The Phone Call

Written circa Jan. 1996 by Kat Lai

What if you called a wrong number and there was a person there with exactly the same name as the person you were looking for? And what if you decided to play a trick on a friend, making them think they called a wrong number with the above scenario? Let’s go a step further and extend it to the following situation: Hello? Oh! Um.. hi! May I speak to ... to ....ah....Richard, please? Speaking. Richard! Hi... This... uh... this is Marilu. Marilu! Hey! How are things going? ...Yeah! Things are going... yeah, they're going great! How... how about you? Great! Man, it's been ages, huh? Yeah... ages.... Man, what are you doing, calling here? Oh! Uh.... I... I just got back to town and I just thought I'd check up on my... uh.... my old friends. So... uh.... what's been happening with you? Oh, tons! I just started about a month ago with a computer company. Right now, I'm basically learning the ropes, but soon, I'll get to help out on the new program that will be coming out soon. I'm really excited! Um...Neat! Plus, I finally got my own place! My sister gave me a dog as a house-warming present. I'm really glad the land lady is letting me keep pets! Plus I've started working out again. I need to get back in shape in a really big way. We've got a soccer thing going with a bunch of guys in my complex and we play every weekend it doesn't rain. If it rains, we do the volleyball thing at the club. Great! That's... that's uh... really great! I mean, wow! You really are.. um... keeping busy, it sounds like! Sure am! So, how about you? Me? Oh, uh.... I just graduated with... um.... with my law degree and... Law degree? You? Wow, Mary, I never knew you had it in you! Um... yeah, I did. So right now, I'm just, uh, you know... searching.... for a job. Really? Hey! My company is looking for lawyers right now! Th...they are?? Yeah! What a coincidence! I'll say! Listen, why don't you send me your resume and I'll get it to them for you! Oh, s...uh.. sure! I guess one more resume in the fire doesn't hurt.... This is great. So what else has been happening? Happening? Oh, well, let's see.... I'm... ah.... I'm planning a rafting trip sometime soon with a bunch of friends, for the uh.. the long weekend... Rafting? Hey, that sounds cool! Yeah, well we've never done it before... I mean... most of us haven't, but well, new experiences, right? Yeah. You're lucky! I haven't done rafting in a dog's age! Man, I remember the last time I went. I almost drowned! I can sort of see why you never went again. Oh no, that wasn't the reason. I got stuck under the raft when it flipped, but I got out with a little help and a stretch of calm water. We kept going after, and it was a blast! No, I just haven't had time to go, and well, the people I went with don't live anywhere near me anymore... That's too bad. Hey listen, I know this is kinda rude and everything, but do you mind if I tag along on your rafting trip? I want to go again, and I'd love to see you! It's been years! Huh???? Um... uh.... well, I...I...I guess um... well... I guess my friends won't mind... I mean, sure, why not! New experiences! Yeah, well, it wouldn't be really, in my case. Oh, trust me. I mean, you never know. This might be REALLY new to you! Cool! Well, when you get the details ironed out, you'll have to let me know. Sure! Sure! I will. Yep, you can count on it. So, anything else happening to you? Anything ...else... hum, well.... Oh, uh... I.... I'm getting married next July. ...............You're what??? Getting... married. Yeah, well, he's a really nice guy, you know. We met at university and... But, I mean shit, Mary. What is this?? You were supposed to marry me! ....What? Don't you remember? We got engaged three years ago! You said when you got your degree....I mean, sure, at the time it wasn't law. Hell, that's the last thing I ever pictured you in! But still..... W..W...Wait a minute... Is this Richard? Richard.. uh... Whittaker? Yeah. Oh. Um... well... hmmm.... You're not Marilu Baker? No! No, I'm not Marilu Baker! But... I only know one Marilu! Oh, well, hmmm I... I guess that this is really something, huh? I mean wow! Imagine me getting the wrong number and there being another Richard Whittaker on the line! And him knowing another Marilu too! Yeah.... Well, I'm ah... I'm really sorry to have taken so much of your time... Hey, that's no problem. It's just a relief to know you're not the right Marilu. Yeah... well, nice talking to you. Yeah, nice meeting you too, Marilu. Yeah, same here! Bye. Bye. ****** Hello? Hi, is this Richard? Um... Richard Whittaker? Speaking. Hi, this is ... well, this is the wrong number from uh... yesterday? Huh? Oh, the other Marilu? Yeah. Listen. I'm really, really sorry about that... Hey, I said it was no problem. No, it is a problem, you see, I wasn't entirely honest with you. You weren't? Uh, no... You see... You are Marilu Baker, right? No, no! It's nothing like that! Mary! Why couldn't you have just told me straight up? Why did you have to do that song and dance, I mean.... No! Listen! I'm not Marilu Baker. That much is true! It's just that... well... okay, I didn't dial a wrong number. You didn't? Um... no. ......Is this some kind of sick joke? No...... You find out what you can about a guy and then you call him and see how long you can pull it off??? No! Listen... Well, you certainly hurt me, especially about that thing with Marilu! Listen! For a minute, I thought she had totally broken my heart. I hated her in that one brief moment, is that what you wanted to hear? You slandered her! Well, this may have been a silly little prank for you, but I suggest you watch your pranks from now on, okay?! 'Cause you really hit the mark there yesterday! Wait! .... Hello? Hello?????? Hello????? Damn! ***** Hello? Don't hang up! Please! Oh, god, you again? Do you ever give up?? No, please, you've got to listen to me! I'll tell you everything! Just please listen to me! Okay, fine. Shoot. Thank you. Okay, like I said just now before you hung up on me, I didn't call a wrong number. I.... well... I was bored, and well, I called my friend. She wasn't home, so I was sitting there, and I wondered what would happen if I dialed her number backwards. I never dreamed anyone would pick up! So you called a number not expecting to get an answer? Well, usually when I try stuff like that, I get a company or a "this number is not in service" or an answering machine. But when you answered yesterday, it completely threw me off balance, so I came up with a name off the top of my head... And when I said, "Speaking" you were completely thrown, right? ...Yeah, you might say that. That's funny! What are the probabilities of that happening, especially with a random phone call? So, I want to apologize for everything. Hey, that's not a problem. And... uh... look. If you still want to come rafting with me and my friends.... Well, I'm not going to know anyone at all, so I don't know... Well, like I said yesterday, it'll be a new experience! And how will you look showing up with someone you don't know? Oh, we can just come up with something. You know, we met at University or through a friend.... Yeah, you're really good at that, aren't you? Look, I said I'm sorry! And I said it's not a problem! Well, okay, why not? I don't do anything on weekends anyway. May as well get out of the house. You don't do anything on weekends? But... but what about that stuff about working out, soccer and volleyball... Oh, that? Well, you're not the only one who can do cock and bull stories! I didn't want Mary to think I don't have a life! I tried organizing a soccer game, but not enough people in my complex or at work were really interested. You see, I don't really know many people on this side of town, and... Well, that's all the more reason to come with us! You'll meet a lot of people! I guess. Okay, so we're meeting at Yorkdale Mall at 6:30 am on Saturday, near the Bay. Be sure to bring a lunch, and a ba... Wait... I'm new in town. Where's Yorkdale Mall? Oh, it's um... Look, why don't I pick you up? I could be by around 6 am if you live close or whatever. Well, my address is um... Give me a minute. I don't have it memorized yet... Actually, it's near Arrowsmith and Keele. Maybe you could pick me up at the corner? Okay! Bring a swimsuit, a lunch, and extra clothes and appropriate weather protection. Oh, and there's something else you should know before we go. What's that? My name isn't Marilu. It isn't? No. I um... came up with that at the top of my head too. So, when I started treating you like an old friend, you were caught a little off balance? Yeah, just a little. I mean, what are the chances of that happening? I call a number, someone answers, I make up a name, there's that person on the other end of the line, I make up another name, and she's an old friend. Actually, I have something to confess to. What? I have caller ID. I knew you weren't Marilu. What? You're Grace Hall, phone number: 489-6235. I was pulling your leg the entire time. But... In fact, I'm not engaged, and Marilu doesn't exist. But you blew up at me just now! Yeah, I know. That was kind of fun. But.... but... you... you..... And my name is Chris. But.. you.. I... Wait a minute. WHAT? Well, you called me first! And admit it, it was a crank call! ....!!!!!!........... Well, at least now we're even. You're... you're........ And you might say I was bored too. Yours was the first local call I've had besides my boss. God, I feel so dumb now! Good! And how about the stuff about being a graduate in law and finding a job and all that? The law thing is true! Well, okay, I haven't graduated yet. In fact, I just started. Uh huh.. And that whole thing about getting married? Okay, so I took a few liberties there too. But since you were supposed to be an old friend, I figured you'd be hap... In fact, how do I know your rafting trip is real too? How do I know you're not trying to pick me up? The rafting trip is real! I promise that! If you want, you can look up Yorkdale Mall on a map and drive down there at 6:30 and see if you don't see us all there with rafting gear and everything! Well, I dunno. I feel kind of hurt right now. I told you the truth about me, and all you told me was a pack of lies! The TRUTH? Oh, that's rich, Mr. CHRIS. Okay, okay, I'm being mean! It looks like we got off on a bad start anyway. Let's start over. Hi. My name is Chris Jacobs. I'm 26 and I have a B.Eng. and a Masters in Computer Programming. I'm a graduate of Waterloo University, and I just started working at a company in town. Oh, and just so you'll know me when we meet on Saturday: I have brown hair, brown eyes and am about five ten. Assuming you're still okay with picking me up? Well... I guess... but is it okay if we meet at the Tim Horton's on Eglinton and Dufferin instead? That's pretty close to you, and well, you know... Yeah, I understand. I stop there every morning, so I know where it is. Okay. Your turn. The truth now... Okay, fine! I'm Grace Hall. I'm 22 and I have a BA in Economics and have just started Law School at the University of Toronto. And NO, I'm not getting married, but I am organizing a rafting trip. Heh. And, well, since you shared... I have red hair and gray eyes and am about five-five. And I'll be driving a green Volvo. Happy? Yeah, that'll do for now. So I'll see you on Saturday? Sure thing, Grace. Nice talking to you again. Oh, and Grace? Yeah? Thanks. For putting up with that joke. And for inviting me out with your friends. Oh, hahaha. No problem! I'm just sorry I called like that in the first place, you know? I mean... Don't worry about it. It was nice meeting you. Sorta. Yeah. Nice...sorta...meeting you too! Bye. Bye.

 

 

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