"What to say?"

I really should avoid these moods. You know the ones I mean, where you can reply to the question, "How are you?" with, "I'm here." You're just so... blah. Anyway, the intent of this page is not to ramble about me feelings, if you ever want to talk to me about how I or you feel, just IM me (look for WeirdTab or WeirdTab02), or drop me an email, and we'll see what we can do.

Actually, I'm not sure what this page is. I was sort of going to use it as an outline for what to add in the future... but what's the point in that, why don't I just type up that stuff? This could be a drawing board... I just don't know. I know I have things that I'd like to put up on this page, but I hold back... There are things I want to share, but I don't open up that easily.

If you open up, you allow yourself the chance to be hurt.

So, yeah. Last night I tried to fall asleep and couldn't... combination of staying up until one a.m. for a week and too much thinking. I even came up with some poems as I lay there (laid there?... layed there?). I'd like to put them up, but I'm not subtle... or anything. I'm not a poet... I'm not even as good as that average teenage angst, "Look-at-me, I can write poetry!" shit. Pardons to anyone I know who writes poetry.... So, these poems are obviously about certain people, and if I titled them, I'd use their names... making my feelings even more clear. We can't have that.

I was sent this forward one time... Of course, I didn't save it, why would I save one of the best forwards I ever got? So I've gotten out my diary now... (Yes, I keep one. Yes, almost daily. No, no poetry or stories-- just reflections and recitations of the day) I printed it out and stapled it. Let's see, I got it November 29... which makes it about a week after *ahem* something. There's that not talking thing again. Anyway, I underlined these key phrases...

• "...the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them..."
• "... saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?"
• "Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?"
• "Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear the other person dows not care as much, or at all."

So there you are. I admit nothing outright... Of course. That wouldn't be "Tabithaic".

Aw, damn, I lost ambition. More to come in the future, perhaps.