Expansion Scene: Jane and Andy Ladd III

Inspired by references in "LOVE LETTER" by A. R. Gurney By Kat Lai (July 6, 2000)

(December, about a week before Christmas. Slides show on the background of the different members of the LADD FAMILY as mention of them comes up from the Christmas letter read aloud by ANDY.) ANDY: "Dear Friends: Jane tells me that it's about time I took a crack at the annual Christmas letter, so here goes. Let's start at the top, with our quarterback, Jane herself, who never ceases to amaze us all. Not only has she continued to be a superb mother to our three sons, but she has also managed to commute into the city and hold down a part-time job in the gift shop at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Furthermore, she is now well on her way to completing a full-fledged master's degree in Arts Administration at SUNY Purchase. More power to Jane, so say we all. We are also proud of all three boys. Young Drew was soccer captain at Exeter last fall, and hopes to go on to Yale. Nicholas, our rebel in residence, has become a computer genius in high school, and has already received several tantalizing offers for summer jobs from local electronics firms. We all know that it's tougher to place our youngsters in meaningful summer employment that to get them into Harvard, so we're very proud of how fare Nick has come. Ted, our last but in no way our least, now plays the clarinet in the school band at Dickinson Country Day. Since Jane and I are barely capable of singing 'You Are My Sunshine' without going disastrously flat, when we hear him produce his dulcet sounds, we look at each other 'in a wild surmise'. We recently bought the family summer place from my brother and sister, and hope to spend as much time as we can there, gardening, relaxing, and as the boys say, 'generally veging out'. Jane and I have become killers on the tennis court, and hereby challenge all comers. If any of our friends are in the Adirondack area this summer, we expect telephone calls, we expect visits, we expect elaborate house presents. I've enjoyed very much serving on the State Legislature. We've proposed and written a number of bills, and we've won some and lost some. All my life I've had the wish to do something in the way of public service, and it has been a great pleasure to put that wish into practice. For those of my friends who have urged me to seek higher office, let me simply say that I have more than enough challenges right here where I am. Jane and the boys join me in wishing each and all of you a Happy Holiday Season." * MELISSA replies: MELISSA: (VO) "Dear Andy. If I ever get another one of those drippy Xeroxed Christmas letters from you, I think I'll invite myself out to your ducky little house for dinner, and when you're all sitting there eating terribly healthy food and discussing terribly important things and generally congratulating yourselves on all your accomplishments, I think I'll stand up on my chair, and turn around, and moon the whole fucking family!" * (As she reads, JANE comes in with the mail and opens the letter to Andy from Melissa. She reads it, her face going from insult to outrage. She calls Andy onto the carpet.) JANE: Andy! ANDY: Yes, dear? JANE: Look at what your "friend" wrote! Just look! After we were tactful enough to include her to our Christmas mailing list! And this is what she thinks? What on earth kind of woman is this? ANDY: (reads the letter and chuckles a bit) That Melissa... JANE: "That Melissa?" That's all you can say? I cannot believe that you'd take this so lightly! This woman is being deliberately rude...arrogant...insulting... ANDY: Jane, I've told you so many times about this. Melissa doesn't like pretence, or smugness especially from old friends. And you know, she's right. That letter was a bit pretentious. JANE: Pretentious? Just because we're telling our friends and acquaintances what we've been doing for the last year? That's pretentious? ANDY: Well, thinking back, I mean, we sort of glossed over a few of the bad things that have been happening, and that bit about not wanting to run for Senate was rather untrue. And a little hypocritical because of that... JANE: What do you want to do? Tell the world our problems with Nicky? Let people see you as a hovering vulture over Mr. O'Hara's back? We agreed that we wouldn't say anything until we knew that you had a chance. And as for the boys, don't we want them to be remembered as upstanding ? ANDY: Melissa is an old friend. She deserves better than a bunch of lies. She's always told me her ambitions and problems, and for me to go on about how wonderful everything for us when we know it's not is rude and condescending. JANE: So what, you want to write her a separate, "real", "genuine" letter because she's special and so different? ANDY: I did want to, but you stuffed and posted all the envelopes before I had a chance! JANE: That does not excuse this awful letter! ANDY: This (waves the letter) is the way she is. This is how she reacted to the letter and what she would've said in person. I mean, let's face it. I kind of deserved that. Relax, honey. JANE: Relax? After seeing her refer to us in such a manner? And whether you deserved it or not, that is insulting and downright rude. I will not stand for that kind of language or behaviour, or... threat of that kind of behaviour in this house. What if she actually does come over and does this? ANDY: Jane, you can't seriously think that she... JANE: Oh, wouldn't that be lovely if the kids saw that! What an example! ANDY: She is not going to do this. Jane, stop over-reacting! JANE: Over-reacting? I am NOT over-reacting. I am merely telling you that I don't like the tone of this letter, and I don't want anything like it darkening my door again. ANDY: Jane... JANE: No. This is OUR house, and I'd like to think I have some say as to what comes into OUR house. And I will not allow this kind of letter to come in here. A letter that is insulting, disrespectful of me, of you... ANDY: (looks at the envelope) This letter is addressed to me, honey. It doesn't refer to you at all. How can a letter that does not even refer to you be disrespectful to you? JANE: The Christmas letter is my idea, Andy. Her reply was completely directed at me. I mean, she's been snubbing and brushing me off in every letter she writes to you, or have you been too enthralled with her to notice that? ANDY: I hardly think that's the case, dear. She writes to me because she knows and is comfortable with me. JANE: And what about what's comfortable for me? ANDY: You don't have to read these, you know. They are addressed to me, not you. In fact, maybe it would be better for you not to read them at all. JANE: Considering the character of her letters to you thus far, I feel better knowing what's going on between you. ANDY: This again? There's nothing going on! We're old friends! No more! Christ, how many times do I have to say that for you to believe me? JANE: Well, considering that no matter how many times I asked, you would never tell me anything about her or her letters... Being so secretive about the whole thing... ANDY: It's not secretive, but Melissa has...problems sometimes, Jane. I don't think she would appreciate other people hearing about them. Particularly since she doesn't know you very well. JANE: Well, has she ever tried? She's never come down here despite numerous invitations. And she refuses to acknowledge me as a part of your life. ANDY: She... JANE: Never asks about your children, and never asks about me except once when she made a point of forgetting my name. She's jealous, Andy. She can't stand that I managed to marry you before she could get her little claws into you. ANDY: Jane, she was married when I met you. JANE: And divorced by the time you married me. I'll bet that upset her, didn't it? Not having "her" man there when she was available again. ANDY: Jane, that's unfair. You don't know what she was thinking. You don't know why they divorced. You don't even know what she might have been going through. JANE: I don't need to. I can guess. From the way she decided not to come to the wedding. ANDY: She sent a present... A present that she made. JANE: From the way she's never come to call. From the way she writes only to you and never to the both of us. From the...the language of her letters... ANDY: Yes, so you've kept saying over and over... JANE: And the way you're always defending her! ANDY: Well, you're hardly being fair to her, Jane. JANE: Oh, and you're being fair to me? ANDY: Jane... JANE: No. No, no, no! I've tried to be patient and understanding about this. I've always respected and trusted you enough to let you continue writing to her after we were married because you said it meant so much to you. And she was your friend. And she's endured so much. And she needs a friend right now. And, and, and! But now, when you can see for yourself how little she thinks of our family... I'm putting my foot down! I don't want anything from her to ever come to this house again! And I want you to sit down and write her and tell her that! ANDY: Jane, Christ, it's almost Christmas. JANE: I don't care if it's almost doomsday! I don't care if she's your long lost twin sister or your great grandmother come back from the dead! I don't want you to stay in contact with someone who will not respect me, our family or our marriage. ANDY: Can't you even try to understand her? I don't want to abandon her like this. She needs all the friends she has. JANE: Why? Because she's a drunk? Because she can't even stay married for more than a week at a time? ANDY: She stayed married long enough to produce two daughters, Jane, and she has only been divorced once. JANE: Once is enough! Please, there's only a certain kind of woman who gets divorced, Andy. ANDY: Oh, don't go there, Jane! I am not going to argue with your church group again. She had a damn good reason to get divorced. Be easy on her, Jane. She's had a tough life. JANE: You know, I don't know what's worse. The fact that you will tolerate the way she treats me...treats US, or the fact that you are standing up for her against me. ANDY: You just don't know her the way I do. JANE: Oh, of course not! You grew up together, didn't you? You went out with her. And you're still in love with her despite everything she's done or said! ANDY: Jane... JANE: Every time she writes, and even sometimes when she doesn't, off you scamper to your study and jot off a nice, intimate, little letter to her like some obedient little puppy. ANDY: Writing letters has always been my idea, Jane. Always. I continue writing to her, because she is my friend. Because we've always written to each other. These letters are important to me. This has nothing to do with what she wants or what non-existent hold she has over me. JANE: (laughs) Please! If you'd never met me, you'd be married to her now! Wouldn't you? (pause.) Well? Wouldn't you? ANDY: Jane, for God's sake, just calm down! What she said was a joke and isn't even worth this kind of behaviour. Sure, things could be different if we'd never met; things could always be different some other way. But we did meet. And I married you. When it came to choosing a partner for life, who did I choose? You or her? (JANE is calms down a little. There is a small pause.) JANE: Andy, if you love me as much as you say you do, you will do this for me. (ANDY is silent.) I have respected you enough to let you write to her for all these years. All I want is for you to give me the same respect that I've given you. (ANDY does not respond.) I have put up with her long enough, Andy. I have tried to understand her situation, and endured her disrespect, but I won't take it any longer. Please write to her, Andy, and tell her that you don't want to hear from her anymore. That you won't be writing to her anymore. Tell her that. And you can tell her why. Out of respect for me. (ANDY is silent.) Please, Andy. ANDY: (sighs) Very well, Jane. I'll tell her never to write here again. You have my word. JANE: Thank you, Andy. (JANE kisses ANDY on the cheek and leaves. ANDY goes to the desk and pulls out some writing paper and a pen, and begins writing.) ANDY: (VO) "You're right. It was a smug dumb letter and I apologize for it. Jane normally writes it, and it sounds better when she does. I always felt better writing to just one person at a time, such as you. I guess what I was really saying is that as far as my family is concerned, we're all managing to hold our heads above water is this tricky world. Jane and I have had our problems, but we're comfortable with each other now, and the boys, for the moment, are out of trouble. Nicky seems to be off drugs now, and Ted is getting help with his stammer. Porgy, Jr., my old cocker, died, and I miss him too much to get a replacement. I'm thinking of running for the Senate next fall if O'Hara retires. What do you think? I'd really like your opinion. If you decide to answer this, you might write care of my office address. Jane has a slight tendency toward melodrama, particularly after she got a hold of your last little note." *

* The first two letters and the last one are taken from Love Letters by A.R. Gurney, and distributed by Dramatists Play Service Inc.. They are presented here only to give context to the scene.

 

 

Home

Stepping Stones

The Fountain

sKrATch Pad

Dec. 6/89

---

© Kat Lai, 2003, except the excerpts from "Love Letters" © 1989, by A.R. Gurney.
Please e-meow me if you have any comments or suggestions!

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook