Oh my... Teresa!!

So, Teresa, being the wonderful fellow webmistress she is, signed my guestbook as I requested in an email! Fabulous! But... turns out the space I thought was unlimited is... well... limited. Here's the *wonderful* notification email she sent me!

Grr ... I just wrote like a million hours worth of reading into your guesbook - praising unlimited space, and it cut me off! THE SPACE WAS LIMITED! So I'm sending the original entry to you, and you'll realize how ironic it was that in glorifying your unlimited space, it cut me off. AND I had said something about being too lazy to email you, and LOOK WHAT I'm doing now! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I HATE COMPUTERS. WITH A PASSIONATE PASSION FILLED PASSION.

Hah, now you have to love me forever (in reference to your email). It's like signing a contract with the devil. Even though you didn't sign anything, there was no contract ... and I'm not really the devil. Heh, unlimited space - FINALLY! Now I don't have to cry about that. Third to sign, woo hoo! But see, you signed first, so that doesn't count 'caues you're the webmistress. And Monica signed next but she doesn't count because ... she's you. I just finished reading your whole survey AND looking at your room ... and I'm going through Tabitha overload. Woo hoo, way to mention losers in love in there, I thank you from the bottom of my cliched and probably slowly beating to death heart. If only my website would actually let people VIEW IT as opposed to yours. It won't even let ME get into it to see it and I FUCKING MADE THE PAGE! Sorry about my mouth ... I'll wash it out with soap when I get some good tasting ones ... I'm sure they have those somewhere. I mean, if they waste time making things like ... the little caps that go ontop of mechanical pencils over the little eraser that runs out really fast that everybody loses (the cap) they have time to make good tasting soap, right? Hey ... is that picture of Nick's girlfriend still on here? I didn't get a chance to check yet ... I'm too lazy to email you the lyrics to that American Pie parody for the page, so here it is: (I'm abusing the unlimited space)

A long long time ago
I can still remember
When I wrote this song
And made a great big pile

And now some chick with leather pants
Who barely sings
And cannot dance
Has made a crappy version
Disco style

Madonna's cover makes me shiver
My stomach turns
I can't forgive her.
I don't know if it's dance rap
I'm pretty sure it's bull crap

I punched the door and ran outside
When I heard her sour notes collide
She should be charged with homicide
She made my music die

So why did Madonna kill American Pie?
Well it's tragic but my classic has been hung out to dry
She might as well have poked a sharp stick in my eye
She's making all the neighbor dogs cry
She's making all the neighbor dogs cry

I thought this girl knew how to croon
But she sounds just like two donkeys screwin'
They'll put out any crap these days
And the oldies I admired most
The hip hop stations turn to toast
They steal our songs
And then they coast

They make the music die
So bye bye to American Pie
When Madonna killed my classic
I just wanted to hide
If Puffy ever takes a shot at Vincent I'll die
I'll pop a cap in his ass and drive by
I'll pop a cap in his ass and drive by

So why did Madonna kill American Pie?
Well it's tragic but my classic has been hung out to dry
She might as well have poked a sharp stick in his eye
She's making all the neighbor dogs cry

Yay, way for me to abuse unlimited space. Now fix my page for me, that son of a mother. I'm so mad. Grr. That's my mad voice. Grr. I'm absolutely avoiding my Malcolm X reading and signing this to be one of the longest guestbook entries ever ... I have all of it to read, PLUS one chapter from last time ... another AP English all-nighter for me. All right, I'm going to go freeze in my room now ... the heater's broken in my house ... been broken the whole weekend (since Friday) and it's freezing ... I'm so cold ... brr ... if I die, will you take care of my rapees for me? thanks, I love you Tabitha ... really, I do. And you have to love me forever, remember? You promised me in the email ...

*END*

See how long it was, and the beauty and irony of it? SON OF A MOTHER! MASTURBATION IS GOD'S WAY OF SAYING HE DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU AND TO GO PLAY WITH YOURSELF, DAMNIT!

---
~~FormerHardyBitchNo1~~
(Teresa Tung)

"I feel proud to be Australian every day. I love Australia.
It's my favorite country."
-- Daniel Johns of Silverchair

"I've had enough of this world,
And its people's mindless games."
-- Pardon Me (Incubus)

http://www.angelfire.com/md/frick2NS
Go. Now. I urge you. Sign the lonely guestbook.