We stroll back into the room and crawl back under the covers.

"So...you think of anything yet?" JC asks as he reaches over and turns the light back off.

"Hmmm..." I lean over him and bring my lips down on his. Pulling back just the tiniest bit, "Yeah, I think so." I kiss his lips again, then start trailing kisses down his jawline.

"I think I can live with this." JC moans.

"Mmmm." I kiss down his neck, over his collarbone, reach down and run my hand up his stomach and chest. "Has anyone told you how amazing your body is?"

He smiles sheepishly, "Not in 'that' tone of voice before."

I bring my face back up to his, "It's amazing, you're amazing. Have I told you that yet?"

"Hmmm, nope. Don't think so." He smiles.

I kiss him again and then resume my path down his lean body, stopping at each nipple to give it some attention. When I reach the trail of hair that begins just above his boxer briefs his whole body freezes, then he starts to pull away.

"What's wrong?" I ask coming back up to look him in the face.

"I...I'm sorry. I just can't. I...shit, I feel so foolish for this."

"I reach over and flip the light back on, "What? Don't feel foolish."

"I can't do that...can't let you...you know." He tries to roll away from me.

I reach out and pull his shoulder back towards me, making him lay back on his back. "What? You don't believe in sex with men?" I try the humor angle but it didn't seem to work by the look on his face.

"No!" He growls. "I don't believe in having sex without being trully 'in love' with someone. I'm pretty sure I don't know how I feel about you."

"Huh?"

"I'm not ready to do this with you, I'm sorry. If you'd like me to leave or whatever I will." He gets up and starts pulling clothes on.

"What? Wait? Where are you going?" I get up and grab him, pulling him into my body. "I don't want you to leave. I can live with your decision. Please just come back to bed."

We stand there holding onto each other for a few minutes. I take his hand and lead him back to the bed.

"Don't get me wrong. What you were doing was amazing, I'm just not ready for that yet."

"It's ok Josh, don't worry about it. Let's just lay down. I'm content with holding you and a kiss from you could melt my body."

"You really gotta stop using those corny ass lines man. That one was worse than the other one."

"But that one was true. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," He leans over and once again turns the light off.

"Have you 'ever' been with another man?"

"No. It took me almost three years before I'd sleep with my first girlfriend. It's even harder to find a guy that is willing to put up with all the crap we have to. Then, on top of that, asking him to hide behind a woman because my job won't allow me to tell the world that I'm really in love with another man. Let's just say I haven't found another man strong enough to be willing to go through all that, just to be with me. I'm not all that sure I ever will."

//We'll see about that.//

"I don't think it would be so bad if it were just Nsync, or just Section. Since I can't be 'home' with either one very much, it makes it more difficult. If I find someone outside of Section then I can't even tell them about that part of my life, making the entire relationship a big lie. And it's not like I can just leave Section."

I pull him close to my body and kiss his forehead, "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe you'll get lucky and someone will just kinda drop in your lap."

"I hope so."

I feel a slight wetness on my chest and realize that he's silently crying. I don't say anything else, just pull him in as close as humanly possible. "Why don't you try to get a little more sleep. We don't have to be up anytime soon."

"What about you? I thought you said you could sleep?" He whispers.

"I'm fine. I'm getting a bit tired now. If I lay here for awhile I'm sure I'll fall asleep."

Pretty soon his breathing had evened out and I whisper, "You never know where love could come from Josh. It could come in the wierdest times and from the least likely places. I can also come pretty damn fast, cuz I'm pretty sure I've fallen head over heels in love with you." I kiss the top of his head and close my eyes.