The Laws of Weiß Kreuz

Ever notice that there are some things in Weiß that keep happening, no matter how logical or illogical they may seem? So did I. In fact, I came up with 14 pretty good ones. (the 15th one isn't mine.) They're like the laws of physics for the world of Weiß Kreuz. So I wrote them up that way! Enjoy!

The Laws of Weiß Storytelling.

• One's accuracy when firing a weapon at a member of Weiß is inversely proportional to the speed at which said Weiß member is charging at one, as well as the degree to which the weapon belonging to said Weiß member is exposed.

• The amount of blood lost through an injury is inversely proportional to the severity of said injury in any episode of the series. When one is watching Verbrechen or Strafe, the amount of blood lost is DIRECTLY proportional to the severity of the injury.

• Any woman or girl that any member of Weiß falls in love with will always be utterly unatainable.

• The effect of the cheeziness of pick-up lines is negligible when one is trying to pick up women, when one is Yohji.

• The degree that any Weiß bish is liked is proportional to the absolute value that said bish would be liked in real life, notwithstanding the Kawaii factor.

• The Kawaii Factor: The degree that any Weiß bish under 18 is liked is directly proportional to the extent of the kawaiines exhibited by said bish.

• Any and all organized crime in Tokyo can unvariably be traced back to Takatori Reiji and/or Esset.

• Compatibility of characters is negligible when writing WK Yaoi fanfic.

• Popularity of a WK Yaoi pairing is inversely proportional to the likelihood of said pairing actually occuring.

• Every foreign character speaks fluent japanese, but has trouble making a coherent sentence in their native tongue.

• The probability of having any loose plot thread tied is inversely proportional to the number of episodes left in that half of the series you're currently watching.

• Any and all UNorganized crime in Japan can be traced back to Takatori Reiji and/or Esset.

• Any character which has suffered some childhood trauma will not age beyond that point, either physically or mentally.

• The degree to which any outfit looks good on any Weiß bish is proportional to the absolute value of the degree of the stylishness exhibited by said outfit in reality. ( A really cool outfit looks cool, but so does a gawd-awful one.)

• Murphy's Law! Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the most inopportune time.