I quietly walked through the house. It didn’t appear that JC had done anything more to the house until I made my way past the first bathroom and noticed the cabinet where the sink had been was missing, so was the wall that would have surrounded the shower, if it had been there. The only thing remaining was the toilet.
When I got to the room he was in I stood at the door and listened. Something must really be hurting him because he was sitting there crying. Through the tears he was flowing from one sad song to another. When he started playing a song that sounded vaguely familiar I entered the room and leaned against the piano.
Once we were lovers,
“Why are you playing one of our songs?”
He started then looked up at me, “Huh?”
“That song you were just playing. That was one of ours, from a long time ago, ‘Like a Child’?”
He looked around the room and then his eyes settled back on me, “Yeah. I guess it was. It’s got a nice melody to it.”
“How do you know the music though? Far as I know it was never released anywhere.”
“Your video. You know the one where you’re playing drums and Kevin’s playing the piano? Kevin sings it?”
“Yeah, I recall that.”
“I prefer that version to the one put on the album.”
“You think?”
“Mmmhmm.”
He had started playing another song and I smiled as he actually started singing “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely.”
“Don’t you guys have any sad, depressing songs of your own?”
He stops playing and looks up at me, “Oh yeah…But I’m not about to sing “Gone, I couldn’t stand it when we recorded it and everytime we perform it I wanna gag.”
“Wow, really? Is that why you looked so pissed in the video?”
“Yes, that and a few other things.”
I watched him for a few minutes. It dawned on me that he had actually smiled, a real genuine smile, for the first time since he’d stumbled upon me on the beach. /Must have been the music./ I took a deep breath, pushed myself up off the piano and bit the bullet, “So…What’s on the agenda for today?”
He hadn’t even noticed I’d moved much less spoken, so I reached over and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hmmm. Oh, I’m sorry.” He attempted a half-hearted smile, “What’d you say?”
“I was just wondering what the slave-driving, doughnut providing, boss would like his humble slave to do today.” I gave an exaggerated bow. When I looked up he was actually about to break into a laugh, “I’m here to please you in any way you wish Your Majesty.”
JC broke into a full laugh at this. Between laughs he tried to choke out an explanation for the days activities, but finally gave up until the laughing had subsided a bit. Finally he stated, “We’re gonna start with the bathrooms. I got most of the main one down here done but we gotta get the other two completed, then I’d like to start on the kitchen. Maybe get most of the cabinets out of there before the floor guys show Saturday.”
“You know…There is no way the two of us are gonna be able to get this done before we have to be back to work, right?”
“Nick…We already discussed this. I’m gonna get what I can done, then I’m gonna have a contractor come in and finish it. Why are you bringing it up again?”
He looked a bit agitated so I decided I’d voice my idea at another time, “Nothing. Just thinking maybe….”
“Maybe what?” He grumbled. “If it’s too much for you, you don’t have to help. You’re free to leave anytime you want.”
“No…No man, you got the wrong idea there. I just thought maybe…well why aren’t your friends helping you? I mean, if it was me…all the guys, well…they’d be here helping me, whether I wanted it or not.”
“Well…they don’t know where I am and I’d like to keep it that way for a while. Maybe when the pain dulls a bit…but I can’t take them all right now.”
“What happened man? I know we aren’t that close but man…this thing, it’s tearing you up.” I leaned over the piano and wiped a persistent tear from his eye. “Maybe I can help.”
He looked up at me, took a deep breath, “This is what happened.” He held up a picture of Justin and him. Justin had his arms wrapped around him and the biggest smile on his face. He was looking at JC with what seemed to be an adoring, if not loving, gaze. “He took my heart, ripped it out of my chest and then commenced to stomp on it. Bad thing is I should have seen it coming. I should have never believed him in the first place. I’m such a fool.”
I stand up and move to the piano bench, taking a seat next to him, “Tell me?”
“I made the mistake of falling in love with him. I should have known better but…can’t pick who you fall in love with, right?” He looks at me and I nod. “Well…he figured out that I had fallen for him and that was when it all started. The only thing I can say for myself is that I did have the will power to never, ever go to him. He always came to me. He came to my room whenever Britney wasn’t around. He’d come in, have me suck him off or fuck me. He actually would stay once in a while, which is probably what made me start to think he’d actually started to care for me in some way. Boy was I wrong. Unfortunately it took me way too long to figure out that he was screwing Brit too. By then I was hooked though. He had me and there wasn’t much I could do about it. I stayed at the hotels when the others would go out cuz I thought maybe he’d come back early to spend time with me. *snort* Not even close. He’d come back alright…for a quick fuck and then run to his room and sleep. By the time I finally got wise to him, he’d moved on to someone else. Someone I didn’t think he’d ever be able to pull the same shit with, but he did. He pulled it with him, then tried to come back to me. That’s when I came out here.” He took a deep breath and then finished up, “I came here to get away from Justin because I couldn’t tell him no. If I’d have stayed in Orlando or LA he’d have been at my house for the next three months and I can’t take that. Not again.”
“Wow…I’m not sure what to say to all that.” I put an arm over his shoulder and pull him into my chest.
“You don’t have to say anything. I feel like a big enough fool that every time I think about him I break into tears. I’ve never cried so much in my life and I can’t figure out what the hell is wrong with me.”
“You’re stressed out, over working yourself, not sleeping and you’re upset. I can’t imagine why your emotions are running away from you. You should try to get some sleep. Didn’t I read some where that you were the ‘Sleepy one’ of the group?” I smile.
“Yeah…They’d be hard pressed to prove it this last week, huh?”
“Hey, how about we do something a little more upbeat? I know you’ve got at least one stashed in that head of yours.” I couldn’t hold back the laughter when he started playing ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’ but had to stop when he picked up the first verse with more feeling than I ever remember seeing in any of the ‘boys’.
I’m doing this tonight
“God, this is sad.” He exclaims, “I can think of a song from either of our groups that expresses my exact feelings at almost any given moment but I can’t just tell him off and get it over with. Why?”
“Well, I can’t explain it, but as long as it’s helping you get through this then I wouldn’t knock it.” I stand up, “Now…What say we get some work done there Your Majesty?”
He takes my outstretched hand and rises, “Sounds like a plan slave boy.”
We spent the rest of the day working hard. When the sun went down I looked around the room and noticed JC watching me. “What?”
He smiled, shrugged and then spoke, “Why are you helping me? I mean…I appreciate it and all but I can imagine you have better things to do with your time off than work your ass off on someone else’s project.”
“Actually…No, not really. I was just gonna lay around on the beach. That’s not such a great idea when you’re in our line of work. I really can’t afford to gain much weight. It happened once and the fans laid into me big time about it.” I smirked, “I don’t even want to go there man. You should have heard management when I came back off that break. That’s why they’re always trying to keep me in the public eye when we’re recording and shit. When I know I have to be in public or on TV I don’t eat as much. I get lazy when I’m off.”
JC snorts again, “Well, don’t think you’ll have to worry this time.” He takes a step towards the door then turns around, “Hey, you wanna go grab some dinner?”
“What? You mean you’re actually gonna eat?” I sneer.
His attempt at looking indignant makes us both laugh, “I eat…When my mind isn’t on other things.”
“I’m sure.” I head for the front door, “Give me a half hour?”
“Sure, think I’m gonna take a shower and change anyway.” He says from the stairs.
******Later that evening****
We had spent a nice quiet evening, we had discussed the eating habits of Kevin, Joey’s little girl, Chris’ clothing line, Lance’s businesses, Howie and Brian’s charities and indulged in quite a bit of laughter during dinner. Then we wandered down to the beach and sat under the stars just watching the waves crash into the shore.
Suddenly JC’s cellphone breaks the silence with its shrill ring, “Hello?” His back immediately stiffened and the sadness, which had finally started to diminish in his eyes, came back with full force. “What do you want. How’d you get this number? I specifically told her I didn’t want YOU to have this number. I don’t care what you told her. I don’t give a shit what you want. I don’t wanna talk to you. Don’t call me again.” He clicked the phone off, got up and briskly walked towards his house, leaving me behind.
“Hey!” I shouted, chasing after him. “You ok?” I place my hand on his shoulder and could feel him tense at the contact. “Hey, I’m not…” I throw my hands up in the air, “Just wanna be your friend man, nothing more. Was that…”
“That…” He growls, “Was Justin. My mother, who I gave explicit instructions not to give any of this information to, gave him not only my number but my address here. Fuck, guess I’m gonna have to abandon the house now.”
“Why?”
“Because…He’s not gonna stop at a phone call. He’ll be here by morning. I gotta go pack and get out of here before he gets here.”
“I’ll help,” I follow him into the house and up the stairs. “Two are faster than one.”
He looks up at me and gives a small smile, “Thanks.”
Knock, knock
“Oh, fuck. He’s here already. Shit.” JC darts around the small room throwing his clothes back into his suitcase, then heads down the stairs.
“Come on, we can probably make it out the back before he notices.” I grab his arm and pull him towards the back door.”
The pounding on the front door continued along with Justin shouting through the door, “Jayce!!!! I know you’re here. Come on open up baby. I need you.”
JC stopped in his tracks and spun around. I could tell he was getting ready to cave in and let Justin back in so I tightened my grip on his arm and whispered, “Do you really want that pain again? You’re just finally getting over him. Come on, you can hide out at my place til he leaves.”
“He’s not gonna leave. He’ll figure out that the door is open and come in. Then he’ll make himself at home and wait til I come back.” He whispers back, defeated.
“You can’t deal with him tonight. He wasn’t invited here, he can wait til you’re ready to deal with him. If that means we hide out at my house then so be it. If worse comes to worse I send the guys over to chase him off.” I drag him out the door and down the steps just as Justin opens the front door. “Shit, come on…Gotta get outta here before he sees us.”
We run down the beach to my house and I slam the door behind us, making sure the lock catches before I make my way through the kitchen and drop his bag in the dining room. When I reach out to flip the light on he quietly states, “Not yet. If he saw us he’d have followed.”
“Well, we can’t sit in the dark all night.”
“Why not?” I can make his sillouette out leaning against the wall, moonlight shining on his tense face.
“You ok?” I start making my way over to him. “Shit!” I exclaim as I stub my foot on the end table.
JC is immediately at my side, “You ok? What happened? Something bite you?”
“Whoa, slow down there nurse. Just stubbed my toe.”
“Well, sit down.” He looks around quickly, “Where the hell are the lights in this room? Don’t you have a lamp or something around here?”
“Other end of the couch,” as he makes his way over I snicker, “Careful, we don’t need both of us injured.”
He manages to make it over to the lamp, get it turned on and almost back to me before he trips and lands sprawled across my lap.
I reach out, a fraction of a second too late to catch him, causing his head to land just a tad too close to my crotch. He turns his body, his hand slips against my thigh, slipping between my legs as he pushes himself up. “Sorry.” He smiles sheepishly.
“It’s ok. Relax.” I smile and reach down to help him out of my lap. I keep a hold of his hand just a bit longer than necessary but he wasn’t pulling away and it felt so smooth and perfect there, I never wanted to let go. Then reality set in and I remembered why we were in my house in the first place.
“Now, let me see that foot,” he states as he pushes himself completely out of my lap and onto the floor in front of me, having shoved the offending table out of the way.
I pulled my foot up and placed it in his lap, “You tickle me, you die.”
“Don’t worry, got no plans on tickling your smelly feet Carter. Just hold still and let me get a look at the damn thing, would you?” He runs his hand over the top of my foot and then gently rubs the reddened portion of my foot.
“Well, Nurse Chasez? What’s the prognosis?”
“Well…” He looks up at me and I can clearly see the amusement in his eyes, “I think you’ll live but I’m not so sure the nurse will.”
“What? Why?”
“The smell man. Think I’m gonna die from the fumes man.”
I crack up laughing and so does he. He places my foot back on the floor and climbs back on the couch. We sit in silence for a while, then I look over at him and realize he looks like he hasn’t slept in days. “Hey, you ready to crash man? I got a couple of spare rooms you can choose from. Maybe take a shower or something?”
“Yeah, that’d be nice. I’m beat.”
“K, c’mon.” We get up and make our way down the hall. “There’s two spare rooms on this side of the hall and one down at the end of the hall. The one down there has it’s own bathroom, with a huge ass tub.”
“Sounds like a dream come true. Lead the way.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to get cleaned up. I’m gonna go take a shower myself. You need anything I’ll be upstairs. Don’t hesitate to ask. K?”
“Great.” He starts removing his shirt so I head out of the room, “Hey Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.” He’s quiet for a few minutes, “For everything. I don’t know why you’re being so great, but…Thanks.”
I walk back over to him and place my hands on either side of his face, then pull him to me. “You are more than welcome. I’d like to think you’d do the same for me.” I lean in and kiss him on the nose, “Besides, you’re the cutest thing I’ve seen in months, how can I not help you in your time of need?” With that being said I hurry out of the room before he processes what I just said. When I close the door behind me I can’t help but smile as I recall the completely stunned look on his face. /Hmmm. Wonder what kinda reaction he’d have had if I’d have kissed him?/
*****
The next morning I wake up to the marvelous smell of bacon and coffee wafting through the house. “What the…Oh shit.” I jump out of bed and run for the kitchen, thinking of all the horror stories I’ve heard about his cooking.
“Hey, you’re awake.” He smiles and glances up from the pan for a second. “Hope you don’t mind I’ve cooked breakfast. Pancakes are in the microwave. Wasn’t sure what you liked so…Just decided on pancakes.”
“Wow, I…um…had no idea you could cook.” I stammered, making my way over to him.
“Well, it’s the least I could do for the cripple.” He smiled and turned to face me.
“So…” I begin, then meet those bright blue eyes. I stand there for a few seconds then lean in. I felt as if I had no power over myself as I leaned in and placed a light kiss on those sweet lips of his. It didn’t last long but when I pulled away I blushed profusely, “Sorry…I…God, I’m so sorry. I know this is like the last thi…”
He reached up and placed a finger on my lips, effectively halting any further stammering. “Ssssh, please don’t apologize.” He then turned back to the frying pan and finished removing the last of the bacon.
I wasn’t sure what to make of his reaction so I placed my hands on his hips and my chin on his shoulder, “You ok?”
“Mmmmhmmm, just don’t want this to burn.” When he takes the last piece of bacon out the pan he turns around in my arms, “Ok, now…explain.”
I raise an eyebrow, “Huh?”
“Why did you just kiss me?”
“Oh, that?” I take a deep breath, “To be honest…I’ve been wanting to do it since you walked up on the beach the other day. But with all the crap you’ve been dealing with…Well, let’s just say, I didn’t think it would be a bright idea. I don’t know what came over me just now, but I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry that I couldn’t resist but I’m not sorry I kissed you.” I blush again, “Are you mad?”
“What? No…of course not. It’s just…Well, I don’t think…I’m just not…Shit.” He stammers, turning red.
I pull him into my chest, “Shhh. I know. I’m not gonna push you. I sure the hell don’t wanna be the rebound boy. I just want you to know you have options, ok?”
He looks up at me and sighs, “Thanks.”
“No problem, now lets eat this feast you’ve made before it gets cold.”
“Sounds good.”
We enjoy the breakfast, clean up and then head into the livingroom. I watch him for a few minutes before I ask, “What’s wrong? You can’t sit still for more than two seconds. You keep fidgeting. Why?”
“Cuz I know I’ve got all that work to do and Justin’s sitting over there, and I can’t get it done. The floor guys are gonna be there and the kitchen is still in shambles. We left cabinets all over the floor, remember?” He states quietly.
He continues to fidget, he was really starting to get anxious. I got a bit nervous that he was gonna get up and head over there. I reached over and picked up the phone, dialing a very familiar number. “Hey Kev. Could you do me a favor?” I smile and nod into the phone, “Yeah I know what time it is, that’s why I called you. No one will mess with you when you haven’t had three cups of coffee. Look, JC’s holed up at my house cuz he has an uninvited guest at his. You think you could take care of it for him? Yeah, come on Kev, please?” I look up to see a very distraught JC staring at me. He gets up and starts making his way to the door. “Shit, Kev just get over here and hurry up about it. I gotta go.” I hang up the phone and chase JC down. “Where are you going?”
“Home.” He states in a very small voice.
“Why? Justin’s still there, isn’t he?”
“More than likely.”
“Then WHY are you going back over there?” I grab his arm to stop him from moving around me and out the door.
“I can’t stay here. It’s wrong, I shouldn’t have involved you in this. This is my problem, you don’t need this crap.”
“You didn’t involve me. I involved myself. You aren’t going over there, now go sit back down. Kevin and AJ are on there way over here. They’ll go over and get rid of Timberlake and then we can go finish cleaning up the kitchen so it’s good to go for the floor guys tomorrow.” I wrap my arm around his shoulder, “No come back in here and relax.”
We return to the couch and wait for Kevin and AJ. When they arrive I get up and head for the kitchen. JC gets up, opens the door and then heads to his room.
“Well…hello to you too.” AJ quips.
“Hush.” Kevin slaps him on the back of the neck.
I walk back into the room with two cups of coffee and look around, “Where…”
Kevin points to the hallway, “To his room I presume.”
“Damn it.” I hand over the cups and head down the hall, “Stay there you two. I’ll be right back.” I make my way down the hall, “JC? What are you…” I come to a stop at the doorway and watch him for a minute before continuing. “JC? Why are you packing again?”
“Can’t stay. Need to get back to the house.”
I reach out and grab him, pulling him into a hug. “Why? I thought we had decided to let Kev chase him out, then go back over and finish up.”
“I can’t let Kevin fight my battles for me. I have to do this myself Nick. It’s time.”
I pull away enough to look him in the face, “You sure about this?”
“Yeah. But if you guys wanna come along, I won’t stop you.”
“I’d be happy to and at this point there is no way I’m telling Kevin I called him out of a nice warm bed to do nothing. No thanks, I’m not that anxious to get my ass kicked.”
He chuckles into my chest, “Yeah, can’t say I blame you.”
“So you ready? Or you wanna get another cup of coffee first?”
“Coffee’s good.” He moves away from me but grabs my hand as we make our way back down the hall.
We all make our way over to JC’s house. The lights are all off and it’s completely quiet.
“You think we could be lucky enough that he just left?” Kevin grumbles.
“No.” JC states as the back door opens and Justin steps out. JC gasps and turns white.
“JC?” I whisper, “You ok?”
“No.”
“There you are. What are you doing with them, baby?” Justin smiles.
The grip JC has on my hand tightens considerably, “Justin? What are you doing here?”
“I came up here to see you. Josh? What’s going on? Why’d you just disappear like that? I thought we were gonna…” Justin comes down the steps and right up to JC. If he noticed that our hands were entwined he gave no indication of it. “Baby, I’ve missed you.”
Justin leans in and tries to kiss JC but ends up kissing the air as JC steps back and out of his reach. With his free hand JC pushes Justin’s head away from him, “I’m not your baby, so please stop calling me that. As far as us…Well…there is no us. Not anymore. I’m through being your toy.”
“What? What do you mean Josh? You were never my toy. I love you baby. You’re the only one for me. I thought you knew that. Come on Josh, what is this? You trying to be all macho for your new friends?” Justin snickers, “Come on sweetie. We don’t need them. I’ve got plans for you and me and they don’t include no Backstreet Boys.”
By this time I could see the vein in Kevin’s temple pulsing and AJ looked like he was ready to launch himself at Justin at any second. JC though seemed to be calm and was very explicit with his next words. “I am not going anywhere with you. I am not your baby, darling, sweetie or anything else. We are no longer a ‘we’, we are simply co-workers. If you have a problem with that, then I suggest we get the others here right now and end this right now. I will not be treated the way you treated me anymore. I deserve better and I’m gonna do my best to find it. I don’t care if you think any different but you have exactly 1 hour to clear out of my house before I call the police and have you arrested for trespassing.” JC turned and walked back down the beach back towards my house then stopped and turned around one last time, “One hour Justin. No more.”
An hour later we returned to find the house in the same condition we had left it in the afternoon before. “Well…I smiled, guess I did call Kevin over for nothing.”
“Hell no. If you guys hadn’t been here there is no way I could have stood up to him like that.” JC looked from me to AJ to Kevin, “Thank you all very much.”
“Not a problem,” AJ smiled.
“Sure kid,” Kevin reached over and ruffled JC’s hair, “You want some help with this? Nick said someone was coming tomorrow to do the floors?”
JC looked at me and smiled, “Yeah, they’re coming to lay them around 7 in the morning. Man…It’s gonna take forever to get all this crap out of here. Fucking Justin, why’d he have to come out here?”
“Relax, JC…between the four of us we shouldn’t have any problems getting this stuff moved.” AJ states as he picks up a couple boxes, “Just tell us where to put this stuff.”
“It all goes in the garage, but you guys really don’t have to…”
“Think nothing of it. I’m sure we’ll think of something you can do to make it up to us.” Kevin smirks as he looks JC up and down.
Just lovers we were,
Oh, what a lie
You’re probably gonna start a fight
I know this can’t be right
Hey baby come on
I loved you endlessly
When you weren’t there for me
So now it’s time to leave and make it alone