your opportunity to read phli's exclusive interview with stell, the world's most famous salami salesman.
PHLI : Hello Stell.
STELL : Hi.
PHLI : Firstly, what do you think are the critical aspects of good salesmanship?
STELL : Firstly, beat your subject into submission. Then, when in a mental state of near blackout, keep telling them your product is the best over and over. When they wake up, they will either be convinced you are the best or too scared to buy from your competitors.
PHLI : Ok. Thank you. Secondly, where is the cheese?
STELL : It is more important to realise that there are many places where the cheese could be. Perhaps in Lichtenstein you will find your answer.
PHLI : Yes. And does it have jobs?
STELL : That is one of the most frequently asked questions in the ilfracoomb. Cheese wherever you are, send a self addressed envelope.
PHLI : I'm certainly excited about that. I've always wanted to ask you ... if I have 3 yellow balls in my sack, how many blue and red balls does Roberto von Boradnakov have in the bag of testament?
STELL : Four.
PHLI : What would you say to any budding upstarts out there hoping to emulate your success?
STELL : Don't you dare. My success is my schmarmpit.
PHLI : Thank you for your words of wisdom.
STELL : Thank you.