- Learn from the Mafia and try the ol' horse's head routine. Replace
perhaps, with snakes or Michael Jackson.
- Nail the target's door shut.
- Change every calendar in the office to March 31st and catch everyone
who pull the pranks "on the wrong day". Declare that the proper
punishment is to douse them in rotten eggs.
- Sell the target's car, house or mother. Leave a little message
saying, "IOU... APRIL FOOLS LOSER!"
- Get their face put on Australia's (or America's or whatever) Most
Wanted.
- Bribe a mortician to borrow a corpse for a day. Put it in your place
in bed, send him to board meetings or push him off buildings, watch him
splat (somewhat) and give the traditional shout for the day: "APRIL
FOOLS! HE WAS ALREADY DEAD!"
- Take off someone's door and install it backwards, essentially
locking them in their own house.
- Tape up a telephone so people smack themselves in the head with it.
But as an extra, put super-glue on the receiver.
- Scream "SADDAM HAS FIRED THE ROCKETS!!!" every ten minutes,
especially at the office, in the street or at an old people's home.
- Nail the sheets of someone to the bed so they can't get out of bed.
- Remove the target's steering wheel.
- Turn off the office's, university's or school's network server.
- Get the target's trousers. Cut a line along the butt of it. It's
practically invisible, but the split opens up wide for all to see when
they bend over or put their hands in their pocket.
- Glue a note to someone's desk.
- Rearrange all the keys on someone's keyboard.
- Turn up to a bank, wield a shotgun and yell, "Everybody be cool,
this is a robbery!" (I love Pulp Fiction) Then reply, "APRIL FOOLS!"
Beware that the police might also say this to you when they throw you in
prison.
- Cut the inside wires in a computer wire, so that it's severed, but
invisible. Watch the techies scratch their head in confusion as
everything is okay, but it still won't work.
- (This has to be done a while in advance) Compose a love letter and
send it off to the target, telling them to meet you, with a packet of
sifted icing sugar (for the kinky lovemaking), at a designated place.
Then, on the day, inform the police of a drug transaction. Visit them at
the prison and give them the "APRIL FOOLS!"
- Connect a high voltage current to the target's door knob.
- If you're a boss, declare a wage rise for everyone. Also declare
that the rest of the week is a holiday. When everyone catches on that it
isn't the real you, laugh maniacally and say, "APRIL FOOLS! I WASN'T
LYING! YOU'RE ALL FIRED HAHAHAHAHA!"
- Don't turn up to work. When your bomb demolishes the office, you can
give the standard April Fools cry.
- For the ultimate in April Fools pranks, remove one section of the
highway and quickly say, "April Fools!" when each car plummets over the
edge. Make sure its at rush hour.
- Spike the office water and coffee. Spike with alcohol, Ecstasy or
truth serum.
- "Borrow" a shopping trolley and visit the library. Fill up with
books and walk straight through those new anti-theft gates, tip the
books out the front door and laugh maniacally. This is great because the
librarians will have to put the books back through the anti-theft gates,
setting off the alarm for each book.
- Pizza stores reckon they're sooo good. Instead of ringing up for a
false order, walk straight in and order 20 take-away pizzas, all quite
repulsive. Then slap your forehead and "go get your wallet from the
car". Drive away, giving the cry.
- Pretend to have a heart attack and shout, "April Fools" to all the
people who turn up to your funeral. Make sure you're not getting
cremated or shot into space.
- Promise to donate half a million dollars to a disabled children's
charity. On the stage, yell, "APRIL FOOLS" and watch about 50 kids
dreams die in a explosion of your laughs.
- Disable the office's elevators. Put tonnes of oil on the stairs.
- Go to an acupuncturist. As he/she inserts the last needle, scream
loudly, jump up, flail around and scare off all other patients.
- Blow up the town dam. You know what to say when the town is drowned
under millions of tonnes of water.
- Ring up a radio psychiatrist. Try to bring everyone to tears and
then give the standard cry.
- Get those freaky snake eye contact lenses. When someone goes to talk
to you, shriek and say, "Our invasion has been thwarted! Eek! Eek! Beam
me up!"
- Stage an elaborate deadly virus outbreak.
- Get the target's bedroom moved down the street, or even better, in
Portugal or Alaska.
- Plug up the target's bathroom airtight. Turn on all the taps the
night before as you take them out to dinner. If you're really
sophisticated, do this for the entire house. (The next morning, the
target, in a drunken stupor, wakes up in the gutter outside his house.
He opens up his front door to a scene from Jumanji)
- Get a skywriter to write the phrase, "(target's name) is gay". Try
to get it broadcast across TV, radio and newspapers.
- Inform about two of your fellow classmates or coworkers that they
better be ready for today's fancy dress day.
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