Chapter 5

I looked from one to the other wondering what exactly they were going to do and at the same excited to find out.

“Relax Wade, we’re not gonna do anything ok…But J and I’d like to sit here with you and hold you.” JC stated in a gentle voice.

Justin looked at him and then back at me, “Yeah, we don’t wanna push you. But I’d really like to hold you if you wouldn’t mind?” He slowly approaches the bed and lays down, head on the pillows. “Come up here with me?”

I cautiously make my way up beside him, keeping a bit of a distance between his body and mine.

JC approached on my other side but instead of lying down next to me he knelt down beside the bed and placed his head on his hands as he splayed them out along the edge of the bed next to my shoulder. “Relax sweets, we don’t wanna hurt or scare you. We just wanna help you. Maybe show you how love is supposed to work, when you’re ready.”

I close my eyes to keep the threatening tears from leaking.

A soft thumb pad brushes my cheek wiping the lone tear away that had gotten out away, “Shhh, it’ll be ok. Why don’t you tell Josh and I…tell us whatever you’re comfortable with. We know he hurt you, but…well.”

“We don’t know everything. Did you love him? Was it ever…”

“Please don’t. I’m not ready to do this. Can we please just…just…not talk.” I look over to JC, “You don’t have to stay on the floor. I trust you.” He raises an eyebrow but says nothing as he climbs on the bed and spreads out next to me. I immediately curl my body around his, placing my head on his chest.

He lays there for a second, I’m sure he was a bit surprised but recovered quickly and placed his arms around my body holding me close. “That better?” He whispers.

I nod my head and scoot even closer to his body.

After a few minutes I could feel Justin’s arm just above my head, as he brushed his hand through JC’s hair. It must be hard for him to lay there and watch his boyfriend hold another man, but I just couldn’t bring myself to move away from JC’s warm body and comforting arms. The last thing I remember before nodding off to sleep was gentle fingers running through my hair and a soft voice in my ear whispering that everything would be ok and that they’d take care of me.

~*~*~*

The next morning I awaken with my head on a different chest than I’d gone to sleep on and this one was bare. I jerked back and away only to feel the comforting brush of JC’s hand on my arm from behind.

He leaned up against my back and whispered, “Shhh, just look at him. Isn’t he one of the most beautiful things you’ve seen and when he’s asleep you can look all you want cuz he doesn’t know we’re looking.”

I could feel the smile against my neck, “Mmmm, he is nice to look at.” I state as my eyes roam over the gorgeous body displayed before me. “Very nice.”

“You can touch him if you want.” JC whispered, “He won’t mind.”

I cautiously reached out and gently trailed my hand down Justin’s chest and torso.

I jerked my hand back and away when his breath hitched. He brought his hand up, “S ok. Just tickled.”

“Sorry,” I whisper as I bring my hand back down. “Didn’t mean…”

“Shhh. You don’t have to apologize. It’s ok. I’m fine.” He smiles as I finally meet his gaze.

I feel the bed shift as JC moves to get out of bed, “I’m gonna take a shower and get some breakfast going. You two continue.” He smiles down at us and heads for the bathroom. He emerges a few minutes later amidst a cloud of steam, glistening from the warm water. He comes over to Justin and places a kiss on his lips then looks at me for a minute then leans in and kisses me on top of my head, “Morning.” He then moves about, dressing, then leaves the room.

“Well…he’s up early. Wonder what’s on his mind?” Justin mumbles. “Guess we should probably get up.” He slips out of the bed and into the bathroom.

I just lay there mildly stunned. /Ok, what the fuck am I doing? I barely know these guys and I’m sleeping with them already. Maybe Joe is right. Maybe I am a slut./ I curl up on my side and let the tears flow. I was completely unaware of Justin coming out of the bathroom, getting dressed and leaving the room.

*~*~*~*

With JC and Justin

(Author’s POV)

“Jayce?” Justin states coming down the stairs.

“Yeah baby?”

Justin stops to admire the beauty that is his boyfriend for a few minutes.

“Um…Justin?” JC asks, blushing.

Justin shakes his head and meets JC’s eyes, “Um…It’s…well…Wade was all curled up in a ball, crying again when I came out of the shower.”

JC strides from the stove to his lover. He wraps Justin in his arms for a few minutes then asks, “You think you could keep an eye on this for me?”

“Yeah, think he needs you more than the food Jayce. I just hope Joe didn’t break him for good. He’s too young to be this messed up Josh.”

“I agree baby, but all we can do is try, but I don’t think we’re gonna be able to do this on our own. I think he’s gonna need to see someone about this.”

*~*~*~*

Back in the bedroom

JC opens the door and stands there, watching me for a couple of minutes before quietly making his way over to the bed. “Wade?”

I look up at him but don’t move, “Please just leave me alone.”

“Nope, can’t do that. Told you yesterday that I’m a worrier. If I leave you alone then I’ll be going crazy with worry and then Justin would have to worry and I can’t have that.” While he was talking he moved over to the bed and crawled in next to me. He scooted himself up on the bed so that he had his back resting against the headboard, then placed a hand on my shoulder, “Come here Wade.”

I roll over and curl into his warm body.

“Tell me.” He states in a soothing tone but one that I, in the short time I’d known him, realized he meant what he said and I wasn’t gonna be able to sidetrack him.

I took a deep breath and began, “I love him. I mean…I know he’s not good for me but I do. I can’t help it. He’s an amazing person when he’s not…Well…you know.”

“Yeah…I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know if he can get better or not. I do know that what you two have right now is not healthy. For either of you.”

“I know but I can’t just turn off the feelings I have for him.” I whisper.

“I understand. Sometimes love is painful but…Well…Maybe with a little work we can get him over whatever this is. I think though that maybe you should see someone too. To help you deal with this. J and I can only do so much for you but I think maybe a psychologist could help you more than either of us can.

“Do you know anyone? I mean…I didn’t…”

“Relax…I’m sure Lance can get us a name of someone who’d be discreet.” He smiles, “So you hungry?”

My stomach decided it was time to speak up at this point and we both laughed, “Yeah, guess so.”

“Good, cuz I really need to get back down there before Justin lets everything burn.”

“I’ll be down in a few…” I roll over and climb out of the bed.

*~*~*~*

Back in the Kitchen

“He’ll be down in…” JC stops as he enters the kitchen and sees the disaster Justin has created. “Baby, what happened in here?”

Justin spins around, looking like someone had powered him down his flour. He was covered from head to toe in the white stuff.

JC burst into laughter, “What on earth are you doing babe?”

“Was just trying to make some pancakes to go with the bacon and eggs you had already started Jayce. But it seems all I really did was make an immense mess.” Justin stood with a small pout forming on his lips.

“Here baby, let me see what you’ve got so far.” JC made his way over to his flour -covered boyfriend, “Um…J? It usually helps if you get some of the flour into the bowl. He states as he peers into the empty bowl on the counter.”

“I know but when I went to open the flour it flew all over the place. What was I supposed to do? Don’t they have those easy open things? And why don’t we have any of that Bisquick stuff? If we’d have had some of that I’m sure I wouldn’t have made such a mess Jayce.”

“Baby, it’s ok. Why don’t you go wash up and I’ll get the rest of breakfast ready.”

“K. I’m really sorry Josh.”

“Don’t worry about it baby. I’ll clean it up while you and Wade finish getting ready. Oh and while you’re up there why don’t you call Lance and see if he can come up with a name of someone for Wade to see?”

“K. Be back in a few.” He gives JC a kiss then makes his way to the stairs, “Hey, how you doing this morning?”

“I’m a little better,” Wade states. He stops mid-stride as he sees Justin come out of the kitchen. “What happened to you?”

“I got in a fight with a bag of flour, it won.” He says with a grin.

“Yeah? Gotta watch that stuff, it’s vicous.” Wade snickers, entering the kitchen. “Wow, guess he wasn’t kidding about losing the fight huh?”

“Nope, by the looks of it though he must have put up a good fight.” JC meets Wade’s gaze and they both break out into laughter.

Once the laughter calms down a bit Wade speaks up, “So where do ya’ll keep the broom. Least I can do for all your kindness is help clean up some of this mess.”

“You don’t have to, really.” JC states as he finishes places plates on the counter and dishing out the food evenly. “Side’s breakfast is served. We’ll clean after we eat. That way J doesn’t get out of helping clean his own mess up.”

“Good point.”

Justin comes back in, once again freshly showered, “Hey Jayce. Thought you were…” He stops mid-sentence when JC quirks an eyebrow at him.

“Thought what babe? That we’d clean up your mess? You ought to know better than that by know.”

“Well, can’t blame a guy for trying now can you?” He smiles and takes the seat on the other side of JC. “So what’s on the agenda for today? And Lance said he’d get back to us on that other item.”

“It’s ok J. Wade and I already talked about him getting some help.”

“Yep, we agreed that I’d be better off getting some professional help too. Now, mind you you guys have been great but I’m not so sure I can…Well…I’m not sure how much help you’ll really be. Or that I’ll let you be.” He blushed but continued to meet Justin’s gaze. “Nothing personal or anything.”

“No. That’s great. The first step is admitting you need the help. Right Jayce?”

“I would think so J. But it’s good that he’s willing to go. Now, since we’re all done eating, J you get the broom. Wade, you go take a shower and I’ll clean the rest of this mess up.” He gets up off his stool and begins the arduous task of cleaning the disaster of a kitchen.