April 18, 1998 I've been racking my brain for days over what I could possibly talk about. I haven't been working because of Spring Break. So, there was nothing in that spectrum. Besides that, what is there? Hmmmm....finally, in the last couple of days stuff has been happening. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but a hobby I have taken up is genealogy and I have been finding out all sorts of interesting stuff. One of my many uncles contacted a distant cousin who has kept up with the Shattuck line of genealogy. She sent him some information and he copied it and sent it to mom & I. I sorted through the charts (which took forever) and confirmed what I had heard. Our ancestors were royals. Namely, Henry I-III and Edward's I-III, etc. Well, I got more information off the net (isn't it grand?) and found that we go all the way back to Charlemagne. If only I could trace some other lines of the family back that far. Right now though, I'm sick of genealogy and don't want to look at it for a while. Today, since the folks are in Savannah with family that came to visit, I got on my bike, first time since I've been sick, and rode around town. I finally saw a movie. That only means I need to update my movie reviews (later--not tonight). I saw L. A. Confidential at the Dollar show (well $2, but who is counting?). I think I'm one of the few who hadn't seen it. Then I shot over to the music store and picked up a CD (Chely Wright). I listened to it when I got home and tried to sing along, but I'm still so congested that it was almost impossible. All singing did was make me cough. I need to keep taking cough medicine until I'm completely over this infection. (I took my last dose of anti-biotic though =)). In other news, I got 2 great emails this week. The first one was the best so I'll mention it last =). Today one visitor I had invited me to join a new Poetry Swap she has started up. She also mentioned that she was impressed by the changes I have made. I feel pretty proud of all the work I've been doing and that was just a nice warm fuzzy to add to it. I've joined the Swap though and it seems I'm the second member. We'll see what happens next. The greatest email I got was from a suicide survivor page that added me as a link. Apparently someone visited my site (upon their suggestion) and told that person that my pages helped him a lot. That made me feel so good about what I'm doing here!! My goal was to help at least one person and it seems I have. I got to keep it up. Not only is this good therapy for me, but maybe it is good therapy for someone else. Speaking of therapy (nice segue, huh?), I saw Victoria last Friday. She seemed to be impressed about how well I'm doing. I didn't have anything major going on at home to discuss so I was not in my regular crying mood. But, it could be because I feel as though my self-esteem is on the rise. Victoria and I are doing a lot of work in building it up and I think it is working. Instead of letting other's opinions shape my decisions, I'm starting to ignore them instead or second guess them more. I just need to keep doing that. That is part of the reason I am where I am today. I was so busy trying to be someone I thought everyone thought I should be, I wasn't being myself. It was too much pressure and confusing because I wasn't happy. Now I'm happier. I still feel the pressure at times, but I'm learning now to let it roll off my shoulders. So, I guess I did have something to talk about. =)