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The Adventures of Door!

(Staring Door and Lara Croft!)
By: Akuma and Umei

(AN{U}: Well, Akuma is obsessed with Tomb Raider, and Lara Croft is her idol, so you should prepare youself for her making-of-Lara-greatness.. Now-a-dayz she's also really getting into Gundam Wing and other anime. ANYWAY!! Enjoy the fic!!)

(AN{A}: Umei and I must think of better things to do with our time then this. We're currently working on the sequal to this one! Sorry if you like Treize, we despise him. Also, there is probably NO point to this fic. But anyway, read now, human!)

Lara Croft: "Get back here you little weasle!" (Chases Door who slapped her butt.)
Door: "It was only a slap! I wanted some wine, and you looked like a bartender! (Runs away from the mad woman, tripping most of the way.)
Lara: "Oh yeah? Would a bartender do this?!" (Pulls out her pistol and starts to fire at him.)
{Lara tackles Door to the ground and beats him over the head with....a CD.}
{Once Door is uncontious, Lara drags him an alleyway and radios a helicopter.}
{The helicopter apears overhead and Lara pulls out an HK rifle from hammer-space in her pack.}
Lara: "Die, swine!" (Shoots the chopper down but it survives.)
Door: (Wakes up) "Did somebody say WINE?!!
Lara: (Whapps him over the head with the CD again, and drags him into the chopper.)


{Somewhere Over the Atlantic}

Lara: (Fastens an anvil to Door's feet and places him near the doorway of the chopper.) "So long Door, luv!" {She kicks him into the ocean.}
Door: (Falls from the chopper.) "Holy Chunky Monkeys!" (Hits the water and doesn't understand what's happening.)
{Door amazingly stops sinking to the bottom and begins to slowly rise to the surface using his inflated head and twiggy eyebrows.}
{Lara sighs when she sees Door break the surface. She sadly shakes her head and signals the pilot to go.}

Door: "What about my wine?!" {Pause}
Door: "I want a chunky monkey!" {Cricket chirps}
Door: (Hits his head against the water.) "I want my wine and chunky monkey!"
{Door smashes his head again, gets water in his mouth and begins to scream like a woman.}
Door: "Lunch Lady Veronica in the heavens, help me!!"
{Door scares himself and begins to scream when...."Veronica" doesn't help him. Or, rather come to his aid.}
Door: "Lunch Lady Veronica in the heavens! I'm drowning! I don't like inclosed spaces! And- ...oohhh...pretty fishy!"

{Like the moron that he is, Door tries to pet the dead fish infront of him.}
{Door pets the fish and it disinigrates at his touch. All because....he's Door.}
Door: "I am the almighty Door! I'll never parish!"
{Door finds a peice of floating wood and stands on it like George Washinton.}
Door: "Mush dog! Mush! Errr... I mean, FLOAT!" (He floats to the shore and begins running up a hill) "I must find my eternal friend, Milliardo!"
{He races to the Peacecraft Mansion (triping most of the way) and bangs on the door.} Door: "Miliardo! My eternal friend! Come, we must have a duel!"
{The door opens to reveal a very handsome Miliardo Peacecraft.}
Miliardo: "Go away you freaky moron! Your not worth my time! LEAVE!"
Door: "We must duel!"
Milliardo:"Go...away!"
Door: "Not 'till you duel with me!"
Miliardo: "Fine!"
{Miliardo pulls out his shotgun, shoots him in the heart and slams the door in Door's face.}
(AN{U}: My that sounded funny, ne?)

Door: (Uneffected) "Yay! Now I must find my other darling friend, Lady Une!"
{Like the A-hole that he is, Door ran all the way to Lady Une's home.}

Door: "Lady, we must talk!"
Lady Une: (Opens a window and screams down to him) "No, you freak! You gave me my split personality disorder!"
Door: "Oh. Okay. Bye then! C-ya soon!"
Lasy Une: *Mumbling* "Good Lord, I hope not..."

{Door pranced away and then later apeard in England.}

{Door leaps like a baka to a huge brick house and pounds on the huge wooden door.}
Lara: (Opens the door and her eyes widen with fear.) "You A-hole!"
Door: "Hey, babe! Let's duel!"
Lara: {Camera zooms into Lara's eyes and they begin to burn with an evil flame.} "Let's go, you pansy!"
Door: "Great!"
{Door jumped up and clicked his heals}

{AN(A): Although it must be difficult with those stuuupid boots of his! I mean, they go all the way passed his knees!}

Lara: "What will the weapons be?"
Door: "Mobile suits!"
Lara: "Yer on!"
{They run to the hanger that held the mobile suits and the Gundams, and each leaped into one.} Door: "Come Tallgese, we must win this battle!"

{Lara jumps into the DeathScythe Hell and starts up the operating system}

{AN(U): When we were writing this Akuma hadn't even seen an episode of Gundam Wing! Not even a picture of Door, so think about how we struggled with this.. Eh, anyway... If you notice there's still not much of a plot. Yes, us 2 wrote this in our Language Arts class when we were supposed to be working ont hese worksheets.. ^-^}

Lara: "You'll finally die, Door!"
Door: "I wont go easy on you 'cause your a woman."
Lara: (Now like all pissed off and stuff) "DIE!!!"
{The Deathscythe Hell swings it's scythe and proceeds to cut off the Tallgese's head.}
Lara: "Just a woman, huh?"

{AN(U): Akuma, just how come Lara knows how to pilot a Gundam? I thought you had to go through special trainning and stuff..
(A): Well Umei, Lara can do everything! Duh! It's all cuz she's the best!!
(U): *Sadly shakes her head*\}

Door: "You dang weirdo."  *Sigh*  "You win..."
Lara: "Heh...heh...heh..." (Slow English laugh)

{AN:(U) KAH-HAHAHAH!!
(A): *Scootches away from Umei*\}

Door: "Now I will end us both!"
Lara: "Wha-?"
{Like the jerk that he is, Door presses the detination button in the Tallgese, and 5 seconds later-} 5...
4...
3...
2...
*KABOOM!!!*

{It exploded, along with DeathScythe Hell}

{AN:(U) No! Akuma, why must the DHell go down too?? It's not fair! Plus the rabid fans will have our necks!!
(A): Fine! DHell survives, but Lara...}

{A month later, Door died of a heart attack (or did he?) and Lara was let out of the hospital from *ahem* some serious explosion wounds...}

Moral: Don't be a hole of A's like Door, cuz in the end, Lara will always eventually kill them all.

-THE END?!

(U): Akuma, that was the stupidest ending so far...
(A): Aww c'mon, Umei. Besides, we gotta work on the sequal!
(U): Oh yeah! Door recooperates!
(A): Poor Lara...
(U): Well, at least DeathScythe Hell survived!
(A): WHAT ABOUT LARA?!?!
(U): @.o;; eep...

{Cut cue to the back of the set - we see the DHell in some tendency care with bandages and everything.\}

(U): Yeah, so what's up with the moral, though? Lara didn't kill Door!
(A): SHUT UP! Don't give away the sequal!!
(U): I think we already did...
(A): Yeah, guess your right.
(U): We'll stop our bable now, peeps!!
(A)and(U): Ja'ne!
{Both baka writers wave like morons as the picture fades out}


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