then he gradually got rid of it altogether. However, he did say that if he starts to talk fast, his Irish accent then comes out naturally. Then Ellen showed us pictures of Ken when he was a kid. He looked really prim & proper but also adorable! All the photos had him wearing jumpers and woven vest which Ellen immediately commented that she too likes to wear those. Then they talked about Ken's latest movie, "Warm Springs" which is going to be aired on HBO. The funny thing was, Ellen, for some reason, said "Warm Things" instead of "Warm Springs" in the beginning of the show when she briefly introduced Ken as one of her guests today! She was like, "Warm Things"? That's another movie altogether, which I have in my dressing room!" So, when Ken started talking about his HBO movie, he joked that he'd like to get a copy of "Warm Things" from Ellen after the show as well. "Warm Springs" is actually about the life of Franklin & Eleanor Roosevelt at the time when he was struck with polio at the age of 35, before he became the longest-running President in the U.S. Ellen raved about Ken's acting talents and said she'd definitely check it out on HBO when it airs.

Lisa Marie Presley visited Ellen's show again! Before sitting down with her to have a chat, Lisa performed "Dirty Laundry" from her latest CD, "Now What." The first thing Ellen said to Lisa was that she's always amazed every time she looks at Lisa 'coz she forgets that Lisa's a mom of 2, one of whom, is a budding model at the age of 15!! Lisa was like, "Oh yeah, it's because I look 12, right?!" Ellen asked how she felt when her daughter wanted to be a model. Lisa conceded that she's never believed in preventing her kids from doing what they want because repression would make them feel even more inclined to do something bad later. But she did admit that the model industry is a cut-throat one, so she's careful to make sure that her daughter gets her school work done and not turn into one of those anorexia freaks! Well said, Lisa! Then Ellen carefully asked if they could talk about her boyfriend, Michael. As soon as she got the go-ahead from suddenly shy Lisa, she immediately asked, "Are you engaged?" Lisa quickly pounced on it and said no & coyly show Ellen her bare fingers without any engagement ring on! Ellen was like, "Yeah, right! You took it off. I had it on before!" Lisa just laughed heartily and wouldn't confirm it, to Ellen's dismay! But Ellen, as usual, was respective of that and said, "Oh well, I'm happy that you're happy, whether you're engaged or not....which you are!" Another hearty laugh from Lisa who is really a spitting image of her mom, the fabulously looking Priscilla Presley! The last thing Ellen asked was about the apparent sale of Graceland. Lisa explained that the media got it all wrong. The real story is, there are 2 companies - Elvis Presley Enterprises and Elvis Presley Estate. For a long time, she, her mom and the Board of Elvis Presley Enterprises had wanted to merge with another company as part of its diversification. So they got what they asked for, which is, the Enterprises merged with another company who bought 85% of the share. But Lisa still owns 15% of it. So she's still in control of what's going on reassured everyone that she'd never let the merger affect any loss of her dad's name or anything related to it. Ellen then raved about her newest CD which she likes it very much & urged people to go buy it.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about wine - yes, alcohol, her favorite subject! She made fun of places that offer free wine these days. Gone are the days where you have to actually be IN the restaurant and order your drink to get it, man! Now, whether you're in a boutique or shoe store, people just whip up either a white or red wine for you for free!! She joked that wine's never served when you go to a bed store - 'coz that'd be a mistake, right?
• The segment of "bad high school hair" continues to be pursued actively by Ellen & Co. This segment is so popular on the show that even her so-called Re-enactment team was formed solely to re-enact bad high school hair stories that viewers send to the show! Today, Ellen's Re-enactors premiered on the show...yes, she was one of the pranksters!

Queen Latifah visited the show again, this time to promote her new movie, "Beauty Shop." Boy, she's looking better & better, man! The secret? Well, apparently Queen went to this health spa thing, mainly to help her quit smoking, but she had everything done to her body system - termed cleansing, I guess! So, Queen hasn't had a fag for 5 months now. Good job, yo! Then Ellen shared with everyone Queen's ever-changing hair styles since her high school days! Not bad except for one that looked like a conehead! She was like, "What was I thinking?!" What a right role for her in "Beauty Shop" eh, since she's got this hair fashion going on there! Oh, did you know that Queen just celebrated her 35th birthday? Well, when Ellen wished her a belated birthday, she went, "Oh, I'm still celebrating it! I thought since I've turned 35, I thought it best to celebrate 35 days of it!" Hmmm, very good idea, ma'am! Ellen raved about Queen's multi-talents. Not only did she start out as a rapper, she's transitioned her career into acting, hosting, and show off her great voice! After the interview, Ellen invited her to play a game of "Humdinger" with the audience. Oh man, was it bad!!! You should hear the audience members trying to hum the songs for Queen to guess! Disastrous but absolutely hilarious!! You can see Queen in action in "Beauty Shop" in theaters everywhere now.

Tim Daly came on for the 1st time. Before he came on, Ellen joked about him being on "Wings" before and now he's in "Eyes" which prompted her to remark that he's next show should be called "Beak" so altogether, his shows would make a bird!! Anyway, did you know that Tim's related to Tyne Daly of the "Cagney & Lacey" fame and now "Judging Amy"? Yup, they're siblings! Ellen then showed us Tim's high school pictures. He could easily be passed off as a girl, to tell ya the truth! Tim, of 'coz, was embarrassed but said that it was inevitable 'coz he has 3 older sisters. Obviously some of their feminine side had rubbed off on him! Heh! Heh! Then he talked briefly about his new TV series, "Eyes," which is about a group of private eyes (hence the title) who go to all lengths to ditch up all kinds of dirt of the targets for their clients. The show airs on ABC.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was about cereal. She mentioned that one of her writers, Karen, brings her cereal called "Good Friends" to work, trying to converting people to switch to "Good Friends"!! FYI, this cereal brand is found in those wholefoods stores in LA. It's very high in fiber. Of 'coz Ellen made fun of "Good Friends" and what's on the box, "On the box, you know what I'm talking about if you've seen it, I'm not making this up...on the box, there's 2 middle-aged people, a man & a woman, with their heads together, laughing over a bowl of cereal! I guess fiber is hilarious..for some reason! And it says on the box, this is what they're proud of..12 grams of fiber...which is a lot, you know. My broom has 10 gms! Don't.Eat.A.Broom!" Man, that was hilarious!! Only Ellen can make an observation of everyday things that we all experience into funny monologues!!

Ellen welcomed back Bernie Mac who looked a little lethargic. Perhaps it's because he just recovered from a very bad case of pneumonia which led him to be hospitalized! He told Ellen that the tabloids were so nasty that they even wrote that he was dead! Poor Bernie! But he's back and he assured Ellen and the rest of us that he's recovered and is as healthy as ever, so never believe in what you read in the tabloids, folks! They then talked about Bernie's new movie, "Guess Who," which is a loose (very) adaptation of the classic Tracy-Hepburn-Poitier movie, "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner". He explained that they couldn't do a remake of the original 'coz inter-racial relationships are very common today. So the new version is more of a comedy about black and white than a controversial subject which it still was when the original was made in the 60s.

Canadian group, Sum 41, performed "Pieces" from their new CD, "Chuck."

Country singer & sitcom star, Reba McIntire, visited the show again. Ellen wished her Happy 50th Birthday and asked how she felt being 50 'coz she's 47. They both reminisced that when they were kids, 50 to them sounded nothing but OLD! But now, Reba admitted that she feels as youthful as ever and welcome the big 50. Good deal, Reba! And she's as busy as ever, what with her music career, her sitcom which continues to be successful, and being on Broadway! Well, best wishes to you, Reba!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• IT'S ELLEN'S 300TH SHOW TODAY!!!! Ellen was very excited as she came on to talk about looking back at some of the unforgettable moments in the past 299 shows even though her philosophy has always been to look ahead instead of back & stay in the moment. But since it's the 300th show, a big one for Ellen & her show, she let her philosophy slide this time around! "So, I'm still gonna be in the moment, but I'll be looking back at the moments I was in..at that time & in another moment...when I was in that moment..!"
• Ellen showed some moments from past shows like all the dances that she did with the celeb guests, then the 188th episode with John Travolta where he and Ellen did the interview lying down cozily underneath the covers; and of 'coz the 121st episode where Jim Carrey fell off his bike while trying to do some bike stunts on the studio who amidst embarrassment, shouted, "It's part of the trick!" & Ellen practically laughed her head off uncontrollably!! Other favorite moments were Tom Hanks helping Ellen do the special episode which dedicated to the troops in Iraq where the whole audience was filled with families of the troops; and the guy who proposed to his girlfriend on the show.
• My, my, the audience in the studio and the Riff-Raff room were lucked out 'coz today, Ellen gave out lotsa goodies which made them screamed with joy!!

Who better to have on Ellen's 300th show than Miss Congeniality herself, the beautiful & funny Sandra Bullock, eh? Wow, she came on proudly showing off her tee that had "Ellen" on it, much to Ellen's pleasant surprise! She was also wearing a similar pair of grey pants like Ellen was including the tennis shoes, imagine that! My, the hug that she gave the host - the biggest, most enthusiastic one yet, man!! Ellen almost fell over with the humongous bear-hug that Sandra gave her!! Ellen welcomed her to the show very excitedly. You can see that she really likes Sandra 'coz she's not only beautiful & talented, she's one hilarious natural comic, too!! One point to note, which Ellen told everyone before Sandra came on - did you know that Sandra actually donated as much as $1 million to the Tsunami Relief Fund?!! Boy oh boy, and no publicity about it, either! Good ol' Sandra!! The first thing that Sandra told Ellen was that she was a little bummed out that she had to be on the show today 'coz usually she watches the show on TV at home! Obviously, Sandra is a big fan of Ellen's, eh?! Cool! In celebration of Ellen's 300th show, Sandra gave her a big glassful of 300 red M&Ms along with a little party horn to blow!!! Ellen was very amused but made fun of her so-called gift! Sandra quickly reassured her that the M&Ms were a part of the joke although it was from her heart since she picked the red M&Ms herself, there would be a "real" gift for Ellen later on the show. Then Ellen told her she never sees her & Sandra replied jokingly that was because she was never invited to the show, ever! Ellen of 'coz quickly defended herself, saying that Sandra's never in town 'coz she doesn't live in Hollywood. Yup, Sandra lives in Austin, Texas & has been living there for more than 7 years already! Very cool! Shows that she's not a big Hollywooder like virtually all celebrities, eh? Ellen raved about Austin for the fact that it's an artsy town that loves any performing arts related stuff & she enjoyed performing there everytime. She then asked about Dennis Quaid buying Sandra's bed. Well, Sandra explained that Dennis was in her town (Austin) filming one time and heard that she was trying to get rid of the bed she bought she she didn't like 'coz it didn't go with her home's scheme! Ellen was giggling already. So Dennis went over to Sandra's house who showed him the bed (which was in her bedroom) and then took it home with him! Yup, that was the extent of the whole story.

Later on the show, Sandra finally revealed her gift to Ellen - a blimp!!! Well, the blimp was actually still on the ground but on its LCD screen, it had "Happy 300th Show, Ellen! Love, Sandra"!! Ellen was laughing already and revealed that it'd cost a whole lot more to Sandra if the well wishes were done on the blimp while it was on the air!! And Sandra meekly agreed but said mischievously, "Well, I give you a blimp..." Even if the blimp was on the ground, Sandra had to pay quite a lot for that, no doubt about it, man! Good ol' Sandra!! Ellen, who was still laughing heartily because it was such a surprise gift to her (I'm sure she didn't imagine that someone would actually present her with a blimp!) couldn't hide her appreciation and asked Sandra, "Thank you so much! How could I ever repay you?!" Sandra replied adoringly, "Well, why don't you think of another funny line for us to use in a movie so we can make lots & lots of money, eh?" Hmm....wonder which line Ellen contributed in Sandra's hugely successful movie, "Miss Congeniality", eh? I guess that's an inside thing between Ellen and Sandra! You can catch Sandra in action in the sequel, "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous" in theaters now. It's pretty funny, that's for sure! So check it out if you're a Sandra Bullock fan! Ellen also said that the sequel looks very funny and many people have said that it's funnier than the 1st one. Guess what, today was also the day that Sandra was gonna be inducted into the Hollywood Walk of Fame!!! Very well deserved!! Ellen congratulated her enthusiastically and reminded her to change her wardrobe 'coz she was wearing a tee that had "Ellen" on it!! Sandra jokingly replied, "Hey, why not? It'd be cool, wouldn't it?" Oh, let's hope Ellen invites Sandra to the show again!! Bet it's gonna be a little difficult especially since Sandra doesn't live in Hollywood and she hardly does publicity unless she has a movie to promote. But no harm hoping, right, 'coz Sandra's one hilarious woman, man & both she & Ellen like each other very much!

Chris Kattan came on only wearing his undershirt & boxer shorts, much to Ellen's amusement! It's because in celebration of Ellen's 300th show, Chris wanted to get dressed in front of her and the audience with music!! Man, he was so hilarious doing his stunt in dressing up, I tell ya! Ellen was practically on the floor already, launghing! Then they did a re-enactment of one of the show's favorite moments - remember the chimp? Well, Chris was the chimp & started bouncing on his seat with Ellen holding his hand just like what she did with the real chimp! It was so funny!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Ellen watching a clip of "The Brady Bunch" with none other than "Mrs. Brady" herself, Florence Henderson! Ellen knew all the lines in that clip!
• It was all about the automobile navigation system in Ellen's monologue today. Nope, Ellen didn't rave about it - in fact, F-A-R from it! She complained about the total inaccuracies of the system in giving directions, even to uncomplicated routes! She told her own experience with her car's navigation system when she had to go out of town (up north, possibly). Ellen actually knew the directions to the place she was going to but since she had the system in her car, she thought, oh, what the heck, just use it, right? But then, when it was time to exit to another freeway which was to the right-hand side of it, the system kept telling her to keep to the left lane, much to her dismay! Why, 'coz by the time she realized it, she had to battle her way through 6 lanes full of traffic with angry drivers from the far left to the far right in a jiffy just so she wouldn't miss the exit!! Alas, the system kept telling her to detour so she could use the directions that the system was giving out to her instead of following her own! Wow, that must've been a helluva trip, eh? Poor Ellen! That's why Ellen vowed not to trust any technology to guide her anywhere anymore! Good call, Ellen!

Ellen welcomed back Elijah Wood to the show who looked as cute as ever with a casual dress shirt with a loose tie & worn-out jeans. Can you believe that he's 24 already and has been in 33 movies??!! Unbelievable!! He himself didn't even realize that when Ellen asked! By the way, Ellen told everyone that Elijah was fighting the horrible traffic to get to the studio for his appearance on the show. It actually took him 2 hours & 15 minutes to get to the studio from his home in Venice to Burbank which normally takes about 40 minutes!! Why, you may ask...'coz it was raining!!! FYI, when it rains in LA, nobody, but nobody knows how to drive! It's like everything suddenly stops when it starts to rain!!! That's the driving culture in LA, I guess! But good thing Elijah made it in time which he was glad about 'coz he hates to be late. Obviously, he wasn't driving himself 'coz he was telling Ellen that while being stuck in traffic, he was given 3 choices of DVD movies to watch, just to kill time. He chose the Classical Music DVD that had views of the sea. It was so serene and Zen-like that he fell asleep all throughout the ride! Oh, bless him! Ellen admitted that she can never relax wheneve she's stuck in traffic 'coz she immediately gets all stressed out about it. She then reminded Elijah about his resolution he made during his 1st visit the last time. His resolution was to stop biting his fingers. Of 'coz he didn't stick to his resolution - who does, anyway?! Ellen used to bite her fingers too but she kicked the habit when she started having her nails manicured. So Elijah thought that perhaps he should start having manicures too, in the hopes that he could also kick his finger-biting habit like Ellen did! Well, good luck, boy! They talked about Elijah's movie projects since the painfully long period of making the "The Lord Of The Rings" trilogy. Believe it or not, since then, he's made 6 movies!!!!! Absolutely mind-boggling!! One of his 6 movies that's coming out is "Sin City" which hits theaters on April Fool's Day (April 1st). Then another one comes out sometime in the Fall of this year. As for the rest, he's not sure. My, my, Elijah is sure keeping himself real busy, eh? Ellen mentioned that "Sin City" directed by the ultra-unconventional director, Robert Rodriguez, looks really cool & different from any other action movie derived from comic books. Elijah plays a blind killer in the movie which he had to face off Mickey Rourke's character involving lots of butt-kicking, martial arts moves, including some acrobatic, high-flying fight sequences that only wires could make them possible! He'd never done anything on wires before but he had great fun doing all his stunts even though at times, the wires proved difficult to maneuver. So, do check out "Sin City" when it opens in theaters near you, eh?

Florence Henderson came on looking all jolly and happy to see Ellen & vice-versa. These 2 blondies really adore each other. You know how Ellen introduced Florence before she came on? She called Florence "the mother of all mothers" aka "Mrs. Brady"!! Very appropriate. Speaking of Florence, she's really ageless!! She looks as good as ever, man! Guess what she said when she looked at Ellen for a brief moment after she sat down beside her? She was like, "You really look like you could be my daughter! Has anyone told you that before?" Ellen couldn't agree more 'coz obviously many people had come up to her to say that before. Ellen kept telling Florence how she loved "The Brady Bunch" and watched it all the time while growing up. Florence reminisced about doing the show and talked about how she always liked to look hip and cool on the show by starting a hairstyle trend 'coz everyone, male or female, wanted to have her haircut during that time! Yup, Florence started all that haircut trend waaaaaaaay before Jennifer Aniston did on "Friends"! Did you know that Florence was the spokesperson of Wesson Cooking Oil for 22 years??!! Ellen showed a clip of the Wesson commercial that Florence did where she actually sang the commercial song! Ellen revealed that she used to sing along with the commercial! Now, Florence has her own jewelry where she sells on her website. She brought a lovely bling in a shape of a dragonfly broach as a gift to Ellen! Why a dragonfly, you may ask. Florence explained that the dragonfly is the ideal symbol for Ellen because dragonflies symbolize transformation and Ellen is the epitomy of that makes her so great - yes, Florence said all that on the show. How sweet!!! Ellen was obviously touched by it. Okay, apparently, Ellen found out that Florence once said that she could dance better than Ellen! Florence quickly corrected her. She actually said that she bet she could outlast Ellen in dancing especially after seeing how breathless she was after her dance routine in the beginning of the show! And without further ado, Florence got up & said, " Tony, hit it!" The music came on & she did what Ellen does everyday with the audience!! Yup, she was imitating Ellen all the way, dancing with Tony & then moving her way through the audience, row by row!! Boy, did she do perfectly well, man!!! Bravo, Flo!! Ellen then joined her just as the show ended.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Ashton Kutcher walking toward Ellen's dressing room bringing gifts! When Ellen saw him, she looked everywhere like she was expecting something to pounce on her at anytime & kept saying "No" to Ashton when he tried to give her the gifts!! Then when he didn't seem to be backing down from Ellen's "No"'s, she asked nervously, "You're trying to punk me, aren't ya?!" And then in a flash, she was gone, running toward the stage to start the show officially!! Phew! Ellen thought she escaped the horrors of getting punk'd!!!
• Obviously Ellen's monologue today couldn't be anything else but Ashton's punks on celebrities!!! Gosh, she's really serious when she says she doesn't wanna get punk'd, man! Ellen actually looked scared out of her wits from fear of becoming the target for Ashton's hugely popular show, "Punk'd"!! While she explained that "Punk'd" is today's version of "Candid Camera" but she kept saying just how cruel the tactics used to punk the celebs are & she ain't about to experience that embarrassment on TV!! Ellen actually found out that Ashton & Co. were trying to get her people to punk her before the show today, but she outwitted them (at least for now!)! So now, she doesn't trust anyone around her anymore, not even her mom!!! It was so funny 'coz Ellen was practically having a nervous breakdown already at the notion that she might be punk'd!! Poor gal! It's the embarrassment resulted from the punk on TV that's really her main problem, I think. I guess Ellen's not the type who can take a practical joke in stride and laugh about it, eh?

Ashton Kutcher, looking mischievous as always, came on doing some dance moves toward Ellen! He always looks great in casual wear. Ellen immediately raved about how cool he looked and maintained that she's always thought that Ashton dresses very well. Ashton then showed off his Ellen boxers to everyone proudly!! Ellen's usual response, "They're very comfortable, aren't they?" She then raved about Ashton's great hosting job on SNL last Saturday along with Demi Moore who was incredibly hilarious!! If you didn't watch that episode, Ashton & Demi made fun of themselves and their age difference (15 years, to be exact) where Demi was dressed up as an old, white-haired woman sitting in the audience watching her boyfriend Ashton perform. Then he professed his love for Demi which prompted her to walk on-stage with a walker and they both kissed heavily on-stage! When they pulled away, we saw Demi's dentures in Ashton's mouth!!! Eeeewwwww!!!! It was really, very funny. What good sports are Ashton & Demi in making fun of themselves, eh? Ellen expressed that she never knew Demi could be such a funny lady....well, Ellen's not the only one surprised. I think most of us were! Who knew that Demi could be such a comedian, eh? And the way she made fun of herself and her relationship with Ashton. That shows just how secure and well-rounded these 2 people are. Anyway, Ashton revealed that after the show, he got a lot of calls from his buddies telling him how funny Demi was and they loved her! Ellen raved about how well Ashton gets along with Demi's ex, Bruce Willis, & their 3 daughters and how people simply don't understand why Ashton & Bruce are great buddies!! Ashton echoed what Bruce said on Ellen's show the other day - that they hang out all the time. Heck, Bruce has even worn Ashton's underwear before, Ashton revealed! He then quickly explained the reason why Bruce ended up wearing his underwear - apparently Bruce was on vacation with his daughters in Idaho and their truck got stuck in the water or something. Bruce got all wet so he went over to Ashton's house to take shelter & Ashton lent him his clothes including underwear so Bruce could get out of his wet clothes!! So, there you go, nothing hanky panky about it, eh? Bruce & Demi's kids simply adore Ashton and vice versa. They actually have a nickname for Ashton - they call him M.O.D. - short for My Other Dad!!! How cute is that?! Ashton quickly maintained that the kids don't need another dad 'coz Bruce is doing such a great job at it. He doesn't have to do anything. He just helps out & assist whenever he can. So he thought M.A.D. - short for My Assistant Dad - is more appropriate for him than M.O.D.!

Ellen then confronted Ashton about the new season of the hugely popular MTV series, "Punk'd". She thought that he ended the series when last season ended. Imagine her surprise when the new season came on! Ashton's reply was that Ellen along with all the rest of the people were all PUNK'D!! He made everyone think that the series was ended but nooooooo!!!! Ellen expressed her terror of getting punk'd on the show and kept giving Ashton hints that she shouldn't be punk'd since she's a good friend of his! All the time while Ellen was almost pleading Ashton not to punk her, he was looking mysteriously innocent and looked like he didn't know what Ellen was talking about! Bad Ashton!! I think Ellen won't be able to let her guard down until the series actually ends!! So we shall see if she ends up being one of Ashton's "Punk'd" victims on TV, eh? Oh, another thing worth mentioning was, all throughout the interview, Ellen kept on asking Ashton if Demi's pregnant!! Poor Ashton! He told her that he kept on telling the media & everyone else "No" but then the mags still publish that Demi is. So now his answer will be "I don't know" since saying "No" doesn't work anymore! Ellen of 'coz didn't let him off the hook that easily. Their conversation during the tease was like this: "Is Demi pregnant?" "No..I don't know!" "So, is it a boy or a girl? " "I..I don't know! No!" "Have you chosen a name yet?" "I..I..I don't know. I don't know!" It was hilarious, man!!! Then they talked briefly about Ashton's new movie, "Guess Who" which is a loose adaption of the classic movie, "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner." FYI, his TV sitcom, "That 70's Show" apparently will end after this season or the next one. Oh, yes, another thing - Ellen showed a picture of Ashton wearing a skirt proudly. So since he apparently doesn't have any problem wearing a skirt, her gift for him today was a Scottish kilt which he put it on immediately! The color of the kilt matched his outfit today coincidentally & he was looking proud in kilt! What a good sport he is, don't ya think? You go, Ashton! Before he went off-stage, he & Ellen were the "objects" of a bubble performance by Guinness Book of World Records holder, Fan Yang. Fan made a gigantic water bubble with Ashton & Ellen in it!!! But in order to do that, they had to stand very close to each other on a given spot & they ended up hugging each other face-to-face which caused Ellen to remark, "I'm sure I'm gonna be pregnant now!"

Ellen welcomed back Julie Bowen to the show. The last time she was here, she was promoting the now-defunct show, "Ed." This time she was here to promote her new show, "Jake In Progress," co-starring John Stamos, who was on Ellen's show last week. Ellen congratulated Julie for being a newlywed who talked about her honeymoon in Costa Rica which she and her hubby both had a great time. While on their honeymoon, they were actually involved in saving the sea turtles!!!! Julie brought back a souvenir for Ellen. It was a little wooden sea turtle with a shell that opens and closes. It's like a mini ring storage box or something. Julie loved it & thought Ellen might, too. Ellen asked her about her experience being on a show with John Stamos. Julie revealed that John is clueless when it comes to how his looks attract a lot of people. He has no clue when a person takes an interest in him! Awwww, that's adorable, eh? But then, Julie quickly came to John's rescue, despite being clueless, he's a great kisser - well, she'd know since she's shared some lip-locking scenes with John on their new TV series! You can catch Julie & John in action in "Jake In Progress" on ABC.

Ellen welcomed back Fantasia to perform on the show in excitement. She really loves that American Idol, I guess! Fantasia performed "Baby Mama" from her new CD.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• It's the 1st day of Spring today!! The camera panned to Ellen in her dressing room, busy throwing flowers all over the place, a basket in her arm!!
• Ellen's monologue was all about remembering things. She admitted that as she's gotten older, she seems to forget more. So, sometimes she'd write herself a note & put it in her pocket as a reminder. But the downside is, when she reads her note later, she wouldn't remember what it was all about in the 1st place! Many people say taking gingko biloba would improve one's memory but of 'coz Ellen retorted, "If we can remember to take gingko biloba everyday, we wouldn't need it, do we?!" She wished that there were something like a TiVO in our brains which could be paused or stopped or rewind or forwarded according to what we need to know, all by a remote control in our hands! Say, if we're thinking about something & then we get interrupted by someone who starts talking to us, we could push the stop button on the remote so that our thoughts are temporarily halted until the person's gone so we could resume with our thoughts from where we've stopped it!! Ain't it cool IF there's something like that we can actually control?! Wishful thinking, obviously, but never hurt to fantasize about that gadget, eh?

Today was Andie MacDowell's turn to guess that "Mystery Word"!! Today's word was "cornbread." Andie came on looking like Spring, very cheery & looking good, too! Gosh, she's got a very heavy Southern accent!! She's from South Carolina but now she lives in North Carolina, go figure! She knew she had to guess the mystery word so she looked visibly stressed out 'coz she revealed that she didn't want to be the one who couldn't guess the word on Ellen's show! So, she started blurting out words!! And of 'coz Ellen imitated her all throughout the interview, making Andie laugh like crazy! Ellen talked about Andie's name which is indeed her real name but it's her middle name. All female Southerners have long, dainty names, which Andie has, but can't remember now, for the life of me! Anyway, she has a teenage daughter who also has a pretty, dainty name as well. Ellen couldn't help imitating Andie's heavy Southern accent - well, it wasn't really difficult 'coz Ellen's also from the South (Louisiana, to be exact!) but her Southern accent is pretty faint now (once in a while, you do hear the drawl, of 'coz, which is inevitable!). Andie's daughter is a model now. Ellen showed a picture of her in one of the magazines, and boy, she looks pretty!!! Andie admitted that she tried very hard to deter her daughter from going into the modeling business for a long time but then her daughter persevered. So Andie finally agreed! Then they talked briefly about Andie's new movie, "Beauty Shop." However, she clarified that she's not in the movie much at all, just a minor role, but she had a lot of fun doing it 'coz there are quite a few people in that movie, ranging from Queen Latifah, Sherri Sheppard, to Alicia Silverstone and many more! Andie said that she had to wear a fake butt and it was a huge one. She realized that she got a lot of notice while wearing that! Guess what Ellen said? "Well of 'coz, everyone likes junk in their trunk!" Andie just burst out laughing heartily!! By the end of the interview, Ellen had to get Andie to guess the mystery word. By this time, Andie was really stressed out 'coz she couldn't guess it right. Then, she finally did & whoa, she was so excited & relieved that she almost jumped up with joy, screaming, "Yyyesss!!!!" It was so funny! Hmm, never knew Andie would be such a good sport! She was really at ease when she was with Ellen which hadn't been the case when she was on other talk shows. Good job, Ellen!!

Ellen brought in the 8-year-old girl who just recovered from cancer but it was the thing that she did that made Ellen want to tell everyone about her. This girl, who was featured in an episode of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", did something so selfless and brave that it literally brought tears to Ellen's eyes when she was explaining what she did. Apparently, the girl found out she had a tumor in her kidney area while her parents were out of town! Then she had to be hospitalized, go through the whole cancer procedure. Upon her recovery, she wrote a letter to the "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" show not to get her house fixed. Instead, she requested the show to makeover the hospital wing she was in because she thought the white walls of the hospital really didn't do any good to the other kids who were hospitalized there!! So it was her wish to have everything re-done in that wing so that it could help the kids get better!! Isn't she the sweetest, most generous girl in the world!! 8 years old only, man!!!! She also has her own website where she sells necklaces made from beads that she makes herself and the proceeds of her sale would be donated to charity that's related to kids who're suffering from cancer!! Ellen was literally bawling already by this time, trying very hard to fight back her tears!! The girl made her a necklace as well where the each colored bead had a meaning, i.e. love, caring, courage... Ellen was so touched. She told the girl that she'd definitely wear the necklace specially made for her. The best thing that the girl said, at such a tender age, was that love is the ultimate thing. Love is the most important thing in the world because it leads to everything else that makes people feel good. Gosh, this girl's a saint!!!! By the way, if you saw that episode of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," you'd know that Ty & Co. made over the girl's house as well with theme rooms - 1 for her and 2 others for her 2 brothers!!! She really deserves it, man!! What a great, selfless, loving kid!!! That stems from good upbringing by her parents. If you're interested in knowing more about this girl and her website, you may check it out by logging on to Ellen's show website.

Ellen welcomed back Mike O'Malley to the show. The last time he was here, Ellen dared him to wear the football jersey with a picture of her face on the back. Guess what, Mike & his wife went to the football game (Patriots vs Eagles) & he wore it!!! Mike's from New Hampshire so obviously he's a big Patriots fan. He told Ellen that all throughout the game, people would come up to him & asked him why he was wearing a shirt with Ellen's face on the back!! Some of them even greeted him "Hey, Ellen!" when they saw the picture! Then he showed Ellen a picture of him wearing a maroon tux for his high school junior prom, which he thought was embarrassing! He also shared his most embarrassing moment which involved his geekiness when he saw his playwright idol, Arthur Miller, at a book-signing!!! You can catch corky Mike in action in CBS' hit sitcom, "Yes, Dear" every Monday.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Ellen singing along with her mock band (her crew members with wigs, playing musical instruments)...all out of tune or rhythm which made it very funny indeed!
• Ellen's monologue was about singing. She feels that everybody can sing. It's just a matter of how well one sings. A lot of people like to sing along with the songs they play over the stereo, CD or radio, many actually believe that they sing as well or better than the real singers...which is why the TV reality show, "American Idol," is so popular! Why, 'coz for some reason, most people fantasize being singers, singing on stage & entertaining people! Yup, the age of fame & celebritism is unavoidable especially in America today! Ellen commented on the age of karaoke, which is a popular pasttime for a lot of people. She remembered back when she was young, there wasn't any karaoke, only a hairbrush that was used as a mic!! How the times have changed, eh?! She then wondered who thought of using the hairbrush as a mic & wandered off to the caveman era! Yup, Ellen likes to talk about the neanderthals, I guess!
• Today was the "Celebrity Objects" segment. People actually sent in pictures of objects or food that they thought looked like celebrities, like, Charlie Brown from a pint of Haagen Daz ice-cream, Jack Nicholson from a BBQ broiler covered in snow, Jay Leno from something, the list goes on! Ellen was very impressed with what people found in objects & encouraged others to send her more for the new segment. Leave it to Ellen to think of these unusual things, eh?

Adrien Brody came on & almost planted a big kiss on Ellen's mouth (FYI, he's infamous for putting his tongue down people's throats after his stint at the Oscars when he won the Award!) but ended up kissing the corner of her mouth! Ellen teased that while Adrien planted wet kisses on the likes of Halle Berry, Queen Latifah & Charlize Theron, she was disappointed that he didn't do that to her! Oh behave, Ellen! So they talked about his infamous kiss with Halle Berry at the Oscars where he made headlines on the cover of newspapers the next day! Then a couple of nights post-Oscar, when he was at a restaurant with his female friend, a stranger out of nowhere approached him & without any warning, gave him a French kiss right in front of his friend & obviously the other patrons of the restaurants! It was so fast that he couldn't think of a reaction, then! Poor Adrien! Anyway... Then he brought in his pet, Cheelo, a chihuahua that looks exactly the same as Paris Hilton's dog, Tinkerbell. Cheelo was so very adorable, who kept looking at himself on one of the cameras, getting all excited! Adrien said that he always brings Cheelo with him everywhere he goes...well, anywhere that he's allowed to bring a pet, of 'coz! Ellen raved about Adrien's Oscar-winning performance in "The Pianist," and also his latest movie, "The Jacket," especially the way he approaches his characters 'coz he obviously does a lot of research after taking a role. For his new movie, "The Jacket," his character is supposed to be locked inside one of the chambers in the morgue for long periods of time. So when he did his research on the role, he joined these sessions where people lock themselves inside a sensory deprivation chambers for 15-minute sessions. But because he wanted to actually experience the feeling like his character, he locked himself in the sensory chamber for 2 hours!!! Gosh, this guy really takes his roles very seriously, man! "The Jacket" is now showing in theaters nationwide. So check it out if you like. Ellen probably saw it 'coz she was saying how good the movie was. Before Adrien left, Ellen gave a present to him & Cheelo - a T-shirt for Adrien that said, "I'm Cheelo's Dad!" & a tiny t-shirt for Cheelo that said, "I'm Not Tinkerbell!" Ellen remarked that Cheelo's t-shirt was to make sure nobody confused him with Paris Hilton's dog!

Ellen welcomed back the hilarious Sherri Sheppard to the show for the umpteenth time! This time she came on & she looked pregnant - yes, she is - 5 months to be exact!! She looked as happy & jolly as ever, cracking hilariously funny jokes, making Ellen laugh most of the time! She was talking about how she plays different characters according to the type of wig she puts on at home. So she demonstrated a couple of them and it was so funny! She told Ellen that she & her husband conceived via in-vitro fertilization; complained that she wasn't forewarned about the stuff she has to go through while being pregnant, like, wetting her pants all the time due to loss of bladder control! Ellen responded, "We'll check your chair when you're gone, then. We'll probably have to put a plastic cover on the sofa for you the next time!" Sherri exploded into fits laughter & so did the audience! Obviously both gals like each other very much. That's very cool! Sherri has a movie coming out, co-starring alongside Queen Latifah in "Beauty Shop." She commented that while the cast members of the movie earned a lot of money for making this movie, she just thanked the Lord that she's got a job! Hilarious! Ellen gave Sherri a Sony DVD handycam so that she & her husband could keep Ellen updated with her pregnancy. How cool was that, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, everyone!!! That was the show's theme today - everything was green! Ellen wore a green-striped shirt underneath her pantsuit. And of 'coz she was doing her Irish accent all throughout her monologue... well, her version of the Irish accent, anyway! She talked about the genesis of St. Patty's Day, making up some stuff along the way as well! Funny!
• In the spirit of celebrating St. Patty's Day, the Looky Loo had Colin Farrell's picture on it since, as you know, Colin's 100% Irish! What a way to pay homage to the Irish, eh laddies?
• Guess what, apparently the folks at an animal shelter in Portland name the animals by celebrity names!! Ellen found out that a cat at the shelter was named "Ellen DeGeneres"!! So of 'coz she had to call the shelter! She also wanted to find out how to help the shelter have "Ellen DeGeneres" adopted. Alas, when she called, she was told that "Ellen DeGeneres" had just been adopted today! Cool! So Ellen asked if she could call the new owner of the cat. She got permission 'coz later on the show, she called up the owner of "Ellen DeGeneres"!! How about that, huh? That's actually a good way to name the animals at the shelter 'coz it does help when they're called "Ellen" or "Tom Hanks" and what have ya! Good ol' Ellen, who's a big animal lover, also volunteered to help out the shelter in Portland by putting their info on the show's website, just to get people interested in adopting animals from shelters to contact them through her website since the shelter doesn't have one. Thanks, Ellen!

Ellen welcomed back John Stamos to the show. He came on and started doing a little "Riverdance" move! When he sat down & saw Colin Farrell's picture on the Looky Loo, he jumped, pushed it away from him, at the same time exclaimed, "Oh! I don't wanna be impregnated by him!" And the crowd was like, "Awww....!!!" He continued, "Well, doesn't he impregnate a lot of people..?! " Again the crowd went "Awwwwwwww!!!" like he wasn't supposed to say mean things about Colin!! Ellen then, to Colin's defense, responded to his remarks, "You have no right to say that when your name was found in Paris Hilton's cell...!" As you may know, recently somebody hacked into Paris Hilton's cell phone & made her address book public which included some of the biggest celebs' names including John's. John quickly explained that he's known Paris for a long time since she was very young, so it's no surprise that his name was on her cell phone address book. But he revealed that because Paris saved his name & number under "S. John", people thought it was Sean John aka P. Diddy & they started calling him, thinking they got P. Diddy's number! So he pretended to be P. Diddy & called those people back! Then Ellen asked him about his most embarrassing moment. FYI, John's mom was in the audience (she was sitting in the Luxury Box) today. Anyway, his most embarrassing moment involved his mom!! He went on to tell the story where his mom, who likes to dance, was dancing one night at a wedding John went to, & when "The Thong Song" was playing and came to the lyrics that went "Show your thong" or something, his mom, who was probably drunk by that time, actually showed her underwear to the dancing crowd, which according to John, wasn't exactly a thong but probably a grandma's underwear!!!! The camera immediately panned to John's mom who was beside herself in embarrassment!! Poor mom!! Anyway, John has a new show called "Jake In Progress" which premieres today on ABC. By the way, John also revealed that he's a relationship guy. He was in a relationship for 10 years (with Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, if you didn't know already, before they were separated recently) & then he was in another relationship before that which lasted 3 years. So we know that he's looking to settle down in another relationship! But he's still single now. Good luck, John!

Ellen welcomed award-winning chef, Paul Rankin, another 100% Irish, all the way from Ireland, to the show to cook up some Irish-style food! Paul had Ellen help him prepare the ingredients & of 'coz she, not being able to cook, was screwing up in the kitchen! It's always hilarious to see Ellen TRY to do some cooking!

Christina Milian came on looking all excited. Ellen raved about her great voice and how she liked her video, "Dip It Low" especially when she did the dance move while singing "Pop that thing.. " Of 'coz Ellen had to ask what "Pop that thing" meant! So Christina showed her the moves and Ellen did it - very well indeed! Ellen also admires that Christina doesn't only have a good voice, but she's a good dancer, a writer and now an actor! Those of you who saw "Be Cool" in the theatres should know that, playing the client of Vince Vaughn's obnoxious character.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Glenn Close in Ellen's dressing room. Apparently, Glenn was trying to teach Ellen how to say "How dare you!" in her explosive, engaging performance. Poor Ellen tried in many facial expressions to do that line but she made them funnier & funnier each time! After that, it was Ellen's turn to teach Glenn how to do her famous "Kah!" in her hilarious facial impression! Glenn tried but obviously couldn't do the exact same thing as how Ellen did it. It was all so funny! What a good sport Glenn was, eh?
• Today's monologue was about bread pudding! Yes, apparently Ellen loves bread pudding...can't get enough of it! What's not to like, Ellen asked. It's a combination of bread, which she loves, and pudding, which enjoys as well! Slap them together & it makes a delicious food creation! But not all foods can be combined to make a delicious one, like, she said she likes lobster and ice-cream, but that doesn't mean it'd be good if combined together!

Five-time Oscar nominee, Glenn Close, came on looking greater than ever! I swear to God, a lot of celebrities look better when they're older! Glenn Close is no exception, I tell ya that! Ellen really likes her 'coz Glenn's one of her favorite actors. Cool! Glenn was flattered & really was enjoying coming on the show 'coz Ellen made a joke which made her laugh...well, not only laugh but she accidentally snorted which everyone in the studio heard!! Poor Glenn was literally on the floor from embarassment!! Ellen was almost hysterical but told Glenn not to feel bad at all 'coz she made Nicole Kidman snort on her show as well!! That was hilarious, man! They talked about their own most embarassment moment in their lives which Glenn shared. Did you know that Glenn lives in New York, has a daughter & 2 dogs? Well, now that she's a regular cast in the new seasson of "The Shield," she has to spend 5 months in LA. So she misses New York, and her family, poor thing! Ellen asked how she got to doing "The Shield," which is her 1st TV series as a regular. Glenn explained that she's always been open for anything in terms of acting so one day she was approached by the producers for a role in the hit show & she took an immediate liking to it. She ended up having a good time with the cast & crew. The new season of "The Shield" starts today on FX.

Ellen welcomed Tori Amos to perform her single, "Sleeping With Butterflies," from her new CD, "The Beekeeper."

Kevin Pollack came on the show looking like he was on vacation in the sun or something! He was wearing a red Hawaiian-tee-type shirt & a droopy hat! He looked absolutely relaxed and happy to be on the show! Did you know that Ellen & Kevin both go way back??! Yup, they both started out doing stand-ups in that was when they knew each other. But they both hadn't seen each other for a long time so this was their "reunion" kinda thing, I guess, 'coz they got all nostalgic & talked about the old times! FYI, Kevin is a great voice impressionist! Yup, he did Christopher Walken so perfectly that if you close your eyes & hear Kevin's voice, you'd swear it was Walken himself! And he also did William Shatner!! Later, he even taught Ellen how to talk and act like Shatner's "Star Trek" characer, Captain Kirk, complete with the hand gestures & everything! It was so funny watching Ellen try to do Captain Kirk!! Hilarious! Then they talked about Kevin's latest movie, "Hostage," which he explained that it's full of twists & turns in the plot, lots of thrills & non-stop action from the beginning 'til the end of the movie! He was comparing it to "Lord of the Rings," which took 3 movies to complete the story, 3 movies for "Matrix," and 6 movies for "Star Wars," whereas "Hostage" is only 1 movie which has an end to it! So he was saying, like, instead of paying $30-60 to watch these sequels, we only have to pay $10 for "Hostage" & get all the fun & action! Hahah, funny guy, he is! "Hostage" is now in theatres nationwide. So go see it if you like action & thriller!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show began with Ellen reading "National Geographic" in her dressing room when her producer told her it was showtime. Then she found out she was locked in & screaming for help! Coincidentally, Michael Chiklis was outside her dressing room & heard Ellen. When she told him that she couldn't get out of her room to start the show, Michael did one incredible thing...no, he didn't tear down the door.. but he literally yanked it out of its wall...yes, the whole entire door for crying out loud!! Lifting the door he then threw it to the other end of the hallway, to Ellen's amazement! Then guess what Ellen said? "You're going to have to pay for the door, you know!" & left Michael looking speechless, when she walked out towards the stage!
• Today's monologue was all about librarians!! Apparently, that was one of the topics that the audience picked before! She made jokes about librarians always uttering "Shhhh" to everyone, how they always wear glasses & would give people the "librarian look" which consists of them peering through their glasses in a way that you know you're making a noise! Funny!
• Remember the segment, "Celebrity Babies"? Well, the other day, during that segment, one of the baby pictures that Ellen showed everyone whose parents (or someone else who sent in the picture) thought he looked like Brad Pitt but Ellen & Co. thought he looked like the host of "Hardball," Chris Matthews. Today, Ellen showed a clip of "Hardball" when Chris Matthews mentioned that particular segment on Ellen's show! Aha, so Chris actually watches Ellen's show, too!! Cool! He then put up his "real" baby picture & told Ellen that was how he looked when he was a baby! That was funny! So, in today's "Celebrity Babies" segment, all the baby pictures that Ellen showed, she paid homage to Chris, noting that all of them looked like him, even a baby girl!!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Barry Manilow sitting together with Ellen in her dressing room. Ellen told Barry that she wrote a song which she thought was pretty good, entitled "Larry" & proceeded to sing it to Barry! Lo & behold, the tune used was Barry's classic song, "Mandy"!! Gee, Ellen looked really proud of herself there!!
• Today's monologue was all about Ellen's "clean" humor. A lot of people have regarded her jokes & humor as squeaky clean, meaning she doesn't use swear words, she doesn't talk about sex or any controversial stuff which a lot of other comics do. That's the difference. However, she defended that while she doesn't use swear words as part of her jokes to make people laugh, she does swear sometimes like we all do, especially during incidents that are totally unexpected, like, if she accidentally hammers her thumb instead of a nail. The sudden pain would make her shout out the swear words! Well, we sympathize 'coz most people do it. Then she wondered why there are some people who just won't swear, no matter what. Even in the midst of pain or anything, those people would rather use another expression to replace the swear words, or would put the "ing" after the swear word, like it's gonna neutralize its impact or something! How true 'coz God knows how often we hear those "ing"s tagged on to swear words including harmless expressions that people use to replace the typical ones, like, "fudge", eh? Anyway, Ellen rambled on about swearing & couldn't help but mentioned Colin Powell, Hollywood's baddest boy with the foulest mouth yet! She complained that when Colin was on her show, he kept swearing non-stop even despite having to be fined for the behavior! In the end, it was for a good cause 'coz all the fines from Colin were donated to charity. Ahhh, what a oxymoron, eh? But Ellen quickly reassured everyone that she's not mad at Colin 'coz who could stay mad at him 'coz he's so cute, eh?! Well, nice save, El!

Barry Manilow sang one of his songs before sitting down to have a little chat with Ellen. Boy, believe it or not, it was Barry's 3rd visit to Ellen's show! He must really like Ellen, eh? Anyway, they talked about Barry doing his show in Las Vegas. She asked if he gambles while he's in Vegas & Barry looked at her & went, "I don't know how to do...anything!" Ellen was like, "Nothing?" She then asked if he played any sports. He was like, "I'm from New York, I live in New York. So sports aren't big there. If you see someone holding a tennis club, you know he probably stole it from somewhere!" Ellen quickly pointed to him, "Well, now we know you really don't play any sports 'coz you don't even know it's called a tennis racket, not a tennis club!" Barry then replied, "I'm a musician! I can't do anything except write music!" Poor ol' Barry! He was adorable! Then he sang another song at the end of the show.

Ellen welcomed Maria Bello to the show. She came on wearing something quite different & unusual. At first glance, it looked like a Buddhist nun's outfit, except for her capri pants! Her hair was all pushed back with a head band. And guess what, the first thing Ellen asked was about her outfit! Yup, she actually had on a top similar to a Buddhist nun's outfit, except that it costs a lot!! And Ellen commented on her hair, saying that it looked good on her & said that she could never pull that off 'coz she'd always think that it's time she washed her face 'coz she puts a headband on when she washes her face!! But she quickly reassured Maria not to take it as a criticism, only as a compliment 'coz Maria could pull it off so nicely with the headband! It was funny 'coz they were both very comfortable with each other. Then Maria asked everyone to do her a favor - if anyone has tickets to the Eagles game, she needs tickets for her dad and brothers! Ok, with that, you know that she's from Philadelphia & obviously she & her family are into football! Ellen then asked Maria about her recent bonding moment with her dad. Maria explained that she & her dad decided to do something together one day & guess what they did? They both went to get themselves a tattoo!!! WOW!! Not only did we find out that Maria & her dad have a close relationship but her dad, being 60 and all, is so cool! Yup, Maria was very proud of her dad when she said, "Yeah, my dad's cool!" Her dad's tattoo is a shape of the logo of the Phily football team, The Philadelphia Eagles. Ellen then asked what & where Maria's was which she didn't reveal, only that it's a tiny little one, somewhere! Then she in turn asked Ellen if she has a tattoo. Ellen quickly said "No!" which made Maria curious who responded, "Why? Commitment? You're afraid to commit?" Ellen was like, "No, it's the pain..."!! Interesting to mention that Ellen was wearing a ring anymore in this episode. Back to Maria, they talked about her new movie, "Assault in Precinct 13". Ellen asked if she went to the premiere to which Maria said that there wasn't one. So her family went to see it in Phily when the movie was in theaters on its 1st day. Then Maria got a call from her Mom telling her that they were very upset about the movie 'coz apparently in the beginning of it, something pretty bad happened to Maria's character. Her mom confessed that she'd rather see her character getting nude than seeing her get hurt or anything in movies!! That was hilarious!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show began with the camera panned to Ellen in her dressing room. But this time, it was different. We saw Betty sitting on the couch & Ellen was sitting with her back to the camera, on a tiny little chair in the corner!! When someone outside her dressing room yelled that it was showtime for Ellen, Betty shouted back, "Ellen's having a time-out.."!!!! Ellen turned to her mom & gave her such a doggy-eyed look that Betty ended her time-out right there, thus prompting Ellen to give her a big smooch of thanks!!
• Ellen's monologue was all about hair conditioner! Yup, she wondered why there are so many kinds of conditioners today! She confessed that she's used probably most of them 'coz as you know, she hates products being put/sprayed into her hair. So every time after she's done with her show, she goes home to wash her hair off of those nasty products. So anyways, she's constantly trying to find an ultimate conditioner that'd retain the health of her extremely treated hair since being in the public eye a long time ago. Anyway...

Ellen couldn't believe Mel Gibson was on her show today!! Mel came on donning a grey beard, looking laid back as always. But he looked so much older! Must be all those fights that he had to go through about his hugely successful but deeply controversial movie, "The Passion of the Christ", eh?! Anyway, he sounded a little nervous about chatting but was a good sport, answering all of Ellen's questions. Ellen seemed very poised and ready to interview Mel, taking care not to screw it up! Yes, she does have different attitudes toward her guest interviews. I guess 'coz Mel, is a hugely powerful movie star in Hollywood. Hence, I think, Ellen tends to be a little more careful with how she interviews. And she did a great job 'coz Mel wasn't as chatty (but still funny & friendly) as what her questions required, & she covered it pretty well! Anyway, Ellen asked about Mel's 7..yes, SEVEN children!! Yup, they range from 5 years-old to 24!! Ellen looked so amazed 'coz she wondered if the youngest gets along with the oldest one, which Mel said they do! And can you believe that Mel bought an entire island for him & his family??!!! WOWWWW!! Now THAT's what we call POWER, man!!! Ellen also asked what Mel was planning for his upcoming 25th wedding anniversary with his wife, which he refused to reveal 'coz he wanted it to be a surprise for himself, too! And Ellen announced that Mel's daughter is getting married! Mel then told everyone about his daughter's soon-to-be hubby who was so sweet. He went to see Mel in Italy while shooting "The Passion" and they were both sitting on the roof one day when he asked Mel for his daughter's hand! Wow, talk about respect & old-school, man! Anyway, being Mel, who's known to play tricks on just about anyone, then told him that he'd have to prepare a dowry consisting of a few animals (donkey, chicken, ducks, cats, dogs...) first. And the next thing he knew, this guy actually brought all those animals into his office one day (except for the donkey 'coz he probably couldn't get him to go up the stairs to the office!)!! Mel was like, "How can you not love this guy & have your daughter marry him if he can treat the trick as such a serious thing?!"

Ellen then asked about "The Passion Recut". Mel explained that since the original version was released, he'd received a lot of mail telling him that they couldn't go watch the original because some scenes were very graphic & violent. So, Mel decided to re-edit the movie to eliminate the 5-6 minutes that were deemed too graphic or too violent. This is because he wants to reach out to a wider audience. He obviously wants every single soul in the world to watch it. Anyway, "The Passion Recut" will open in theatres this Friday. Also, worth mentioning is Ellen's big gift to Mel & his big family - "Ellen" beach towels, "Ellen" hats, a big-ass suntan lotion - all these were placed in a gigantic shopping bag!!! And guess what, Mel also brought Ellen gifts!! Aww, how sweet!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show began with Ellen singing (yes, she was!) in her dressing room, imitating Toni Braxton in one of her songs & using a hairbrush as a mic! She seemed to be really into it until she was quietly interrupted by none other than today's guest, Penelope Cruz who uttered to her, "Uh, I need my hairbrush back..."!! Hilarious moment right there!
• Ellen's told everyone about what happened to her in her office this morning. Apparently there was a fly buzzing around her office all day & she couldn't get rid of it! She was wondering if flies like her or something 'coz flies seem to be buzzing around her all the time! She gave an example of old episode of her show where she was chatting up with Tony & all of a sudden she waved her hand right in front of her face & went, "Whozzat?! Hey, there's a fly in my eye!" That was a funny episode indeed!
• Remember the "Babies Who Look Like Celebrities" & "Pets Who Look Like Celebrities" segments? Well, recently she thought of "Objects That Look Like Celebrities" but alas, she didn't get much response from viewers. So today, she urged everyone to send in pictures of objects that viewers think they look like celebrities. She told everyone that so far, she only received 1 picture! So, if anyone of you is interested in sending in pictures of objects that look like celebrities, do humor Ellen & send them to her now, eh?
• Ellen announced that Tara Reid still hasn't gotten in touch with her or her crew about the potential boyfriends that Ellen found for her. So, Ellen's "Search for Tara Reid" continues...
• Today was "Guess the Mystery Word" day and Penelope Cruz was supposed to do the guessing & Ellen would have to try to get her guest to say the mystery word which was "Control" so that the audience could get a gift!

Ellen was very excited to welcome Penelope Cruz on the show. The Spanish actress came on dancing very provocatively to the great music that Tony spun, while Ellen joined in with her! That was a great moment, folks! Guess what, Penelope & Ellen donned the same colored top - dark brown! Cool! Penelope immediately settled down and without a hitch, started chatting with Ellen very comfortably, which was a little surprising since her public persona has always been very cool and quiet. Not so after appearing on Ellen! The first thing she said to Ellen was that she thought it was fun to come on Ellen's talk show as opposed to the others since Ellen's show is the only show where people just dance! Ellen confessed that before Penelope came on the show, she was worried that she might not understand her because of her heavy accent but after hearing Penolope talk, she immediately felt at ease. Penelope felt a little embarrassed & admitted that it's been hard for her 'coz she didn't learn English when she was a kid. As you know, it's easier to learn a language when you're still a kid as opposed to an adult. Plus, Penelope confessed that she knows 4 languages - Spanish, Italian, French, & English. While Italian was seamless to her 'coz it's pretty close to Spanish, & she learnt French when she was a kid, she didn't have any problem pronouncing certain words. Whereas, it's been a little harder for her to master English 'coz she didn't learn it until much, much later when she was an adult already. At the mention of knowing 4 languages, Ellen expressed her amazement 'coz she doesn't know any other languages apart from English. She started to talk in some kind of accent which prompted Penelope to ask, "Oh, is that an Italian accent? " Ellen looked at her mischievously & replied, "No, I'm actually doing an Irish accent!" which was so not Irish!! Poor Ellen, she really can't do accents! Speaking of Italian, Ellen mentioned Penelope's new movie, "Don't Move," which is an Italian film & expressed her amazement at how Penelope could do an entire movie in a foreign language! Penelope expressed how much fun she'd had making that movie. In addition, she's also done a French movie as well!! Talk about a totally international actor!! Ellen was raving about her upcoming movie, "Don't Move," after only watching some clips of it & vowed to watch it tonight. Penelope was very happy about the movie & had great fun doing it with her co-star who also wrote & directed it, and urged everyone to go see it this Friday.

Ellen found out that Penelope & her friend, Salma Hayek, recently experienced a near-death experience. Penelope then explained what happened. It was during their plane ride for their movie where all of a sudden the plane lost control and it dove down so fast that she thought the plane was going crash. It nearly did! The plane had to have an emergency landing & the way it landed was also very scary indeed 'coz of the sudden descent from a high altitude & they had to land in a remote area! By that time, the oxygen masks were released but Penelope was so hysterical she just kept screaming. She confessed embarrassingly that she was the only one screaming her lungs out! Poor gal! Now, all this while as Penelope was describing her horrible experience, Ellen was trying to get her to say the mystery word, to no avail, 'coz Penelope kept using another word for it!! It was so funny! Then after the commercial break, before Ellen could finish asking Penelope a question that would require she to utter the mystery word, Penelope simply shouted, "Control"!! Ellen explained that during the commercial break, Penelope knew she screwed up so she kept guessing what the word was! Very, very funny indeed! Then, before Ellen let Penelope go, she asked her to demonstrate a dance scene from her movie which she apparently invented herself just to accentuate the scene based on her character. Penelope called it a dance without any rhythm - anti-rhythm, she called it! So she immediately did it & boy, it was such a funny sight 'coz Penelope simply went wild with her moves & motioned Ellen to join her, too! She did & my gosh, it was one of the most hilarious sight ever! Who knew Penelope would be such a great sport, eh?

Carson Daly came on with a cast on his right leg, limping toward Ellen with a stick! He quickly explained that he was so excited to be on Ellen's show that last night, he accidentally broke his leg! Alas, that wasn't true at all 'coz when he sat down, the cast just came right off!! Ellen was like, "You'd do anything to get out of dancing on the show, huh?" They talked about Carson's hosting gig on MTV's "Total Request Live" & his recent talk show, "Last Call With Carson Daly". Carson admitted that while he did enjoy his time on "TRL," it was a totally different experience with his talk show. On "TRL" he constantly had to shout his lungs out to talk 'coz there would be scores of screaming fans all the time when celebrities came to the show. So, his interviews with his guests would be very short. In contrast, on his talk show, he really has to think of something to fill the space when his guests come on! Sometimes he'd run out of things to say or talk about! Then Carson played a game with the audience called, "Humdinger," where he had to guess what song the contestants were humming. It was so damn funny 'coz the 2nd contestant was trying to hum Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" but because she had to hum the chorus (you know how the chorus goes!), her hums sounded like howling dogs! Carson had a hard time guessing it & Ellen remarked, "You'd better guest fast or the dogs are gonna come!" Hilarious, man!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Bruce Willis dashing through the hallway & burst into Ellen's dressing room exclaiming that they've been taken hostage! Ellen just looked at him and went, "No, I'd asked for postage, not hostage!" Gotcha, Bruno boy!!
• Ellen was in a jolly mood today, & a good reason to be! She revealed that she just had a procedure done this past weekend, which she was sure that people had read in the news or read the headlines or news crawlers all last week! She confessed that she meant to tell everyone on the show about it but the news outlets beat her to it! She immediately turned her medical condition into humor! Good for you, Ellen! She revealed that her doctors found 3 polyps and swore that she never would have known about it had she not gone for her routine medical check-up! She then reminded everyone that we should all have regular medical check-ups routinely, regardless of whether we feel that we're healthy or otherwise. Good advice, Ellen! Anyway, she underwent the procedure of removing the polyps this past weekend with no problems. So now she's totally recovered & she celebrated with everyone in a lavish dance routine, not only dancing with the audience in the studio but also with the folks in the Riff-Raff Room! Cool! Congratulations, Ellen, for the good news about your health & such a speedy recovery!
• Ellen also reminded everyone that March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month. She joked that it meant that this month is when we should all remind ourselves that....we all have a colon!! Oh, wicked Ellen, you!
• Remember the episode when Tara Reid was a guest on the show and she expressed that she was actively trying to search for a boyfriend? And Ellen volunteered to help her out? Well, so far Ellen & Co. have found her 6 potential boyfriends but the bad news is, as Ellen announced, Tara is nowhere to be found! Her show has called her many times but Tara hasn't returned their calls! Uh-oh!! Perhaps Ellen's contestants have scared her off or something?! Well, we won't know until Ellen herself eventually finds the suddenly elusive actress. Instead of naming this whole thing as "Tara Reid's Search For Love," Ellen decided to rename it "Search For Tara Reid"!! As the saga continues.....!

Ellen was very excited to welcome Bruce Willis to the show. But a blooper happened just as Bruce was walking towards the stage! Yup, he missed a step or two and tripped over!!! Aww, it was hilarious (sorry, Bruce!) 'coz there he was walking cool and collected from backstage but then...oops!!! Ellen was trying not to laugh & I'm sure Bruce was very embarrassed by it so Ellen didn't even mention anything about it when Bruce finally sat down! Uh-oh... Anyway, Ellen revealed that she'd tried to get Bruce to be on her show 2 years ago when her show was about to start! She remembered about asking him at a party they both went to & Bruce asked who her 1st guest was going to be & Ellen told him that he could be her 1st guest. Then he never returned her call!! Awww, poor Ellen! But Bruce quickly justified that he didn't want to come on the show 'coz he didn't have a movie to promote! Ellen then told him that he didn't necessarily have to have a movie to promote 'coz a lot of the big celebs that have been on the show just dropped by at their own choosing 'coz they wanted to. Bruce, obviously embarrassed by it, then told Ellen that when he arrived to the show's set backstage & saw the photos of huge celebs hanging on the wall, he was really intimidated by it all. So, it goes to show that Ellen can get any huge celebrity to be on her show - you go, Ellen!!

They then talked about Bruce's family. Ellen was amazed at how close he & Demi Moore along with their kids are together even after a divorce. Heck, they don't even have problems hanging out with each other's new love interests. Take Ashton Kutcher for example, Ellen was impressed at how Bruce & Ashton are. Bruce agreed & told everyone that they hang out together, go to trips together & all that. Very cool, Bruno, very cool indeed! Ashton, as you know, is Demi's boyfriend for a pretty long time now. So Ellen hailed & raved about how together Bruce and his family are and that they really set a good example for divorced couples with kids because both Bruce & Demi, even divorced, decided to put their kids first. That's fantastic. Ellen also found out that Bruce's daughters have the right to choose his girlfriends, believe it or not! Bruce shyly explained that his prospective girlfriends have to pass his kids' test. His 11-year-old daughter, Taloola, is apparently the tough one. He remembered one day when he took a gal to a dinner with his daughters, Taloola whispered in his ear halfway through, "I don't think this one is going to work out, Dad"!!! Very funny!! Taloola obviously makes Bruce a proud dad 'coz he told Ellen that at such a tender age, she's very together. For instance, she's a girl scout so one day when she was selling girl scout cookies, she went to Bruce and suggested that they sent some girl scout cookies to the troops in Iraq. And guess what, they ended up sending 38,000 bars of girl scout cookies to the troops!! What a trooper she is!! Amazing! Anyway, Bruce revealed that he's still single and is looking for a girlfriend. Shocking but true, I guess! Anyway, you can catch Bruce in action in his upcoming movie, "Hostage," which opens on Friday. His next movie is "Sin City" which will come out soon.

Constance Marie came on - well, I should say, danced her way toward Ellen. And what an amazing dancer she was!! Then we found out that Constance started out as a dancer! She revealed that she used to do breakdance on Venice Blvd. to earn a buck or two. So she was struggling until she was spotted by some people who were looking for dancers for David Bowie's tour!!! Yup, she bagged it & before she knew it, she was flying 1st class & dancing with David Bowie!! Woohoo!!! What a story, indeed, eh? Ellen then made her demonstrate one of her dance moves called a "lock" & wow, she was fantastic! Then they talked about how she & Ellen first met - which was in a spa! Aha!! Constance was on the treadmill & together with everyone else, was watching E! True Hollywood Story about Ellen!! And when she turned, she saw Ellen on a treadmill (or an exercise bike) right there!!! She was too shy to say hi 'coz it was too weird 'coz there she was watching Ellen on E! True Hollywood Story and the real Ellen was right beside her!! But eventually they officially met..well, it was..in the steam room when they were both naked (well, with a towel, of 'coz!)! Of 'coz the audience erupted & Constance yelled that Ellen looked fabulous!! Very funny indeed! Constance is now on ABC's "The George Lopez Show".

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today, Ellen was all gay (no pun intended!) & happy when she came out to greet the audience. She was in a good mood & so was the audience! She started talking about what happened to her this morning when she looked out her window at home while sipping her cuppa Joe & found a couple of ducks taking a dip in her swimming pool! You know by now that Ellen simply loves animals, so it's no wonder why every time she spots an animal by her house (or anywhere for that matter!), her mood changes for the better! Good for her & well, good for us too, eh? Anyway, she rambled on about the ducks, that she knew instantly that they were a couple 'coz she knew what a male duck & a female duck look like! She obviously was very engrossed in watching those quackies enjoying the warm pool until she accidentally scared them away! Boo hoo! Poor Ellen! So, in addition to doing her infamous owl sound, "Hoo-hoo," she did her new animal sound, "quack-quack", very well, I might add!
• Remember the other day when Ellen told everyone that some people e-mailed her criticizing the metal tree (a sculpture) located right behind her when she does her daily monologue & asked that it be removed? Well, after that episode, her show was flooded with e-mails telling her to leave the tree sculpture where it was instead of removing it! Ok, you're damned if you do, damend if you don't, right, Ellen? Nevertheless, the tree sculpture was back to where it was before...right behind Ellen when she spoke to the audience today! Good, we should just accept the fact that we can never please everyone, so go with the flow, Ellen, I'd say!

Ellen welcomed back Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson who was spotted with a great tan! Dwayne explained that he finally had some R&R time when he took his family back to Hawaii, hence he looked well-rested today. Well, with that tan, you'd think that he spent some productive time basking in the Hawaiian sun, right? Wrong! He & his family actually spent more time watching TV than anything else! Well, at least he gave us the impression when he explained his R&R method! Ellen was like, "You went all the way to Hawaii to watch TV?!" Guess the Johnson family is a TV buff, eh? They then talked about Dwayne's 3-year-old daughter whom he simply adores. He proudly told Ellen that her daughter's favorite movie is "Finding Nemo"!! Ellen, obviously flattered by that, said, "NOW your daughter is TRULY wonderful!!" They talked about Dwayne's new movie, "Be Cool." He expressed that he had a great time making it & was honored to be acting beside such heavyweights like John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel & Vince Vaughn. So obviously he was proud of the movie. But he had a blooper moment though 'coz he started describing his character in the movie & I think he revealed something which I'm sure the movie producers had wanted to keep as a surprise to viewers. Now did he realize that after blurting it out, we'll never know! But since he revealed it already, and if you wanna know....well, don't wanna be a spoiler here, so perhaps you guys who're curious should just go check out the movie! Looks funny and did pretty well in the box office this past weekend!

Ellen then brought back Dwayne's favorite food - on his last visit to the show, Dwayne told Ellen that he loved glazed donuts, especially those from Dunkin' Donuts. But his latest love of donuts is the type that's from Hawaii called, "Malasada". Sounds delicious, eh? But wait 'til you find out what it really is....it's basically a glazed donut with no holes, topped with powdered sugar AND ice-cream!!!! I smell CORONARY!!!! Anyway, sweet ol' Ellen actually made him one on the show!! My gosh, you should've seen Dwayne! At first, he was all trying to be polite and dainty, using the fork & knife but because of the sheer height of the serving (just imagine a thick layered glazed no-holes donut & you have to put powdered sugar AND a scoop of ice-cream on top of it) he gave up & in a jiffy, he swooped up that nasty lil' thing and dive in on it - CHOMP!!! Hmm..yum!!! You can catch "The Rock" in "Be Cool" now showing in theatres near you.

Ellen welcomed Vanessa Marcil back to the show. She came on wearing very comfy tee & denim jeans with high-heeled stilettos! She immediately cozied up in her couch after giving Ellen a big hug. The first thing Ellen mentioned was about Vanessa's 1st hosting gig at last year's Daytime Emmy Awards Show. But before Ellen could finish her question about whether she enjoyed doing the gig, Vanessa immediately said a speedy "No", surprising Ellen a little! When Ellen asked why, Vanessa admitted that she was very nervous. In fact, right before she had to go on-stage to open the Awards Show, she literally threw up in a bag!!! Well, according to Vanessa, she's always been a nervous person, not just in front of a big audience, but anytime she has to talk to a stranger or anybody, she immediately gets into her nervous mode. But she thrives on the stress, though. She admitted that even though she hates doing stuff that she fears or is nervous about, she gets the satisfaction of feeling the high after that, so... Ellen seconded on that 'coz she remembered that she was like Vanessa when she was starting out as a stand-up comic. She was also very nervous but loved pushing herself to do the things that she feared just so she could conquer it & enjoyed the high after that. Ellen did a little research on Vanessa's personal life & found out that she recently had a fight at a grocery store!!! Vanessa, feeling embarrassed, explained the story. Apparently, when she was shopping for groceries, she suddenly felt a whack at the back of her head. At first, she thought it was just an accident but when she turned around, she saw a woman throwing melons at her & started to run after her!! But, as Vanessa herself admitted, being a hot-blooded Latina, she immediately retaliated so she ran after that woman in return & got into an ugly "brawl"! It got so out of hand that the security officer in the store had to break them apart!! And now, Vanessa's not allowed to shop there anymore! Ellen was like, "Tell me which store it is. I wanna shop there now!" Well, the reason why Vanessa got attacked was apparently the instigator was so upset about Vanessa's character on "Las Vegas," that she had to attack her!! WOW!!! Talk about being totally & utterly addicted to amere TV show that you'd react to a character like that in public! Scary!!

Well, speaking of "Las Vegas," Vanessa talked about how she'd have to stand on apple boxes when acting with co-star, Josh Duhamel 'coz she's 5'4" whereas Josh is 6'4"!! Aha, now that's a TV secret that some people may not know! Then she talked about James Caan, whom she affectionately called him "Jimmy." Obviously she gets along very well with the legendary actor. They're so close that Jimmy is like a father/protector to her 'coz he'd call her boyfriends & threatens them to not hurt Vanessa or he'd break their legs or something! Whoa!! That's cool! She revealed that Jimmy has a big trailer where he throws parties all the time. People would have to dress up in order to be let in & he has an oxygen chamber in the trailer!!! Ellen was immediately very interested & so she called Jimmy!!! Vanessa gave her his cell which she has it on her own cell that she brought out with her. Jimmy was surprised to hear from Ellen that he initially thought that it was one of his production assistants who happens to call himself "Ellen"!! Then Ellen asked why he never invited Ellen over to his trailer parties. Jimmy actually thought he did when he was on the show last time. Ellen continued to push for an invitation which Jimmy was more than happy to accommodate. Ellen revealed that she was simply too curious about the oxygen chamber, hence her need to "crash" his party! Aww, it was all so funny! Vanessa was extremely comfy around Ellen, which is saying something since she confessed that she's always nervous when talking to people. Good job, Ellen!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• This time, we saw Vin Diesel in Ellen's dressing room at the beginning of the show. Ellen gave him a big jar of pickles which she expected him to open it right there & then! Lo & behold, poor Vin couldn't open it, however hard he tried! So, immediately Ellen notioned to him, saying her famous pickle jar line, "Give it, I got it, give it.." (Remember her last stand-up when she talked about how some people, for some reason, can just open any unopened jar that others can't? And they'd say, "Give it, I got it, give it"? Well, Ellen did the same thing to Vin!) And of 'coz she opened it...very easily, I might add!! Poor Vin!!
• Today's monologue was all about the things that people don't like on Ellen's show. Ellen mentioned that while she strives to make everyone happy with the show, there are still quite a few viewers who have very strong opinions about certain things about her show. She cited that she read some of the e-mails that were sent to her website (mind ya, she doesn't read all of them!) criticizing some stuff about her and/or her show. She gave an example of a viewer who wrote her saying that while she watches the show every day, her mom won't simply because Ellen doesn't wear any ear-rings! Well, Ellen reminded everyone that while she'd try to please everyone, if she doesn't feel comfortable or she doesn't feel herself doing or wearing things that she herself doesn't do, then she won't kow-tow to that. So some people would just have to accept who she really is as she said apologetically. Then she received several e-mailed feedback that was a little odd - this time, it was about one of the show's props! Apparently, some people are very unhappy with the tree that was placed behind her against the wall (you can see it when Ellen does her monologue 'coz it's located right behind her)! Ellen went over to the tree and explained that it's not a real tree! It's a metal tree sculpture with a fake bird! Wow, some people will never be satisfied with anything, eh? Relax, people, Ellen's show is all about having FUN!!! So, sit back & enjoy the 1-hour ride every day instead of thinking about these odd remarks to criticize about!

Ellen welcomed Vin Diesel to the show as he came out dressed in very casual shirt & denim. He's not as buffed as he was before. The first thing that Ellen asked Vin was about his name which didn't sound real. Vin explained that before he became an actor, he was a club bouncer for 9 years. He's real name is Mark Vincent, by the way. Well, he was known by Vin, then, and since he was very buffed then (have you seen those bouncers that intimidate club-goers right outside the clubs?), people started calling him Vin Diesel. Why Diesel? Well, apparently if you're buffed everywhere....you're a diesel or something! Ellen looked at him and remarked, "My name is Ellen, known as Ellen Unleaded" which cracked Vin up - Diesel, Unleaded...get it? Alrightee, they went on to talk about Vin's new movie, "The Pacifier," which prompted Ellen to ask why a buffed action actor like Vin would do a comedy like his new movie. Vin revealed that he always remembered what Tom Hanks told him when they did "Saving Private Ryan" together - always pick a film project that scares you the most and you'd find that the fear would push you to do much better. So Vin decided to try out comedy which obviously something that he'd feared to do. He had a great time making "The Pacifier" 'coz of the kids he had to act with. He revealed that no matter how tough a guy like him is, if he's placed around babies, he'd just turned into jello which he did. He had such a good time acting opposite a baby and some kids in the movie that he was surprised at the comedy he could do! FYI, Vin has recently finished doing a Sidney Lumet movie which he's obviously very proud of 'coz he mentioned it even without Ellen asking about his projects. If you've watched last Sunday's Oscars, you'll remember a clip of Vin in a courtroom looking very different (much heavier and with hair!) when the Academy was honoring the great director, Sidney Lumet. Speaking of Vin becoming heavier for that movie, Ellen asked how he got heavier & then went back to his own size. Vin looked at her slyly and muttered "I ate ice-cream...every day.." He told Ellen that he had to gain 35 lbs. & then had to lose it all. Ellen was curiously at how he lost the weight. Vin who obviously was playing with Ellen (who didn't look like she got the joke or wasn't very interested), told her that he just simply stopped eating ice-cream for a month & voila! He went back to his old weight! Of 'coz anyone with a common sense knows that it's not so simple. Obviously Vin, being the always-fit person that he is (from his background as a buffed, muscly bouncer), he'd had to go back to the gym to get rid of the excess weight! Anyway, that was the extent of the interview. You can see Vin in action in "The Pacifier" which opens nationwide today.

Ellen was very excited to welcome one of her favorite bands, "3 Doors Down" to perform their new single, "Let Me Go" from their new CD, "Seventeen Days." Check out Ellen's show website to get info on how to obtain the CD if you like the group. Ellen was excited to announce that she managed to convince the group to sing her favorite song, "Kryptonite" which was the group's famous single, which she couldn't wait to hear it at the end of the show.

11-year-old actress, Annasophia Robb, came on bearing a gift for Ellen. It was a box of cookies - well, make it home-made cookies which Annasophia herself baked! The young actress revealed that she loves to bake and she's planning to open up a business, either a bakery or a stationery store, much to Ellen's amazement! Ellen looked at her & was like, " Ok, where did you stash the little girl? Where is she?!" Annasophia sounded and seemed very mature for her age indeed! Ellen mentioned that one of her producers just checked out her recent movie, "Because of Winn Dixie," co-starring Jeff Daniels, and really liked it. There was a dog in that movie so of 'coz they talked about dogs & prompted Ellen to show everyone a picture of Annasophia with her black dog, a mixed breed between a poodle and something else! Her next movie is the much-anticipated remake of "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory." The remake has a slightly different title, "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory" which Annasophia stars alongside Johnny Depp & directed by the awkward but creative, unconventional Tim Burton.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today's monologue was about Ellen making the "kah!" sound everytime she comes out when the audience goes crazy with their claps & cheers. She clarified that while the "kah!" sound did sound like a bird, she didn't do it to frighten Tony since he's scared of birds. But just as she said that, she immediately did the "hoo..hoo" owl sound & Tony was laughing madly! Then she rambled on about bird sounds, like her "kah!" isn't really the sound of a crow (and she made a proper crow sound to differentiate them), and went on about parrots. FYI, she did have a parrot for a pet before but 'coz her dogs went crazy with it, she gave it up. She hopes to get a parrot as a pet one day, though. She proceeded to imitate the sound of a parrot singing "I Left My Heart in San Francisco"! Boy, did she nail it, man! It's official - Ellen can imitate great bird sounds...make it animal sounds 'coz she can do whales, too, remember?
• Ellen was excited to announce that her show has been nominated for ELEVEN Daytime Emmy Awards!!! WOW!! Congrats, Ellen & Co.!! She thanked everyone that's involved in the show 'coz she insisted that the show wouldn't be this successful had it not been a team effort. Good ol' Ellen for acknowledging & appreciating her crew that way!
• Remember Ellen's quest to name the new monkey species found in Bolivia? Well, today she announced that since her effort to improve the bid yesterday which was only less than $600, today, the total bid from her website is at more than $31,000!!!! Wow, that was real fast - from less than $600 to more than $31,000 in merely a day?!! Impressive! But obviously not impressive enough 'coz Ellen sadly told everyone that the highest bidder now is at more than $85,000!! So, she didn't sound very positive that she'd get to name the species but the bid is still open so anyone of you who're interested, just go over to Ellen's talk show website to check it out. Meanwhile, Ellen was happy that she could put "love" in between her name and her guests today 'coz she loves Jennifer Love Hewitt's middle name! So she called herself Ellen Love DeGeneres!
• Ellen brought in the 10-year-old national ping pong champion to challenge him to a brief ping pong competition on the show 'coz she thought it'd be easy to beat a 10-year-old kid! And boy, did she have to eat her own words when the whiz kid gave her some good spinning serves!! It was really funny to see how Ellen struggled to return the spin serves! In the end she had to fish out a huge ping pong bat & gave the boy a tiny little bat to play! But none of her antics worked 'coz the boy won in the end! Ellen handed him a big, fat trophy in the end!

Jennifer Love Hewitt came on the show for the 2nd time & Ellen was excited to see her, congratulating the bubbly actress for turning 26 recently! Jennifer revealed that she got kinda worried about turning 26 'coz to her, that's the age where she'd have to grow up, like, she'd have to start learning how to do laundry! With that, Ellen looked at her & went, "LEARN to do laundry?! What, have you been hanging out with Paris Hilton or something?"! Jennifer was in fits of laughter but explained that she's never had to do her own laundry 'coz her mom does it for her - yes, she still lives with her mom....awwww, how cute!! But she made a promise to herself that when she turned 26, she'd have to really grow up and do some grown up things! She also raved about a fantastic birthday party her mom threw her which was the exact same thing that she had when she was in 7th Grade! This was because Jennifer was always saying that she never wanted to grow up, so in celebration of that, her mom threw her a kid's party, basically, which she had a blast. Ellen gave her a surprised look 'coz the next thing, she showed everyone some really sexy & "grown up" pictures of Jennifer in the Maxim mag where she's also on the cover! Hmm, quite an oxymoron, eh? Anyway, they then talked about Jennifer's upcoming TV movie, "Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber" airing on the Oxygen channel. Ellen had a hard time saying the title 'coz it was just plain too long! Ellen was like, "Are you trying to make people stop watching it or something?" Very true! Jennifer then explained what it was about - basically a Paris Hilton-type gal who thinks that the way to happiness is to be a totally shallow socialite, going to parties, and stuff but who finds out in the end that the thing that can make her happy is the love and care that people around her gives her. It also co-stars child star, Joey Lawrence. It airs on March 12th on the Oxygen channel. So, if you're a Jennifer Love Hewitt fan, do check it out, won't ya?

Ellen welcomed Gerard Butler, star of "Phantom of the Opera," to the show. Gerard is Scottish, so Ellen was trying hard to do some Scottish accent to no avail! Gerard was so amused & told her that she sounded more like an Indian or Bangladeshi speaking English than a Scots! Man, she's hopeless in accents which she shamefully acknowledged! Gerard played the Phantom in the Joel Schumacher movie. While he sang in the entire movie, Ellen found out that he only took singing lessons just for that role! He didn't sing before! Wow, impressive, indeed. He has a new movie coming out, "Dear Frankie."

Brian McKnight performed his new single, "She" from his new CD, "Gemini." Also, Ellen managed to convince him to sing her favorite Brian McKnight song, "Back At One," which he sang just as the show ended.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show began with John Travolta, Ellen's guest for today, walking..well, "strutting," is what it was, towards Ellen's dressing room to say hi, with the classic "Saturday Night Fever" music playing in the background! And when Ellen asked where that "music" came from, John shrugged his shoulders and admitted that for some reason, everytime he walks, that music would just miraculously come on! Well, "Saturday Night Fever" will forever be lurking around him for the rest of his life 'coz that movie is like a symbol for John Travolta, like "Flashdance" for Jennifer Beals, eh!!
• Ellen's monologue today was about sweating. She didn't understand why people are treating sweating like it's a disease or something 'coz it's supposedly a natural thing! "Can you believe that having sweaty palms is classified as a medical condition now?!" she exclaimed in amazement 'coz obviously she didn't agree with the whole anti-sweating thing!
• Ellen continued with the "Dance With Me" week where people send in tapes of themselves dancing in front of their TV when Ellen starts dancing on her show. Now, something happened during this segment. As you may know, when Ellen introduces the "Dance With Me" segment, Justin Timberlake's "Rock Your Body" song plays in the background. Today, she got so carried away with the song, she started dancing again, almost throughout the entire song! That's probably because her usual dance routine after her monologue didn't pan out that well 'coz she didn't seem to be able to dance to the hip-hoppy tune that Tony put on. Nevertheless, everytime Ellen dances, the audience goes crazy!
• She then announced to everyone about her recent plea to get the donations going for the preservation of the new monkey species found in Bolivia. The person with the highest donation would get to name the new species. Since Ellen really wanted to name it "The Ellen" monkey, she was hoping to make it happen. But she was disappointed that since she told everyone about this, her show's website only got less than $600! The highest bidder was at $30,000! So, in order to heat up the bid, she decided to put her tennis shoes, some clothes she'd worn on the show, including a couple of tickets to some fabulous stuff into auction. So, if anyone of you out there is interested, just click on Ellen's talk show website to get further info.

Ellen welcomed back John Travolta to the show who came out to greet her with some real cool dance moves! They reminisced over John's first visit to the show where he was so tired they did the entire interview lying down cozying under the blanket! This time, he was much more awake so they didn't have to lie down. John uttered some French which threw Ellen off completely! She then asked John how many languages he knew. John shyly replied that he speaks English, French and German. Then he uttered something in German & Ellen exclaimed, "How dare you!" Ellen just looked at John in amazement at the stuff he knows! She also found out that John plays the violin and challenged him to play when she fished out 2 violins - one for him & one for herself. John admitted that he only played the violin for like, 20 minutes! It showed 'coz John only managed to play a few notes! And of 'coz Ellen pretended that she knew how to and made fun of how one has to hold the violin (clipping it to the side of the neck). John suggested that it could be a good tool to use the violin to hide the double chin for him & if someone would pull the skin on the back of his neck while he pushes in his double chin, it could be like a face-lift or something! Heheh! Then they talked about John's upcoming movie, "Be Cool," which is a sequel to the huge hit, "Get Shorty." John revealed that he normally doesn't like to do sequels but because this one was also written by the Elmore Leonard who wrote "Get Shorty," he felt he had to do it & was glad he did 'coz he had a lot of fun along with his co-stars Uma Thurman, Danny DeVito, Andre 3000, James Woods, et al. FYI, with John and Uma in the same movie, of 'coz there's gonna be a rematch of their hugely popular dance routine in "Pulp Fiction" in this movie, so check it out! Before John left, he played a game with 3 selected members of the audience to compete over who could do his dance moves in his many movies, i.e. "Grease," "Pulp Fiction," and "Saturday Night Fever." The audience members did pretty well - obviously John Travolta fans!

Faye Dunaway came on looking casual and great. It was the first time Faye & Ellen met, believe it or not! Ellen raved about Faye's classic performances in "Network," in which she grabbed an Oscar, "Bonnie & Clyde," and "Chinatown." Faye told Ellen how much she loves what Ellen does on her show. Then they talked about Faye's new reality show on WB called "The Starlet," which is a quest to find the ultimate star in acting. Ellen asked if Faye would have the famous line like Donald Trump's, " You're Fired" which she replied that there is but it's a little different, much closer to what people are used to hearing when going for an audition - the dreaded "Don't call us, we'll call you" line!! She demonstrated that on Ellen & after saying that, Ellen looked visibly upset (well, acting, of 'coz!)! So, if you're curious about the show, check it out on WB.

The show ended with Jeffrey Tambor doing some "household" laundry backstage! Well, if you remember, Jeffrey had wanted to "live" on the show, so Ellen & crew put up a make-believe living area for him backstage! Yup, looks like he's gonna be there for the rest of the week, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today, Ellen talked about the Oscars! Yes, she kept telling everyone that she didn't want to talk about the Oscars yesterday 'coz every other show was doing it already. She wanted the whole thing to die down a little first so she decided to talk about it only today. (Well, we all know that ain't true 'coz Ellen's show on Monday was taped BEFORE the Oscars, that's why!) As usual, Ellen talked about fashion on the red carpet, wondering why the gowns that the gals are wearing to the award shows these days keep getting tighter & tighter from top to bottom but they all suddenly expand on the ankles onward! She paused then thought perhaps they're purposely designed that way just in case the ankles of the gown wearers swell..or...perhaps to create some space for small children to hide underneath to support the movement of the gown wearers 'coz frankly speaking, these gowns are not only hard to wear, hard to breathe in, but also hard to walk in!! Then Ellen did an impression of the walk - it was hilarious! Then she commented on the low cut on the back of some of the gowns that the celebs were wearing (case in point, Hilary Swank who was spotted wearing a gown with a deep low cut on the back!). She compared that to the hospital gowns, which really is similar 'coz the hospital gowns do open on the back! Ellen then facetiously remarked that perhaps she could try wearing one of these hospital gowns to the red carpet and when people ask her "Who are you wearing?" She'd say, "Kaiser Permanente!" HAHAHAHAHH!!! Good one, Ellen!]
• Ellen reminded everyone again to send her tapes of them dancing with Ellen on TV. She showed a very funny tape of a mom dancing with 2 of her toddlers in her arms, bouncing about!! So, if y'all are interested, go ahead, tape yourself, and send in your tape!

Ellen was excited to welcome Vince Vaughn to the show, raving how talented & funny the actor is especially in his latest movie, "Be Cool". Vince came on looking very tall and laid back. He and Ellen do share something in common. Both of them like to watch weird TV game shows! There's this show called "Dance 3-6-0" that Vince is addicted to. Ellen was sent a tape of it 'coz she didn't know anything about the show before and she liked it. So, today, Vince was given a task of demonstrating what the show was about. It's basically a dance competition between 2 people who alternate their dance moves according to the request of the audience. But instead of Vince himself demonstrating the dance moves, 2 of the audience members on Ellen's show got to do it! Vince played the host of the game show and got the audience involved in it. Ellen also got Vince to talk about him quitting smoking recently. Apparently, Vince never smoked before but got hooked (not socially like most people) after doing his 1st movie which required him to smoke! For the sake of being real in the movie, Vince learned how to smoke the proper way but then, he got addicted after that! So he recently decided to quit cold turkey - it's been 5 weeks since he's been nicotine-free. Well, we'll see how long he lasts, eh? You can see Vince in action in the upcoming comedy sequel to "Get Shorty," "Be Cool," which opens nationwide this Friday. He co-stars alongside John Travolta & Uma Thurman.

Missy Elliott visited Ellen again on the show. This time, she was pitching her reality show on MTV which she created and produced, "The Road To Stardom," featuring a group of rap contestants. Missy revealed that she really got so involved in the show and with the contestants that she'd been very stressed out when things got rough with the contestants, even having high blood pressure! Yo, relax, Missy! The finale's airing LIVE next Monday on UPN.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• As you may already know, the show has a different beginning now. Now, before the show's theme plays, you see something happening backstage, be it with Ellen and her crew, or withone of her guests. Today, the show opened with Diane Sawyer, one of Ellen's guests for today, walking along the hallway backstage and started to do her usual newsmagazine-type of reporting, showing the camera around the hallway, reporting about the pictures on the wall, when Ellen came out of her room and told her something like, "What are you doing?! This is MY show, Diane! This is the Ellen DeGeneres Show!" It was funny 'coz Diane pretended like she was shocked after being "told off" by Ellen!
• Ellen's monologue today was about...yes, soup! Well, she admitted that she didn't want to talk about soup but because Diane Sawyer reminded her that 2 years ago, when Diane interviewed her on "Primetime Live" and asked her about what she'd talk about on her talk show, Ellen commented/joked that she would talk about soup! So today's monologue was dedicated to Diane, on a condition that would have to eat some soup when she got on the show to talk with Ellen!
• Ellen announced that there's a new species of monkey recently found in Bolivia which hasn't gotten a name yet. So, Ellen is asking people to make a donation. Whoever makes the highest donation to the fund related to this monkey discovery effort will have the right to name the species! Ellen's trying to make it so that she could name the species, "Ellen Monkey"! If you're interested, you can just click on Ellen's talk show website to get more info here...
• Ellen also reminded everyone that she's interested in receiving tapes of viewers dancing in front of the TV while Ellen's dancing on the show. So, if you're interested, just tape yourself dancing while Ellen's dancing on her show and send your tape to Ellen's show.

Ellen's 1st guest was, of 'coz, Diane Sawyer. Diane came on and started to do a little dancing, much to Ellen's delight! Then she handed Ellen a can of soup! In return, Ellen revealed the bowl of soup that was on the table for Diane to eat! No, she didn't end up eating it, unfortunately! Ellen had a chance to personally thank Diane for sending her a very special & hilarious tape wishing Ellen a Happy Birthday. She then showed the clip to everyone and it was hilarious! Diane, very solemnly, facing the camera, saying, "It's now 4a on Good Morning America. At this time, we do Ellen..." She and her co-host, Robin from GMA, along with a few crew members then started to dance some groovy but hilarious dance moves as a birthday wish for Ellen! It was fantastic! Didn't know Diane and the GMA posse were such good sports! Of 'coz Ellen commented on the dance moves and brought up the "dance face" (faces people make when they're dancing) which she admitted that usually people don't know they make a face while dancing including herself! Then Diane asked, "Do you have a mirror face?" Ellen looked at her like she didn't know what she was talking about, so Diane elaborated, "You know, like when you're putting on your lipstick..." The audience immediately burst into laughter! Ellen looked quizzically, "When I'm putting on lipstick?! Who are you talking to?!" Diane burst out laughing 'coz she just realized, then quickly said, "Ok, chapstick, then.." And continued laughing 'coz we ALL know that Ellen doesn't put on lipstick!! Ellen continued with her teasing and said, "You're exhausted, that's why!" Diane was obviously defeated with her mistake and said sheepishly, "You're brutal!" It was hilarious, man! Diane was such a good sport! Then Ellen commented that she still couldn't believe that she was interviewing Diane 'coz she'd always been interviewed by Diane all along and now, the role is reversed! She also congratulated Diane on the success of "Good Morning America" which has been doing very well recently. Then they both compared their extra-curricular activities during high school. While Diane was very active in different activities, ranging from social, political clubs to local beauty pageants, the only thing that was listed in Ellen's high school yearbook was tennis! And she didn't even finish it, she gave up while still in high school! Ellen also mentioned Diane's husband, Mike Nichols, & raved about his work and him being one of the great directors in the business, with his latest critically acclaimed movie, "Closer," which Ellen obviously loved. Before Diane left, she turned to the audience and the camera, pointing at Ellen & said, "Isn't she the best person in the world?!" Awww, isn't Diane sweet! Obviously, Diane really likes Ellen very much and it shows - Diane has interveiwed Ellen many times and also attended Ellen's stand-up gigs every time. That's COOL!

Ellen introduced 2 brothers who formed a group called "Nuttin' But Stringz". They're classically trained violin players. Using their talents, they started composing their own music and songs, mixing classical tunes with hip-hop! They performed a song from Usher with their violins!! It was a great, creative performance indeed.

Jeffrey Tambor visited Ellen again, for the umpteenth time. Ellen congratulated him for being a new dad AND a new grandpa!! Yup, sounds strange but that's the fact! Jeffrey told Ellen that he gets to do the 4 o'clock feeding! Obviously his task has taken its toll 'coz one night, when he was going to brush his teeth, instead of using a toothpaste, he grabbed a numbing agent that was supposed to be used on his sore knee and put it on his tongue while he put the toothpaste on his knee instead!! Ouch! What a rude awakening that must have been for him, eh? Ellen had a surprise for Jeffrey. She remembered that Jeffrey loves being on the show so much that he onced commented that he wanted to live on the show! So Ellen took Jeffrey backstage and showed him a fully decorated living space, equipped with a bed, a dining table, a sofa, right there, just for him so that he could live on the show like he said he wanted to!!! Jeffrey was speechless when Ellen announced that he was going to be on the show staying in that living space specially made for him all week! He immediately looked to the camera and had this to say to his wife, "Honey, you got the 4 o'clock feeding! Don't forget, 4 o'clock!" It was funny! FYI, Jeffrey's gonna be on Broadway this April!

The show ended with Diane going into the Ellen Confessional Booth. She went on to say, "Now that I'm in this confessional booth, I'm compelled to tell you (Ellen) something that I've never told anyone before in my life..." but alas, her confessional was cut short when the show's producer announced that it was the end of the show already & she had to get out of the booth!! That was really funny indeed 'coz it sure made Ellen and all of us wonder what she was going to reveal! Nahhh, it was just a joke!! But Diane, she could be a funny lady indeed!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• In the beginning, before Ellen started the show, she was seen with Celine Dion, who had her hair-curlers on, pretending to practice their voices! She was trying to imitate Celine with the high-pitched voice. It was hilarious! Then she quickly ran towards the audience, with Celine following behind her until Ellen had to stop her!
• Today marked the last day of "Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways." Guess what the lucky audience got? Segways worth $1,099 each!! WOWWW!!
• Apparently the always-graceful especially with the dancing Gingerbread Man who brought the daily Giveaways for the "Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways" got quite a notice from fans that have written letters to Ellen, asking who was behing that adorable Gingerbread Man suit. So today, to mark the end of the segment, she announced that she'd reveal the mystery person, or rather, mystery celebrity, at the end of the show!
• Houston's back! Yep, he just finished his part in the upcoming movied, 'Dukes of Hazzard" in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. So Ellen welcomed him back to report about his debut experience in doing a movie. When she asked him if it was what he expected, Houston remarked that it was better than what he thought it would be which made Ellen very happy for him. Then he showed p ictures of him foolin' around on & off the set with the other stunt people. No sign of any pictures with the stars of the movie, though. Ellen asked how the stars were with him. Houston assured her that they were very nice to him which surprised him because he thought they'd be mean to him!

Ellen was very excited to welcome Celine Dion to the show & had been waiting for this moment. Celine came on & talked about her show in Vegas. Ellen was raving about Celine's extraordinary voice & would never forget her performance at the VH-1 Diva show that she hosted before. Ellen then raved about her very adorable 4-yr-old boy. Apparently Celine & well-known contemporary photographer, Anne Geddes, had worked together where her son was used in Geddes's pictures. So they've just released a photo book, CD & DVD by Anne Geddes which has Celine's son on it. Then they talked about Celine's family. Apparently she's the youngest of 14, believe it or not! Her siblings would always tease her that she was the "accident" after their parents had 13! Ellen was amazed when she heard it. Celine also revealed that her dad had never wanted children. Look what he got? 14! Her siblings are also musicians. She loved her childhood. They didn't have much but they lived happily in a house filled with music, even when they were at the dinner table! They'd be banging on the glasses & dinnerware with their forks or spoons to make music. They wouldn't have enough plates 'coz it was a huge family so they'd use their same dinner plates & would turn them over after they'd finished their dinner, to put dessert! So proper dish-washing in the household was very important 'coz they were using both sides of the plates!! Then Ellen showed a clip of Celine's rehearsal for today's performance on the show. Halfway through, Ellen came out & started doing a dance impression of Celine's song! Celine was such a good sport 'coz she started goofing around with Ellen as well! After the commercial break, Celine performed a song from her new CD, "Miracle." It was a great, touching song, man!! And David Foster, her long-time producer, played the piano for her! Wow!

Freddie Highmore came on. Ellen was raving about him ever since she saw the movie, "Finding Neverland." Ellen simply loved his performance so on the next day, she told her show that she wanted to book him right away! Freddie's only 12. Ellen asked how long he's been in the acting business. He started doing minor TV stuff in Britain but then he got noticed so he grabbed bigger TV roles before landing in his breakthrough role in "Finding Neverland." He also told everyone that he was in the movie, "Two Brothers" as well which was about 2 tiger cubs who were separated but then find each other again in the end. Freddie was the boy who owned one of the cubs. Ellen, being an avid animal lover enviously asked how his experience was working with tiger cubs. Freddie revealed that he also got to work with elephants as well! He told Ellen that when the animal trainer sat down to talk to the cast about working with animals, he remembered the trainer telling him that if the elephants were to start chasing after them, they should run in zig-zag motion 'coz it'd make the elephants confused. But if he were to be chased after by the tigers, then he should trip his mate, then! The audience laughed so hard when they heard it including Ellen! Ellen found out that Freddie has a skill - he can apparently play 2 music instruments simultaneously. So she asked him to perform it. Initially he was a little reluctant 'coz he was told that his skill was not really appropriate. But that made Ellen want to see it even more! So he did - he started sticking 2 recorders into his nostrils & began playing "When The Saints Go Marching In"!!! And he played perfectly!! It sounded like he played it with the ordinary way - with his mouth!! Wow!! Now that's a skill, however gross it was! Bravo, Freddie!

Finally we found out who the mystery celebrity dressed as Gingerbread Man for the past 12 days was!! It turned out to be Justin Timberlake!! Yep, it was Ellen's favorite JT, alright! Wow, he actually did that for 12 days just for Ellen! He must also really, really like Ellen as well!! But in return for his goodwill, Ellen had to do one thing for him - she had to wear a huge white cylinder-like suit! It was meant to be signify milk because JT was dressed as a gingerbreaad man cookie, so of 'coz Ellen had to be milk - cookie & milk together! Man, JT could really boogie in that suit & he did it to the appropriately chosen song, the classic "Baby Got Back"!! Well, nothing can stop JT from dancing incredibly well, that's for sure!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today's Giveaways were DKNY bed linens & Simmons complete mattress sets.

Ellen welcomed back Jeff Bridges who's promoting his new movie, "Door In The Floor." He came on, donning a ponytail & gave Ellen a big hug. The first thing Ellen said was about his hair, wondering how long it was 'coz it was clearly longer than before & asked if he was going to keep it long. Jeff replied that he'd only cut it when he gets a role that needs his hair to be cut off! FYI, Jeff does porcelain pottery as a hobby! He brought some of his creations for Ellen. They turned out to be a bunch of little messed up faces, much to Ellen's amazement! Jeff explained that his creation was supposed to be artistic. On that, Ellen nodded quietly & didn't comment on it anymore! She mentioned that William H. Macy also loves pottery but, wood pottery, that is. Then Ellen revealed that Jeff & his wife have been married for 27 years!! Ellen was amazed so she asked where he met his wife. Apparently Jeff met his wife while filming in Montana. His wife was one of the extras. When he first saw her on the set, he wanted to ask her out but didn't have the guts to do so until one day when they were on a break, he finally managed to find the courage to ask her out only to be turned down right away, much to his dismay! But after much persuasion in other tries, she finally agreed to date him & the rest was history! Jeff then got out his wallet & whipped out 2 pieces of old photos which were apparently taken by one of the camera guys when he got turned down in his 1st try of asking her out!! Imagine that!! He's kept the pictures since then! Wow!! That's fantastic!! Yep, Jeff was very proud about it, too!

Lindsay Lohan made her 2nd visit to the show, this time, performing her single from her debut CD, "Speak!." Then she sat down to have a little chat with Ellen. Of 'coz the 1st thing that Ellen asked her about was the whole hospitalization hoopla that was reported all over the entertainment media & tabloids recently. Lindsay rolled her eyes as usual, whenever she had to clarify any rumor about her in the media or tabloids 'coz obviously she'd been asked about this many times already. But she explained in detail this time that she was hospitalized simply because of exhaustion. Apparently she was working too hard, recording her 1st album & filming a movie at the same time. She had complained to her people at that time but nobody cared & they continued to push her to do more because she had obligations. So, in the end, she couldn't take it anymore so she was hospitalized! She was very relieved 'coz it meant that she could finally get some rest in peace, even if it was in the hospital! Since she was discharged, her people have been careful, making sure that she's ok all the time. Ellen was listening very quietly until Lindsay finished her story. Then she asked, "How old are you?" Lindsay looked at her & uttered, "I'm 18." Ellen immediately replied & a concerned voice, "You're 18. You can't be hospitalized for exhaustion. You should be healthy. You need to take care of health in the future, ok?" Lindsay nodded in agreement.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today's Giveaways were branded luggage sets & the new Sony DVD Handycam which drove the audience crazy with excitement!

Finally! We saw Melina Kanakaredes on Ellen's show, at last! Ellen herself said that she finally got the multi-syllabic actor to be on the show. When Melina came, looking good as always, she brought Ellen a X'mas gift which turned out to be a big box of chocolates. Not just any box of chocolates - they were made by her family who owns a chocolate shop in Ohio. Wow, how great was she, eh? Ellen was very appreciative of the gesture & thanked her guest. She acknowledged that she & Melina didn't see each other since the Emmys. She then asked her guest if she's been preparing for the holidays yet, i.e. shopping, etc.. Melina has been doing that, of 'coz, especially when she has 2 kids. Ellen asked if the X'mas celebration was the same for Greeks (Melina's of Greek descent). Melina explained that while the celebration is kinda similar but her Greek family follows the Greek holiday tradition, one of which, is a bread that has a gold coin hidden in it. Whoever gets the piece of the bread that has the coin inside is believed to mean that he/she would receive blessings from God. Ellen thought that would hurt if the person bit on it unknowingly! Melina then explained that they wouldn't eat their bread piece first. Instead, they'd dig into it with their hands to try to find if their piece had the coin, then eat it after the coin is removed. With that, Ellen gave a horror-stricken facial reaction & remarked something like, "Ewww, you actually eat it after you've dug your fingers into it?!" Melina tried to explain that it's the tradition very good-naturedly despite Ellen's reaction. Since Melina speaks Greek, Ellen asked if her kids spoke the language as well. Melina explained that they do. Her husband speaks Greek more fluently but both of them speak Greek & English to their kids at home. Melina compared her kids to other immigrant kids because they knew their mother tongue first then they learned English. Her elder daughter, who's 4, actually terms the Greek language as her "secret language" 'coz she uses it when she doesn't want anyone else to understand what she tells Melina! Whereas, Melina's youngest kid who's 2, is still graveling with both languages. She'd start speaking Greek but would end her sentence in English! It's what Melina calls "Greeklish", like "Spanglish" or any other language mixed with English. Anyway, Ellen found out that Melina has a hidden talent - apparently she knows how to read people's fortune using coffee grounds! Melina proceeded to explain how it's done. Ellen asked if she'd do hers which she started off with something very general. Then for the other more personal stuff, Melina quietly told Ellen that she'd tell her about it after the show. Hmmm....interesting, eh! Then they talked about Melina's role in the new hit drama series, "CSI: New York." Ellen asked about those corpses shown in every episode. FYI, they're real people covered in the goriest make-up ever (because if you've seen the show, the corpses featured are usually as a result of a brutal murder or prolonged body disintegration). Melina also told Ellen that her kids are always with her during the set of the show although she won't allow them to watch it because of the adult content. But it really defeats the purpose because sometimes her kids would see those people who play the corpses with their gory make-up on during breaks, walking around talking on their cell phones. This is a dilemma, as Melina admitted, 'coz her kids are still a little too young to understand it! Oh well, you win some, you lose some. You can catch Melina in action in "CSI: New York" every Wednesday at 10p on CBS.

Ellen welcomed Mekhi Phifer back on the show. She found out that the "ER" star just celebrated his 30th birthday recently where he threw a huge party but since she wasn't invited, Ellen started teasing him, pretending to be upset for not being invited. Mekhi felt rather bad and explained that she wasn't invited because he didn't think she'd know his guests! Guess how many people he invited? Thousands!!! Ellen looked at him speechless & uttered, "Why are all my guests liars?! " She kept accusing poor Mekhi for lying about the number of guests while he tried very hard to defend himself, saying that there were that many! Anyway, Ellen then asked if there were any big celebrities at his party. Mekhi proudly revealed that there were many ranging from Denzel Washington to 50 Cent (pronounced as "Fitty Cent"). Woooo...!! Ellen immediately asked about "Fitty Cent" and claimed that she met him before & blurted some other "hip-hop" language. Mekhi was impressed and told Ellen that he'd invite her now that he knows she's "down with it"! Then Ellen asked about his son. The last time Mekhi was on her show, he had to take his son to the ER on X'mas Eve 'coz his son accidentally put a small rock in his ear & it got stuck! That had caused him to miss his X'mas play! But this year, Mekhi assured that his son was ok so he'll be able to perform at his school's X'mas play next week. Cool! Mekhi can be seen on NBC's long-running series, "ER" every Thursday at 10p.

Before the British group, Jem, performed, Ellen introduced them and raved about their talent & great songs & music. She explained that she's a big supporter of new bands and want to use the opportunity on her show to promote these bands/groups that are new but whose talents need to be noticed. Good for you, Ellen!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was all about finding a good, cool, comfy pillow, and the many different kinds out there. Some are made of feathers which prompted her to say, "Y'all know that I don't like to use anything that'd hurt the animals even if it's just duck feathers. So, I sleep...on the duck.."
• Ellen continued to urge everyone to bring in at least one unwrapped toy for the "Toys for Tots" charity and thanked everyone who'd contributed.
• Today's Giveaways were Bath & Body Works gift baskets (that normally sell for over $300 each!) & Calphalon cookware (normally sells for over $500!!).

First off, Ellen was incredibly excited about legendary Stevie Wonder being on the show. She raved about his wonderful talents & revealed that she's been his fan for the longest time, since 1974!!! Wow, now that's one loyal fan! And she told everyone that she still calls him "Little Stevie"! She told everyone that she saw Stevie performing at the House of Blues recently & couldn't believe that he still sounded so incredibly great! When Stevie finally showed up, he performed a X'mas song, "Chestnuts Roasting on the Open Fire." Then Ellen went over & sat by Stevie who was behind the piano. The 1st thing she said was "Oh, you're finally here!! I've been waiting for you to be on the show for so long!" And Stevie responded, "I told ya I'd come!" Ellen was genuinely excited to see Stevie. My gosh, if you remember, she started wishing for Stevie to be on her show back in the 1st season!! Good ol' Stevie finally made her dream come true! Yay! You could see that Ellen is a genuine Stevie Wonder fan 'coz she was so interested in knowing how Stevie came up with such beautiful, poetic lyrics, she wanted to know why it took so long for him to release his newest CD. Stevie mentioned that he'd wanted to work with Ellen on some lyrics but as he complained, "But you were always messing around. So we didn't get to do it." Ellen reassured him that if he needed help with rhyming, she'd be there 'coz as she said, "I can rhyme things like there's no other!" He continued that he's started writing something with Ellen in mind & proceeded to play a few tunes to it which sounded fantastic already! Stevie does have a fantastic gift of music. Ellen requested one of his classic songs to be played & he started doing it 'coz the audience knew what it was & started to sing to it! Then he performed another song, this time, out of his new CD.

Andy Dick had a dance entrance which delighted Ellen very much. After that, she wished every one of her guest would dance their way out, which would make it even more fun & relaxing. Well, we'll see, won't we? Andy & Ellen know each other very well, it seems. Ellen raved about how funny Andy is and has been his biggest fan. But Andy topped her compliment by telling her that she's an inspiration to him. He proceeded to explain why. He sounded very introspective, maybe becoz he's much older now & not as crazy & wild as he once was. He talked about laughter as the natural thing that people have & he was seeing that in the show's audience every day. He'd done a lot of other shows but the feeling on Ellen's show was different. He described that while laughter was originally a pure thing, but of 'coz men had to pervert it. While other comedians make people laugh at the expense of others, or say something perverted that make people laugh but also cringe at it, Ellen's comic relief was genuine & clean, pure. So the laughter that she generates from her comedy comes from within, it opens people's hearts. Wow...Andy, you're gradually turning into a philosophical person. But well said! Ellen was almost bawlin' at this huge compliment coming from Andy! She explained that she never liked making fun of other people as comic material. Andy revealed that he's been trying to stay clean about his comedy and be more like Ellen 'coz she inspires him very much. Aww, how sweet! You can see Andy in action in "Less Than Perfect" on ABC.

Stevie Wonder performed one last song to end the show.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Today's Giveaways were splendid! Every audience member received a FREE TiVO receiver & a lifetime TiVO subscription!!! WOW!!! In addition to that popular thing, each also received a very cool Toshiba home theater system. Can you beat that?!

Jon Cryer paid his 2nd visit to Ellen on her show today. This time, he danced his way out and boogied for quite a while before finally deciding to sit down next to Ellen! The 1st thing that Ellen said was that she thought Parker Posey had the best dance entrance yet when she was on last Thursday, but apparently after watching Jon's dance antics, Ellen had to admit that Jon had surpassed Parker! Jon happily shouted out to the screen, "So long, Posey! " Jon looked like he was real happy to be on the show again. Ellen congratulated him and his show, "Two And A Half Men," for being so popular and successful now. She asked if Jon was still mistaken as Matthew Broderick now that his show is so popular. Unfortunately, Jon admitted that some people still think that he was in the 80s hit teen movie, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", much to his chagrin!! We all know that it was Matthew Broderick in that classic movie, not poor Jon! Ellen asked if he had started shopping for the holidays. He told Ellen about wanting to get back at Charlie Sheen, his co-star in "Two And A Half Men," this holiday season 'coz Charlie apparently played a joke on him last year! Good to know that these guys are having lots of fun on-screen and off-screen, eh?

Remember Jerry Gordon? Well, to refresh your memory, he was the 81-year-old guy who sent Ellen a video of him playing the piano singing a song that he'd written for Ellen & also his new CD entitled, "Over 80 (So What?)" Ellen shared that with the audience last week. She also called him up and invited him to the show to sing the song for her. So, today we had Jerry behind the piano playing the "Ellen" song that he wrote just for her! He's a true fan of Ellen 'coz he said that Ellen has inspired him to write songs and release his 2nd album again. And when Ellen asked if he'd write a song for anybody else, Jerry quickly reassured her that he'd never do that! His 1st album was entitled, "The Candy & Ice-Cream Man," which was released back in 1969. Ellen asked how he came up with the title & Jerry revealed that he used to be make candies & ice-cream. Even now he's still doing it but for his grandchildren. He'll be making chocolates & candies for them this X'mas! Very cool!

Ellen welcomed Jessica Biel to the show. She's most notably known in the long-running TV series, "7th Heaven." Now she's out & about promoting her new movie, "Blade: Trinity," which also stars Blade himself, Wesley Snipes, of 'coz, & Parker Posey (who was on the show just last week promoting the movie). Ellen admitted that she hasn't seen it 'coz it looks scary!! Aw, c'mon, Ellen, it's not scary at all!! Anyway, Jessica also made a long dance entrance!! I guess everyone ones to beat the other one as the best dance entrance on the show, eh? Back to promoting her movie, Jessica told Ellen that she had a lot of fun making the 3rd (& hopefully the final) installment that completes the trilogy of the "Blade" vampire story, which is based on the Marvel Comics character.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about being invited to dinner by her friends but she couldn't eat 'coz they cooked spicy Indian food & she hates spicy food since she can't tolerate the hot spices! But her friends kept insisting to her, "It's not spicy, really!" Ellen wondered about some people who're addicted to spicy food. Then she wondered about vegetarians who really have it bad 'coz nobody seems to understand anything about vegetarians. She herself used to be a vegetarian but only lasted a year! But she maintained that everybody's different when it comes to food. Some like meat, some like spicy food. And some people don't like to dance which she immediately said, "Not me!" & proceeded with her dance routine.
• Today's Giveaways were all about glamor - Ellen gave away Kate Spade tote bags & diamond necklaces from Hearts on Fire!

Ellen welcomed back Jane Kaszmareck enthusiastically. When Jane came on, she looked at the audience admiringly & shouted, "It's like a High School Dance Party here!" She loved that fact that people were having fun on the show. Ellen asked about her X'mas preparations. Jane & hubby, Bradley Whitford ("West Wing"), have 3 kids aged 7, 5 & 2. Jane told Ellen that they've just moved to Pasadena so they're still struggling to find out where to get this & that. So she didn't know where to get the X'mas tree. They needed a 10-foot tree so they set out to find a store in Pasadena. Someone told them about a store that they could get X'mas trees from. But when they got there & found out that it charged $500 for a 10-foot tree, Jane immediately shouted to the kids, "Get back in the car! We're not getting a tree here!" So they shopped around in Pasadena but unfortunately the cheapest would be the store they stormed out from. But Jane was adamant about not going back to that store 'coz it's ludicrous for people to charge $500 for a tree. So in the end, they got a tree in Glendale for a good price, plus, the proceeds go to the homeless & addicts! So not only did they manage to get the tree they wanted, they also did some charity, too! When Ellen heard that Jane got the tree from Glendale, she was surprised & told her that she also gets her trees from Glendale. Alas, when Jane mentioned the name of the store, "Delancey," Ellen was delighted 'coz she also gets her trees from there, too, 'coz the store does charity work! So both Jane & Ellen urged everyone living in LA to go to that store to get their trees. Not only are the prices good but to know that the proceeds go to charity use is reason enough to support the store. Then they talked about Jane's groundbreaking sitcom, "Malcolm In The Middle," which is in its 6th season already. Ellen asked if she's still having fun. Jane expressed that she's having loads of fun and loves doing the show even after 6 years. She was nominated for an Emmy this year so like what everybody does in the industry during the Awards season, she took out a full-page ad in "Variety". But instead of putting her head shot in the ad like what everyone else would normally do, she decided to put a picture of her artificial hip x-ray with the slogan that read, "Vote for Jane. The Only Nominee with an Artificial Hip"!! It was hilarious! She was very proud of her artificial hip and told Ellen that she could do so much without any pain now.

Ellen did yet another random phone call right out of the yellow pages. This time it was the last name, "Holiday." She picked one and started dialing! A guy picked up and in the beginning he wasn't speaking much 'coz he thought perhaps it was a crank call!! Then when Ellen told him she was Ellen DeGeneres, he was silent for a moment, just didn't believe it, then he heard the audience's clapping & laughing & realized it was indeed Ellen on the other line! So immediately he was like, "Oh, hi Ellen!" It was funny! Ellen started asking about his last name & if he'd been made fun of, blah-blah-blah..

Jesse Metcalfe came on & the music played 50 Cent's "In Da Club." Apparently today was his birthday! Ellen proudly announced that Jesse made it to the top of US' "TV's Top Ten Hottest Men"! FYI, he was in the daytime soap, "Passions," before he got his role in the hugely popular show, "Desperate Housewives," which Ellen still keeps raving about. If you've seen "Desperate Housewives," you'd know that Jesse's character as the hunky gardener, has many kissing, make-out scenes with Eva Longoria's character on the show. So Ellen asked if Jesse's always respectful while doing the kissing scenes. He maintained that he's always respectful but not Eva & when Ellen looked at him not understanding what he meant, he went on to say, "She's been missing her Altoids breaks! " With that comment, the audience was almost hissing at him already! Ellen quickly uttered what he just said about Eva would be edited out! Then quickly changing the subject, they talked about Jesse buying his 1st house up in the hills where his balcony overlooks the big Hollywood sign on the hills. But the downside is that he gets all these tourists trespassing onto his balcony all the time to get a clear picture of the Hollywood sign, much to his dismay! He lives with his 2 best friends. They just started their poker night. Jesse was also on "Celebrity Poker" recently. Ellen kept saying that she wanted to get on that show but was afraid that it'd take too long. Since it was Jesse's birthday today, Ellen gave him the World Poker Tour kit equipped with the briefcase filled with casino chips & deck cards. She also brought in a birthday cake for Jesse!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen showed off some of the X'mas cards that she's been receiving from viewers everywhere and has started to pin them on the wall in the studio so everyone could see & enjoy! She encouraged people to send her more cards if they want.
• Today's Giveaways were Ellen's own creation of Nike bags via NikeID.com, $125 Nike ID gift certificates, and iPods from Shopping.com!

First off, Zach Braff, from NBC's groundbreaking sitcom, "Scrubs," came on, much to Ellen's delight. Even before he came on, Ellen was raving about his talents especially in the critically-acclaimed indie movie, "Garden State," in which he wrote, directed & starred in it!! Zach came on, looking as nerdy but delightful as ever. Ellen immediately reminded Zach that they saw each other at the Emmys. She remembered that Brad Pitt went up to Zach & raved about his movie, "Garden State." Ellen hadn't seen it yet at that time but she didn't want Zach to think that she didn't like it or something so she went over to Zach & said, "I haven't seen the movie yet but I heard it's good!" Now that she's seen it, she can't stop raving about how absolutely original & funny the movie is especially the writing! Zach was very pleased to hear that. "Garden State" was his directing, writing and filming acting debut! Zach told Ellen that his mom had always told him that he had to do Ellen's show & now he's on!! He revealed that his mom absolutely loves Ellen! Zach's been busy traveling around the world promoting the movie. One time he was in Australia and found out that one reviewer didn't like the movie. By that time, Zach had already received nothing but rave reviews about it so he naturally expected everyone to like it. So he was completely taken off-guard to know that one reviewer didn't like it! So that night, he & his Aussie friends were drinking and played drunk-dialing. They called up this reviewer and drunk, Zach asked why oh why she didn't like his movie! He admitted that he was pathetic 'coz the next day, after a hangover, he felt ashamed about it! But the good thing is, the reviewer has apparently changed her mind - she likes the movie now!! Ellen asked how he came up with the storyline and if it was based on his life. Zach explained that while he took bits & pieces of his life experiences & inspiration to write the movie, but he made up a bunch of stuff. Ellen also found out something - she was amazed that Zach came from a family of therapists! Zach clarified that his mom's a psychologist, his stepdad's a psychologist while his stepmom's a therapist! Ellen uttered, "You're either very healthy or very screwed up!" Zach replied, "I'm very screwed up!" He revealed that he used to eavesdrop on their patients' sessions but quickly maintained that he doesn't do it anymore! Ellen then congratulated him for picking up a Grammy nomination for the soundtrack of "Garden State." She told him that she loves the soundtrack so much that listening to it is her daily thing! Before Zach left, Ellen made his dream come true! Yes, apparently Zach had always wanted to perform magic in front of everyone so Ellen gave him that opportunity on the show! He got Ellen to do it with him. Cool!

It was another "Ellen's Roving Reporter" segment. This time it was done by an 8-year-old girl from Tennessee. Ellen then proceeded to give her a surprise call & invited her to the show!

Parker Posey, previously known as the queen of indie movies, danced out from backstage, to the music until she got to her seat beside Ellen! Ellen proudly told her that she had the best dance entrance ever! Parker was quite pleased with herself! FYI, she's dating Bryan Adams now who's been nominated for a Grammy! Parker's in a new movie, "Blade: Trinity" in which she plays a vampire. When Ellen asked her how she'd research such a role & Parker maintained that it wasn't hard, she just had to hiss & show her fake fangs. Once she walked around New York in her fangs & scared people! She also scared her make-up artist on the 1st day of the shooting! While telling the story, Parker kept doing the hissing sounds that Ellen looked at her like she was crazy & told her she probably loved doing that all the time, then! Then Ellen told everyone that she & Parker were actually in a movie together before! A movie, Ellen maintained, that she'd always forget she was in until someone reminded her! It was "Coneheads: The Movie" in which she played a swimming instructor! They showed a clip of that & then when the camera panned to the crowd full of students, we saw a very young, Parker Posey clapping & cheering her head off! Ellen found out that Parker loves old stuff, vintage ornaments so Ellen gave her a surprise vintage ornament gift! When Parker opened the gift box, she laughed her head off, saying, "Oh, Ellen, you're so funny!" The so-called vintage ornament turned out to be a small vintage frame ornament with an old picture of Ellen with mullet hair! Parker was slightly embarrassed when she said, "Oh, I wish I had somethingn for you! " to which Ellen replied, "Yes, I wish you had too..!"

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Guess what, Ellen has her own "Ellen Confessional" area now!! Yup, so this time, before she went in front of the audience to do her usual monologue, she stopped by her Confessional and started rambling! Then one of her producers had to shout out to her to remind her that she still had a show to do! Typical Ellen, eh?
• In her monologue, she talked about X'mas shopping which she confessed she hasn't started yet. But she's thinking of just giving her friends and family the "Ellen's Stationery"! Well, we'll see how that goes, eh? She kept saying that she couldn't believe we're in the last month of the year already! "I just realized this. The older you get, time speeds up. It's a psychological phenomenon! Time waits for no one. Time flies when you're having fun. So, my point is, if you're miserable and time's not flying, if you'd stop & enjoy the misery, you'd fly outta that misery!" Everyone cheered after hearing that anecdote! Thank you, Dr. Ellen!
• Ellen announced that she has just been nominated for a Grammy (yes, the music award show) for her audio book - yup, Ellen's been nominated under the cattegory, "Best Spoken Word" for the reading of her book, "The Funny Thing Is..."! So, do check out the Grammys which will air live sometime in February next year.
• Ellen is supporting yet another charity effort - "Toys for Tots". So she urged everyone attending her show to bring an unwrapped toy each to be donated to the charity for this holiday season. She was happy to announce that Hasbro, the toy maker, has just donated 250 free Dance Along Boo-Bah. She tried to demonstrate how the Boo-Bah worked but then it failed miserably 'coz it didn't do the 6 songs & dance to 11 dance routines as it supposed to. Ellen was literally on the floor laughing her head off when the toy did something really lame!! It was hilarious just to see Ellen crack up so much!!
• Today's Giveaways were the World Power Tour casino kits equipped with the briefcase filled with chips & deck cards, the Kodak Easy Share digital cameras & the corresponding docking stations.

Ellen welcomed Natalie Portman to the show. She found out that Natalie had a scary landing when she flew so she asked what happened. According to Natalie, the plane was about 100 meters above landing but then took off again immediately, without giving the passengers prior warning! So, obviously Natalie and the rest of the passengers were scared and concerned. Well, it turned out, according to the pilot, that the plane had to take off again because the plane ahead of them didn't take off from the runway on time! When Natalie heard that, she was like, "Well, wouldn't the control tower have notified you beforehand?!" So other than that one scary experience, she's a good flyer. Ellen immediately retorted that she hates flying and becomes a nervous wreck whenever she's on the plane. Anyway, they talked about Jude Law who was on the show recently. Ellen was telling Natalie, "You know, he's the sexiest man alive!" Natalie played along a little but then told Ellen that he's not only pretty outside but he's 10 times more beautiful & nice on the inside and raved that he's such a sweet guy! Awww, that's sweet of Natalie! Ellen started raving about Natalie's performance not only in the critically acclaimed movie, "Closer," which is generating Oscar buzz already, but also the indie movie, "Garden State," both movies that Ellen saw and absolutely loved! Back to talking about " Closer," Ellen asked how Natalie could do all those pole dancing in the movie. Natalie explained that while it was difficult, and it's actually a skill, she had an advantage - she used to do ballet when she was a kid. Ellen commented that she actually tried the pole dancing as a joke on the show before and thought that it'd be easy. But as soon as she tried to do it, she ended up on the floor with a thud! Ellen also found out that Natalie had wanted to become a veterinarian just like she had when they were kids! And, Natalie loves dogs, too. She has a dog which Ellen fished out a picture of it hanging out in a car. It looked so incredibly cute! FYI, Natalie graduated from Harvard a year ago! Ellen was very impressed & wondered how she juggled school especially in a top ivy league institution like Harvard, with acting! Natalie explained that she worked in the summer while attended classes just like her any other student. Wow, impressive, indeed! Natalie is obviously very smart! She majored in Psychology. While she's not planning to do anything with Psych since she's in acting but it's useful to her since she likes to observe people wherever she goes. Natalie started acting professionally since she was 11, believe it or not! She's 23 now.

Ellen showed everyone the "Behind the Scenes" look at how she did a promo of her show for a specific TV station in a specific town. But she kept screwing up her line, "Hey, Wichita, watch my show at 4 on KSN. " It was hilarious!!

One of the great directors, Garry Marshall, came on, and started slow-dancing with Ellen before finally sitting down to have a chat with the host. Ellen absolutely admires and adores Garry and was really happy that he came on her show! He proudly proclaimed that he has a new hip! Yep, it's been a year now since he had a hip replacement surgery. He has a titanium hip, to be exact and loves it 'coz he can do a lot of stuff without any pain like before now. But it took him 12 weeks to heal compleltely before he could start doing normal stuff. He added that the only problem he has with his titanium hip is when he's going through security at the airport 'coz the alarm always goes off! Ellen found out that Garry's son has started directing already! Wow, a family of directors, eh? He directed a new movie, "Lucky 13," which Garry played a role as well. Ellen also found out that Garry had a nude scene in the movie so obviously she asked about it. Garry explained that there was a scene where he had to go skinny dipping when he saw Darryl Hannah, also in the movie, swimming in the water, presumably naked! But Garry clarified that Darryl didn't have to go truly naked. It was only an illusion. But for him, he had to because of the camera shots! He also told Ellen that during the filming of the movie, his son wouldn't call him "dad" or "Garry". He'd only call him by his character's name, for some reason! Ellen expressed that she's always loved Garry and raved how he got his sister, Penny Marshall, a break by putting her on "Odd Couple" the TV series which he was directing at that time, then on "Happy Days," another TV show he directed! Then Penny's career took off with her own show, "Laverne & Shirley," which was also another Garry production, & one of Ellen's faves! She asked how Garry came up with the story of "Laverne & Shirley". He revealed that it was based on strong-willed women who were tough & could obviously take care of themselves. He remembered that he went out with this girl back in the 50s and she ended up having a brawl with another woman who apparently dissed her or something, which blew him away, literally! Imagine, during the 50s! So, that essentially gave him the insipiration to write the characters of "Laverne & Shirley" who were both tough, blue-collar working women! Then of 'coz, the rest was history 'coz Penny went off to become a director & producer of not only "Laverne & Shirley," but in unforgettable movies, like, "A League of Their Own," "Awakenings," & "Big." Garry was very proud of her whenever Ellen mentioned Penny! Well, the directing-producing-acting blood obviously runs in the family of the Marshalls, eh? Ellen also found out that when Garry's directing a movie, he'd always get the cast & crew to make floats for a parade of some sort on the set! He explained that this way, he'd make sure that everyone was working together as a team and dispel all the potential negative rumors & gossips among themselves. How cool is that?! Garry's not only good with his job but also a great-thinking manager of people!! Anyway, Garry's latest produced/directed movie, "Princess Diaries 2," will be out on DVD on Dec 14th. Garry mentioned that he wants to direct Ellen & she expressed that she simply adores him & wants to work with him as well! Cool! Hey, how about letting Garry direct her upcoming remake movie, "Oh, God!", eh? Now THAT's a thought...

Liam Neeson came on & Ellen tried to talk to him in her ultra-lame Irish language, and everyone laughed profusely! Even quiet, shy Liam couldn't help grinning! He told Ellen that she sounded more of a Scottish than Irish!! We all know, including Ellen herself, just how bad she is in doing accents. So the 1st thing she asked Liam was about shedding his strong Irish accent for his new movie, "Kensy." He admitted that it was hard 'coz he never stays in character when he's off-camera as he immediately reverts to his Irish accent but he had a good speech coach so he was in good hands. Ellen raved that he did such an excellent job in the critically-acclaimed movie that's based on the real Kensy, a controversial professor who spoke freely about sex. Ellen found out that Liam loves to chew toothpicks. Liam immediately fished out a container full of toothpicks! He explained that he used to smoke & chew toothpicks. But when it was time for him to choose one to retain and give up on another, he picked chewing toothpicks instead! Good choice! Ellen wondered why Liam doesn't put his toothpicks in those very nice holders and he explained that he doesn't like them coz they're hard for him to pull out the toothpicks. So Ellen grabbed the infamous Donkey cigarette holder, push its tail back & out came a bunch of toothpicks ready to be pulled out!! Liam was so fascinated with that toy he asked, "Can I take it home?" Cool! Ellen mentioned Liam's wife, Natasha Richardson (Vanessa Redgrave's elder daughter). They've been married for 10 years now. They have 2 kids, one's 8 and the other's 9. Then they switched back to talking about his movie, "Kensy," and his performance which has generated Oscar buzz now! Ellen has seen the movie and liked it very much. Neither she or Liam knew who Kensy was until the movie. Ellen asked if he'd talk to his kids about sex as freely as his character in the movie. Obviously he wants to but he grew up in a household where the subject was never talked about. So Ellen asked how he learned about it & he said, "In the school's bathroom!" Ahhhh.... He admitted that he really wouldn't know how to approach the subject with his kids. They're already asking him pertinent questions related to it! Go see "Kensy" at the theater in your neighborhood!

Guess what? Ellen actually got Houston in the movie, "Dukes of Hazzard" after all!! Wow!! Impressive! That's the power of Ellen, man! Anyway, Houston is in Baton Rouge filming the movie now. So she called him in his hotel to see how he was doing so far. She reminded him that he's representing Ellen & Co. so he'd better be a good boy! Houston's going to be beaten up by one of the main cast members in the movie, Sean Patrick Scott. But his scene hasn't been filmed yet. They've just done a rehearsal. Anyway, Ellen told him that she'd call him again sometime next week to check on his progress.

Ellen welcomed back George Lopez on the show. She congratulated him for losing 50 pounds!! He said that it was very hard on him 'coz he's Mexican, so he loves eating. To him, as he said, "Losing 50 pounds is equivalent to 175 white pounds!" Ellen replied sheepishly, "Really? I didn't know that!" George complained that he loves eating so much but has to really stop himself daily so much that he actually has to take Tylenol PM just so he won't eat after 7 p.m.!! With the help of Tylenol PM, he'd just go to bed so by the time he wakes up, it's morning already so he can have breakfast! Hmm..interesting diet routine, eh? Then they talked about his wife, who's Cuban, by the way. Ellen asked if she liked the new him, being thinner and all, but apparently not! She likes the old him better! Anyway, George just did a holiday TV movie called, "Naughty or Nice" which will be aired on ABC. Ellen found out that his wife executive produced it! George looked at Ellen & said proudly, "She executive produces ME ," since she's also one of the executive producers of his sitcom, "The George Lopez Show."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about the "hello" word being her most favorite thing to say. She hates goodbyes!
• Ellen noted that Amy Poehler from "Saturday Night Live" who was one of the guests on the show today, asked to sit in the Luxury Box so she could watch her do the show. Ellen knew that Amy probably wanted to imitate her in one of her SNL send-ups so she nervously requested that her be nice! Okey doke, so we may see Amy pulling her "Ellen" stunt on SNL sometime soon, eh? That'd be so funny!
• Someone sent Ellen a special gift which she shared with us. An 80-year-old man wrote Ellen a song just for her & sent in a copy of the CD & video, much to Ellen's surprise! Ellen showed the video clip and we saw the grey-haired guy sitting behind his piano & began his explanation of this special gift to her. Then he played the piano and sang the song which was appropriately titled, "Ellen"! It was a real nice jazzy song. His name's Jerry Gordon. So, of 'coz, Ellen immediately called him up to surprise him & personally thank him for such a wonderful dedication. He was at home and Ellen asked if he had recorded any album before. Yes, indeed he had but it was back in 1969. But he's planning to release his 2nd one and will name the CD "Ellen." And Ellen gave him another surprise - she sang him a song while lying on top of the piano on-stage entitled, "Jerry"!! It was funny! Before she hang up, she invited Jerry to perform on her show next week and he quickly accepted gleefully! Good ol' Jerry, eh?
• It was Day 3 of "Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways." Today, the giveaways were a 1-year FREE of membership to Netflix, the huge online video store; a portable DVD player & a DVD player/DVD carrier!! Cool!

Kevin Kline came on and Ellen welcomed him gladly. Ellen told him how much she loves his performances in "The Big Chill," "A Fish Called Wanda" & "My Life As A House." Surprisingly, they never met each other before! Wow! FYI, Kevin admitted that he used to hate his first name, "Kevin," when he was growing up 'coz people seemed to have a hard time pronouncing it! Ellen asked why he didn't use his middle name instead & Kevin looked at her like she was crazy so she asked him what it was. Kevin quietly uttered, "Delaney" & the whole audience just broke into laughter 'coz he'd have the same problems as his 1st name, too! Then Kevin excitedly told Ellen that he just joined Netflix as well and simply loves it 'coz they have virtually everything including some hard-to-find movies, too! So he was happy that Ellen gave away free Netflix memberships to everyone in the audience. Ellen mentioned Kevin's long-time wife, Phoebe Cates. They have 2 kids together - a son who's 13 and a daughter who's 10. They all live in New York. Ellen asked if Kevin's got a X'mas tree yet. Ellen also found out that his son was in a movie recently and he was very good in it. Kevin was pleased and told her that yep, he's already the breadwinner of the family at such a young age! Ellen raved about Kevin's performance in his latest movie, "DeLovely" where not only did he have to act but had to sing and played the piano as well! Kevin explained that he studied music before becoming an actor. He actually wanted to be a composer! Wow!! Obviously a creative & talented guy!

Amy Poehler from SNL came on. Ellen congratulated her for ascending her role in SNL as the co-host of its "Update Weekend" segment with Tina Fey, taking over from Jimmy Fallon. Ellen couldn't stop raving about Amy & Tina's talent in being so funny. Then they started to reminisce about Ellen hosting SNL before and talked about the craziness of doing the show live. It was very funny!

Before Ellen ended the show, she gave Tony a big surprise birthday cake!! He was in tears of shock & joy!! Then Ellen did an unthinkable thing that we're sure she was waiting to do - she chucked a huge piece of cake with icing into Tony's mouth!! And of 'coz she didn't let him retaliate 'coz she was miles away from him by the time he got back his bearings!! It was hilarious!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• When the show opened, we saw Ellen & Julia Louis-Dreyfus squatting in the corner beside an elevator playing some music instruments. Then we saw William H. Macy coming over, dropped a couple of coins to the 2 mad-caps & started playing the harmonica! Then Ellen got up & rushed on to the stage to start her show officially while Macy & Louis-Dreyfus kept playing their instruments!
• Ellen was very excited because it was very cold in LA recently because of the cold wave. "I get to wear my wool beanies to keep warm! I'd wear more hats but my head is too small." Then she talked about people wearing fur coats to keep warm. "I'm ok with people wearing fur as long as it's alive, you know.."
• Ellen announced that there are new exciting things on the website. There are new Ellen hooded zip-up sweaters, Ellen sweaters, & most importantly, the Ellen boxers that were only available to her guests can now be owned by anybody just by going to the website & order them! Cool!
• It was the 2nd day of "Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways." Today's gifts were all about UGG - yes, the Aussie brand: UGG suede hooties (jackets & sweaters), UGG suede handbags. Then there were the Swiss Army chronograph watches as well which Ellen was also wearing today!! Fantastic! Those lucky audience members!!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus came on. Ellen really likes her. Of course they talked about "Seinfeld." Apparently, Julia almost didn't take the role as "Elaine"!! She explained that at that time, she had a deal to do her own show but then it fell through. Larry David, whom she knew since her Saturday Night Live days sent her the script but she saw that her role as "Elaine" was only very small. So she wrestled with whether she should do it & finally decided to take the plunge & the rest was history! Well, thank GOD she took the role 'coz we really can't see anybody else playing "Elaine" as well as Julia did, can we! Ellen asked if she'd be stopped in public by fans calling her "Elaine" 'coz the "Seinfeld" characters were so famous. Julia remembered that when she was giving birth in the hospital & during her dire pain, in came one of the nurses who looked at her & screamed, "Oh, Elaine!" That was funny! She & Ellen then talked about being recognized at the oddest places, like Ellen gave an example of her being in a toilet stall when someone in the next stall would try to talk to her! Ellen then asked Julia about her holiday plans & if she'd started shopping yet. Julia shamelessly admitted that she does re-gifting...to Ellen's horror!! Ellen was like, "Are you proud of that?!" Julia just snickered while the audience laughed. "Have they been used? " Julia actually hesitated when asked that question! Then she quickly changed the subject seeing how her hobby of re-gifting was upsetting Ellen. She told Ellen that she was watching a TiVO-ed episode of the show yesterday & saw that Ellen was giving out the Dyson vacuum cleaners. She told Ellen that she simply loves the Dyson but doesn't have it at home. At the mention of that, Ellen immediately went to a vacuum cleaner seller mode and talked about the Dyson at great length, saying that she even owns it at home & uses it all the time! Then she told Julia to trust her 'coz she used to sell vacuum cleaners - Hoover, to be exact - so she knew what she was talking about when she said that the Dyson was a God-send! At this remark, Julia looked at Ellen disbelievingly & exclaimed, "Get out of here..!" Guess what Ellen did - she replied, "Ok.." then walked out on poor Julia!! Then, seeing that Ellen wasn't coming back, she played along & said, "And we'll be right back after these commercial messages. This is Julia Louis-Drefus, in for Ellen DeGeneres.." Everyone was laughing endlessly as the show went on commercial break & we saw Ellen walking back to her seat laughing! After the commercial, Ellen explained that she walked out to get Julia a Dyson vacuum cleaner! Awww, how sweet! Julia was very excited and happy about it. But Ellen warned her, "Don't re-gift it! " Another thing that she wanted Julia to do was to get her a picture of Julia using the vacuum cleaner since she looked like she really loved it. Ellen explained about the Gwyneth Paltrow incident - when Gwyneth was on the show, Ellen gave her a very sophisticated English baby pram. Gwyneth acted like she really loved it but then Ellen found out that none of the pictures taken by the mags or tabloids of Gwyneth pushing a baby pram had the pram that Ellen gave her! So now in order to make sure that Julia wasn't pulling a Gwyneth Paltrow, Ellen made her send a picture of her using it! Julia reluctantly obliged.

Ellen welcomed Tatiana Totmianina & Maxim Marinin, the figure-skating pair from Russia to the show to talk about the aftermath of their nasty accident that caused Tatiana to fall on her face and head while the pair was performing on the ice rink. Ellen showed a clip of the accident right before the pair came on but wouldn't show the actual fall 'coz, as Ellen expressed, it was too upsetting to watch again. The accident was all over the news where the fall was shown over and over again. When the pair sat down to talk with Ellen, Tatiana confessed that she really couldn't remember the accident at all when Ellen asked how she felt about the accident. The fall was so nasty that Tatiana was unconscious and suffered memory loss. But now she's out & about again and the pair's begun their training in the U.S. again, believe it or not! Ellen couldn't believe that the accident didn't deter them from doing their ice-skating routine! Maxim obviously was the one feeling bad about the whole thing since the fall was the result of him not being able to hold on to Tatiana's legs when she was flung into the air during their performance. But looks like this pair is as strong and solid as ever as they're continuing with their figure skating as a pair.

William H. Macy came on and gave Ellen a wooden bowl that he turned himself! Apparently William loves woodwork that he even has a shop in Vermont! Ellen liked the bowl as she likes wooden bowls made of hard wood. William then switched subject & told Ellen that he really liked watching her dance. Ellen asked if he liked to dance and he replied, "Whenever I dance, my wife keeps laughing and tells me that she loves the way I dance!" William's wife, as you may know, is Felicity Huffman, who was just on the show last week. She's in the hugely popular show, "Desperate Housewives." Of 'coz, at the mention of Felicity and "Desperate Housewives," Ellen started talking about the show, how much she loves to watch it & carried on & on with him! Poor William was looking at Ellen, probably thinking, "This woman is a fanatic!" Anyway, Ellen raved about William's acting performances, most notably his Oscar-nominated role in the critically acclaimed Cohen brothers movie, "Fargo." He has a new TNT movie coming out called, "Wool Cap," where he plays a mute (I think!).

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen came out and talked about December being the holiday season where there's so much pressure about shopping. Yes, you've guessed it - she still talked about the aftermath of the Thanksgiving holiday!
• Sitting in the Luxury Box today was the rep for CVS Pharmacy who donated $50,000 cash to the "Ellen's Thanks-For-Giving Food Drive"! Not only that, CVS also gave $50 gift cards to the audience and has donated $20 million worth of merchandise as well! Phew! Today was the official end of the "Ellen's Thanks-for-Giving Food Drive" effort & Ellen proudly announced the grand total of what it's generated - a whopping $20,459,176 (twenty million four hundred and fifty-nine thousand one hundred and seventy-six dollars!!!!) ME OH MY!!! Ellen continued to urge everyone to donate to "America's Second Harvest" which is where the donations to the Food Drive go to. People can still donate through the official website of Ellen's show.
• Today was the 1st day of "Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways" - the familiar bell jingled and Ellen perked up immediately & asked Rod Stewart to introduce it - well, not Rod in person himself but he did record his voice - he sang the theme of the "Giveaways" using the classic X'mas song, "You'd Better Watch Out, You'd Better Not Cry"! Pretty cool! Last year, it was the red-nosed Reindeer who came out pushing the cart filled with gift surprises. This year, it was the Gingerbread Man! The surprise Giveaways that everyone in the audience (plus 5 lucky online participants) got were: the Vio light toothbrush sanitizer & storage system, the Bosch coffee maker (which Ellen has it at home as well) & a Dyson vacuum cleaner - this one really caused a huge ruckus in the audience - lots of women who were moms were jumping with joy in the audience; some were crying too! Guess this Dyson thing ain't no ordinary vacuum cleaner, eh? Ellen simply loved demonstrating it 'coz she has one at home! She couldn't stop raving about it! Wow, Dyson should probably hire Ellen to be the official spokesperson at this rate! It sells at $549 in retail stores, can you imagine it? No wonder everyone was screaming with joy!!

Hilary Swank came on looking excited. Neither one of them could believe that they never met before!! Then Hilary looked at Ellen silently & then uttered, "Your eyes are gorgeous! They're so...amazing! " Ellen looked a little embarrassed but quickly thanked her outspoken guest! Hilary just celebrated her 30th birthday. She had great fun with a bunch of her friends. Ellen couldn't believe that Hilary actually won her Oscar when she was only 25! It was for the critically acclaimed small-budget indie movie, "Boys Don't Cry" which Ellen raved about her guest's excellent performance. But Ellen found out one thing - Hilary was only paid $3,000 in that movie at the time 'coz it was such a small movie. Ellen then urged her to talk about what happened to her the day after she won the Oscar. Apparently, the next day, post-Oscar, Hilary had to go to the pharmacy for her prescription thinking that she had insurance under her union, SAG. However, she found out that SAG only starts to cover an actor if he/she earns at least $5,000 a year!! Poor Hilary only got $3,000 that year so she just missed the minimum mark! Damn! So much for winning an Oscar, eh? Ellen wondered if she could've hogged her Oscar for some cash but Hilary explained that it'd be impossible since all Oscar nominees had to sign an official release that the Academy Awards commission can buy it back for $1 at any time. Ellen also found out that Hilary loves animals. Can you believe that she has 6 animals (2 birds, 2 dogs & 2 cats) and they all travel with her on location?!! Ellen was shocked to hear that. But Hilary explained that she has to do it 'coz she's on location all the time and can't leave her pets at home or she'd feel like a stranger to them by the time she returns home! Well, hats off to Hilary, man! You can see her in action in the upcoming movie, "Million Dollar Baby."

Ellen welcomed Jason Randall, the card magician, to the show. He played a couple of memory games using the playing cards which blew Ellen away, literally! Due to time constraints, Jason couldn't do much but Ellen insisted that he comes back to the show, as often as he possibly can! Jason happily obliged.

Alan Alda, famous for his TV role in long-running series, "M.A.S.H.," came on to have a little chat with Ellen. But he came one with an arm sling which surprised Ellen and us. Apparently Alan tore his arm accidentally that he had to have his right cuffs rotated...ouch! He then told Ellen that he had a part for her that'd be perfect when he was in a movie (can't remember). But apparently, Ellen didn't get the part, so she remarked sarcastically, " Guess you didn't want me that much, then.." FYI, Alan writes scripts as well as acts. He'll be seen in NBC's "West Wing" starting Dec 8th. Alan explained that he'll be in the show for a total of 10 episodes; 5 episodes this season and another 5 on the next season. He plays a Republican presidential candidate. Ellen asked if he's having fun with the cast & asked if it was a little daunting for a new member like Alan to be added to such an ensemble. He said everyone on the show was great fun. Ellen then had to ask if Martin Sheen had showed him his Ellen underwear that he was seen wearing before. Alan looked at Ellen, thinking that she was joking, "Martin Sheen wearing your underwear?!" Then he realized it was not a joke when Ellen showed him a picture of Martin in the Ellen underwear taken in the Oval Office in-between takes where we also saw Allison Janney was pointing at it! Alan was like, "I can't believe this! " Ellen exclaimed, "Nobody comes between Martin Sheen and Ellen's underwear!" Nicely put, Ellen! Besides "West Wing," Alan will be seen in the much-anticipated docu-movie, "Aviator", a true story that chronicles the legendary American aviator, Howard Hughes. Alan was raving about Leonardo diCaprio's acting performance, saying that he was so good in his role as Howard Hughes that sometimes he actually saw Leo as the real guy himself 'coz he'd seen his pictures and live documentaries, etc.! Wow, that's some compliment coming from a veteran actor! Ellen totally agreed with Alan & raved about Leo as well 'coz she saw several of his movies which she mentioned - "Who's Watching Gilbert Grape?", "This Boy's Life" & was amazed with his performance. Anyway, Alan told Ellen that he couldn't help calling the young talented actor, Leonardo da Vinci instead of Leonardo diCaprio 'coz he was just an amazing, intelligent person! Hmm..with all this talk about young Leo, will we be seeing him on Ellen's show anytime soon, eh? "Aviator" is coming to theaters on December 17th. So, we'll keep a look out, then...

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The 1st thing we saw when the show started was Ellen in her dressing room with Snoop Dogg & Betty DeGeneres - all 3 of them doing something you won't believe - KNITTING!!!! Yes, with Snoop!! And Betty was dressed in hip-hop attire - ski cap, baggy hooded sweater.. the whole 9 yards!! It was hilarious! Whatever would Ellen & Co. think of next, eh?!
• There was a clear mark just below Ellen's right eye (she did mention something about that in yesterday's monologue), it looked like she was punched or something! Apparently Ellen was having some skin problem so she went to see her dermatologist who told her not to go under the sun. Of 'coz she didn't listen so now she looks like a boxer, admitted Ellen! Anyway, her monologue today was about invention. The moral of it is that it's not enough to just think about doing something. We need to follow through what we think so that we can see results! [okay...]
• Ellen announced that the "Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways" is back. It'll start tomorrow. She urged everyone to go online as well since 5 people would be chosen to receive gifts as well as some of the lucky audience members on the show. This segment is a repeat of last year's which was very successful. So we can say that Ellen will do this same segment every year right before Christmas. So, check it out!
• Ellen mentioned that she's very lucky to be receiving gifts from her fans every day. That's why she feels that it's Christmas every single day! She expressed her gratitude and showed one of the gifts that someone gave her - a book filled with endangered animals. She liked it so much that she called up this guy to order additional copies which she gave out to the whole audience! The book is called "Priceless".
• In the Luxury Box today were 2 reps from "Dove" who presented Ellen with a $75,000 check to the "Ellen's Thanks-for-Giving Food Drive"!! Wow! Ellen told them that "Dove" is by far, the biggest donater yet! In return, Ellen presented them with a huge Thank You card! Ellen also told everyone that her friends, Jeff & Marilyn Katzenberg & David Geffen (2 out of 3 of the DreamWorks moguls), were so inspired by the "Ellen Thanks-for-Giving Food Drive" effort that they called up Ellen one day to donate $50,000!! Fantabulous!

Ellen welcomed back Angelina Jolie. When she introduced Angelina, here's what she had to say about the sexy actress, "She's attractive..." The audience immediately hooted and cheered. "I just recently noticed that..!" Another round of applause and cheers from the excited crowd who sounded like they were huge fans of Angelina! Ellen mentioned that Angelina is one of the most talked about actresses and showed her a few of the mags that had her on the cover. Angelina looked pretty embarrassed about it. And then she caught sight of one of the mags, "Us" where the headline said something about her and her ex, Billy Bob Thornton, getting back together. She looked a little surprised 'coz apparently she didn't know about that tabloid story. So Ellen asked, "Are you guys back together?" Angelina quickly replied, "No!" Ellen also found out that Angelina recently got yet another tattoo so she asked her, "Can we see it? " So Angelina shyly lifted up her shirt a little to reveal a big tattoo of a tiger with some Thai calligraphy around it on her lower back! Guess what else Ellen found out about Angelina? Well, apparently Angelina had been taking flying lessons and got her pilot license recently! Wow, whatever would wild Angelina do next?! So, to commemorate that, Ellen fished out a gift for the already embarrassed actress - a pilot jacket along with the goggles and cap for her AND her son, Maddox!! The jacket for Maddox was so very cute - Angelina was literally cooing over it and was so grateful that she leaned over and gave Ellen a big kiss on the cheek! Good job, Ellen! Then they talked about Angelina's new movie, "Alexander." She plays Colin Farrell's mother, believe it or not. Ellen asked if that was weird for her since she's only 1 year older than Colin! Apparently she was surprised herself when her agent brought her the script. But that's Oliver Stone, the director who's known for his controversial vision and uniqueness. But she pulled it off and had great fun making the movie with Colin & Oliver. "We're the tabloid's friends," Angelina muttered. Yeah, that's right. Ellen teased, "Of 'coz you & Colin got along together 'coz aren't you guys together now?" [referring to the tabloid rumors] Angelina returned the tease, "No...Colin's still getting over you.." [referring to the joke that Ellen & Colin did when he was on the other day when Ellen pretended to be his heartbreaker!] "Alexander" is in theaters everywhere now.

Ellen did a crazy segment where she was a waitress for a day at Art's Restaurant which was nearby the studio. She did some crazy, funny antics, of 'coz! It was really funny!

Snoop Dogg came on & performed his latest hit single, "Drop It Like It's Hot" with special guest, Pharrell Williams. As the song was ending, Ellen went over to them to do some hip-hop dance moves with them! COOL! Then he sat down with Ellen to have a little chat. The first thing that Ellen asked of Snoop was about his invention of the trendy "shizzle" slang words! She tried to learn some of them and asked questions! She really seemed like she wanted to learn! "I wanna be cool. I watch my BET every day!" Then she suggested some of her own slangs, i.e. "I'm creakin'," "It's tepid," & "Crawlin'" & asked Snoop to start saying those 'coz she believed that whatever that came out of Snoop's lips, they'd become trendy & cool stuff to say across the board! It was funny! Snoop was such a good sport, indeed! Before he left, he gave Ellen a present! Yep, it turned out to be his own invention of the bicycle - well, a tricycle, actually, with a very low seat! Ellen had fun with it when she rode it around the stage!!

Ellen welcomed back Robert Downey, Jr. to the show. Ellen couldn't stop raving about how talented this guy is who now has his own CD! Yep, he just released his debut CD, "The Futurist" which he's promoting right now! Ellen was genuinely happy for him for his achievements - we all know the endless ordeal that Robert went through during his drugging days. Ellen mentioned that she's not only happy and proud of him for staying clean, sober and now happy simply because he's got a great girlfriend! The camera immediately panned to the audience to where Robert's girlfriend was sitting. Guess who was sitting next to her? It was none other than Joel Silver, one of the big producers in Hollywood!! Perhaps Robert's girlfriend is related to Joel or something? Well, anyway, we know that he's Robert's producer, no doubt! Then Ellen asked when they'd get married. When she couldn't get anything out of Robert, she fished out a calendar and kept pestering him & who looked so helpless and kept looking toward his gf!! Finally, he said sometime in the summer next year. But Ellen was satisfied. She wanted a specific month out of the poor guy! I think if Ellen had her way, she'd have chosen the date for them already, that's for sure! In the end, she got a couple of months - July or August. Well, we'll see, won't we, eh? Then Robert performed one of his songs from his debut CD.

The talented, much underrated actor, Christine Lahti, came on looking as cool as ever....& TALL!! They looked like they know each other very well. Ellen was asking about Christine's famous hubby, Thomas Schlamme, one of the most talented directors on TV. They talked about Christine's new critically acclaimed TV drama, "Jack & Bobby" which is also exec produced by Tommy Schlamme who also directed one episode of it! Ellen commented that the show's great and so unique. She asked how Tommy felt when Christine's character had to make out with a much younger guy on-screen? It was pretty funny 'coz Christine mentioned that those kinds of scenes are actually good for them - makes their relationship stronger! She also said that Tommy had actually directed her that had a make-out scene once. She described that it was very odd but rather funny - after just 1 take, Tommy would say, "Ok! That's good enough. Let's move on!" Ellen asked if their kids were ok with both parents in the showbiz, not being home all the time. Christine expressed that their kids are in their teens now. They know about their careers very well but would not allow them to talk about business when they're at home. And now, Tommy is at home most of the time, so it works out well. You can catch Christine in action in "Jack & Bobby" every Wednesday at 9p on WB.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• The show started with Ellen & Colin Farrell in a room reading a make-believe tabloid paper "Daily Tabloid" with the headline, "Ellen Breaks Colin's Heart"!! Ellen pretended to console Colin and they both kissed before Ellen left to start the show! Then after Ellen was gone, we saw Colin breaking down into tears!! Awww, priceless!
• Ellen was still groaning about still being full since Thanksgiving! She talked about her aunt always making pumpkin pies on Thanksgiving. And every time she makes it, it'd take her a long time to do it. "It takes forever to make it, " Ellen complained. Speaking of pies, Ellen claimed that she used to make cherry pies but the whole thing was very messy. Even though homemade pies are great, but it's just a lot of work. "If you have any problems making pies at home, think - Sara.Lee" The audience cheered.
• Remember Ellen's Roving Reporter effort? Well, today she pitched that again to people who're interested in being the show's Roving Reporter. So far, she's chosen 3 clips to show everyone already. Anyone interested should log on to the official website to print out the "Press Kit".

The wait was over! In came Colin Farrell, the industry's "bad boy"!! And yes, Ellen & Colin both kissed....again!!! This time, it lasted even longer which prompted Ellen to say, "I'm gonna be in trouble when I get home!" They were still joking about the made-up tabloid story about the 2 of them backstage. But Ellen wanted to know if Colin had ever had his heart broken for real, which he had. He kept telling Ellen that he calls his mom all the time, for some reason! So Ellen immediately picked up the phone by her side to call his mom but when she heard that she lives in Ireland, meaning she'd have to dial international, she just hanged up instantly. Colin was like, "Cheapskate! " Then Ellen had to put this out there for us - as everyone may know, Colin loves to curse - it's how he talks - whatever that comes out of his mouth has to be accompanied by curse words. So, Ellen made a bet with him that if he cursed on the show, he'd be fined $100 for each curse word he used! The money would be donated to charity. Hey, whaddya know, huh? Colin looked like he didn't care and thought that he'd be able to do it. So the interview continued. Ellen asked about his baby boy who currently lives with his mom. Colin visits him all the time and is very excited that he could take his boy back to Ireland for Christmas this year! Then Ellen gave Colin a surprise - apparently he never likes to talk about his modeling days when he was younger. Ellen showed everyone a photo shoot of him in a 1-piece knee-high body suit when he was 19! Colin was so embarrassed that his response was filled with curse words, accompanied by the studio's bleep sounds!!! Ellen then presented him with a similar 1-pc body suit that had a clover leaf in front and also a smaller sized one for his boy to wear together! How cute! Ellen taunted him to wear it. Of 'coz all you could get from Colin were curses!! All of a sudden, the total fine was $400!! It was so funny!!

They talked about Colin's new movie, "Alexander." He mentioned that his role as Alexander the Great was his toughest role yet. He had to go through boot camp for 3 weeks with 170 other men in Morrocco. As he was explaining, of 'coz, he used curse words again without realizing it, so he was fined another $200! Ellen was wondering, since Colin smokes a lot, if he tried to quit smoking especially while he was in training where he'd have to run, jog, exercise. No, he didn't but tried to not smoke until after his jog every morning, though! Then Ellen asked about a rumor that he got a black eye from Rosario Lawson who played his 1st wife in the movie during a sex scene. Colin explained about the whole scene and how he told Rosario to just give him a real hard slap on his face. And so she did! Lo & behold while he was explaining that, he carelessly blurted a couple of curse words, so the studio's bleep sounds came on, surprisingly him and he was pleading, like, "No! No! I didn't...!" Yep, the total now came to a whopping $800 in just a few minutes on the show!! Boy!! Well, that's just the thing - it's hard when you're so used to saying the curse words like an everyday language, you know. Poor Colin! Now, another revelation about the Irish superstar - apparently Colin used to a line dance instructor in Ireland!! Gee leweez!! Well, Ellen couldn't miss this chance so she asked Colin to demonstrate some moves along with 3 lucky people picked from the Riff-Raff room! Boy, when those 3 women were picked, they were screaming so much it's incredible! Colin had to demonstrate it first and because the moves involved a certain anatomy of his body, the whole audience just went crazy when he shook it!! He was so embarrassed that he couldn't help cursing! So, by the end of Colin's interview and everything, he was fined a grand total of $900!! Phew! Poor ol' chap!

As if having Colin Farrell on the show wasn't enough, Ellen was more than excited to welcome Lenny Kravitz who performed a song from his new CD, "Baptism." Then he sat down briefly with Ellen to chat a little. Ellen asked him about his ever-chaning hairstyles. Right now, he dons a short hairstyle which Ellen said she likes it very much. As for his many years of having the long hairdo, apparently he didn't cut it for 10 years!! Wow! Ellen also told him that she really like his Gap ads. It really is a cool ad just like all the other Gap ads. Lenny sang one of his classics, "Are You Gonna Go My Way" to end the show.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Since today was a day after Thanksgiving, Ellen talked about stuffing herself so much with turkey that she had to even loosen her pants right there while doing the monologue! "I'm turkey-drunk, that's what I call it!" Then she talked about what people do a day after Thanksgiving - shopping & watching TV! Yep, in America, the biggest shopping day is right after Thanksgiving Day 'coz it's unofficially the start of the holiday shopping. But it's also the day where people watch TV the most! Hmm... a bit of an oxymoron, eh, just like what Ellen was getting at with her puzzled look while talking about it.
• Ellen announced the latest figure received through her website for the "Ellen's Thanks-for-Giving Food Drive" effort. She thanked everyone that has contributed to this cause and urged everyone else to do so as well even though it's after Thanksgiving 'coz giving doesn't have a time limit, you see. Anyway, the total cash contributions she received through her show's website came up to $43,000! "Again, if every viewer just donates $1.." urged Ellen. As for the companies that have come on the show to give their cash contributions to show their full support to this effort, they were M&M's ($25,000), Uncle Ben's ($50,000), Starbucks ($25,000) and today it was Shopping.com donating a whopping $50,000! So the grand total of cash contributions including those donated through Ellen's website came up to $193,000!! WOW!! That's absolutely fantastic!
• Sitting in the Luxury Box today was none other than the CEO of Celebrity Cruise Line who gave out the cruises to the 250 troops and their families on Wed! He & Ellen had a surprise for the audience today - apparently Celebrity Cruise gave 1 cruise more than Ellen needed for the Thanksgiving Special episode. Instead of Celebrity Cruise getting it back, they decided to give it out to one lucky audience member today!! COOL!

Ellen welcomed back Jude Law who was only on the show just a few months ago to promote one of his many movies, "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow." This time, he was promoting "Closer." And, as Ellen mentioned, Jude's also been chosen as the Sexiest Man Alive by People! Jude then came on and Ellen welcomed him with open arms, complimenting him that he's always dressing very nicely, so nicely that he should've been voted as the Best Dressed man, too! With all this attention, Jude didn't quite know what to think of it! He was like, "I'm English. This is all so weird for me.." Ellen commented that he's made probably a million movies now 'coz he's everywhere! Jude explained that he actually did 4 movies in an 18-month span but it's only a coincidence that all 4 of them are being released all at once - "Sky Captain..," "Alfie," "I Heart Huckabees," & now "Closer." Actually it's more than 4 'coz he's also in "The Aviator" co-starring with Leonardo diCaprio, and "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events" (voice only), all coming out this year!! Well, well, well!! I think Jude himself must be getting a little tired of seeing himself everywhere. And now, he's on the cover of People & GQ! Ellen wondered if he's had any vacation, what with all his busy career! To her relief, Jude did have his vacation after his 1st visit to Ellen's show. He went to Mexico with his parents, believe it or not! They then talked about "Closer," a movie directed by Oscar winner, Mike Nichols, whom Ellen really likes, apparently, judging from how she mentioned Nichols. She seemed to have watched the movie, raving that it's really good, but disturbing. Jude explained that the movie is very honest. That's probably why it's disturbing. He likes to describe the movie as a story about seduction and destruction between 2 couples. This movie also stars Julia Roberts, Clive Owen & Natalie Portman. Ellen then switched gears and talked about Jude's 2 kids and how she likes the fact that despite being so busy, he is always donig stuff with them all the time - going to the park, shopping, etc.. So, Ellen gave him a present at the end of the interview! To Jude's absolute delight, she presented him with a 3-seater bike so that he could ride it with his kids in the park!! Wow! He was so excited that he immediately jumped on, asked Ellen to do the same & the next thing we saw, both of them were riding it around the studio! Great!

Ellen was very excited to introduce Ty Pennington, the host of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" who's also featured in People's list of sexy men this year! We all know why Ellen was so excited to talk to Ty because she's a fan of home improvement shows! Plus, Ty was going to re-decorate the Luxury Box, too! Wow, not bad to kill 2 birds with one stone with a guest - getting Ty to sit down for an interview A-N-D decorate! Anyway, when Ty sat down with Ellen, immediately you could see that Ellen's been watching his show, "Extreme Makeover..," 'coz she was commenting about the real people he and the show have helped through building and re-building their homes. Ellen dared Ty to not cry in one episode of his show! Apparently, emotions run wild on the show 'coz it's a show about changing people's lives, and very rewarding to see that he and his show can do something positive for those people and gets the communities involved where those people live in. That's good stuff. Ellen just couldn't stop raving about his show! Then Ellen asked the inevitable question - "How come I can't get my guesthouse done?! I have contractors working on it for 4 months!! How can you do it in 7 days?!" Ty explained that it's very different. When it's like a cause, you tend to have more inspiration to get it done quickly. FYI, Ty's been designing things all of his life, so it's very rewarding for him to do the show and make a difference in the communities and for people who need help.

Then, Ellen got Ty to the Luxury Box and basically challenged him to finish re-decorating it in 3 minutes!! Jeez!! She called it, "Extreme Makeover: Luxury Box Style"!! So without further ado, he got to work with the help of 4-5 people from Ellen's crew. Ellen started off directing them with a bullhorn but then quickly tossed it away to give a helping hand to them. It was done (barely) within the time limit but Ty wasn't quite happy with it saying, "If only we had more time!" But now, the Luxury Box has a reclining sofa and also a karaoke set!! We'll see if Ellen will get someone else to re-decorate it later on, eh?

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Before Ellen went out to the stage to do her show, we saw Tom Hanks knocking at her door, trying to get in. Ellen looked like she didn't want him to enter her dressing room, with only her head peeking out, whispering at him! She acted very mysteriously! But Tom wouldn't budge, so in the end, Ellen had to open her door wide enough for Tom and all of us to see that she had a huge live turkey in her room!!! "Shhhh! Don't tell anyone! I'm trying to save this turkey! Watch it for me, will you?" And out Ellen ran, towards the audience who welcomed her with thunderous cheers, claps and lots and lots of screaming!!!! Phew! Well, today was a very special episode because not only it was because of Thanksgiving, Ellen had invited the family members of troops that are currently deployed in Iraq to be in the audience!! So the audience had no one but people who have at least 1 family member in Iraq right now! We also was quite a few gals in uniform in the audience! Cool! Wow, talk about a rowdy (in a good way) audience! Man, the standing ovation that they gave to Ellen was very long, much to the host's surprise and gratitude!
• When the noise finally died down, Ellen thanked everyone in the audience not only for being on the show but also the sacrifice that the troops have given the country who can't even get home for the holidays. She announced that today's episode would be shown on the Armed Forces Network all over the military bases everywhere in the world - she later found out that they're in 177 countries! Ellen couldn't help feeling such gratitude toward the troops and also their family members for having such bravery for the sake of everyone else who are comfortably sitting at home while these guys are out there risking their lives for the country. Ellen explained that Thanksgiving is the best holiday because it's the time to give thanks to everything. So Thanksgiving is actually Gratitude Day. She gave thanks to the uniform! "I love the uniform. It automatically makes you sexy..!" But she quickly clarified that she was only talking about the uniform of the armed forces, not people working in the postal office or anywhere else 'coz today was all dedicated to the people in the armed forces! That's funny! She also gave thanks to the elastic waistband!! Imagine that! After all the rambling about the troops, Thanksgiving, she did her dance routine - this time to Nelly's sizzling "It's Hot In Herre", dancing with a lot of the audience members as she moved into the crowd.
• Ellen reiterated her gratitude and excitement for having the troops' families fill the audience, thanking the troops for all the sacrifces they've given by being in Iraq. In return for what they've done for everyone and the country, she announced that there would be surprises for them and their families in the audience. Immediately, the crowd went wild and crazy. Ellen quickly said, "Don't get too excited. It's not a car. I'm not Oprah!" The first surprise was the audience was fed by food donated by Marie Callendar's. Yum-yum! And to show gratitude, Ellen's show also teamed up with the USO to stuff 5,000 Care Packages of the most requested items to give the troops in Iraq! Ellen showed a clip where she was directing the people in a huge warehouse to pack those stuff with the loudspeaker! In addition to all the items, which were simply basic items that the troops requested, Ellen decided to also include the hit movie, "Elf," on DVDs and portable DVD players as well! WOW, fantastic! Then, Ellen showed the 1st clip of videotaped message from one of the troops that had his family member in the audience. Before she showed it, she warned that she was going to cry! And she did - well, not sobbing, but you could see that her eyes were all watery after the clip. Awww, Ellen! FYI, before every commercial break, they showed a videotaped message from a troop member that had families in the audience.

To help Ellen do her Thanksgiving Special episode, she invited none other than Tom Hanks! The reason that Ellen gave about inviting Tom Hanks to do the show with her was because Hanks rhymed with "Thanks" in Thanksgiving! Aha! That makes sense, eh? So Tom came out, always looking genuinely nice and cheerful, giving Ellen a big, fat hug. He was literally wow-ed by the wild crowd cheering endlessly, admiring the exciting audience and saw some uniformed ones among the crowd. The first thing he did even before he sat down was pointing at someone in the crowd & exclaimed, "Are you a marine?" And the camera immediately panned to the person he was directing his question to and it was a young woman dressed in a cool-looking marine uniform! She nodded to Tom's question. But apparently, Tom either didn't get her answer or he wasn't sure, repeated his question, louder this time, "Are you a MARINE?" And the woman nodded happily and said yes, but Tom still wanted to make 100% sure so he shouted his question for the 3rd time, "ARE YOU A MARINE?!" And the woman returned the shout along with lots of cheers from the crowd! Wow, it was something, man! Tom immediately looked at Ellen while pointing at the marine & exclaimed, "That marine can dance!" Then they showed a clip of the marine on the floor doing some great, classic Michael Jackson dance moves incl. the moon walk, dancing to MJ's "Gonna Be Startin' Something"! Obviously this was done during the commercial break. She was fantabulous, man! Like a female MJ!! Tom was right! That got such loud cheers from the crowd in support of the marine was looked a little embarrassed with the sudden attention on her! Clearly Tom had expressed his preference to the Marine Corp, eh? So they jokingly teased that perhaps now there would be a dancing competition between different factions in the Armed Forces! Finally Tom sat down and was ready to chat about how he was spending Thanksgiving with his family. Ellen asked if he did the cooking. Immediately Tom gave a long explanation which ended with him mashing potatoes - everyone in his family would be assigned to do stuff every Thanksgiving, you see. Then he talked about the difference between his and his wife, Rita Wilson's side of their families when it came to cutting the turkey. For Tom's family, they use the usual cutting knife but with Rita's familiy, they use the electric knife!! Tom obviously hated the electric knife because it's been banished from his home now! Too noisy and dangerous!

Remember the naming of the Riff-Raff room sometime ago - the room was called The Experience but then when Tom came on the show the 1st time last year, he changed the name to "Riff-Raff." So since Tom named it and Ellen had kept the new name ever since, she invited him to carry out a formal dedication to officially name the room Riff-Raff!! It was great - the "ceremony" was like the Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony where the inducted star would put his/her hand prints on the wet cement to seal them! Yep, so Tom did the hand-print sealing and signed on the wet cement in the Riff-Raff room! Very cool, indeed! Then they went back to their seats and talked about Tom's latest animated movie, "The Polar Express" which is based on the best-selling book of the same name. Did you know that Tom did all the voices including the boy's in the movie?! Wow!! The movie's playing everywhere nationwide now including at the IMAX theaters! So, check it out! It's wonderfully made by the genious Robert Zemeckis.

The big surprise came at the end of the segment where Tom started to ask the audience, "Do you like water?" The audience agreed excitedly. "Do you like food? " The excitement got louder. "So it seems like everybody would like to go on a....CRUISE?" Omigod!! Immediately, there were thunderous cheers & screams & what have you, the whole studio was literally shaking with all the noise of excitement and ecstasy from the audience!!! Some were even crying with joy, imagine that! Then Tom looked at Ellen & asked, "Can I go?" Apparently, when Ellen announced this big surprise, they didn't know which destination to choose - either Alaska or the Mexican Riviera. But judging by the huge response from the crowd when she mentioned the Mexican Riviera, it seemed that the audience had chosen their destination. So Ellen showed a clip of Houston onboard the cruise just to show the audience what they're going to expect. Very, very amazing and great fun! Back to the studio, Tom continued with his questions to Ellen, "How long is the cruise?" Ellen replied, "Up to 10 nights." Tom asked, "How many people can they take each?" Ellen replied, "Up to 4 people!" Tom went on to ask, "How much hidden costs?" Ellen by then was complaining that Tom was asking too many questions before replying, "Nothing!" This big surprise is donated by Celebrity Cruise Line!!! Tom's final question was, "How much is this worth?" Ellen proudly exclaimed, "$1.2 million dollars!" And immediately a burst of red, white & blue conffetti came rushing down into the audience when the crowd was screaming with joy at what they had been given. The standing ovation & loud cheers lasted a long time, man! Ellen proclaimed humbly that this was their way of giving a special thanks to all the sacrifices that the troops and their families have made. And it was Celebrity Cruise's way of thanking them too. THREE BIG CHEERS FOR ELLEN & CO.!!!! HIP HIP, HOORAY!! HIP HIP, HOORAY!! HIP HIP, HOORAY!!! Over & out...

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was about organizing her phone book by people's profession. She gave an example, like, "Doctors." Under that category, not only does she include her medical doctor's info, but also her dentist, etc.. But not Dr. Dre, though, even though he has the "Dr." title, she puts his info under "Rappers"!
• Boy, Ellen's "Thanks-For-Giving Food Drive" is getting more donations from big companies! Today, Ellen welcomed the CEO of Starbucks Coffee who was sitting in the Luxury Box! Starbucks is donating $25,000 to the "Ellen's Thanks-For-Giving Food Drive"! Not only that, Starbucks is also donating 500lb. of coffee and 5,000 CDs to the U.S. troops overseas! And..there was a Starbucks coffee bar set up in the Riff-Raff room for everyon's enjoyment as well! COOL!!
• Apart from these big donations from big companies, Ellen also announced that they've so far collected $22,000 cash donation from viewers since she pledged for everyone watching the show to donate just $1! But that wasn't enough, so said Ellen, 'coz she knows that there are more than 22,000 viewers out there! "I know there's at least 24,000 viewers!" So, she continued with the pledge. We'll see what the final total is soon, eh? Jokes aside, Ellen was very grateful & thanked everyone who's given donations, be it cash or non-perishable food items.
• Remember yesterday when Ellen tried to call the Pilgrims (people with a Pilgrim last name) and failed 'coz nobody was in & she left a couple of messages on a couple of people's answering machines to return her call & gave out her number? Well, after yesterday's show, not surprisingly, she got tons & tons of calls from people with the Pilgrim last name, claiming that they were the ones whom Ellen had left a message for!! Ellen was like, "I know I only tried calling 4 numbers!" She clarified that the 5 Pilgrims she found in the yellow pages were only from LA. The calls that she got after that were from everywhere nationwide! So, anyways, one of the Pilgrims whom she'd left a message for, did call back & left a number that Ellen could reach him. His name's Lance Pilgrim. So today, Ellen called him!! It was obviously his office number! The 1st thing he said to Ellen was, "I love you! I watch your show all the time!" Then he proceeded to tell Ellen that he actually saw her one time when she was driving down Sunset Blvd. and he saw her going to a restaurant. Then Ellen said facitiously, "Yeah, I remember. I was just thinking about you.." It was funny! Then Ellen asked if his ancestors were the among the Mayflower pilgrims who sailed to the U.S.! Then he told Ellen that his co-worker wouldn't believe that she'd call him. So Ellen told him to put her on the phone. And when Ellen said, "Hi, this is Ellen.." the gal was like, "No, I don't believe it!" But then when Ellen tried to convince her she's Ellen, the gal knew it was her 'coz she recognized her voice. Man, that gal was screaming in the background when she gave the phone back to Lance!! Wow, Ellen's got one huge fan, at least, at Lance's office, eh? Anyhow, like what Ellen explained about why she wanted to talk to a person with a Pilgrim last name - to get some Thanksgiving tips - she asked Lance if he knew the difference between stuffing and dressing. Lance immediately said, "Yes, I do" then paused and couldn't think of anything! Aha!

The first guest Ellen welcomed was Tim Allen, most well-known for his long-running TV sitcom, "Home Improvement." Tim & Ellen have known each other for a long time. They both started out as stand-ups. The 1st thing Tim said to Ellen when he finally sat down was that he see her show all the time & he likes being on the show 'coz it's so different from all the other talk shows he's been on throughout the years. When he's on Ellen's show, the atmosphere is just great, with all the dancing & all.. Well, Tim's right! A lot of guests have commented that to Ellen. That's probably one of the secrets of the talk show's success, eh? Anyway, Ellen congratulated Tim on getting his own star at the Hollywood Walk of Fame the other day and asked him how he was felt about it. Tim commented that he'd always thought that the induction to the Hollywood Walk of Fame was pretty cheesy...until it happened to him! All of a sudden, he felt great 'coz he was presented with a plaque from the mayor of Hollywood who declared that day "Tim Allen Day" & his family was with him. So it turned out to be a great experience and he still couldn't believe he has a star! Back to Tim starting out his career as a stand-up. Well, while most comedians started doing stand-up 'coz it was what they wanted to do, it was different for Tim. His stand-up career started as a result of a "dare" someone challenged him to do when he was still selling shoes at a shoe store!

Ellen asked about Tim's latest movie, "Christmas with the Kranks" which also co-star Jaimie Lee Curtis, who was on Ellen yesterday, and Dan Akroyd. Tim was telling Ellen how much fun he had doing it with his 2 old-time buddies. He, Jaimie & Dan go way back, you see. These veteran comics have lots of history together. That's cool! He said that most of the fun stuff couldn't be shown in the movie 'coz it's a family movie! Well, let's see if it's included in the DVD, eh?

Ellen was excited to welcome Chingy to the show who then performed his single from his CD, "Powerballin'".

Ellen welcomed yet another "Desperate Housewives" star, Eva Longoria, to the show! Ellen immediately told Eva that she's a huge fan of the hit show & Eva of 'coz returned the compliment. Ellen was really into it 'coz the next thing Eva knew, she was asking about who was going to get killed off in the next episode! Most of you must've heard about this - seems that in the next episode, a female character will be killed. Ellen kept pestering Eva to tell her if it's going to be one of the housewives! But Eva wouldn't reveal anything, only that it's a female! Ha, so much for a tip, eh? Then they talked about Eva's childhood. She apparently grew up in Texas, too, just like Ellen, only that she didn't know where Atlanta was when Ellen told her that! Eva was from Corpus Christi. She was a Miss Corpus Christi when she was 20 or 22. Before Eva left, Ellen asked her to teach her how to dance salsa! They both did it with a couple of audience members. You can see Eva in action along with the other "housewives" who've been on Ellen's show so far - Teri Hatcher & Felicity Huffman - in America's highest rated show, "Desperate Housewives" on Sundays at 9p on ABC.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Remember M&M's generous donation of $25,000 to the "Ellen's Thanks-for-Giving Food Drive" last Friday? Well, today, Ellen announced that Uncle Ben's has just donated $50,000 to the "Food Drive"!!!! WOW!!! That's fantastic! Ellen also thanked everyone who's contributed to this goodwill and she also showed the audience members who were in line outside waiting to get in before the taping started. They were all donating non-perishable food items just as Ellen has been pledging! That's great! Ellen was very grateful about people's generosity. She continued with the pledge for more donations which will all go to the "LA Regional Food Bank". So hurry, people, go to The Ellen DeGeneres Show website right now for more details about what you can do!
• Thanksgiving is just around the corner so Ellen thought of something today. She thought she'd randomly call people with Pilgrim as their last name just to ask about the do's and don't's of Thanksgiving and any tips they could give her. So she flipped open the yellow pages and found a total of 5 people with the Pilgrim last name! It was unbelievable 'coz the next thing we knew, she was dialing the 1st "victim" already!!! But it was the answering machine! Instead of hanging up, she decided to leave this funny message where she covered up her voice and spoke like people from the ancient times, like.. "Thith ith Ellen DeGeneres. I shall calleth thou back!" It was hilarious! Then she went on to call the 2nd Pilgrim. Someone answered the phone but obviously couldn't understand Ellen or thought it was a crank call or something and hung up! But Ellen was just getting started - she called the 3rd & 4th Pilgrim and left messages on those poor folks' answering machines with "This is Ellen DeGeneres. I want to speak with a Pilgrim. Please call me back at 818-260- 5600." The things Ellen would do to get something, man!! You gotta do whatcha gotta do, I guess!
• Remember Ellen's "Do You See What I See?" segment where she used the handheld camera to show us what she would see when she was doing the show? Well, today, it was the audience's turn! They picked out an audience member to wear a tiny camera on a cap so we all could see what the people were seeing when they're in the audience. Ellen began asking the woman questions which had "yes" and "no" answers. So, of 'coz whenever the woman shook or nodded her head, the camera on her head was moving as well so the TV picture was just shaking like there was no tomorrow. Don't know about you folks, but I had motion-sickness watching 'em!! Yikes!

Jamie Lee Curtis visited Ellen again! Before she came on, Ellen was like, " Ohhhh, we don't know what we're gonna expect from her. She..she's a wild one!" Guess Jamie's last visit really gave Ellen a lasting impression, eh? Anyway, Jamie came on & gave Ellen a big hug. Just to mention - it was Jamie's birthday today so when she came on, Tony played 50 Cent's "In Da Club". So, when she sat down, she thanked Tony for that. If you know the lyrics of "In Da Club," you'd know that 50 Cent's first rap line was something like "...it's your birthday.." Anyway, Jamie's 46 today, yep, the same age as Ellen, which she mentioned! Ellen commented that she looked really good especially her grey hair - it really looks good on Jamie, if you've seen her in mags lately. As you may know, Jamie's always been very outspoken about not doing the Hollywood thing - plastic surgery, botox, etc.. to cover up age or any deficiency. So, she's very proud with what she's doing. She also said that she doesn't drink any alcohol at all. And Ellen just looked at her, like, "Are you crazy, woman?!" and said, "You don't drink AT ALL?!" Then Jamie continued babbling about stuff and you could see that Ellen was just sitting there, speechless, and perhaps zoning out or something 'coz her face was totally & utterly BLANK! Finally, Jamie looked at her and perhaps noticing what we noticed, said, "Anyway,...do you want me to leave? " It was so funny!!! We can see that Ellen really has a hard time dealing with guests that are as neurotic as Jamie or Lauren Graham! Ellen then surprised Jamie with a birthday gift - a bling-bling!! Yep, it was a bling long necklace (much like those that you see rappers wear) with a "J&E with a big star" pendant on it! Omigosh!! But Jamie immediately put it on and showed it off to everyone! She's a good sport. When Ellen asked what she was planning to do for her birthday - well, probably Ellen regretted asking that because the next thing we knew, Jamie was trying her hardest not to break down and cry. But she did have a good reason for it - as you all may know, Jamie's mom, the legendary Janet Leigh (remember the classic shower scene in Hitchcock's "Psycho"? Well the woman in the shower was Janet) passed away just recently. And the thing is, Jamie's birthday plan was always very routine every year - she would spent it with Janet doing the same routine - Janet would re-enact being in labor with Jamie and Jamie pretend to be the baby trying to come out of her mom with snuffling sounds, then finally would let out a cry, (just like newborn babies do when they finally get out of the womb) & would look at her mom and say, "Thanks, mom!" Awww...imagine doing that every year with your mom and one day, you realize you can't do that anymore. That must be so tough on her. So, Jamie's speech was shaking a lot when she was explaining this whole thing. Jamie expressed that it'd be very difficult this year because, "You spend your birthdays with your mom, you know.." But she perked up & tried to shake off her sadness bravely, noted that she was ok 'coz she still has her daughter and family around her. And during all this time, we could see Ellen just trying not to cry herself, either. Then, they talked about something much, much lighter - Jamie's new movie, "Christmas with the Kranks" co-starring Tim Allen & Dan Akroyd. Jamie expressed her excitement with this movie because it was done in good fun and everyone had a great time. Moreover, it's a family movie! "Christmas with the Kranks" opens in theatres this Wednesday, just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday.

Oh, did you know that Jamie also loves JT (Justin Timberlake)? Gosh! She told Ellen that it wasn't fair that Ellen was bagging JT all to herself 'coz she liked him first! Again, Ellen gave her a "You crazy woman!" look. It was funny! Then Ellen asked Jamie about the hilarious faces she makes in the movie. That brought Jamie to another story - she said that making elaborate facial expressions is very helpful to prevent wrinkles and it's good all-around. It's like facial exercises. Apparently her friend recommended a book called, "Ms. Craig's Face-Saving Exercise" and she demonstrated a couple of the exercises from the book and pulled Ellen along to do the same. Ellen, by this time, must be thinking to herself, "Am I in the twilight zone?! Get me out of this craziness! " But she tried to follow what Jamie was doing. The facial expressions that they made were so funny!! In the end, Ellen commented to Jamie, "Maybe this is the time to start drinking!" And Jamie just lost it - she laughed like crazy!

Ellen welcomed back Fantasia who sang her new single, "Truth Is," from her debut CD, "Free Yourself." Then she sat down to have a little chat with Ellen. Ellen raved about how great Fantasia's voice was, etc.. The 20-year-old Fantasia is extremely busy these days, what with making her new CD, going on tour, and she even has a lipstick line with M-A-C!!! Before she left, Ellen asked Fantasia to teach her some new dance moves. Gosh, Ellen was hilarious doing those hip-hop, crazy moves, man!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's big thing today was to report on her adventure of being summoned by "The Apprentice"'s Donald Trump, better known as "The Trump" to the boardroom of the Trump Tower in NYC! As reported previously, Ellen and Houston were given a task by The Trump, just like what we see on "The Apprentice." Ellen called hers "The Apprenticeses"... yes, that's right! She showed everyone the video from the start where she and Houston walked on the streets of NYC to look for the Trump Tower. Then when they were in the boardroom with The Trump, she and Houston pretended to be nervous yet excited. The Trump then gave them the task - create a hot dog stand selling hot dogs at the street corners, the mean streets of NY; and at the end of the day, they were supposed to report back to The Trump about how they did financially. Then we saw Ellen and Houston standing behind a genuine hot dog stand with a sign saying, "Trump Dogs"!! Yep, Ellen had this great idea that if they used The Trump's name to sell hot dogs, they'd be successful, hence the name from hot dogs to "Trump Dogs"! Obviously, they didn't make any money on it 'coz Ellen kept giving out the hot dogs! At one point, when it was close to 5p, which was when they were supposed to be back in the boardroom, Ellen started signing the hot dogs, writing stuff on t-shirts & giving them all out to the curious by-standers! Of 'coz Ellen had to do something that was totally unrelated to her task - she asked if anyone would dance with her right there and one of the by-standers volunteered and they just danced away...with no music!! What can we say?! Ellen's crazy!! But all in good spirit - not to mention, hilarious!!! Great stuff, man! Then they went back to the boardroom to report on their task. Ellen tried her rambling tactics to avoid The Trump's question about how much they'd made at the end of the day from selling hot dogs. Finally, when Ellen spat out the words, "We didn't make any money," The Trump, red in the face in total exasperation, told off Ellen & Houston about using his name in vain to sell dogs but yet didn't make any money! Then he said the famous phrase.. "You're both FIRED!!!" So that was that, folks!
• Remember Ellen's continue pledge for people to donate food items or cash to the "Ellen's Thanks-for-Giving Food Drive"? Yesterday, she even mentioned that if every viewer watching her show would just donate $1, it'd really make a difference. Guess what, in just one day, she'd received more than $5,000 already! So, she urged the other viewers who hadn't done that to send at least $1 especially when she knows that there are many more viewers than 5,000! Then she introduced the 2 women who were sitting in the Luxury Box today. They turned out to be representatives from the giant chocolate candy company, "M&M's"!!! They were there to give out a check of $25,000 on behalf of "M&M's" after being inspired by the "Ellen's Thanks-for-Giving Food Drive"!!! Ellen was very happy about it. The women presented a giant check to Ellen which Ellen took it and put it into her equality giant-sized wallet! It was a funny sight! All proceeds will go to the LA Regional Food Bank. She continued to encourage the audience to bring in at least 2 non-perishable food items or cash not only until Thanksgiving but beyond that as well 'coz there are many people living in hunger. It'd help a great deal especially during the holiday season. In addition to that, remember the celebrity-signed items from the show to help with this donation effort? Well, in addition to Venus Williams, Pierce Brosnan, & Hillary Duff, Ellen added a signed kick-boxing pad from Alicia Keys as well! All proceeds will also go to the LA Regional Food Bank. Good job, Ellen!! So, hurry up, folks, do your share - donate cash or food items now & check out the auctioned items. Just go to the official website of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" to find out more details.

Matt LeBlanc came back to visit Ellen again today. Ellen asked if he was still keeping in touch with his friends from his old sitcom, "Friends". Apparently David Schwimmer will be directing an episode of Matt's sitcom, "Joey." And he mentioned about touching base with Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow who're both busy shooting their movies in the WB studio lot. He's been seeing Matthew Perry as well. As for Courteney Cox, Matt had to go to visit her since she's just had a baby. It's great to see that these 6 buddies are still buddies even though their show's over! This kind of rapport should happen more often in Hollywood, that's for sure! Matt then talked about having more difficult time doing "Joey" than "Friends" because at least for "Friends," the lines were divided into 6 people. Whereas, in "Joey," since he's the main character, he's got so many more lines to memorize 'coz he's in virtually every scene in every episode! In replying to Ellen's question about whether he found it hard to memorize, he said that he's used to it but told Ellen not to test him or anything, though! Then they talked about Matt's newborn daughter which immediately, you could see the adoration & pride in Matt's eyes at the mere mention of his child! Awwwww!!! Guess what Ellen had Matt do before he left? Well, since she knew that Matt likes speed racing, Ellen challenged him to a race - only they were racing with the Segway!! Well, of 'coz Ellen won 'coz she's already an expert in it because she uses it to get out to the stage every day!

Denise Richards came on the show and gotta say, you'd never know she just had a baby 5 months ago with that shape she was in!! Wow! Of 'coz Ellen had to ask her posing on Playboy - featured in the latest issue of the adult magazine. Obviously Denise wanted people to know that she's over her pregnancy and she's in fabulous shape already! Anyway, she just guest-starred on her husband, Charlie Sheen's sitcom, "Two And A Half Men" where she played a mother with a baby. Yes, the baby on the show was their own baby! There you go.. Then Ellen gave Denise a surprise - she found out that Denise always liked to touch a monkey. So Ellen brought out a tiny, adorable, little squirrel monkey who was sitting on top of a teddy bear!! Oooooo, soooooo very cute it was!! Denise couldn't believe her eyes! There was a tiny little milk bottle for it as well!! Ahhh...fantabulous indeed!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue was all about lying in one's resume and mentioned how celebrities lie during interviews as well - e.g. Brittany Murphy! Yes, looks like Ellen's not letting go of Brittany's claim that she spoke in complete sentences when she was just 4 months' old! Ok, let's see if Brittany's gonna visit Ellen again to defend her claim, eh?
• Ellen talked about the "RSVP Ellen" segment, that she received tons of e-mails inviting her to events, etc.. But since she can't go to all of them, she'd previously indicated that she could bring the invitation to the show instead. So, today she brought in the Los Alamitos High School cheerleading team who wrote to her! Ellen announced that the cheerleaders would be doing their "thang" all throughout today's show.

John Goodman came on looking big and happy! He attempted a little dance as well. When he sat down on the couch, he pretended to be stuck in it, shrieking, "I'm stuck!" The couch was indeed a little too small for poor John, though. Anyway, Ellen mentioned that they only just met recently at some Awards show even though one would think that they've known each other a long time especially when they are at the same functions. Ellen asked him about his new sitcom, "Center of the Universe," which he remarked that he's having a good, fun time. A little different from "Roseanne" which he spent 8-9 years on the show before taking a break and then doing something else.

Ellen welcomed back Nigella Lawson who's like Martha Stewart doing all those cooking stuff, except that she's British! Today, she demonstrated her chicken soup made with chicken broth and chicken balls. Nigella instructed Ellen to lend a hand in making the chicken balls (from blended chicken meat, eggs & seasoning). Ellen was so engrossed in trying to roll the ground meat into balls that she wasn't actually listening to Nigella talking about her recipe. So she got "told off" by Nigella! It was funny! Then Ellen burnt her tongue while trying the super hot chicken balls!! Nigella told her that she should've waited for her to blow on the chicken ball first before trying it right away! Poor Ellen!

With a burnt tongue, Ellen welcomed Felicity Huffman to the show. As you may know, the ABC drama, "Desperate Housewives" have taken America by storm, being not only the highest rated show in its time slot but also the highest rated show! Wow! Ellen & Felicity obviously know each other as they met a while ago at Awards show, etc.. Ellen asked about her hubby, actor William H. Macy. Ellen mentioned that she couldn't believe that Felicity of pregnant with her 2nd child the last time they met 'coz the 2nd child is already 2 years' old!! Felicity has 2 kids - one is 4 and the other is 2. Ellen asked if having kids helps her character on the hit show which of 'coz Felicity agreed. Apparently, Felicity also has a temper in real-life just like her character does! Before Felicity left, she and Ellen did a re-enactment of a scene from "Desperate Housewives" along with a couple of people from the audience and Ellen's crew. It was so funny 'coz the lines that they read from the cue cards were obviously not like the show but with jokes that make fun of the characters! Poor Felicity didn't bring her glasses with her so she had to squint so hard at the cue cards that she couldn't bear it anymore and demanded that the cards be moved closer! It was funny! Then a bizarre thing happened - one of the audience members doing the scene took off his shirt which startled Felicity so much you could see her uttering, "Oh, my God!" covering her eyes even when she wasn't looking at the guy directly! Obviously, she did not expect that stunt! Her back was turned but she still felt embarrassed! Then she said (probably not quite audibly) something like, "Just don't take off your shirt anymore" when Ellen in her "Desperate Housewives" character, commented on the guy! It was really funny! Despite the embarrassing moment, Felicity was a very good sport indeed! She and Ellen both bowed to the audience joyously after the end of the re-enactment.

One more thing - Houston, complete with the poms-poms danced along with the cheerleaders from the Los Alamitos High School! It was hilarious!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• This was the funniest opening yet - usually Ellen comes out from her dressing room, passes through the backstage, before appearing in front of the audience to do her monologue. Well, today was "special!" When one of the crew members knocked on Ellen's dressing room, out came Allison Janney - only that she was all dressed up as Ellen, complete with the blonde wig and stuff!! Omigod! Not only was she dressed as Ellen, she even tried to move like Ellen, dancing on the way to the stage!! It was hilarious! And when she finally appeared in front of the audience, the audience just screamed with glee when they realized that it wasn't Ellen, it was Allison as Ellen!! Aww, priceless, it was, man! Then Allison did some Ellen impressions like smoothing her pants down (Ellen does that all the time) and danced..well, she tried but it looked a bit odd! In the middle of it all, out came Ellen, giving Allison such a glare! It was so funny! Allison, upon seeing Ellen's "glare," that was her cue to leave the stage, but not before she did the rock-&-roll gesture with her hands & then looked over to Ellen and pointed her finger to her butt indicating the "kiss my ass!" gesture before disappearing backstage! Wow! That was indeed a fantabulous treat for us to watch! We can now establish a fact - anytime Allison Janney's the guest, it's always something new, fresh, and incredibly hilarious 'coz this funny gal is totally unpredictable, man!
• After the ultra-excited audience calmed down, Ellen was pointing to where Allison left the stage, saying, "Who was that?!" What was that?!" In response to Allison's impression of her, she kept asking, "Do I do that?!" Then she made fun of Allison's dance moves saying that she never did those moves in her entire life! That was her monologue - we don't realize our mannerisms until somebody does an impression of us. Yep, she's absolutely right!
• As you may know, this coming Friday, the episode will show what Ellen & Houston did with The Trump (Donald Trump) when he summoned them to New York to do a task like on his show, "The Apprentice." So, today, Ellen promoted the segment and showed a short clip of what we should expect this Friday. Apparently, the task that Trump gave to Ellen & Houston was that they had to put a hot dog stand on the streets of New York and try to sell as much as they could. Then at the end of the day, they were to report to Trump about how they faired in the sales of hot dogs in the "mean" streets of New York! Very interesting, indeed, not to forget, we should expect a lot of funny moments! Let's see if The Trump would say his famous line, "You're Fired!" to The Ellen & The Houston, eh?
• Ellen continued to urge everyone to donate food items for the "Ellen Thanks-for-Giving Food Bank" effort as Thanksgiving Day draws near. She reported that a few celebrity items would be auctioned off including a signed poster of "After The Sunset" by Pierce Brosnan, a signed tennis racket by Venus Williams and a signed trampoline by Hillary Duff (reminder - Hillary & Ellen were jumping up & down the trampoline in the episode where Hillary was the guest). All proceeds from the auction bid will go to the L.A. Regional Food Bank. Ellen told the audience to bring 2 non-perishable food items from now 'til Thanksgiving. She also encouraged people to start their own food donation effort to help fight hunger.

Boy, this was Allison Janney's 3rd visit to Ellen's show! This shows how much Ellen and Allison like each other..and it shows! Especially today when they talked a bit more about how they met, etc.. Allison came on and did some pretty good dance moves (unlike when she was dressed as Ellen earlier!). She was wearing high heels so just imagine when she & Ellen hugged - Ellen was just up to her chest - well, 'coz Allison's already very, very tall without heels so...! It was so funny to see them try to hug without causing anything "odd", you know! My goodness, you can just see how much chemistry both these women have with each other, man! Of 'coz the first thing Ellen mentioned was the way Allison impersonated her and the dance she did. She was like, "What happened?!" Ellen remembered the 1st time they met, they danced crazily with each other & Ellen said probably that's why they like each other so much. The 1st time they met, it was at a party which Ellen forgot what it was about. Allison notioned that it was some promo party for some liquor..explaining probably that's why they were dancing non-stop to a point where they ended up lying on the dance floor! Ellen remembered that they spent a while lying on the floor together! By this time, the audience was going crazy with excitement already! Allison then mentioned that the next day or so, there were reports in the papers which she didn't know if she wanted to elaborate at first 'coz she didn't know how Ellen would take it. By this time, Ellen was like, "What?!" It turned out that they were both featured in some tabloid newspaper reporting that they were an item! There was so much laughter and hooting in the audience, I tell ya! Ellen was like, "Really?!" "Did we break up?" Allison replied, "I don't know. They didn't mention that anymore. So I guess we never did." More screams from the audience. Allison was laughing non-stop by now. Then Ellen said, "What would your fiance say?!" to which the chuckling Allison replied, "I don't know. You should ask him." At this point, Ellen announced that Allison and her long-time boyfriend just got engaged recently. He was actually back-stage. Then Ellen had a bone to pick on Allison. Ellen told everyone that she and Allison had always wanted to get together but they both have different parties to go to so they never had a chance. But then, Ellen found out that Allison recently had a party and didn't invite her! Allison looked so guilty but she quickly explained that it was a "Bad Actors Party" which she didn't think it was appropriate for Ellen, hence she didn't invite her. Ellen, of 'coz, was curious and had to ask what she meant by a "Bad Actors Party". Allison explained that it was a party where everyone had to bring a tape showing their embarrassing and humiliating acting moments in their acting careers. She kept a very strict rule, so strict that the party even had bouncers! So, if anyone didn't bring any tape for the party, they wouldn't be allowed to get in!! But Ellen started to argue with Allison 'coz she thought that even with that kind of party, Allison could've still invited Ellen & Allison kept trying to justify herself. Then all of a sudden, Ellen uttered, "I hate to have to break up with you"! Then they looked at each other & Ellen had this sudden realization look on her face when she said, "Hey, it's our first fight!" Allison was laughing heartily, playing along. Ellen then gave Allison a surprise. She managed to get a hold of Allison's tape of her embarrassing/humiliating acting moment, much to Allison's dismay! So Ellen asked her to explain what it was and how long ago it was. Apparently, she was in "Guiding Light" before earlier in her career, oh, 8,9, 10, 12 years ago. She thought that the scene she chose in the tape was not the worst, but nevertheless, she thought it was bad. Ellen showed the tape and after that, said, "And that wasn't your worst, huh?" Allison simply glared at Ellen (jokingly, of 'coz!).

Then it was time for both of these women to compete...yes, again!! Man, these two are just competitive! No wonder they love each other so much and you can see that they enjoy each other's company! Anyway, as you know, the last time Allison was on the show, they had a ping-pong rematch (the 1st time, Ellen lost, so being a competitive person, she had to get back at Allison, hence the rematch!) in which Allison lost. Allison said that she was very upset about her last performance (the rematch) and immediately, Ellen gloatingly said, "I loved it! I won everything!" Allison pretended to be upset when she turned to Ellen & said, "I hate you! I'm gonna break up with you!" And she pretended to take off her ring & went, "I'm gonna give you back your ring!" Ellen, playing along, was like, "No, don't give me back the ring!" Ahhh, it was just priceless - these two!! After that, they wasted no time and Ellen explained about their new competition. She promised Allison that this was her 1st time doing it as well. There was this machine filled with obstacle course stuff (climbing up & down, through tunnels, etc.). The challenge was they had to go through the obstacle course twice and the faster one would win the game. So, at the count of 3, in they went, through the tunnel, climbing up something and down something & all that. The 1st round, Allison was leading but it was very close. So when they did the 2nd round, in the midst of climbing over something, Allison kept pushing Ellen to the ground & climbed over her just to get to the finish line but Ellen did the same too, but Allison proved too strong for her! It was absolutely hilarious to watch, man!! Allison ended up winning but both of them were so out of breath, they could hardly talk!! Ellen reluctantly announced Allison as the winner (guess we'll see Allison again on the show very soon for a rematch, eh?) while Allison was still having fun with the machine, bouncing on the air cushions on the finish line and then Ellen joined her, throwing herself beside Allison on the cushions when the show went on a commercial break! Phew! That was perhaps the funniest moment yet!!

Ellen welcomed Alicia Keys back to the show, raving just how much she loves her and her voice. Before Alicia sat down with Ellen, she performed her latest single, "Karma." Then she sat down for a chat with Ellen. The 1st thing Ellen mentioned was she found out that Alicia apparently was upset with Ellen about something. So she asked the singer what it was. Alicia explained that she was very hurt when she walked pass the corridor where there were pictures of Ellen with her celeb guests hanging on the wall. Alas, she didn't see one she took with Ellen! Ellen looked a little guilty but explained that she kept the picture of her and Alicia in a special place - on the roof!!! And the camera panned to the roof where we saw the picture leaning against something! It was funny! Ellen promised that there would be one hanging on the wall soon. Then they talked about how Alicia likes kick-boxing. Ellen asked if they could both do it right there & Alicia agreed. But instead of Alicia doing the kicking, Ellen would be the one doing it while Alicia would receive the kicks via the punch-bag. Alicia teased, "I thought I'd hurt you if you received the kicks so I just wanna make sure you hurt me"! Oooooo...! Alicia mockingly collapsed on the ground after taking a few kicks (not very hard, though) from Ellen. That was cute!

Boy, today's show was absolutely fantabulous!!! Good job, Ellen!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about how she made a big mistake during her monologue last Friday when she discussed the importance of dancing. There was a remark that she erroneously said "fighting" instead of "dancing" which she could've been misconstrued as an advocate of fighting instead of what she really meant to say, that is, DANCING!!! The remark she made which she didn't even realize she made a mistake was this: [paraphrase] "Like the West Side Story where instead of fighting, they were dancing..If only all the problems in the world could be resolved by fighting, we wouldn't have wars,...." So you see why Ellen had to come out today to correct herself, eh? She was telling everyone that she was clueless about the error that she made until someone from her crew pointed it out to her! Well, no sweat, Ellen! Of 'coz you didn't mean what you said! Also, that wasn't the 1st time you made a boo-boo in your monologue, which we completely understand! Heck, we've all made this kind of mistake before, haven't we? Many a times, what our brain wants us to say turns out to be something else when it comes out of our mouths! It's like our speech works more quickly than our brains! No big deal! But it was funny that Ellen used her monologue moment to clarify her position, though!

Ellen welcomed Pierce Brosnan on the show. There was a hilarious moment when Pierce's mic seemed to be lopsided. So Ellen tried to fix it for him but obviously failed! So, to distract everyone, she quietly asked the dashing actor, "Kiss me.."! Gosh, you could've seen the surprise look on Pierce's face! But always a good sport, he did! He planted a light smooch on Ellen's lips right there! Very cool indeed! Of 'coz that distraction meant that Pierce's mic faux paux was quickly forgotten! Good job, Ellen! She tried to think back when she first met Pierce and his family. All she could remember was that when she met him at some event, his wife was still pregnant. So Pierce immediately verified that it was 3 years ago since his child is 3 years old already! Ellen, as mentioned before, obviously saw Pierce's new movie, "After The Sunset" as she mentioned that she liked it. It was light-hearted, funny and the action wasn't too violent. But she did comment to Pierce, "You and Salma Hayek made out a lot in the movie!" which prompted him to responded immediately, saying, "But they were all in the script!" Aha, save by the the script, huh, Pierce? Well justified, eh? Ellen pretended not to believe him. It was funny! Then Ellen asked the big question that's been a big rumor in Hollywood - Pierce not doing any more Bond movies! Wow, no more "My name is Bond. James Bond" from Pierce anymore!! So, Ellen wanted the scoop about why he decided not to reprise his role. He gave a surprising reason which he didn't give to other talk shows (at least not on Jay Leno or Conan) - apparently the Broccoli family (the producers who originated the Bond franchise) approached Pierce during the promotion of his 4th Bond movie, "Die Another Day" to do his 5th Bond movie (Pierce only signed a contract for 4 Bond movies, you see) and he accepted it. However, during the contract negotiation, for some reason, Pierce said that the Broccolis changed their minds. So that was that. Hmm...very interesting. But what a bummer, though, 'coz Pierce plays one cool Bond, that's for sure! Anyhow, he then told Ellen that he's planning to do the sequel to the hugely successful "Thomas Crown Affair" soon. That'd be fantastic if the sequel happens! But in the meantime, you can catch Pierce in action in "After The Sunset" in theaters now.

Looks like Ellen's quest to make Houston's dream come true is getting closer! Today, she called Nathan from WB's Casting Dept. again to follow up on their decision to put Houston in "Dukes of Hazzard" which has begun filming already. Ellen asked if Nathan saw the episode of Ellen's show where Houston did a stunt with Nate the other day. Unfortunately he didn't. But he asked Ellen to send him the tape of it so he could see Houston's stunt skills. So, we'll hear about the update again soon. Keep a look out for it!

Matthew Fox (you may know him from "Party of Five") came on looking as cool as ever. Ellen was raving about his popular new drama, "Lost," which looks like a reality show ("Survivor") but it's not. Nobody gets voted off the island or anything like that! But it's a survival drama which has taken America by storm. A lot of action going on. Then guess what they did? Ellen and Matthew acted out a skit based on "Lost" with extras who were Ellen's crew! It was so funny that neither Matthew or Ellen could do their lines in a straight face 'coz they were both laughing hysterically! It was great, man! Priceless! Catch "Lost" on ABC every Wednesday at 8p.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was about how she found out that she likes to use some words all the time, i.e. "fantastic." She didn't realize it until she watched her show herself and found that she's been saying "fantastic" all over the place! She also gave examples of some trendy words that people always use in their sentences, i.e. saying "like", "you know what I'm sayin'". She mentioned that she has a friend who keeps saying "literally" all the time! So for Ellen, she made a deal with her producers that if she uttered the word, "fantastic" on today's show, she'd hear a loud buzzer ("eckkk!") reminding her of that. That's funny! So, she fished out a list of words she could use instead of "fantastic." Unfortunately, all throughout the show, Ellen couldn't help uttering her favorite word so we heard the buzzer sound going off even in the middle of interviewing her guests! It was hilarious!
• Guess who was sitting in the "Luxury Box" today? None other than Mama Ellen - yep, Betty was sitting there, very comfortably indeed! She told Ellen the red sofa seat was very comfy to her. Good job, Thom Filicia!
• Remember the pregnant woman who invited Ellen to be her birth coach which Ellen declined? Well, today, Ellen made a "surprise" visit to Ashleigh Carroll's house in Memphis, Tennessee!! Well, it wasn't actually Ellen at the door herself, it was Houston, bringing loads of gifts from Ellen's show including a live feed from the studio where Ellen was taping today's show! So, Ellen could talk to Ashleigh & her hubby when Houston gave them a surprise! It was very cool. The lucky couple and their newborn baby boy got so much gifts, they could barely utter anything. And then the biggest one of it all was a pair of plane tickets to Universal Studios in LA AND tickets to attend Ellen's show!! When Ellen announced that to them through the live feed, the couple was so happy and excited (they were literally jumping with joy & utter excitement like a couple of kids!) that it was as if the hubby was going to drop their baby from his arms (well, of 'coz not, but visually, it looked like it)! Then Ellen asked Ashleigh if she needed anything else for Houston to do - she did. She asked if Houston could fall down from the stairs in the house, believe it or not! And the stairs - well, they were pretty narrow & dangerous. But Houston, being a good sport as usual, didn't disappoint - right on cue, he fell down the stairs, very convincingly! Thank goodness he wasn't hurt! Ellen, while watching the whole thing through the live feed in LA, sounded very worried and was relieved that it was over and Houston was alright! The 1st thing she said to the couple after Houston's dangerous stunt was, "Now, let's hope we don't have any lawsuits going on after this.!" Well, you can say that again, Ellen!

Woody Harrelson came on and did a little bit of dancing, which surprised Ellen very much. When they were seated, Ellen expressed her surprise because she knew Woody never liked to dance in public! Obviously Woody & Ellen are friends. They were in "EdTV" together, remember? Ellen asked what he had been doing during his 4-year absence from Hollywood. He was taking some time off and 4 years later, he decided that he liked what he used to do - acting. So, he made 4 movies since returning to Hollywood. One of them, is the action-romantic-comedy movie, "After the Sunset" which also stars Pierce Brosnan & Salma Hayek. Ellen obviously saw the movie & said that she really liked it - it was light-hearted & funny. In the movie, Woody's character had to dance some salsa with Salma's character, so Ellen asked if it was difficult for him to do, especially when the scene was being shot, there wasn't any music. So, he had to act as if there was music that made him move! Woody said he had a pretty hard time doing it but had to do so 'coz it was part of the scene. Then Ellen told everyone that Woody was supposed to do an Elvis Presley impersonation next (which Woody just glared at Ellen jokingly) but they were running out of time. The next thing we knew, Woody uttered, "Thank you very much" in that low, Elvis-like voice! It was pretty good! You can catch Woody in action in "After The Sunset" which is showing at the theaters near you.

Ellen welcomed back his favorite chef, Jamie Oliver, to the show. She likes him because he uses the simplest cooking methods. This time, Jamie asked Ellen to help him make a tuna salad. It was very funny indeed because Ellen was trying to toss the salad the right way. And since Jamie's British, obviously there were some words that he pronounced differently which Ellen was making fun of! One cool thing she managed to do though - she was able to flip the tuna fillets in the frying pan without a hitch!! She herself was impressed and surprised by her success!! Jamie has a book out called "Jamie's Dinners: The Essential Family Cookbook" which Ellen gave out to the audience.

Ellen had Serena Williams before and now it was Venus Williams' turn!! Fantabulous!! Venus, in a nutshell, is shyer & quieter than her sis. But she was enjoying Ellen's comics and was having fun with the interview. Before Venus left, Ellen, of 'coz, had to challenge her to a game. For Venus, it was serving tennis balls through a hoop! Yep, whoever could get 10 balls served through the hoop would win the challenge. Of 'coz Venus won with 4 balls whereas Ellen only had 2 out of 10! The best thing was when Venus hit her last ball, she hit it so hard the ball broke the hoop altogether!! When Ellen saw that, she also wanted to hit that hard as well! It was hilarious!!

One more thing - yes, it's true. Woody got to do an Elvis Presley impersonation right in front of the cheering audience!! Yep, he did that whole leg twisting moves that Elvis was famous for while singing "Blue Suede Shoes" with no music to accompany him! His voice was ok! He did pretty well!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about running out of dance moves!
• Remember Ellen's New York City adventure for her first-ever "RSVP Ellen" segment? Well, today was the day she showed us clips of her gallavanting moments in NYC. Ellen was seen walking on the streets of the famous Times Square. Loads of people were watching, calling out her name, "Ellen! Ellen!" She was wearing a ski-cap, thick black coat and scarf (it looked pretty cold!). Then we saw the couple who invited Ellen - Jane & Russ Launer from NYC, Manhattan, explaining their invitation. FYI, Jane is a school teacher. OK, then we saw Ellen dropping by their apartment. When she entered it, she was welcomed by the pregnant Jane, Russ and their doggie. Very cute doggie, btw! The couple showed Ellen around and the 1st thing we saw was a huge colorful, made-up banner, "Welcome Ellen!" which was done by Jane's 3rd grade students! It looked really fancy with lots of stuff on decorated on the banner. They sat down for a little while before shooting off to the venue where the Charity Casino Night was held - Glen Cove. There Ellen was met by a big group of people including Jane's mom! Ellen played Black Jack, Roulette, and she seemed to have a lot of fun. Jane obviously was! At the end of the night, Ellen told Jane & Russ that she was going to donate $5,000 to the charity under the couple & their unborn baby's names!! Ain't that cool!! The couple was literally screaming with joy and hugged Ellen endlessly! Also, to end the night, the charity organizer presented Ellen with a plaque expressing their heartfelt gratitude for her attendance. It was really a fabulous night indeed. So, there you are...
• Back on the show, Ellen introduced Jane to everyone and she came on holding the banner that Ellen's crew apparently forgot to take with them before they left Jane's apartment! Ellen and Jane opened up the huge banner for everyone to see. Then Ellen told Jane to be the 1st person to sit in the newly decorated "Luxury Box" with the banner hung around the glass box! Jane's husband, Russ, was sitting next to her, outside the box. She looked very happy & excited! Good for 'em, eh?

Teri Hatcher came on, looking very excited to see Ellen, and we could hear her say, "I love your show! I love you!" to Ellen. The host was flattered by such lovely compliments, obviously. Teri never looked better! Boy, some people can age very, very nicely, indeed, man! The first thing that Ellen said to Teri was that she was a little disappointed that Teri didn't dance when she came out as she expected 'coz, fyi, Teri started her acting career as a dancer! Yep, and before we knew it (including Teri), Ellen showed a clip of Teri's dance performance of "All That Jazz" on the classic series, "The Love Boat", much to Teri's embarrassment! It was very funny! Teri, who was, by this time, red with embarrassment, uttered that the clip reminded her of how old she she's gotten! But Ellen responded that Teri's never looked better. In fact she looks better now than when she was very young doing her stint on "The Love Boat", which flattered Teri very much. She did admit that she feels better in her own skin now than before. So that's good! Then they talked about Teri's new hit series, "Desperate Housewives", that has taken America by storm with the ratings. Ellen asked if she knew that the series would garner such huge ratings and household popularity. Teri admitted that she kinda knew about it when she read the script of the pilot episode. FYI, the series' writer is the one who wrote "The Golden Girls" which was very popular back in the 80's. Ellen expressed how much she loves "Desperate Housewives" which Teri was delighted to hear that. Then Ellen asked about Teri's 7-year-old daughter. Teri said that she and her daughter have always been very close. She would take her everywhere she went even when she was just a little baby. So, obviously they have a great mother-and-daughter relationships. Once of the rituals that Teri does with her daughter is to go camping in her 1978 (I think!) VW Camper.

Teri also said that she loves magic so Ellen gave her a surprise! Yep, in a blink of an eye, Ellen was dressed in the magician's cape and started performing the classic magic stunt along with her very own assistant - the stunt where the assistant steps into a human-sized box and the magician starts to slide in seemingly sharp blades into the box with the assistant in there, then moves one of the segments, you folks know what it is, right? Well, Ellen did that but fumbled a little with moving the blades into the box and sliding the middle section, uttering "I've only learnt how to do this today!" while trying to place back the middle section so that her assistant could get out of the box again! Teri was a little terrified when it looked like Ellen couldn't slide the middle section back into place! It was hilarious! But finally, mission accomplished!! Ellen's a magician! You can catch Teri in action in "Desperate Housewives" every Sunday at 9p on FOX.

Ellen welcomed back Maroon 5 who performed their new single, "Sunday Morning". Have we mentioned that Ellen absolutely adores the group? She said that last year nobody knew who Maroon 5 was but since appearing on the show, the group has had a couple of hit singles and they're one of the popular groups now! "Looks like we have our finger on the button here," claimed Ellen about noticing potentially good music groups! Yes, you're right, Ellen! Keep it up!

Ellen introduced 15-year-old soccer sensation, Fred Adu who came on doing some cool dance moves which Ellen tried to imitate! He gave Ellen an MLS Soccer jersey equipped with Ellen's name on the back along with Fred's team number (#9)! COOL! Ellen liked it very much especially when the color was her favorite - blue! Ellen asked about how Fred got to be noticed and eventually given a $1-million-dollar deal in the pro soccer league. FYI, Fred's originally from Ghana (West Africa). He moved to the U.S. 7 years ago & was first noticed in school during recess when he was playing soccer - he was in his 4th grade, then. Wow!! Even with so much money he's obviously earning at such a tender age along with lots of endorsements, Fred was very down-to-earth, which Ellen pointed out. He humbly gave all the credit to his family and those around him who keep him grounded. Finally, Ellen asked Fred to show her some soccer moves. He was fantastic! Nate who played the goalie couldn't catch any of the balls he kicked!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about relaxation and mentioned that she likes to hear the sound of rain because..."I live in a..uh..chicken coup..it's been converted into a living space & uh...oh, the chickens love it..but um..when it starts to rain, it's not real relaxing 'coz when it first starts to rain, your 1st thought is, 'oh, oh, no, what did I leave outside' - that's your 1st thought. Then you're like, 'Oh, GOD, mother..!' Water seems to be very, very relaxing. A babbling brook, is relaxing...although, not a babbling person named Brook. That is not relaxing...although, Brooke Shields, is relaxing. Certain colors, they say, I found out that, did you know this, I didn't know this.. uh..Green is a very, very relaxing. The color green...which I assume that's why we see cows lingering in the green pasture. You never see them racing through, trying to get outta there! It's also, green is very, very relaxing on your eyes, they say. So, the next time your eyes are tired, count your money, & you'll feel...renewed!"
• Ellen updated everyone about Houston and his dream to be in a movie. Remember her talk with the Casting Dept. at WB for the movie version of "Dukes of Hazzard"? Well, Houston's been asked to go for an audition for a part where he'd be showing not only his stunt talent but also acting! So, today, Ellen had him and Nate rehearse his part on the show. It was funny, man! They were doing the part in front of a green screen where the show inserted some car-chasing scene on it when the rehearsal began! Yep, Houston had to get beaten up here & there, & he did a good job at it. So, we'll see, eh?

Remember the "Luxury Box"? Well, the reconstruction was finally done! Apparently, Ellen had Thom Filicia, from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", to do the decorating! So, when Ellen welcomed back Thom, the "Luxury Box" was under a big black cloth. They both revealed it and...wow..very cool, very hip!! Yep, the old look - which was like a judge's courtroom sitting box, was gone (good riddance)! And in came a bright red, reclining and swiveling chair!! The whole area was surrounded by glass up to the knee level, & was decorated with plants. Beside the chair, there was a sleek table with flowers and space to put drinks/snacks. And guess what? Thom actually used a brown leathery material to cover the floor of the "Luxury Box"!!! Wow! One lucky person from the "Riff-Raff" will be enjoying this every day, that's for sure! Let's hope it's not gonna be too relaxing that the person starts dozing off during the show, eh?!

Ellen welcomed Kate Winslet back to her show. She was glad to see Kate again and complimented on how good she looked! They talked about Kate's 2 sons and her recent marriage to director Sam Mendes ("American Beauty," "Road To Perdition"). Ellen then started talking about Kate's latest movie, "Finding Neverland", co-starring Johnny Depp & Julie Christie, which she watched yesterday and loved it. Can you believe that Ellen had NEVER watched "Peter Pan" or read the story in her life? Ever?! So, when she watched the movie, she knew nothing about the story of "Peter Pan", but still, she loved it 'coz it was done beautifully. Ellen especially liked the little boy who played Kate's youngest son in the movie 'coz he was really good. And of 'coz when there's Johnny Depp in a movie, one has to ask about him. Ellen was no exception. So Kate told everyone how sweet and cool Johhny was on the set and because he's a dad in real life too, he was really good with the kids on the set. There was a scene where the kids had to laugh & chuckle & because it's hard to make kids laugh on cue. So, Johnny brought in a fart machine and put it underneath Julie Christie's chair while doing the scene. So, unbeknownst to poor ol' Julie, Johnny would press the button periodically while she did her lines! Obviously, the kids were laughing so hard whenever they heard the farting sound, which seemed like it came from Julie! They laughed so hard that one of them nearly fell off his chair! So, we could sense that Kate, Johnny & the rest of the cast & crew had a real good time filming the movie, which Kate was very proud of. Oh, did you know that when Kate was a kid, she always wanted to fly, after she saw "Peter Pan?" She actually thought that she could fly! Of 'coz she ended up with a bloody nose & grazed knees!! So, Ellen had an idea to make her fly, much to Kate's amazement! Yep, Ellen got her to lie down beside her on a table in front of the green screen. And voila! One minute they were lying in front of a green screen, the next minute, they were flying in the sky!! Yes, both women were pretending to fly with their arms extended like "Superman," believe it or not!!! Looked like Kate had a fun time! Catch the magical movie, "Finding Neverland," at the theatres near you!!

Chad Michael Murray came on & the crowd went crazy especially the young girls! Gosh! He looked pretty shy. Ellen congratulated him for being engaged recently. Chad's fiancee is the girl (don't know her) from his series, "One Tree Hill." So we can safely guess that they met while shooting their series together, eh? Gosh, these Hollywood celebs keep getting engaged or married younger & younger!! Is it a trend?! Anyway, you'll also remember Chad in the blockbuster hit, "Freaky Friday", not such a big hit, "A Cinderella Story" & guest-starring in another WB series, "Gilmore Girls." Before Chad left, he taught Ellen some ice-hockey moves. Yep, after the commercial break, they were in the glider rink (looks like an ice rink but it's not) in the "Riff-Raff" room, in ice-hockey skates with their hockey sticks!! Ellen looked pretty uncomfortable! Houston was also in the rink and he was the goalie. Chad taught Ellen how to shoot pucks. He did a good job. Ellen tried but her hits weren't that strong so Houston would always catch the puck before it went in the net! It was funny! You can catch Chad in action in the popular series, "One Tree Hill" on WB.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue was about public speaking, the fact that while most people are afraid of speaking in public, that's not the case for her. In fact, the bigger the audience, the better she feels! But if the group gets smaller, she gets more nervous. She gave an example - her business dinner in NYC this past weekend where she was among some famous people. Remember her photo/commercial shoot for the AMEX ad campaign in NYC? Well, if you remember, apart from Ellen chosen to be AMEX's spokesperson, there were a few famous celebs from the entertainment and sports worlds. So, back to her business dinner - she was sitting with the likes of THE Robert De Niro, THE Martin Scorsese, Laird Hamilton (with his wife), Anne Leibowitz...there were 12 people. In such a small crown AND with such famous people, she practically froze and was speechless most of the evening! All of a sudden, she felt like a caveman 'coz whatever that came out of her mouth didn't really make any sense 'coz she was just too intimidated! Ahhh...that's adorable! Ellen, speechless??!
• Remember the viewer, Ashleigh Carroll, who invited Ellen to be her birth coach? Well, she had her baby boy without Ellen there. So today, Ellen decided to call her up to see how she & her baby John were doing. Of 'coz Ellen will be flying them to LA to be on the show! Ain't that sweet?!
• In support of "America's Second Harvest - The Nation's Food Bank Network," Ellen made a plea to everyone in the audience to bring in 2 perishable food items with them when they attend the tapings all throughout November. She also made a plea to everyone watching her show to support the organization in the interest of helping others & end hunger. She expressed that it'd make us feel good to help the others who need our help. Gosh, can Ellen BE any nicer & more caring?! For more info, you can check it out by going to the show's official website.

Ashley Judd came on looking sweet & dainty, as usual! FYI, she's married to a race-car driver. So, Ellen started asking her how she met her husband since it's really rare that movie celeb groups mingle with the race-car driving world. Believe it or not, Ashley revealed, it was like a blind date..kinda. They were at the same party and their friends kinda pushed them together. And guess what, they hit it off & the rest was history! They're celebrating their 3rd wedding anniversary. So Ellen tested Ashley if she knew about those symbols signifying every year, e.g. paper for the 1st anniversary, & so on & so forth. The 3rd's leather, so Ashley whispered to Ellen that she was thinking of getting her husband the leathery scent that he loves very much..or something like that! She also revealed that during her 1st (or 2nd) anniversary, she was so obssessed with what her husband was going to give her, she actually forgot to get her husband his gift! That was funny! Ellen commented on just how good Ashley's facial complexion was! FYI, Ashley's the latest spokesperson for Estee Lauder. She recently did a photo shoot in NYC along with a couple of labradors. Ellen showed everyone the pics & boy, did Ashley look just fabulous. Ellen also revealed that while most of the time when a celeb does a photo shoot, the make-up people, the mag people would do everything to cover every wrinkle on the face so it's perfect, for Ashley, they didn't have to do anything on her face 'coz she has a naturally beautiful, flawless complexion! Ashley loves dogs as well - she actually brought hers to the show but they were in her dressing room backstage. Before she left, Ellen asked Ashley to teach her square-dancing 'coz apparently Ashley loves to square-dance (well, she's from the south - Tennessee!). But Ashley had Ellen wear a ridiculously-looking dress and a straw hat that was way bigger than her head! It was so funny - Ellen with the orange-colored long dress worn over her pants with her face literally covered up by the big, fat hat, trying to learn how to square-dance!! Hilarious!

Ellen welcomed Ruben Studdard ("American Idol" champ) back to the show again. This time, he performed his single, "I Need An Angel" from his new CD with the same title.

Guess what? If you loved "Finding Nemo" the animated movie, fasten your seat-belts 'coz Disney/Pixar has the huge blockbuster hit available in another genre...It's "Finding Nemo ON ICE"!!! Yep, so check it out when it comes to your cities! The "Finding Nemo On Ice" performers gave us a little preview in the Riff-Raff room. They did a tiny segment with the 3 main characters (Dory, Marlin & Nemo) with voice-overs of Ellen & gang from the animated movie. Very cute!

Oh, & one more thing - It was Ellen's "Here & Now" tour on ice!! Yep, an Ellen-look-alike did a segment from Ellen's stand-up while skating!! It was funny!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Remember the "Luxury Box" on the show where one lucky winner from the "Riff Raff" room gets to sit right in front of the studio to watch the entire show along with food service as well? Ok, the "Luxury Box" has been covered all this while 'coz apparently it's been under reconstruction. So today, before the show started, everyone in line to watch the taping was asked to put in a piece of paper of what they thought their "luxury" meant. Ellen read a few of the suggestions and picked one lucky winner whose idea of "luxury" for her was to be in pyjamas enjoying a glass of milk and cookies! And guess what, Ellen had someone give her all that right there! Yep, when the show returned from the commercial break, we saw that the woman was sitting in the audience dressed in the pyjamas and having her milk & cookies! Wayda go, Ellen!!

Jamie Foxx returned to the show for the 2nd time. Ellen was very excited to see him and wouldn't stop raving about how absolutely talented Jamie was in his latest movie, "Ray," which he portrays the legendary Ray Charles. Ellen mentioned Oscar buzz as well. Jamie was very humble and was appreciative about it. He mentioned how his 10-year-old daughter simply loves Ellen. Not only because of "Finding Nemo," but she watches the show as well! He told Ellen that at the premiere of "Ray," he was with her daughter. A lot of celebs were there including teen idol, Usher, but his daughter was like, "Okay." But then when she saw Ellen, she went all excited and kept on saying how she loves Ellen!! That was funny! Ellen was a little embarrassed but looked really pleased! Who wouldn't! They then talked about Jamie filming "Ray" and how in order to get the real feeling of being blind, Jamie asked for his eyes to be glued all throughout the filming, meaning 12-14 hours a day! He remembered that it was very difficult at first but he did get a raw feel of being blind. But at first, the crew weren't used to Jamie having his eyes glued shut so whenever they'd go to lunch, they'd leave Jamie behind!! That was funny! Jamie explained that was what Ray Charles had to go through because people around him tended to forget that he was blind, so.. Before he left the show, Jamie performed a Ray Charles song that was absolutely fantastic. Jamie Foxx truly has a fantastic voice, man! "Ray" is in theaters everywhere now.

It was Jeffrey Tambor's 2nd visit to Ellen's show as well. Ellen asked him if he was still made to look small on the red carpet at this year's Primetime Emmy Awards 'coz the last time Jeffrey was on the show, he described to Ellen how embarrassing he was while walking on the red carpet with all the other celebs. Unfortunately, Jeffrey said that he felt the same way as the last Emmy Awards! Oh well...! You can catch Jeffrey in action in Fox's critically acclaimed, Emmy-winning comedy, "Arrested Development." It's 2nd season just premiered this past weekend. Check it out!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about dumb criminals - yes, true story, which we've all seen in papers. "You know, they're talking about the dumbing down of America, that mediocrity is taking over America. It's trickled down to the criminals now. Criminals are just as stupid as can be. You've seen them in "Cops." A guy with no shirt on, running away with a piggy bank..urghh..under his...what're you gonna do? What're you gonna do when they come for you?! Bad boy!! I'll tell ya - you don't sign a waiver is what you do when they hand you the thing to sign, don't sign it. What are these people thinking?! They're out there, they sign to...they're not...they're blurred..you know exactly who...what are they thinkin'? 'Well, they'll see that I'm innocent.' Well, trying to flush down a rifle in the toilet is what they're trying to do! These are true stories. I was reading a small town newspaper somewhere in North Carolina. There was a guy who was trying to rob a bank. As he was walking to the bank, he put his ski-mask on, like a block before he got to the bank. So people inside the bank just walked to the door and locked the door! And in Illinois, same thing happened. The guy put a stocking over his head & walked to the bank & the people saw him and went to lock the door. And the police came and got him which means he stood there long enough...!! The best day, I think, to rob anybody at all is Halloween because a lot of people have masks on & that'd be the safest..you know..just a word to the criminals out there if they're watching.. 'Coz people, they're only suspicious if you show up at the door not wearing a mask. Hey, did any criminal wear the fish-net stockings when they're..? I guess if you're flirting with the teller you'd wear the fish- net..or robbing a fish market...'All your flounder. In the bag.'"

It was all about Sir Elton John today. Yep!! Ellen did the entire interview by the piano with Elton. Very cool. Ellen asked about Elton's Las Vegas show and couldn't wait to see it herself. Coincidentally, Celine Dion is also performing in Vegas. So Ellen asked him, "Who's the bigger diva? You or Celine Dion?" That was funny! Then Ellen asked about Elton's recent run-in with the immigration officials & paparazzi at the airport in Taiwan. He told the story - he just finished his concert in China and had to fly out to Taiwan for his next one. But since there's no direct flights between China and Taiwan, he had to lay over in HK. So by the time he reached Taipei airport, he was very tired. Lo & behold, when he touched down, he was swarmed by the paparazzi, cameras everywhere, fans, etc.. It was so difficult for him to even walk toward the Immigration/Customs counters! And as if not enough, when he was going through the Immigration, you'd think that the officials would prevent the paparazzi from pushing their way through Elton and his crew. But nooooo...the officials apparently didn't care so Elton was hounded non-stop all through the airport without any kind of security for him!! So finally, he just lost it & shouted at the officials. So, that was that. In between the interview, Elton sang a couple of songs, one of them being "Crocodile Rock". Then they talked about yet another incident concerning Elton's outspokenness. Apparently, he criticized Madonna about being nominated in the "Best Live Gig" category in some Awards show in Britain. Elton thought that while Madonna's a great performer, due to the fact that in her performance, she had a few songs where they were pre-recorded. So Madonna's show wouldn't technically be categorized under "Live". "Best Show", Elton would fully agree with, but definitely not "Best Live Gig". Ellen asked if this would affect his friendship with Madonna 'coz they've been friends a long time. Elton was like, "Yeah, we're friends...maybe not after this..!" Okey-dokey... Here's a wild suggestion - perhaps Sir Elton John should take it up to the Awards show people who nominated Madonna instead, eh?

Before she introduced Lois Morgan, the 79-year-old bowler who's also the oldest woman ever to bowl a perfect game (3 times in a row!), she showed everyone a local magazine called "Frames & Lanes" which featured Ellen on the cover. She mentioned that they found Lois in the magazine talking about her perfect games which prompted Ellen to invite her to her show. When Lois came on, they talked about how Lois got to be interested in bowling and Lois told Ellen about how during her younger days, girls weren't allowed to seen in bowling alleys 'coz they were supposedly "bad" places! She was in the army based in El Paso which was the time when she started taking up bowling as a hobby thing. The rest was history. Ellen then mentioned that she doesn't even bowl so she didn't know why she was featured in the magazine - probably after seeing Ellen bowl on her show, the magazine people decided to put her on the cover. Ellen asked if Lois was not pleased with it 'coz of all people, Lois should've been on the cover! Lois looked at Ellen and went, "No, I'm waiting to be featured in a thicker magazine." That cracked everyone up. FYI, the "Frames & Lanes" magazine is very thin, obviously a local, small town magazine. The town that Lois lives in only has a population of 230!! Go figure, eh? Anyway, Ellen showed everyone a tape of her bowling with Lois at the local bowling alley in Lois' town. My gosh, Lois was perfect! She had a perfect score every time she ran the bowling ball onto the pins!! Poor Ellen! She tried but her ball mostly hit the drain before reaching the pins!! Lois tried to teach her, telling her to sing while bowling the ball. Believe it or not, it worked! Ellen hit a perfect score! Back on the show, Ellen gave Lois a bowling jersey with "Ellen" on the back, a framed picture of Ellen and Lois, & a huge championship trophy! That was cool! Lois was a happy gal that day!!

Elton John performed one last song to end the show. If anyone's interested, Elton just released a DVD set featuring all of his classic concert shows. Plus, he has a new CD out called "Peachtree Road."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen was talking about octopuses today....yep, you read right..Octopuses!!! All kinds of 'em, different colors, different sizes.. She was very pleased with herself because she thought she was able to contribute some educational stuff for everyone especially those who're home-schooling..! Now, picture an octopus dancing with its 8 legs just like Ellen..!
• Ellen announced the "winner" of the "RSVP Ellen" segment. Yep, as you might've guessed, she chose the invitation from Jane Launer from New York, who invited Ellen to an evening of gambling at home! So, Ellen called her up on the show and basically told her the good news. Jane could hardly believe her ears when Ellen told her that she and her mom, Betty, would be going to her home to play all kinds of casino card games!! Yeah, baby! Jane told Ellen that there'd be about 150 people attending the homemade casino on Saturday (11/6) along with her mom. FYI, the casino night is organized by Jane and her husband and all proceeds go to charity.
• Ellen had the soft ice-cream machine on the show! Yes, she did! So she started giving it out to the audience, one-by-one! That's cool!

Samuel L. Jackson came on & did a little dance. As always, he was dressed very cool which Ellen couldn't help commenting on it - his sneakers, jacket, pants, and his very cool glasses! Yep, seemed like Ellen wanted his outfit altogether! You can see Ellen wearing that, most definitely..well, not exactly Samuel's own outfit, but something like that! Samuel told a story about his obsession with sneakers which he developed since he was a kid 'coz at that time, his mom couldn't afford him those Converse sneakers. So, when he finally was well-off enough, he immediately got all kinds of sneakers he could think of and his obsession never ceased since then. Ellen mentioned that Samuel has a thing for glasses, too, which he explained that as long as he had to wear glasses, he thought he'd better get some cool frames & have some fun with his near-sightedness! Very smart idea, Sam! Samuel mentioned that he met Ellen's parents one night which threw Ellen off quite a bit 'coz she never thought that Sam met her parents! The thing is, Samuel & Ellen go to the same places so they always see each other. But Ellen still couldn't believe that he actually met both her parents without her knowledge! Then they talked about Samuel's latest movie, "The Incredibles" which he plays the voice of one of the superheroes called, "Frozone," in the Pixar animated movie.

David Ortiz from the world champ baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, came on, bearing gifts for Ellen! Yup, he gave Ellen a Red Sox baseball shirt with the number, "34" which Ellen immediately wore it over her outfit! As if not enough, David gave her another shirt, this time a red t-shirt with the phrase, "Who's Your Papi?" on it! As you may know, David's nickname is "Papi."

Rachel Bilson, from the mega-hit show, "O.C.," came on, looking a little nervous but was very sweet. They started talking about how "O.C." has become such a phenomenon and how they're still trying to adjust to their sudden fame. Rachel expressed that she's simply blessed by all the attention. Ellen then asked if it was true that she just bought a house which she confirmed. Ellen assumed that she's living with her boyfriend (the guy who co-stars with her on "O.C." who's rumored to be her off-screen boyfriend) but Rachel went very quiet, stared at Ellen and went, "I'm...living with..my friend..Lea" and Ellen went, "Oh, so, you're living with a roommate?" Rachel nodded and would't say anymore especially about her apparent boyfriend! Ellen was like, "So, no Adam?" (presumably that's the name of the guy she's supposedly seeing) Rachel continued her silence but Ellen just wouldn't give up & pressed on, "So, you're not gonna talk about it, huh? " And Rachel finally replied, "Well, I'll tell all if you tell all!" The whole audience just cracked up! Hmm...wonder what she meant by that, eh? Anyway, apparently Rachel used to have a life-size cardboard cutout of Britney Spears!! Oh, wow! Ellen was like, 'Where in the world did you get that?' So Rachel explained that the cardboard cutout was stolen from a 7-Eleven store by her friend and given to her so she just accepted it, no questions asked! Ellen looked at her like, "This girl needs help!" Who collects life-size cardboard cutout of anyone?! But Rachel tried to defend herself and said that since she moved to her new place, she'd lost the cutout! Well, wonder if that's true, eh? Anyhow, Ellen brought in her own life-size cardboard cutout & gave it to her, much to Rachel's absolute delight! Apparently, apart from her craze with life-size cardboard cutout of certain celebrities, Rachel collects slippers, too. So Ellen gave her a pair of fuzzy slippers with the Ellen stickers on them!! Before Rachel left, Ellen took her to the Riff-Raff room to meet her fans and to give out the soft ice-cream! The fans went crazy and hugged took turns hugging the timid, petite actress! Boy, oh boy!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen was rambling about the many different kinds of facial products these days. She remembered that when she was a kid, it was only the soap! Now, there are just limitless brands and types of products including the use of mud!! So, of 'coz, Ellen made fun of all the facial lotions, mud masks, you name it!
• Ellen got a shocking surprise - remember that she was invited to be the birth coach through one of the invitations in the "RSVP Ellen" segment? So she's been holding on to a pager that would tell her when the baby is due. So, today, in the middle of rambling to the audience, the pager went off!! Ellen got the shock of her life, literally! She was stunned & looked at the producers off-camera, uttering, "Ok. What happens? Do I call her now?" It was all so very adorable 'coz Ellen was truly not prepared for that! She even mistook "induce" for "induct" when the viewer told her that she needed to be induced. Ellen was like, "What d'ya mean induce? To the Hall of Fame?" The viewer was like, "Induce. Not Induct!" Aw, shucks!

The whole cast of "Will & Grace" was on backstage because nobody knew who was supposed to go out to sit with Ellen first! So, they drew straws and the 1st one to go out was Eric McCormack. When he came on, he was dancing very gracefully, like he was on Broadway or something! He finally sat down and they started talking about Eric's 2-year-old son. After commercial, the cameras were on the 3 of the cast members still waiting backstage but this time, they were being massaged by professional masseuses! Next, was Megan Mullaly. She actually brought her masseuse with her when she came on 'coz she was getting too comfortable to part with her masseuse backstage! Of 'coz Eric, not having one for himself, was voicing his complaint. The next thing we knew, a masseuse from backstage came on the show to give Eric a massage right there! It was hilarious!! Ellen announced that Megan just got married recently but couldn't believe that she was not invited because Ellen & Megan are friends! But Megan told her that her marriage was a secret kind of thing and she didn't want everyone to know. It was a small gathering. That's why a lot of people weren't invited.

Next, it was Debra Messing's turn to come on. And without wasting any time, she had a bone to pick with Ellen, much to Ellen's surprise! Well, it was about Ellen giving Gwyneth Paltrow a baby pram on the show while Debra only got endless boxes of cereal...and both actresses were pregnant at that time!!! Everyone was laughing 'coz Ellen looked astonished and didn't quite know what to say! Then Ellen tried to explain herself, saying that she gave Debra cereal becoz Debra, then pregnant, told her that she was craving wheaties. So, naturally, Ellen got her boxes and boxes of cereal!! All this while, Debra just kept on bitching about it. So, finally, Ellen heeded to her complaints & told her that she got her something. You'd think that it'd be a baby pram, right? But lo & behold, it was a can of baby cereal (Cerelac-type)!!!! Debra just cracked up uncontrollably! That was a good one!! Debra acted as if she was still not satisfied which, by this time, Ellen was probably pulling her hair out of frustration already since it didn't look like she could make Debra happy with anything. But at the end of it, Debra just laughed out loud, showing Ellen that she was only giving her a hard time. So all was well in the end, thank God! Finally, Sean Hayes came on and they talked about Sean's last visit to the show where he did the agility test which was what he'd always wanted to do. Then all 4 of them talked about their hit sitcom and their favorite episodes. Guess which episode was Ellen's favorite? Ah-hah..obviously it was the one where Ellen was a special guest-star, what else! In it, she played a nun....talk about a type-cast, eh? You can catch Eric, Debra, Megan & Sean in action on "Will & Grace" every Thursday night on NBC.

Oops, & one more thing! Ellen & the cast of "Will & Grace" had a race on-stage!! Yep, it was the hippety-hop race between Ellen & Sean Hayes/Megan Mullaly!! It was so damn funny because Sean had Megan sitting behind him on the hippety-hop while Ellen was all by herself and when Debra & Eric started the race, Ellen & Sean were fighting to be in front (it's hard to race on the hippety-hop 'coz you're literally hopping on that big thing!) that half-way through, when both the hippety-hops were kinda stuck among the cameras, poor Megan fell off the hippety-hop and she just lied there laughing her head off, while the other 2 "big kids" (Ellen & Sean, of 'coz!) just kept on racing! Well, we all know how competitive Ellen is but Sean wouldn't let up. Just when Ellen was reaching the finishing line, with Sean right behind her, Sean, out of desperation, lifted up his hippety-hop over Ellen's head and dropped it right in front of her so he won the race, much to Ellen's dismay!! The whole audience went crazy with laughter 'coz it was one of the funniest things on the show, ever! All this while, Ellen, panting out of breath from the hopping, kept on screaming at Sean, "You, cheater!! You're a cheater!!" Boy, was that a good ending to the show!! And as if watching all this ruckus unfold before their eyes wasn't enough, everyone also got all the "Will & Grace" goodies as well, ranging from the latest DVD set, the CD soundtrack and their official book!! Absolutely fabulous!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• In her monologue today, Ellen was raving about the reality TV program, "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," and how it's so emotional at the end of every episode when families' homes get a complete makeover to their surprise and delight. In fact, it's so emotional that Ellen just can't help shedding tears when she watches it! Also, she reminded everyone not to confuse this reality program to another reality program with the same name..well..sort of.. it's the "face edition" (which is what Ellen referred to!) of "Extreme Makeover"! So, people, if you're like Ellen, and like to bawl over home makeovers, then check it out!
• Remember the day when James Spader was on the show and they talked about the spice rack with stickers that had James' face on 'em? Well, the spice rack has been put up for auction on eBay. It's called the "James Spader & Ellen DeGeneres Signed Spice Rack" (or something to that fact) where not only do you have the James Spader stickers, you also have the Ellen DeGeneres stickers too, which you can put on any spice you want. The bid's up to over $1,000 now. All the proceeds will go to charity. So, if you're interested, simply click on to eBay and find it!

Ellen welcomed back Deidre Hall, veteran star of the long-running soap, "Days of Our Lives," to the show. Ellen remembered that the last time Deidre was on the show, she was talking about her character on "Days" about being the Salem killer (to those of you who've been watching "Days", you'll know what's being mentioned here!) and she'd die. But now, it seems like Deidre's character still lives (yeah, 'coz Deidre, the actress, is still on the show!). So Deidre explained to the seemingly confused Ellen that her character, later on, turned out not to be the Salem killer after all! For some reason, her character ends up in an island and she finds all the people that she'd supposedly killed, are still living on the island which is a replica of the city that they all used to live!! Yes, if your head is starting to explode, that's very understandable, given the circumstances with the storyline..! Anyway, before Deidre left, she & Ellen did a soap scene that had all the cliche script lines that you've probably heard from the show throughout the years. It was so funny because Ellen couldn't help chuckling and fumbling on her lines!!

Sheri Sheppard returned to the show & by gosh, has she lost weight, & I mean... A LOT!! She looked so different now! But her tongue is as sharp as ever! Ellen reminded Sheri that the last time she was on the show, she told Ellen that her husband bought her a pole for their bedroom! So, curious Ellen wanted to know more about it and what happened with it since then. Aw, man, the stories Sheri drummed up about the pole was excruciatingly funny, man!! About how she got stuck on the pole in the middle of trying to do the strip club stint (where the girls would slide down the pole)...Ellen was literally dying from laughter! Sheri talked about her recent attendance at the celebrity fashion show and how she was sitting right behind the runway pretending to write something on the pad just like everyone else was, without knowing the purpose of it! Ellen then asked why the models on the catwalk always look so angry and guess what Sheri said? "These girls look angry because they're hungry!! Give 'em something to eat, & they'll be fine!" (endless joke about models being so goddamn skinny & bony!) That just brought the house down, man! You can catch Sheri in action in the sitcom, "Less Than Perfect".

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen came out wearing, guess what...a "Vote" sign!!! YYESSSS!!! A siltent plea for everyone to go out and vote today!! Yes, it is the most important election in US history and also an imperative one for the whole world!!! A silent plea from Ellen, who normally won't talk about anything related to politics, but nevertheless, a good plea indeed!! Thank you, Ellen! Good job!
• Ellen's monologue was about the dung beatle...yes, you read correctly. She mentioned that she was reading something about it the other day and found that the dung beatle is one of the species that's fast disappearing from the face of the earth! Yep, count on Ellen to share that info with us, eh? Well, as we all know, Ellen's love for animals (& bugs for that matter!) is well-known, so.. Anyway, she rambled about the cause and effect of a lot of things, i.e. chaos theory, including the importance of the dung beatle's existence, saying that if the species vanished, it'd mean that some animals would have lost their food because they eat dung beatles! Y'all know the food chain, right? Well, that was that!
• Ellen reported the result of the tennis racket that Serena Williams signed the other day when she was on the show which was being auctioned off on eBay. Now that the bid is closed (it was closed yesterday), the total bid amount came out to over $4,000!! Ellen expressed her gratitude especially when all the proceeds would go to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Kevin James came on, his 2nd visit to Ellen's show. He announced that he just got married recently. He told Ellen how he'd gained all his weight back all because of Leah Remini, her on-screen wife in "King of Queens"! Yes, as you may know, Leah just had a baby so she still had her pregnant weight on and didn't want to be the only one with weight gain issues on the set. So she asked Kevin to gain weight just to accompany her so she wouldn't feel bad! And guess what, he did!! Awww, how sweet!! That's how he gained back his weight. But now, Leah's lost all the weight so Kevin's trying very hard to lose his, too! So he's going to the gym per his doctor's advice. Alas, he hates the gym he goes to. Why? Because, as Kevin revealed, it's full of old people!! So whenever he's in the locker room where everyone gets changed, it's not a pretty sight at all to look at saggy, old skin & sure doesn't encourage or inspire him or anything! So he's depressed! That story was so funny, the audience just loved it! Not only is Kevin a funny guy, he's also very sweet. Remember Ellen trying to get Houston a job as a stuntman in the upcoming movie, "Dukes of Hazzard"? Well, Nathan from the Casting Dept. told Ellen that before Houston could start in the movie, he'd have to get a SAG card. FYI, in order to obtain a SAG card, you'd have to be cast in a role either in the small or big screen first. So when Kevin heard about that, he told Ellen that he could arrange for Houston to appear in a cameo role in his sitcom, "King of Queens" if they wanted to. Awww, can Kevin BE any nicer?!! Anyway, Ellen was very appreciative of his offer & accepted gleefully! So, don't be surprised to see Houston popping up in a cameo in Kevin's sitcom very soon, eh? You can catch Kevin James in action in "King of Queens" on CBS every Wednesday at 9p.

Shannen Doherty, from "Beverly Hills: 90210" and "Charmed" fame, came on. Boy, she looked so different and very petite indeed! They were talking about something and Shannen started telling Ellen her experience while on her vacation. Apparently, she took a diving trip to observe sharks! So, the captain of the boat put her in a cage underwater so she could watch the sharks swim by without risking her life! But, to her luck, the bars on the cage were very far apart and because she's so petite, she could easily get in and out of the cage in-between those bars without any difficulty! So while she was waiting in the cage, her legs would automatically be dangling outside those bars no matter how hard she tried to keep them in! Ellen, of 'coz, asked how big those sharks were and Shannen replied that the she saw sharks that were very small but some were up to 30 feet!!! And with that remark about "30 feet," Ellen just stared at Shannen, speechless! The next thing that came out of Ellen's mouth was, "Why do we keep getting liars on the show?! " And immediately the whole studio just cracked up loudly! It was absolutely hilarious!! Of 'coz y'all know about Ellen's take on Brittany Murphy's apparent lies, right? That's why nobody could stop laughing at Ellen's comment, this time about Shannen!

Then they talked about "Beverly Hills: 90210" where Ellen showed everyone some promo pictures from that hugely popular show in the 90's. Ellen couldn't help making fun of their outfits, though! She didn't feel that the show aired a long time ago, but their outfits looked ridiculous to her! Shannen brought Ellen some kind of sandwich that her mom specifically made for Ellen. So, of 'coz she had to try it. But, as we all know, Ellen really can't hide her feelings, so when she took a bite, you could see from her facial expression that she absolutely hated it! But she tried to say that it was delicious!! Awww, poor Shannen's mom! But don't worry, at the end of the show, Ellen welcomed Shannen's mom on-stage! That's cool!! Ellen must have felt pretty bad about her response to the food, eh? You can catch Shannen Doherty in action on Fox's drama series, "North Shore."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Remember Ellen trying to call the viewer who invited her for a night of casino at their home in New York but couldn't get through? Well, today, she finally got to talk to her! Yep, apparently the viewer saw the show when Ellen couldn't get through, so she e-mailed the show giving out her cell phone number instead! When Ellen called today & said that she was Ellen DeGeneres, the viewer was like, 'No, you're not!' It was funny! Anyhow, Ellen started asking her about the casino night. She and her husband are actually hosting a night of casino at their home and have invited about 150 people or something!!! The event is on Nov 6th. Since Ellen has plans to go to New York that weekend, she's seriously considering this seemingly exciting event. So, we shall see, eh? Oh, this viewer is also pregnant but not due 'til next February, so... If you didn't know already, Ellen's "RSVP Ellen" segment has generated a lot of attention nationwide. Well, whatever it takes since it's the November sweeps, eh!! So, if you have a special event that you wanna invite Ellen to, just go to the show's official website and send her an invite before it's too late!

Roseanne Barr came on all dressed up in pirate clothing, complete with the sword, the pirate hat & stuff! Obviously, this episode was aired on Friday or something!! So they talked about Roseanne's plans for the Halloween. She's actually built a pirate ship outside her house or something, so it obviously sounds fun! Plus, Roseanne has a 9-year-old son and a 5-year-old grandson (which she immediately hailed herself as Queen of all White trailer trash!) so they'll be having a blast this Halloween!! She's gonna have another grandchild coming next May. Congrats, Roseanne! Roseanne is going to be performing at the "New York Comedy Festival" in New York this November so she's very excited about it. FYI, Roseanne never performed stand-up in New York City before!! So, this event would be her 1st and she's so looking forward to it. She also has a children's program coming out on DVD so check it out if you're interested.

Orlando Jones came on and Ellen wondered if they ever formally met before this show. Orlando quickly replied that he saw Ellen in a gym when they were both pumping iron. With that remark, Ellen looked a little puzzled because she didn't remember pumping iron at all, only lifting weights! Orlando was like, "Well, I'm just reporting what I saw!" Then Ellen asked if Orlando still goes back to the South Carolina where he grew up. His mom & family is still in South Carolina whom he still goes to visit. His grandma lived to be 101-years-old before she passed on last year! Wow, talk about having a full life!! He mentioned that when his grandma turned 100, she would be waiting for the mail every day for the letter from the President (in the U.S., when you turn 100, you'll get a letter from the President) but sadly, the letter never came! And he talked about his mom doing something really funny recently - she managed to re-open Orlando's shopping credit card (Rich's) after years of having the a/c closed already (since he no longer lives in South Carolina) by posing as Orlando's wife!! That was a hoot!! Yep, all because she wanted to buy some crystal water! Sounds like Orlando did grow up among a bunch of funny family members, eh? You can catch Orlando Jones in action on NBC's animated sitcom, "Father of the Pride."

Then Ellen invited the infamous LA firefighter to the show who recently rescued a dog from the LA river in the midst of the rainy storm! This whole incident was on the TV news everywhere in Southern California so the firefighter is pretty well-known now, & all because of his heroic dog-saving stint!! Yep, he described the whole incident about saving Bruno, the dog from the raging river. Then Ellen invited the family who owns Bruno on-stage to talk about their experience of losing their dog. Apparently Bruno wasn't the only dog that got lost in the family. Their other dog, Bear, also got caught in the river and was rescued by another firefighter/rescue team! Both dogs appeared on-stage and poor creatures! Bruno had a bandage on his right paw 'coz he broke his nail & Bear also hurt his leg! Hope they get better soon! So, in return for what the LA firefighter and his rescue unit did, Ellen and Co. will be treating them to a nice dinner at a restaurant in LA! Also, for the dogs, Ellen & Co. gave the family huge gifts full of dog stuff! That's really cool!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• It's the Ell-O-Ween Day Special on the show!! The whole entire set was all Halloween!! Yep, when Ellen was introduced, she had her back toward the audience. And when she turned.... voila!!! Ellen was "Scarlett O'Hara"!! Yup, the leading lady from the classic, "Gone With The Wind"!!! Omigod!! Ellen was hilarious donning the whole Victorian-era outfit, including the bonnet!! She started talking with the Southern accent but then switched back & forth. She was clearly having a great time pretending to be "Scarlett!" She kept saying, "Oh, Mama!" just like "Scarlett" did in the movie!! Absolutely, most undoubtedly hilarious sight!! And what's more, Tony, who was dressed as "Rhet Butler" said the wrong name - he said "Charlotte" instead of "Scarlett"!!! And Ellen just looked at him, flabbergasted, going, "It's Scarlett..."! The whole audience was pretty much in stitches from laughter!!! Yes, Ellen or "Scarlett" did her routine dance even with the huge, seemingly heavy outfit she had on, that poor thing! So, when she finally got to her seat, she was practically panting out of breath!!! Oh, and she did show everyone what shoes she was wearing underneath that Victorian dress of hers - her usual pair of tennis shoes!!! What a ruckus she caused, man!! Absolutely fabulous, Ellen!!
• The entire Riff-Raff room was converted into a food fair of sorts, filled with all kinds of cookies and candies and other Halloween treats. Of 'coz the room was full of kids in costumes! It was great!

Alyssa Milano came on donning her Halloween costume - she was dressed as "Princess Lea" from "Star Wars" and in her arms, she was holding her pet chihuahua which was dressed as "Yoda"!! What a hoot!! They talked about Alyssa's long-standing series on TV from "Who's The Boss? " to "Melrose Place" and now "Charmed" which is in its 7th season, believe it or not! Then Ellen asked about Nick Lachey's recent guest appearance on "Charmed" and how he told her before that he used to have a crush on Alyssa! Alyssa told Ellen that Nick did reveal that to her right off the bat when he appeared on the set of "Charmed" the first time, just to get it out of the way before she found out from either the media or anybody else! Alyssa also mentioned what a sweet guy he was while on the set! And now he's going to have his own show on Fox.

David Copperfield (no, he wasn't dressed up for Halloween) came on and performed a brief magic or shall we say, an illusion. Yep, he shrunk himself in a layered metal box right in front of the audience! It was great!!

One more thing - everyone got Halloween goodies!! You should've seen those ecstatic kids jumping with joy at the sheer sight of the candies and treats!! The toys and stuff were donated by Toys R Us.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• This time, it was NBC's "Dateline" host, Stone Phillips, who knocked on Ellen's dressing room before she got out to start the show! Very funny, indeed!
• Ellen's monologue today was about sense of humor: "The top 3 qualities that, I read in an article, of what people look for in a person when they look for a relationship..Number 1 is always a sense of humor, & then number 2, they say, a good heart, & the 3rd is..a good liver..! No, but seriously, people always say sense of humor all the time & they say that that's the most important thing & I..it's flattering, you know, when you're somebody who makes a living making people laugh & you're thinking, 'ahhh, I got it made!', but I don't think that it really is up there once you start thinking about it. It's like a..bar full of men looking at a wet t-shirt contest going, 'I wonder if she has a good sense of humor? Sure she's attractive but what about a sense of humor?'" Then Ellen told everyone that she and her writers discovered an article about a woman Australia who spent $4,000 to rent a billboard on a highway just to find a husband! Yup, the billboard stated, "Husband Wanted" and listed a bunch of quality in a man that she was looking for! That's hilarious, not to mention, talk about being desperate, eh?! And of 'coz Ellen made fun of it!!
• Ellen updated everyone about the Serena Williams tennis racket charity auction on eBay. As of today, the bid was at more than $2K. But that's not enough so Ellen urged everyone to go check it out and place a bid. All the proceeds will go to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. FYI, the auction ends on November 1st. So, if anyone of you intend to place a bid, do go to eBay and do it before it's taken down.
• Ellen introduced yet another new "thing" on the show. Yup, apparently "RSVP: Ellen" has expanded to another new segment called "Ellen's Roving Reporter"! You see, since Ellen's been receiving tons of invitations to go or do something somewhere and she obviously can't do 'em all, so she thought that it'd be a good idea for people to record a 1-minute report on-camera about the stuff that they thought of inviting Ellen to go or do. That way, even though Ellen won't be able to go to all of them, at least she'd be able to watch 'em on video! That's a fabulous idea, Ellen! So, if you're interested to know about this, you can just log on to "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" website and get the info. Yes, you'll also get all the funny props for being a roving reporter for Ellen! You'll know what they are when you check out the website.
• Speaking of "RSVP: Ellen," there's one viewer who wrote to Ellen inviting her to a game of poker at her and her husband's house! That sounded like a good idea to Ellen so she started calling the viewer! But alas, nobody was home so Ellen couldn't call to surprise her. Oh well...

James Spader made his 2nd visit to Ellen's show today. Ellen congratulated him for winning the Emmy for "Best Actor in a Dramatic Series". She also told him that Anthony LaPaglia won $80 for betting on James winning the Emmy! James looked surprised that anyone would bet on him!! Yup, he told Ellen how unprepared he was because he's always hated all the competition stuff in Hollywood so he literally blocked his mind from even thinking about it even though he was nominated...well, at least up until his name was called on stage when he won! Then he just panicked and gave one of the funniest, unscripted speeches, not to mention, totally unrelated-to-Emmy-win one too when the only thing he said was about how everyone's attire and shoes looked great that night! Ellen loved his speech. Then Ellen asked James if he's gotten used to living in LA yet. FYI, James lived most his life in New York so he was used to walking a lot. So when he moved to LA and found that nobody walked in LA ( except if you're crazy or your car broke down or something!), he found it really difficult to adjust. But he's more or less settled down now although he still does his walking routine. That's funny! You can catch James Spader in action on ABC's new courtroom drama, "Boston Legal," airing on Sundays at 10p.

The legendary, always-flamboyant Debbie Reynolds came on dancing and lip-synching to the classic "There's No Business Like Showbusiness" song! She proceeded to dance with Ellen as the song faded away! That brought the house down! Debbie is truly a hoot, she's hilarious!! They talked about what Ellen mentioned earlier during her monologue - sense of humor - Ellen asked Debbie if it was indeed true about the sense of humor quality and she jokingly replied that she'd gone through 2 failed relationships simply because her husbands didn't have a sense of humor! She still does her performances in Las Vegas and she now has a show on the Disney channel called, "Halloweentown High".

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Guess what? At the beginning of the show, the cameras were panning to Alanis Morissette backstage walking towards Ellen's dressing room, knocked, and out came Ellen! That was cool! What a way to start the show, eh?!
• So Ellen was reading an article the other day and found it interesting that stress was bad for everyone! Yes, of 'coz she was being facetious about it since we ALL know that stress is not good for us! Anyway, she started telling the audience and viewers to take deep breaths since it's said to help relieve stress. So before you know it, you hear deep breathing sounds from the entire studio!! It was hilarious!
• Ellen's still holding on to the pager from the viewer who, along with her husband, have invited Ellen to be their birth coach through the "RSVP: Ellen" effort. So we're counting down the days!
• Also, when Serena Williams was on the show, she signed one of her Wilson tennis rackets and gave it up for charity. The tennis is on auction at eBay right now. Ellen urged everyone to go check it out. The bid is up to more than $1,000 already but that's not enough! All the proceeds will go to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. So do check it out!

Anthony LaPaglia made his 2nd visit to Ellen's show. Ellen immediately congratulated him for being nominated at the Primetime Emmy Awards for his performance in the CBS hit show, "Without A Trace." Anthony expressed that he didn't want to think about it even though everyone around him was sure that he'd win. Since everyone was talking about him winning, he thought that he was jinxed already. Besides, when he saw an episode of James Spader's performance in "The Practice," he immediately believed that James was sure to win. So he betted on James winning with his friends. And what happened? Voila! He was right!! He lost the Emmy but won $80 from his bet!! That was great! Ellen was impressed! Hey, did you know that Ellen had baby-sat for Anthony's kid before? Yup, Anthony's daughter, Bridget, is 2 years' old already and Ellen kept raving about how adorable and pretty she is! They talked about the upcoming Halloween and Ellen asked if Anthony was going to dress up. Of 'coz he's not gonna but his daughter will be! Ellen mentioned that she'd be dressing up for Friday's Halloween show but wouldn't tell what/who she's gonna dress up as! Guess we'll just have to catch Friday's episode to find out, eh? By the way, fyi, Anthony recently had a hip replacement surgery as a result of an injury incurred from playing soccer. So now he has a titanium hip which always trip on the alarm whenever he goes through the metal detector at the airport!

Ellen welcomed Alanis Morissette back to the show again. This time the Canadian singer only performed her new single, "Eight Easy Steps" from her CD, "So Called Chaos," and didn't sit down to chat with Ellen.

Next, Amanda Bynes came on, her 2nd visit to Ellen's show. Boy, she looked so much more grown up since her 1st visit last year! But guess what, she's still as down-to-earth as ever! Very surprising and Ellen was very impressed. Amanda told Ellen that she just turned 18. Instead of getting a place for her own to live, she still lives with her parents because she's grateful to be able to spend time with her family and they keep her grounded. Ellen looked at her in admiration for that! That's very cool for Amanda her age to still feel cool to like her parents and wants to spend time with them! God knows how many young celebrities who simply get sucked in to the Hollywood lifestyle after they turn 18! Amanda expressed that she likes to party and all but tries to stay out of the Hollywood lifestyle. She still rides a bike, can you believe it? And in LA too! Her bike even has the notoriously nerdy bell which she uses when people on the streets are in her way! Well, she never used to have it but she got tired of having to shoo people out of her way while riding her bike which nobody seemed to listen to her so she decided to get a bike bell instead! Adorable, ain't she?!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen's monologue today was about who's story was scarier - hers or her head writer's (Karen Anderson)! Apparently Ellen had a scary story to share with her writers when she went to work this morning but then Karen also had a scary story! Karen's was about finding a rat in her house while Ellen's was about a snake she found right outside her front yard! Well, we all know who's story was scarier, right?! Rat o-r-r-r-r-r...Snake...hmm...that's a tough one, ain't it?! Anyway, Ellen went on to talk about all these animals that she's seen wandering around her house and she swore that she wasn't pulling our legs. There was one day that she talked about finding a bobcat outside her house as well. Apparently her neighbors saw that episode and wrote to her telling her that they saw it too!! They even took pictures of it lying cozily outside their house! So of 'coz Ellen showed us the pictures! Very cute bobcat indeed!!
• Following up with the phone call that Ellen made to Warner Bros.' casting department, she called again to speak with Nathan who was the person to talk to in getting Houston a stunt part. Nathan was there and had fun talking with Ellen! And of 'coz, by the end of the conversation, Ellen got Houston a part, well, at least a chance to get the part! It's for a movie that they're shooting right now called, "Dukes of Hazzard" starring Johnny Knoxville, Sean William Scott & Jessica Simpson! Hmm, looks like Houston on his way UP, eh!!! The shooting is in Baton Rouge so Houston will have to get there sometime next week or something! Good luck, Houston! Wow, this is THE birthday present that he will never, ever forget, man!! There's only ONE word to describe Ellen now - POWER!! YEAH!!!
• You know all that "RSVP" effort that Ellen's promoting on her show? Well, one of the viewers invited Ellen to be her birth coach as she's having a baby sometime in November. So, now Ellen has a pager she carries with her every day on the show just in case she gets a call to get to the labor room! The baby's going to be boy but Ellen jokingly said that the viewer would name him after her if she decides to be her birth coach! That's hilarious!

Ellen welcomed back Courtney Thorne Smith. Courtney seemed to be enjoying her 2nd visit. They started talking about Courtney being always cold while on the set, be it on Ellen's show or her own set of "According to Jim". So she always has to wear turtle necks and stuff like that to keep warm! Ellen on the other hand explained that she's always warm so she loves the cold temperatures in the studio. Courtney looked at Ellen and remarked, " Yeah, of 'coz, look at the layers of clothing you have on!" We all know that Ellen loves wearing at least 3 layers of clothing AND..let's not forget about the vest she has on virtually all the time, eh? Anyway, they went on to talk about Courtney's apparent "odd" schooling experience. Apparently there was an "alternative" school which she went to! It's like the kids didn't have to learn anything they didn't want to. Instead, they learnt handiwork that required them to use tools or something!! WOW!! So, of 'coz Ellen had to make fun of her which cracked everyone up including Courtney who couldn't help saying, "I'll need a lot of therapy after this!" Then Ellen revealed another childhood nightmare of Courtney's - apparently she never got over the fact that she never made it to her school's cheerleading team! So, for that reason, Courtney always had reservations about dancing which Ellen teased her about it. She actually thought that Ellen would make her dance on the show but Ellen was like, "I'd never ask you to do anything you don't want to" but on that remark, she pointed to Tony and yelled, "Hit it, Tony!" and Tony played some hot, dance music!! But of 'coz Ellen was only teasing. The music stopped right away. But NOT the audience, though. The crowd was all chanting, "Courtney! Courtney! Courtney!," egging her on to get up and dance. But the shy actress proved stronger than the crowd. She didn't budge! So, that was that. Then Ellen surprised her with a bag of cheerleading necessities - a sweater donning Courtney's initials (CTS), the mini skirt, the silver shiny pair of shorts & even the pom-pom!! That cracked up Courtney so much she was literally cackling with laughter!!! Good ol' Ellen! Another happy guest she made!! You can catch Courtney in action on ABC's hit sitcom, "According to Jim" on Tuesdays nights.

Jimmy Kimmel came out - well, it was his dancing stuntman, believe it or not!!! Well, apparently Jimmy had always wanted to be on Ellen's show but the only thing that scared him away was the dancing part! He was so scared that he'd have to dance on the show he had reservations! But finally here he was, with a very good idea - getting a stuntman to do all of the dancing moves! They talked about the upcoming Halloween and Ellen asked if he was going to dress up and take his kids to trick-or-treating. Then Ellen told him to watch her Halloween Show this Friday as it'd be a surprise to everyone about who she's gonna dress up as this time! Who can ever forget her "Dr. Phil" moment on last year's Halloween Show, eh? We simply must check out the show this Friday to see who she's gonna be this time! Jimmy hosts his own late night talk show which is in its 3rd season now. He's also going to host the upcoming American Music Awards show.

And..one more thing...remember Ellen's plea for Fruit-A-Freeze yesterday? Well, of 'coz she got tons of e-mails wanting to help her out. There was a viewer who actually took the liberty to contact the Fruit-A-Freeze company to have them send Ellen a whole bunch of coconut flavored ones! Ellen was so grateful that at the beginning of the show, she called up the viewer to thank her! By the end of the show, Fruit-A-Freeze really did it! They sent Ellen a "truckload" of Fruit-A-Freeze which she shared with the audience!! COOL!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• In today's monologue, Ellen was raving about this frozen fruity bars called "Fruit-a-Freeze" or something like that. It's all natural, no meat, lactose free, etc.. Her absolute favorite flavor is coconut filled with chocolate & fruity stuff. But the bad thing is, she can't seem to find it anywhere anymore! So she made a plea to anyone who knows where to get these frozen bars especially her favorite flavor! Yup, she's THAT desperate now. So, if anyone of you out there can help Ellen out, you can just write to her show!
• You may have guessed this already...yes, it's true...Ellen is BACK on the good ol' caffeine again!! Yes, she's drinking coffee again after trying to quit! Well, apparently she did heed a viewer's advice about living life to the fullest. Hey, you may not know if you'd be hit by a bus tomorrow, so just drink your damn coffee!! I'll say! Bravo, Ellen! You're one of us, coffee junkies again!!
• Ellen gave Houston a birthday surprise!! Yup, it was Houston's birthday today so Ellen wanted to make his dreams come true. And of 'coz, if you've been watching the show, we all know that Houston's dream is to become a stuntman. So, with that, Ellen said she would get Houston in a movie where he could show off his stunt talents! And guess what, she started it right there - she actually called Warner Bros.'!! Michelle in the Casting Department was on the other line & had quite a shock when Ellen told her she was 'Ellen DeGeneres'! She couldn't believe that she was talking to Ellen as she was a big fan! Anyway, she tried to put Ellen through the person who'd be able to get Houston in a movie. Alas, the person was out of the office for a few minutes but Ellen was to call him. Isn't that cool of Ellen to do that?!! Ellen was saying, "I'm not gonna stop until I get Houston in a movie!" The grateful Houston just gave Ellen a big bear hug and the show went on a commercial break!!

Jason Alexander came on and gave Ellen a hug. He immediately raved about Ellen's show and that he was glad Ellen decided to do the talk show 'coz it's the best thing on TV right now! Wow, what a compliment! Good ol' Jason! Of 'coz they started talking about "Seinfeld" and how everyone on the show attracted different groups of fans. For e.g., Seinfeld would have the girls, Michael Richards would have all the crazy people, Julia had a mixed bag of fans but then Jason would have the mothers of the girls who were Seinfeld's fans! That's funny! Hey, did you know that Jason and Ellen used to be neighbors? Then Ellen gave Jason a surprise by showing everyone a clip of him singing & dancing on a children's show when he was only 15!! And he had A LOT of hair, then!! Jason recently celebrated his 45th birthday and guess what kind of party he threw? A roller-skating karaoke party!! Can you beat that?! So, without further ado, Ellen had Jason do the most hilarious thing, you'll never guess...donning a tou-tou, Jason had a pair of skates on and he started performing a ballet-like skating dance, with all the disco lights on!!! It was soooooo funny!!! Jason was fantastic in it & a great sport indeed! It brought the house down! You can check out Jason's new sitcom on CBS, "Listen Up" airing on Mondays at 8:30p.

Serena Williams came on donning a shirt from her own fashion line with the words, "The ball was in"! Remember her ill-fated US Open performance when the umpire gave quite a few bad calls against her? Well, that's where she got the idea to put those words on her shirt! Serena talked about that experience but she appreciated all the apologies from the umpire association and what not after she lost the game because the umpire truly made some huge mistakes. But Serena was telling Ellen that she saw the umpire at the recent China Open, well, not working on her court, thank goodness! So Ellen was like, "She's still working?!" Serena then gave Ellen a shirt as well. Then, before tennis superstar left, Ellen challenged her to a game of badminton since Ellen doesn't play tennis. So they did it. It was a funny sight indeed!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen appeared with four other people standing in a line, all holding enormous ice cream cones, and Ellen in the middle with a little ice cream cone! Today she talked about getting the letter from Tammy and Tony, her husband, saying 'Hi' from her kids and cats - all with names beginning with 't'! Ellen talked about people changing their names, saying that she was almost named Nancy, and if she did, we'd be tuning into the "Nancy DeGeneres Show!" And she went on about people changing the spelling of their names, calling them "designer names." She also thought that there should be a contest to see who can name their kid the weirdest name!
• The bidding is closed on the Ellen Cabbage Patch Doll. We'll find out tomorrow who bought it and how much they paid for it.
• Ellen was still going through coffee withdrawals. People have been writing in giving her advice: 'Maybe you can put a coffee single in your bra for the aroma?'; 'Try half a Darvacet and a glass of coke' & and one who advised, 'Just drink the damn coffee, life is too short!' Ellen admitted she did drink a cup yesterday because she was suffering too much, even having sharp pains in her legs!

John Travolta danced out to Ellen & talked about going to Africa this summer - South Africa, on a safari, in an open jeep with armed guards! It was recently his 13th wedding anniversary, so Ellen got him a gift in theme, since lace is the theme you do for someone's 13th wedding anniversary, I guess! She got him lace doilies, pillows and blankets, which prompted both of them to cover up with the blankets in their seats, put their heads on the pillows, and continue the rest of the interview!

His new movie, "Ladder 49," is in theaters now. John said that all the actors really left their egos at thedoorstep with this movie. They really wanted to pay hommage to all the great men and woman who fight fires everyday. He even went out on real calls for the movie, & put out a carfire!

Mase performed "Breathe, Stretch, Shake" from his new album, "Welcome Back." Ellen introduced him like this: "5 years ago he announced his retirement from hip-hop, boy, are we glad that didn't last!"

Oh, and one more thing! John joined Ellen again to see who could get dressed in fire gear the fastest! Instead they just bopped along to the music and pretended to strip! What a funny sight!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen appeared playing Star Wars Laser Swords with someone dressed as Darth Vader, wonder who it was!?
• The other day Ellen cut herself opening a package, a package of razors, and she didn't even cut herself on the razors. It was the plastic packaging that cut her! She talked about being frustrated with enormous packages, and improving things that didn't need improving, like how shaving razors now have 4 razors on them.
• Her dancing was, of course, amazing again today. She urged us again to donate to the Hurricane Relief in the East. She's now auctioning off the Ellen Cabbage Patch Doll for the relief funds!!

Lauren Graham, from the "Gilmore Girls", now in their 5th season, came on & said she'd start the bidding at $7,500 for the Cabbage Patch Doll! Fabulous!! They talked about Lauren playing "Celebrity Poker Showdown," her buying a new house, and having problems with rats there, and flooding. She also has a new dog which she got from a German Shepard Rescue of LA. She also just finished a movie with Vin Diesel.

Peter Boyle, who saw Ellen at the Emmys, talked about meeting Barbra Streisand there, and he thought she was in his seat! He also didn't win, but insisted he was just happy to be nominated, and being there with his wife and one of his 2 daughters. He's in the 9th and last season of "Everybody Loves Raymond." He talked about his auditioning for the show the first time. He got a little grouchy trying to find the place, so he was mad doing his audition, thought he bombed, but we all know that he got the part! Ellen asked what he did for the summer. He went to Venice, Italy and raved about it. Watch out for "Everybody Loves Raymond" on Mondays at 9 on CBS.

Oh, and one more thing! Ellen fought Darth again and forced him to reveal himself, and we find that it was none other than....Betty DeGeneres.. under the costume!! Hilarious!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• "This monologue goes out to all the moms, the stay-at-home moms and dads, that watch the show." She mentioned how the actresses at the Emmys came up to her and thanked her because they're new moms and love watching her show at home while taking care of their children. Ellen said "No, thank you," because of how demanding the job of bringing up children is, holding & constantly bouncing! "This is why Aunty Ellen has kittens!"

Naomi Watts showed up with a throw blanket wrapped around her. Apparently she was cold. Ellen agreed, grabbing Naomi's arms with her hands to show how cold they were! Naomi screamed that Ellen's hands were freezing. Ellen admitted that it's either freezing or hot in her studio. They discussed Naomi's new project, "King Kong," that she's filming in beautiful New Zealand. Naomi also appears along side Laura Dern in "We Don't Live Here Anymore." ""I Heart Huckabees" is chuck full of celebrities," said Ellen, and there's a lot going on with some philosophical themes. Ellen also reminded Naomi about the last time she was on the show where she made Ellen 'Macaroni-N-Cheese' made with white truffle oil, that Ellen couldn't stop thinking about since then! They also talked about how well Naomi is at doing the American accent, and Ellen tried a hand at an accent, with not much success! She admitted to being horrendous at them. Mostly, she sounded like Barbra Walters!

From his NYC resturant, award winning Executive Chef, Eric Rippert, whipped up some French cuisine - Halibut with wild mushroom brandy sauce in less then 5 min.! Ellen joked about her confusion with cooking, being sloppy but helpful. She sauteed well, though! Tossing the food in the sautee pan in the air, then they flambet, using alcohol to light the top of the pan on fire, and Ellen whipped out her already prepared marshmallows on a stick to cook over the flame!! Chef Eric then told Ellen that her last name, DeGeneres, is noble in French, because De, is noble. Then he asked if she'd sprinkle some chives over the prepared meal, and Ellen responded with, "Sure, just for the Halibut!"

Angela Bassett, starring in "Mr. 3000" with Bernie Mac came on. Some may remember her from her role as Tina Turner in "What's Love Got To Do With It". Angela talked about working on that movie, and how nice Tina Turner was to her, calling everyday from Germany, giving her clothes to wear, shoes. Angela came bearing gifts for Ellen - a bracelet, to which Ellen returned the gift-giving with ... a Ricola throat drop! (It's what she came up with after looking for something, anything to give in return!) Ellen could barely get the bracelets on, wearing them on her knuckles for a while! Angela was busting a gut with laughter!

Oh, and one more thing! Naomi Watts joined Ellen while Ellen thanked all of her guests, but doing it in an attempted New Zealand accent, er, umm.. we'll call it a unique, one-of-a-kind Ellen accent! Cute!!

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen talked about cell phones, where in a meeting she forgot to turn hers off. Then someone called, and there was no one there when she answered. After quite some time, she realized it must've been someone whose phone dialed accidentally, and she was sushing people, to see if she could hear anything, and screaming "HELLO" to try to get them to hear her! " Speed dial, headsets," she thought, "someday we'll all have phones surgically implanted."
• Ellen will be auctioning off more of her stuff for the hurricane relief in the East - American Red Cross, and Noah's Wish, which finds good homes for animals lost or left behind, CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE FOR MORE INFO!!
• Remember Doug? He sells office furniture, has a business, and is always getting calls from people looking for Ellen tickets. Thousands of calls! Well he was a guest with his daughter today, said he couldn't count the times he'd said " Try 866-Ellen-Tix!" Ellen, the gift-giver, gave a huge gift basket and an answering machine with her voice on it, and then displayed and plugged it in his office furniture!

David Spade, from ABC's sitcom, "8 Simple Rules..." just turned 40 on July 22nd! He's known Ellen for 13 years now and can't belive that THEY ALWAYS HAVE THE SAME HAIRDOO!! He had a Karaoke band at his birthday party and a Chocolate Fountain, can you beat that?! He's also close with his mom, who is concerned about the lifestyle of some celebrities saying, "That J-LO, she gets in relationships too fast!" Ellen said Betty's the same way, in being up-to-date with celebrities, saying, "Just to hear J-LO out of my mothers mouth is..!!"

David kindly offered to buy all of the office furniture that Ellen plugged, how sweet. He also told a great story about how much of a fan he is of Olivia Newton John. He was buying a new house, went to look at one, and guess who was the previous owner that was still moving out?! Olivia! Then Ellen suprised him with Olivia on the phone from Oaklahoma City before a concert! In the conversation Olivia told us that she and her daughter were freaking out because David Spade was buying their house!! Ironic, eh?

Ricky Fante performed his hit single, "It Ain't Easy", from his CD, "Rewind."

Then of coarse, Laura Dern (remember her from the "Puppy Episode" on "Ellen"??) has a new film "We Don't Live Here Anymore," and is pregnant with her 2nd baby with daddy, Ben Harper. They also have a 3-year-old son. They talked about him and uh...stuff. When Laura was young, she remembered her father doing a film with Alfred Hitchcock, and at the same time, her mother doing a film with Martin Scorsese, and that kinda convinced her to want to be an actress since 7, even though her mother was very reluctant because she knew "How the business is."

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen rode on an donkey (a donkey suit that was being worn by Houston and another assistant). Today's monologue was dedicated to Peter, the pond guy. He cleans Ellen's coy pond. But the gophers have been digging holes and shoveling the dirt into the pond. "Cute, adorable, furry bull-dozers is what they are," Ellen said. She went on to tell the story - one day when the pond guy was removing the coy to clean the pond, he transferred them into buckets, but the fish went into shock, from the stress! So Peter had to resuscitate the coy, giving it mouth-to-mouth, and rubbing it for over an hour, and the fish actually came back, and swam away into the pond. "Recently I went to a Barnes & Noble and coincidentally a camera crew followed me, and it's a good thing they did, cause you're gonna love it!" So Ellen headed to the book store to get advise and suggestions from "smart people" for the show. She did a little book-signing, and of course cracked everyone up there!

When Gwyneth Paltrow appeared, Ellen reminded us that the last time Gwyneth was on the show, she neglected to tell Ellen that she was getting married THE NEXT DAY!! She insisted they didn't tell anyone, and had only planned it for a month. Anyway, Ellen & Gwyneth proceeded to talk about the #1 movie in the country, "Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow", in which Gwyneth stars with Jude Law & Angelina Jolie. They discussed how the whole movie was done with the blue screen. Then they discussed Gwyneth's new baby, Apple, who is now 4-months-old. Remember when Ellen gave Gwyneth that great pram carriage for her and the baby?? Well Ellen brought that up and Gwyneth said they love it and that it's like a Rolls Royce of carriages! Then Ellen just totally busted her for telling such a HUGE lie, because in all of the paparazzi pictures, none had the pram in it!! Gwyneth confessed that her assistant didn't put it together well and it needed some work, but Ellen just kept calling her a liar, and making Gwyneth laugh so hard she could barely breathe!! Gwyneth also talked about how her daughter, Apple, loves music, how she hates the car seat. So Gwyneth discovered a great trick that she wanted to share with all moms. "If your kid doesn't like the car seat, play reggae music!!" She told everyone that Apple loves Bob Marley!!

Mark McGrath, the new co-host for "Extra," the 3-time "Rock-n-Roll Jeopardy" champion, and a tattoo lover, told us about his first time on a first class flight, touring with his band, and who did he meet? Ellen! He said she was so nice & came right up to him and his band and was like, "Hey! you're Sugar Ray, I love you guys! I just bought your album!" He said she was so sweet and he was telling all of his band members that that was the way people were in first class!! Turned out though, said Mark, that Ellen was the only person to ever be that sweet to him!! Just goes to show...!

Brian Wilson, from the legendary band, "The Beach Boys," now has his own album called "Smile." He performed the great "Good Vibrations". Oh, and one more thing! Brian played another hit, and the credits roll..

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen appeared driving a little automobile, picking up a hobo standing next to a Route 66 sign. In her monologue she talked about actually getting a great night's sleep the previous night, she revealed that she's a light sleeper and has taught herself tricks to get to sleep. Like, she has a lavender eye pillow, a white noise machine. She also said she'd write poems if she got woken up. Here's one she did the other night:
  "Oh, car alarm, oh, car alarm, why must you beep? Can't you see, I'm trying to sleep. So, I had my blankets all perfect, that's a big thing for me to have. I have a sheet, I have a comforter, then I have a light blanket on top of it, perfect weight right? Then I got those little kittens, the damn things, they threw the whole system off. Both kittens, individually, on seperate days, peed on mycomforter. That'll wake me up. Two kittens peed on my comforter, and that's not comforting I'll tell you that right now. And I was wondering why, I thought, what? Is my comforter made out of kitty litter? Or something like that. It's not because I got rid ofthat years ago, still have the kitty litter bean bag chair. I have money now, so I have a down comforter...turns out, kittens, or cats, there's something about down that they pee on it!"
• Ellen on the Emmys: "I was sitting in front of Barbra Streisand, she still has no idea who I am. She and her husband were very nice, but she never once said my name." (Last time they met, Ms. Streisand called her Helen!) Ellen showed a clip from the Emmys last night of the two lucky people that were suprised and put on stage as part of a "reality stunt". Amy and Bruce talked to Ellen about there experience.

Jon Stewert won his 2 Emmys last night talked about his 11-week old baby boy, and just cracked Ellen up with his witty jokes and his drawn stick figure "photos of his baby". He and the other writers from the "Daily Show," have written a book in school text book form "America: Citizens Guide to Demoracy" from which Jon said, "What we've done instead of a book with some inacuracies and untruths is an entire book of inacuracies, and if kids look at this, there is no question... they will fail out of school."
E: Great well, I'm glad you could help! J: Well, I love the children. (Ellen's brother, Vance, of course we know worked on the "Daily Show.") Jon: Just because we stopped paying him he said, I'm not gonna do it any more! E: I don't know what his problem was. J: I was shocked, I said, ya know, you don't get that attitude from Ellen, because she's a pro, and he said, but I need to eat. E: Yeah, he's always been like that. J: But I was suprised to see him really throw around that kind of attitude, and I've always said to him...pick through my trash... you can have anything. E: And yet, NO! J: No, because he's.. a big stars brother E: Yeah, horrible! J: No, he's a good man, but they both have the DeGeneres eyes, it's crazy, that's how I know (Vance is Ellen's brother)

The hunky Oliver Hudson from the new show "The Mountain" talked about his childhood & how he wanted to be in the band that only wanted to perform "We Built This City" because they just loved the song soooo much. And of course his mom being Goldie Hawn.

Elaine Stritch talked about her new show, "At Liberty." Ellen said, "I've never been happier losing to someone in my entire life." This was what Elaine thought was the greatest quote you'll ever hear: "Well, it's like the prostitute once said, it's not the work, it's the stairs." She proceeded to describe this joke to the audience so they really understand what it meant. "It's not doing the job, it's getting up the stairs to get it done. Ya know, It's getting here that's hard! " They talk about her one woman show being like a documentary about when she used to do her show on Broadway and her life on the outside (drinking, smokin', lovas). She'll be performing in Boston next, would have been in Florida, but as Elaine said, "The building blew away" (referring to the recent hurricanes in Florida!).

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen appeared playing horseshoes with 3 others, which she didn't do very well. None of the shoes were touching the bar in the sand! She talked about noticing all of her imperfections on TV, seeing herself having a bad hair day!
• The luxury box was under construction & was replaced with a large black box with constuction tape around it, so no Riff-Raffle for a while.
• Ellen called Ivesette from California, let it ring forever, then got a machine telling her the woman's answering machine was off!!! Ellen was going to give her a Tivo because Ivesette wrote in saying she was never home to see the show, but Ellen couldn't get a hold of her!

Charlie Sheen, who had appeared in over 50 movies, talked about his new daughter (and showed the 5'x6' picture of her he has on his wall at home!), about helping his 3 little dogs get over their jealousy of the new baby, and related with Ellen over a spider phobia. Believe it or not, he checks each of his shoes for spiders before he wears them! He's also superstitious about things like using the last match in a match book. Watch for the season premiere of Charlie's "Two & A Half Men" tonight on CBS.

Country cook Hazel Smith cooked up some cheddar burgers with Ellen. Hazel blurted loudly, "Does everybody know she's gonna be God?!" reffering to Ellen playing God in the upcoming remake of George Burns' character in "OH! God". She also remarked, "I'm mad at those Oscar people for not giving you the oscar for 'Nemo'." (We feel the same way, too, Hazel, and those Emmy people for letting Elain Stitch win over Ellen at the Emmys last night!)

Jennifer Coolidge came on & talked about working with Matt LeBlanc in the new series, "Joey". She talked about the most outlandish excuses she used when she wanted to get out of working at her first job as a waitress in NYC. She also talked about losing weight, in which a friend told her that women over 30 can only lose weight by Lipo-ing out, but she decided she'd try working out first, and it worked! Watch for "Joey" Thursdays and 8p on NBC.

Oh, one more thing, Ellen gave away the Tivo she was going to give to Ivesette, to a lucky audience member that was excited to meet Ellen and Charlie.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen appeared at a row of lockers with the others around leaning on the lockers. She opened hers and put the books she was carrying in it. She acknowledged a few pictures she had hung on the inside, and proceeded toward the audience.
• In her monologue, she talked about the animals in her yard and a viewer who wrote in asking if she lived on a ranch, because that was the way it sounded when she talked about the animals. Ellen described that she lives in a very normal LA neighborhood, in a normal house and that's why she's always talking about the animals because she's so suprised to be seeing coyotes and bobcats in her yard! She insisted that her life is very normal. "I get up in the morning, I go out and get my paper, and I wave to Barbra Streisand, then I high-five George Hamilton, and um, then I walk back inside and I have my tea that, uh, Yeorgan has make, and uh, he's my cook. Then I'll have some eggs, which Larry, my food-taster who will taste first. By then my bath is drawn, and I'll get in and take a bath, and get out and mother dresses me, and uh, then I come to work."
• Ellen showed us a clip from before the show, when she'd sometimes take questions, and one woman asked Ellen's favorite song, to which Ellen said she didn't really have only one, and Ellen asked the woman what hers was. The woman replied with Salt and Peppas, "Push it" and Ellen asked her to sing it. When she did, she didn't know any of the lyrics and just hummed and bopped and blahed her way through it! "This is this woman's favorite song, and she didn't know any of the lyrics!" They also showed mostly men dancing around hilariously. (I love how they catch those people off guard!!)

Ellen came off resistant to Kirsten Dunst, saying Kirsten was lucky she was invited back to the show. Remember Ellen in the spidey suit during the VMAs?? Well, it turned out that was Kirsten's idea because Toby Macguire was sick and they bugged Ellen forever to appear with Kirsten. Ellen was very reluctant at first, but finally decided to do it. When she arrived, she saw the suit she was supposed to wear and said, "It looked like something for an 8-year-old, it was tiny... I can't believe I wore spandex!!"

Did you know that Kirsten and Jake Gyllenhaal are no longer dating, but they're still friends? We also get to see an old KIX commercial that Kirsten was in when she was 3!! So cute! Watch out for her new movie, "Wimbledon" in which she'll play Billie Jean King.

8-time Grammy winner, Anita Baker, performed a song from her "My Everthing" album, the first she's put out in 10 years!!

Scott Wolf (remember him from "Party of Five"?) talked about his new role on "Everwood", his new wife and her hometown in Arkansas where they got married. He also talked about his new puppy which is very tiny and of the Maltese breed.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen appeared with a huge light bulb hovering above her head, and it lit up when she seemed to have a great idea!
• In her monologue, she discussed her problem with spiders, which had gotten worse at her home, and we know how humane Ellen is! She's looking for a way to trap them instead of killing them! "The only thing I found that they really hate, is the tamborine... especially when ya do the hip to the hand move."

Farrah Fawcett came on and Ellen talked about her being on the series "Charlies Angels" and the great poster of hers that was on every man's wall in the 70's. She's in a new movie called, "The Cookout" with Queen Latifah. Farrah said she was just about the only white person on the set!! Farrah seemed to be having a problem with her hair falling out. Ellen noticed it and snatched it up right away, saying that she's going to try to sell it! Farrah is also doing a reality show for TV Land coming out near January called, "Chasing Farrah".

Three amazing kids came on to show Ellen their new amazing inventions:
-10-year-old Emily showed off her idea to mmake it funner and easier to plant flower bulbs
-11-year-old Tyler had a great idea to fix the problem young children and possibly the elderly have with lifting and spilling those heavy gallons of milk, making spilling almost impossible
-and 10 1/2-year old Allison told us her iddea of making heavy wheel barrel dumping easier by just pulling out a pin and having the load dump out of the bottom instead of lifting it to dump what's in it!!

Andy Richter talked about his sweaty trip to New Orleans with his wife and 3-year-old son to see his mother-in-law. He also talked about his appearance on "Celebrity Poker Showdown" where he said he was the first one out of money. And Ellen told us that she's gonna do it, which is great news and we'll be looking forward to her appearance on the show! They talked about strategy and game faces while playing poker.

Daily Monologue Moments & Quotes:
• Ellen appeared rolling on one of those big exercise balls, then stood in front of the audience on a treadmill and walked on it during her whole monologue! She did it, she said, in honor of all those who wrote in saying they watched Ellen while they worked out.

Paris Hilton and Ellen talked about Paris' new book, and when she and Ellen met while they were out & about in town. "Do you remember when I dipped your pigtail into your drink?" Ellen only did it because Paris had told her that it wasn't her real hair, but extentions! They also talked about Paris' dressing up her little dog, Tinkerbell, when she takes her out. Ellen thought the dog must hate it, but Paris insisted that the dog loves to dress up. Paris has a new album coming out with the single, "Screwed", which she said she wrote about being screwed over all the time. Also the second series of her and Nicole Richie's show "The Simple Life". Ellen then asked Paris for some advice on walking the red carpet this Sunday for the Emmys, which Ellen is nominated for her HBO special "Here and Now". Paris' advice: Smile sweet, look nice, and NEVER close your eyes!!