I'd been leaving the after parties when Justin had for a few days now. Tonight when I left I could see the anger in Lance's eyes as he watched us leave. I knew he was pissed but I "had" to keep an eye on Justin.

It's a good thing we're about done with this leg of the tour cuz I don't think Justin will make it much longer at the pace we're going. He is thinner than I am now, if you can believe that.

I wish I could think of something, anything that could help. I wish I could talk to Lance about this, but every time Justin's name is mentioned he gets tense. The guys don't notice, but I do.

It hurts to know that the man I love more than anything can't stand my best friend.

I carefully remove Justin's clothing and pull a pair of sweats up over hips that are impossibly thin. My eyes travel over the body lying on the bed. Over the extremely narrow waist, up over the once defined abdomen to the ribs that were showing so much I was able to count them. I quietly whisper, "Oh Justin," as I sit on the bed next to him.

"JC? What are you doing still here?" He mumbles half asleep.

"Just checking on you. Go back to sleep."

"Mmmm, night."

I sit and watch him for a bit longer wonder just how long it's been since he last ate, and then I get up and return to mine and Lance's room. When I open the door I am met with a pair of blazing green eyes, "Where have you been?"

"I was tucking Justin in. I told you…"

"I followed you back. You two left two hours ago. Have you been with him this whole time?"

"Yes, but…"

I trailed off as Lance got up, crossed the room and stated, "Then you should have stayed there."

"What? Why?" I stammered. "But, Lance…"

"Don't Jayce. I'll see you in the morning." He left, just like that. He didn't even say goodnight, I love you, nothing. Just left.

The next morning we all got on the buses. I was hoping I would get a chance to talk to Lance alone once we started moving but he had become an extra attachment to Joey's side for the entire ride. He must not have told Joey "what" our fight had been about because he kept giving me this strange apologetic look.

I finally gave up and went to lie down in by bunk. I fell asleep with a deep ache in my heart. I was slowly loosing the best thing in my life because I was trying desperately to save my best friend. It seemed I was going to lose them both though.

A few hours later I climbed out of my bunk determined to get Lance to talk to me, but when I reached the lounge Chris was there playing a game on the playstation.

I quietly sat down and looked out the window. Chris turned and said, "They switched buses." Then went back to his game.

Justin came through heading for the bathroom. I watched his thin form pass then turned my attention back to the passing scenery. When Justin passed back through without saying a word, I turn my attention back to him. I didn't realize Chris was watching me until Justin was back in his bunk and I hear "Is there something going on between you and Justin?" "What? No. Why does everyone keep asking me about Justin?" I shout. "He's my best friend. Am I not allowed to look at or spend time with my best friend anymore?" I storm out of the lounge to the front of the bus. I remain there until we arrive at our destination.

I wait for everyone else to go in before I even get up to gather my stuff. When I come off the bus Lonnie smiles at me and then ushers me into the hotel.

"Here's the key to your room." He says as he hands me the small card.

I give him a weak smile, "Thanks."

We make our way up to the floor we're staying on.

I open the door and enter the room. Not bothering to turn the light on, I drop my bag, lean back against the door and let the tears stream down my face. "God, how can I keep them? I need them both in my life."

"Why? Am I not enough for you anymore?" I hear from the darkness.