We did some weird and atypical things in this but we think it adds to the humour and we like humour. We’ve decided to kill the timeline. We’re somewhere towards the end of the first season and then we write our own thing in Weiss Kreuz. In Harry Potter we’re just making it up since the books haven’t reached year six yet - but we are saying what Rowling wrote for years one through four did occur.
I think I’ve babbled enough now... read and enjoy! Oh yeah! Should I mention we were feeling rather childish when we wrote most of this part?
"So Crawford! What did you think of the feast? I think it went quite well, don’t you?" Schuldig leaned back in his chair. Crawford let out a noncommittal grunt.
"Don’t lean back in the chair. You’ll fall and then we’ll have some nosy poltergeist poke what’s left of its body in here to find-"
THUMP.
"I’m guessing that was a foretelling of yours." Schuldig muttered darkly as he pulled himself back to his feet and his chair with him.
"What’s going on in here?" The one ghost they had been warned against when the entered Hogwarts glided into their room.
"I heard a thump. Is it anything inappropriate?" Schuldig smirked.
"No, but I’ve been working-"
"SCHULDIG!"
"Hey Peeves! You’re a prankster, right? There are these two new teachers and two new students that I think really need a good Welcome-to-Hogwarts Surprise. Got any good ones stored up?"
After the feast, The adult members of Weiß and Kritiker assembled in the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom, along with Headmaster Albus Dumbledore for a briefing, of sorts. Manx and Birman now oddly resembled house elves, instead of humans, but they seemed to be taking it rather well. Yohji was sitting backwards across a chair inspecting a back issue of the Daily Prophet, dated to the day after their last mission. Aya was sitting normally and not doing much else. Persia was giving his approval that the room was, in fact, safe to talk in. Dumbledore was NOT impressed.
"I was practically ORDERED to hire the three of you by the Minister of Magic. Said it was a matter of National Security. Would you be so kind as to explain this to me?" He asked shortly. Yohji closed the newspaper and tossed it Dumbledore's way.
"Check out the headline." He suggested. Dumbledore did. It read "Weiß takes down another Dark Wizard gang!" His eyes went wide as he looked up at Yohji, Aya and Persia in horror.
"These two, plus Ken Hidaka and Omi Tsukiyono are Weiß. I am the one who created the group, and the one who gives Weiß their targets. We have discovered that Voldemort is trying to resurrect an ancient demon with the help of a powerful group called "Esset". We are here to stop them by any means necessary." Persia explained. Dumbledore eyed Aya and Yohji suspiciously.
"Are you sure they're safe?" He asked.
"Come on, professor! You know me!" Yohji protested. It didn't seem to help much.
"It's BECAUSE I know you that I'm asking, Kudou." Dumbledore replied.
The food fight broken up and the feast halted, the Gryffindors marched hungrily up to their tower. Snickering to himself, Peeves snuck in the throng close to his target, the new Japanese boy... He got into position directly behind him… and let out the loudest, smelliest, most wall-vibrating fart you'd ever had the misfortune of being around when it was released. Peeves hovered over them on the ceiling as at least a hundred students turned to the new kid.
"UGH! OMI~~!" They shouted. Omi went red in the face.
"It wasn't me!"
"Yeah, right. We have noses, you know." One kid said. Above them, maniacal laughter broke out. Ron looked up, and most others followed suit.
"PEEVES!!!" He shouted angrily, as Peeves took off for his next target.
Ken Hidaka was a very happy individual. He could take this whole school thing. Studying potions? MUCH better than partial fractions. More use for them, too. Maybe he could forgive Persia for making him go to school again.
It was his first day here and he already found people to teach him the sports played here and maybe even give him a spot on their team! This much luck just wasn’t natural. He grabbed his dark green bath poof and began working to scrub the gravy of his body.
Now Ken doesn’t normally sing in the shower, but today was just so perfect that he felt the need to top it off with a nice song.
Peeves winced as badly pronounced English floated through the other new student’s bathroom. Obviously the kid hadn’t practiced his English enough. Peeves grinned as he cast the spell to amplify Ken’s singing all over campus.
Yohji picked up one of his books he had scattered around his room and stumbled over to the window.
"Where’s the screeching cat?"
"I've done my sentence but committed no crime
And bad mistakes I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through and we mean to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions, m-PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVES!!!!!!!!!!!"
Once some of the sleep was shaken out of his head, it occurred to him just what he was hearing. "Oh, poor Ken. What a lousy prank for Peeves to start off the school year with..."
Yohji covered his eyes with his hand as if that would make the memory go away. "Perhaps I could give him lessons in English?"
Aya frantically searched all over his new room for his favorite boxers the following morning. It was the first day of his teaching and he needed all the luck his boxers could bring. These weren’t just ANY boxers! No! His sister had given them to him for Valentine’s Day and there was just such a wonderful feeling about all those cheery red hearts on the white background. See, while everyone thinks he’s just a very boring and uptight individual, he’s actually showing his happy side with his boxers... but very few know about this side of Aya - he tries to conceal his boxers to the best of his ability.
Unsuccessful, he finally fell onto his second favorite pair which fortunately was just washed. His name brand Joe Boxer boxers. There’s just something so comforting about knowing there are all these smiling yellow dots all over them!
When Aya finally made it down to the Great Hall for breakfast, everyone was in an uproar. Everyone but Yohji that was, he was evidently still sleeping. Would he ever NOT sleep in? Floating in the ‘sky’ of the Great Room were someone’s boxers.
Schuldig was rocking back and forth in laughter and Crawford was reclined back, a slight smile gracing his face.
Dumbledore was standing up, trying to restore order. He floated the boxers down to the teacher’s table.
"Would the proud owner of these boxers please come forth and reclaim them sometime today? And the culprits please come and turn themselves in?"
Aya really hoped his face wasn’t currently matching his hair color.
Peeves of course chose that moment to show up again.
"Nice boxers, Professor Fujimiya!"
The Headmaster raised his eyebrow as everyone in the Great Hall who heard that turned to look at Aya.
"Guess that answers all of those questions, now doesn’t it?"
The next moment everyone’s attention was diverted away from Aya as soon as it registered that some sort of...creature...was advancing towards the grinning Peeves.
Yohji prided himself on having a good joke, in fact, he was the one who taught Ron’s older brothers many of the secrets to successful gags and tricks that they now knew, but this was going too far! NO ONE pulls a joke on Kudou Yohji.
It had started out like a good day until Yohji noticed that his shampoo was not its normal white bubbly self. In fact...it looked green. More specifically, that really ugly green that grandmothers try to make sweaters out of. Actually, his hands and his shoulders looked somewhat green too, for that matter.
Which brings us back to the present as Yohji, with ugly green hair and ugly green skin stalked behind Peeves.
In light of Aya’s previous embarrassment, this kind of made him feel real good. At least compared to Yohji now. He couldn’t help it. The smiling yellow dots were trying to take over his face! All of a sudden...he grinned. Peeves had REALLY gotten Yohji were it counted.
Ken cleared his throat. "Kudou-sensei..."
"Ken-kun, never sing again. Now stop distracting me."
"Demo, Yohji-kun...just what CAN you do to a ghost?"
END PART 3