Fun stuff!
Written by Kat Lai
This is all poetry that I had a lot of fun writing. I sometimes wish that I had the courage back then to give a copy of these poems to the teachers that inspired them.
The Confused Student
Dedicated to all the teachers and profs I ever had and ever will have
I gaze across the room at you;
I know you have a lot to share.
Although I do not understand,
I feel the words that linger there.Your words go deep into my soul,
Your knowledge, deep within my heart.
I know someday I'll understand.
With luck, before my exams start!
-October 1992
First Impressions of a Teacher
Inspired by and dedicated to Mr. Hay, my Social Studies Teacher in Grade 11 and 12.
"Class, I want you to know that I have no prejudices. I hate you all equally."
The classroom is deadly still
Not a student dares to move
As he studies the class with
piercing eyes
People begin to sweat
Even though they know they never did anything wrong
But the look in his eyes
Would be enough to make them
believe they had
Over the classroom
Silence presses down
Like the claws of an eagle
Suffocating its preySuddenly he speaks
His voice rising and falling on the winds
Floating
Soaring
Then finally resting upon
The students' ears
No one dares to sleep
No one dares to dream
For surely if they did
He would swoop down upon themYet one cannot help but notice
The wisdom of the world in his eyes
Those eyes that pierce
That glint with evil
And yet can also be gentle
As a mother who watches
over her eaglets
He raises his head
triumphant
Again he has won
The class has learned a lesson
Which will not soon be forgotten
The bell rings
Wilted and defeated
Yet full of new knowledge
The class walks out
Under the steely eyes
Of an eagle
-September 1992
PHYSICS...*sigh*
1st year University Physics course. 3:00 am. 5th assignment of the year.
Question 2 out of 10. Due the next day. Need I say more?
Doing Physics ain't so happy
When you're feeling kind of crappy;
Like you want to pound the door,
Saying, "What the hell is all this for?"
It's not like I will ever use it,
Well, not the electronics whozit,
And nothing wants to come out right;
The answer is right out of sight!
It doesn't match the ones the sages
Wrote here in the back-most pages.
I feel like I could scream and beat
The text and throw it in the street,
Then follow it with all my notes;
These theorems, forces, pictures, quotes,
And all the little dumb equations
That have caused such strange vibrations
In the medulla of my brain
Causing me such intense pain,
That one day I will have a room
Deep within a cushioned tomb,
With a little jacket strait
To keep me from deciding my fate,
Or worse yet, with a sudden start,
I will find myself here studying Arts!
-October 1996
Forty Below
Written in Grade 6 in the dark of a Calgary winter while waiting
for my 7:00 am bus to school.
Out in the school yard, the children are shivering;
Even in ski jackets, shaking and quivering.
The snow is piled high, 'bout a metre or so.
It gets like that sometimes at forty below.The wind bites your cheeks and nips off your nose,
It messes your hair, then it grows and it GROWS!
It rises and shrieks, then -WHISK- it would go!
But it always returns when it's forty below.Then out we all rush in our snow pants and all,
Feeling for sure that we'd all have a ball.
But one by one, back inside we would go,
'Cause it's too cold to play when it's forty below.
-November 1988
Song of the Little Sister
You know, there are times when I wished I had a sibling. Someone who'll annoy me, who I can
annoy, fight with, play with. Moms aren't great replacements. They always have to win. Or
else you're grounded for a week.
I saw Amber kissing Marty!
Oh, it was a funny sight!
I was spying on her party
In the middle of the night.They laughed and had a lot of fun
Not knowing I was there,
But when they heard of what I'd done,
They chased me up the stair!
-December 1988
Limericks
There once was a boy named Grant
Who purposef'lly stepped on an ant.
It started to rain,
While he roared with pain
When he got a thrashing from his aunt.
There once was a boy named Nat
Who was so enormously fat,
When he sat in a chair,
His house wasn't there,
And his neighbourhood was squashed flat!
There once was a lady from Poland
Who found all her things had been stolen.
She screamed blue murder.
Australia heard her!
To the whole world her story was toland.(told)
A Man from Nantucket (no, not the rude one)
There lives an old man in Nantucket
Who keeps a large duck in a bucket.
He'll keep it, they say,
Until Thanksgiving Day
When he'll feed it, and fatten it, then...
pluck it.
Haikus
Waves in their fury
Hurl themselves against the rocks
Breaking when they hit
Glory of the lakes
The glory of the mountains
Ruined by rubbish heaps
Parodies
The Ski Bunny Song
Special thanks to Soy for the inspiration of the first line way,
way, way back when. Wonder if she still remembers that ski trip?
(Sung to the tune of "Blowing in the Wind", if any of you
remember how that goes.)
How many times must a man fall down
Before he learns how to ski?
Yes'n how many runs can a girl speed down
Without ending up in a tree?
Yes'n how many beds must I lie in
With a broken wrist and dislocated knee?The answer my friend is face down in the snow
The answer is face down in the snowHow many times must I look up
To see stars dance before my eyes?
Yes'n how long do you think it will take till I learn
That skis can't actually fly?
Yes'n when do you think I'll be able to start
Without thinking, "Oh God, I'm gonna die"?The answer my friend is face down in the snow
The answer is face down in the snowHow many people will I run into
While skidding down on my rear?
Will it be so many that they'll clear the runs
Every time they learn that I'm near?
Not that I won't give them a proper alarm
Screaming loudly for everyone to hear.And now here I lie, face down in the snow
Yes, once again I'm face down in the snowOh, now here I lie, face down in the snow
Stop laughing and help me out of the snow.
-February 1992
some minor changes, April, 2003
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Dec. 6/89
© Kat Lai, 2002.
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