March 22, 1998 Amazingly, I didn't think things could get worse--they HAVE. Yesterday I woke up feeling miserable. I took my temperature and I had a 100 degree fever. It got up to 102.5 degrees during the day. This morning my fever was up to 103.7 degrees. Fun stuff, huh? I think my fever is trying to break now. I've been having the sweats for the last 2 hours. Oh well. Looks like I will see the doc tomorrow. Otherwise, things are okay. I really enjoy subbing. The kids can be pains, but usually they are pretty adorable--elementary school. I'm thinking about going back to school, half-time, to pick up the 24 credits I need to teach elementary ed. I prefer 3rd to 5th graders. They still love school, but they are old enough to behave and don't have more energy than I do. =) In other news, Tamara is coming out this week. I haven't mentioned this before on my page because I wanted to be certain everything was going to happen. A while back, in November, a story scout from Glamour magazine stumbled upon my page. Anyhow, they contacted me about being part of a story on the after-effects of suicide attempts. I think I'm a main feature of the article, but I'm not positive. Well, the magazine finally approved the article and now the reporter, Tamara, is supposed to be here Wednesday and Thursday to interview me and my family. Wednesday night she is going to take me out to dinner. I'm excited, but nervous as well. I wonder how things will go. I've read some of the work Tamara has done in the past and she is a great writer. I'm confident there. What I'm nervous about is the response I might get from readers of the magazine. What I hate hearing most is (1) "How could you do that to your family?"---I didn't do it TO them, I did it TO me; and (2) "Well, this is God's sign that you need to go to church and praise Jesus" -- or some version of that. On the latter response, I can't talk to people because I'm not religious. I have problems with religion as a whole. I'm a spiritualist. I believe in a higher power, who I am willing to call God, but that is all. A lot of people don't understand or choose not to understand. Enough of that. Well, I think I will lay down again. I'm getting awfully tired.