Never First
Copyright 1998 Ginger Johnson
All Rights Reserved

Gail shuddered, watching her husband's fist sink into the wall's plaster.  Small pieces crumpled to the dove grey carpet.  Taking a deep breath,  her eyes returned to his face. She took note of the flush, a sure sign of his anger.

"Why do you always bring up my past?" He stormed around the room.

"You brought it up," her weak voice echoed in the violence-filled room. Gail hated sounding meek. She loathed herself when she wouldn't stand up to him.

"I just need to go over for a couple of hours. The baby's sick. You're being totally unreasonable."

Gail  felt her control snap. "John, she's needed you every night this week. Four nights you've got up and left me alone. Tuesday night, we were in the middle of making love and you just left."

"She thought she heard someone."

"So what could you do that the cops couldn't?" Gail knew she was fighting for her marriage and a sinking feeling told her she was going to lose.

"You just don't understand. She isn't strong like you.  You could take a creep on, I don't have to worry about you, like I do her. She doesn't have your strength."

"She doesn't have to," tears flowed down her face. "You always fight her battles.  Me, you leave to fight my own.  I'm your wife, John.  I'm suppose to be the most important thing in your life."

"What am I suppose to do, Gail?"

"Tell her to give the baby some medicine. Babies run fevers all the time.  A doctor won't even see a child for just a fever. There is nothing you can do."

"She needs me to be there."

"I need you here. You have to decide who's more important.  Are her needs more important than mine?"

"You're not being fair, Gail. You know you're important to me, but how can I just abandon them?"

"Dammit John, I'm not asking you to abandon them."  Gail felt her anger rising. "Just put me first for once."

"I can't deal with this now.  I'll talk to you later."

The door slammed behind him. Walking over to the hall closet, Gail pulled out her suitcase.  She might be able to forgive his past, but she could never forget she never came first.