Sluggy One Liners

The Quotable

Okay, so not all of these are entirely quotable, but they are some of my favourite one-liners from what is arguably the greatest comic strip that is on the web. By turns funny, punny, spoofy and dramatic, what is there not to love about a goofball with a heart of gold, his technophile-borderline-psychotic best friend, a hyperactive ferret, a host of beautiful young women with issues and a switchblade-wielding minilop with 'tude? Confused? Click on the Sluggy link at the bottom of the page. Want to see these one-liners in context? Follow the links below! Sluggy is a serial comic though, so if you don't get the context, it helps to go back to the beginning of that storyline. Be warned. Even small doses of Sluggy can be addictive.

Yes! Spam Satan!
Let me check my notes.
*Ka-click!*
I'm going to have to hurt you on principle.
Judge not lest me judge you a new butt-hole, buddy!

Zoe, you are breaking my hand! I'm going to need this hand to fight of hordes of undead! Let go!!
Stay good, Sam! Stay good!
This is the world, and this is you. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID... Any questions?
Muldy, do you actually think about what you are saying, or is it an improvisational game of mad libs that you play in your head?
No fair! I was distracted by random gunfire!
I need attention from someone I don't care about to keep caring about those who don't care about me.
"Ferret-Shock"
I don't know what scares me more, the thought of actually having an affair with Val, or the fact that I derive my morals from tabloid talkshows.
Why would he want to microwave goodness?
Ahhh! I'm burning with goodness again!
Mom, I couldn't study for finals because I had to help rescue a friend from Hell, and send his body double to another dimension.
"Evil Technology and Worldly Ways, 5 cents."

I never act paranoid. It draws attention from the "Evil 5" who control the world.
Note to self: be careful chewing through support beams in future.
I'm sick of democracy getting in the way of my plans.
After I get the rod back, where do I shove it, or is that my call?
Could you hold on a minute? My secretary just exploded.
I really should stop being so honest with clients.

I think of Torg as a friend. A brother. My desire to punch Val in the head is more like a hobby.
The undead always pay their balances off in full.
Wanna sell your soul to the devil like I did?
See you guys when your survival instincts kick in.
Aw, is the demon gonna cry? Cry, demon, cry!
Why are the cute ones always insane?
Commence simultaneous panic on my mark...
And thus the serenity runs away from me faster than a blind date.
Game called on account of naked chick.
The bullets are just his way of saying, "Keep it down, I've got a hangover."
When Sam thinks you're stupid and pathetic, it's "life re-evaluation time"!

These lightweights just can't hold their evil.
There are just so many reasons to run for my life, I'm having trouble settling on just one!
Sorry about the electromagnetic pulse.
Don't you release that electromagnetic pulse! Don't you... WORN!
It was the kitten that killed them! Keep away from the kitten!
Bad kitty! Give me my crudely fashioned weapon back!
Poor little kids of Satan!
A grown man punting a kitten who was looking the other way... It was the bravest thing I've ever seen.
Gee, Zoe! Sorry your boyfriend got eaten by kittens!
Sorry, my angst-train derailed for a minute there. Die, Kizke, DIE!
The bread says TOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAST.
"Oh," God says, "A challenge!"
A pickaxe is worth a thousand words.
I'm going to KILL Gwynn! No. Wait. I was the one who picked this outfit. Can't kill myself... I know! I'll kill Riff! I can always kill Riff!
I never win solitaire because I'm a people person.
I love a win-acceptable-win situation.
When I said "Run!", I meant in circles! Weeee!
Part of me wants to say, "I don't want to know", but I DO! I really, REALLY DO!!!
At least your current attire is better than that chicken diaper you had on.
You may oppress my corporeal self, but my spirit-crotch is soaring!

Darn. My shadow doesn't unleash anything on me.
You're starting to grow on me, Riff. A HREF="http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=020612" target="_sluggy">Quit it.
Retreat the other way!!!!!!
You're a few pikachus short of a pokemon, aren't you?
But you've lost sight of the fact that it is our weenieness that makes us human!
Go ahead! Lick my head! It might bring your memories back if you just lick my head!!!"
A path to knowing myself. I guess this path is as good as any.
A powerful guy needs a powerful wedgie.
And house Wunnybun, because we like keeping all our bad guys in one place for simplified management.
Mis-teeeeer-ious! :::wiggles fingers:::
I'm waiting for my vertebrae to realign.
SOGGY KITTEN STAMPEDE!!!!!!!!
GRAVITATIONAL DART NINJAS!!!!!!!
Ze Smegvay is a segue to my greater design.
YOU SAYING I ITCH CHEESE???
Fear the Groundhog's Shadow!!
Gwynn, there's a hand crank on in the back! Turn it two thousand times! HURRY!!!
Ninja Brain-Chucks! Kawham!!! Okay, more a wet slappity. Wet Slappity of Doom!!!
There can only be Bun!
"Something you should learn, Shamus. Love conquers fear."
"Ah, but a heavy, blunt object trumps both, laddy."
Not the buckshot of lust!!!
I got no blissh if I can't dis, yo.

NOTE: The yellow Post-ItTM Portrait drawings above are my own fan art of most of the major characters from the strip. For those fans that stumble across this site, yes, I realize that Aylee isn't among them. It's not that I don't love her. I do. I just can't draw her. Plus she's had so many forms already that she would deserve a page of her own. If I could draw her...
Oh, and the blue picture of Torg looking all heroic in the squeeky-toy jacket is by the one and only Pete. It's my all-time favourite panel from the strip. Read the "Kitten II" story line to see it in context.

Worship the comic.

NB: Sluggy Freelance is a creation of Pete Abrams. All characters and quotes are copyrighted to him. This is just my version of a fanpage, and is not endorsed by Sluggy Freelance. These quotes compiled by me from Sluggy since 1997. Ongoing.

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	Yes! Spam Satan! Let me check my notes. Ka-click! I'm going to have to hurt you on principle. Judge not lest me judge you a new butt-hole, buddy! Zoe, you are breaking my hand! I'm going to need this hand to fight of hordes of undead! Let go!! Stay good, Sam! Stay good! This is the world, and this is you. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID... Any questions? Muldy, do you actually think about what you are saying, or is it an improvisational game of mad libs that you play in your head? No fair! I was distracted by random gunfire! I need attention from someone I don't care about to keep caring about those who don't care about me. "Ferret-Shock" I don't know what scares me more, the thought of actually having an affair with Val, or the fact that I derive my morals from tabloid talkshows. Why would he want to microwave goodness? Ahhh! I'm burning with goodness again! Mom, I couldn't study for finals because I had to help rescue a friend from Hell, and send his body double to another dimension. "Evil Technology and Worldly Ways, 5 cents."
	I never act paranoid. It draws attention from the "Evil 5" who control the world. Note to self: be careful chewing through support beams in future. I'm sick of democracy getting in the way of my plans. After I get the rod back, where do I shove it, or is that my call? Could you hold on a minute? My secretary just exploded. I really should stop being so honest with clients. I think of Torg as a friend. A brother. My desire to punch Val in the head is more like a hobby. The undead always pay their balances off in full. Wanna sell your soul to the devil like I did? See you guys when your survival instincts kick in. Aw, is the demon gonna cry? Cry, demon, cry! Why are the cute ones always insane? Commence simultaneous panic on my mark... And thus the serenity runs away from me faster than a blind date. Game called on account of naked chick. The bullets are just his way of saying, "Keep it down, I've got a hangover." When Sam thinks you're stupid and pathetic, it's "life re-evaluation time"!
	These lightweights just can't hold their evil. There are just so many reasons to run for my life, I'm having trouble settling on just one! Sorry about the electromagnetic pulse. Don't you release that electromagnetic pulse! Don't you... WORN! It was the kitten that killed them! Keep away from the kitten! Bad kitty! Give me my crudely fashioned weapon back! Poor little kids of Satan! A grown man punting a kitten who was looking the other way... It was the bravest thing I've ever seen. Gee, Zoe! Sorry your boyfriend got eaten by kittens! Sorry, my angst-train derailed for a minute there. Die, Kizke, DIE! The bread says TOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAST. "Oh," God says, "A challenge!" A pickaxe is worth a thousand words. I'm going to KILL Gwynn! No. Wait. I was the one who picked this outfit. Can't kill myself... I know! I'll kill Riff! I can always kill Riff! I never win solitaire because I'm a people person. I love a win-acceptable-win situation. When I said "Run!", I meant in circles! Weeee! Part of me wants to say, "I don't want to know", but I DO! I really, REALLY DO!!! At least your current attire is better than that chicken diaper you had on. You may oppress my corporeal self, but my spirit-crotch is soaring!
	Darn. My shadow doesn't unleash anything on me. You're starting to grow on me, Riff. A HREF="http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=020612" target="_sluggy">Quit it. Retreat the other way!!!!!! You're a few pikachus short of a pokemon, aren't you? But you've lost sight of the fact that it is our weenieness that makes us human! Go ahead! Lick my head! It might bring your memories back if you just lick my head!!!" A path to knowing myself. I guess this path is as good as any. A powerful guy needs a powerful wedgie. And house Wunnybun, because we like keeping all our bad guys in one place for simplified management. Mis-teeeeer-ious! :::wiggles fingers::: I'm waiting for my vertebrae to realign. SOGGY KITTEN STAMPEDE!!!!!!!! GRAVITATIONAL DART NINJAS!!!!!!! Ze Smegvay is a segue to my greater design. YOU SAYING I ITCH CHEESE??? Fear the Groundhog's Shadow!! Gwynn, there's a hand crank on in the back! Turn it two thousand times! HURRY!!! Ninja Brain-Chucks! Kawham!!! Okay, more a wet slappity. Wet Slappity of Doom!!! There can only be Bun! "Something you should learn, Shamus. Love conquers fear." "Ah, but a heavy, blunt object trumps both, laddy." Not the buckshot of lust!!! I got no blissh if I can't dis, yo.