February 2, 1998 Well, I am finally adding a journal. It took a while to decide to do this, and I couldn't have picked a better time. A lot has been going on. I started seeing a new psychotherapist, Victoria. While I liked Caroline, she wasn't doing me any good. I wasn't getting ANYTHING from it, and she wasn't pushing me to do more--something I need. She also comes from a cognitive-behavioral approach, which I feel would have no impact on me. Anyhow, Victoria comes from a object-relations approach. Psychodynamic. At first I was a little hurt and mad at her when I left. I felt like I was on the defensive and that she had attacked me personally. Now that I look back, I realize I am just extra-sensitive to criticism, especially when I saw her. When I saw her I was going through some major PMS. Suicidal thoughts, which I have trained to negate, were coming in swarms. I knew what was going on and once my cycle started I rebounded. The only reason I'm concerned is because I haven't had this problem since I started on Zoloft. I think it has to do with the cut-back on the Zoloft since I was diagnosed Bipolar II (hypomanic). So, when I see Victoria again next week, I will bring it up and my concerns. She might want me to see Sanchez sooner than March. Today I went for a teaching interview and it didn't go well at all. I interviewed fine and all, but because I'm only certified in Psychology, they won't hire me. I need to have another subject area to be certified in before I can interview again. I am only lacking 9 to 12 hours in history to have a social studies certification. So, I am looking into signing up for summer courses, and possibly fall. The tuition isn't too bad and if I'm subbing, I'll be able to afford it and books. I will be able to substitute. I just need to go back and interview again. That was silly, but whatever works. In other news, a gal named Mary called me about the local KU chapter of the alumni association. She wanted to know if things were going to be moving in time for the Tournament (NCAA). I was so excited someone called and asked me about it!! =) So, now I have her helping me to kick things off. I've put together a letter to send out to all local alumns. She is finding a sports bar where we can meet for the games. I can't wait to meet some people my age.