The Story of Neil So Far... Neil is/was the multi-livered chemist of our flat. He can often be seen in his natural habitat of the various bars of The Union or Sauchiehall Street. He is known throughout the land for his four livers which bring him much alcohol tolerance. Neil has created many things, inculding the "medicinal vodka", his own unique recipe, which relieves a cold whilst also increasing drunkenness. Genius. He was involved in an unfortunate accident in which a rebellious student head-butted Neil's fist in an unprovoked attack. Neil's vicious retaliation is said to include a hard-hitting leaflet campaign.

1am Friday 9th Dec This week Neil has been mostly eating sausages, iceberg lettuce and plain chocolate digestives. Neil helped Steven to intoxicate himself for an entire weekend, collapse on the Union floor and collapse on the kitchen floor. Steven was very grateful. Alistair saved the day.

3am Monday 10th Dec After courageously polishing off the mulled wine/vodka, Neil ensures that his spirits are kept "high" by assisting Oliver with some "refreshments". Neil retires to his room to start his revision. Techno-hip-hop-rap at this time at the correct volume (76.1 dB) stimulates his brain a hard nights work.

6am Monday 10th Dec Neil sleeps.

8.45am Monday 10th Dec Neil wakes in time for his first exam.

Tuesday 11th Dec Neil laughed when Craig "borrowed" a Christmas tree. And then he got pissed (probably).

Saturday 21st Feb Scotland-England 6 Nations Rugby. Neil's birthday. Carnage. Slipknot were crapping themselves.

Tuesday 4th March Neil wins a marathon pub crawl (obviously). But a poor defenceless lamp post and a traffic cone were brutally assaulted.