I Saw Myself on TV Today

I saw myself on TV today.
I am the one with the perfect hair-- no grey, no split ends or no flyaways.
I am the one with the natural highlights-- the ones from a bottle, a spray.
I always smell baby powder fresh. Or is it petal fresh?
I am the one wearing a diaper no one can see.
I am the one wearing "wings".
I am the perfect woman-- eating only low-fat cereal.
My teeth are bleach-white, no cavities.
I floss and I brush.
No wrinkles will you find-- I "fight" my age.
A blemish? Eek! No...a lotion for that.
My children are perfect, blonde with 10 fingers and toes.
My house is always clean, my furniture new.
I am the one with the perky boobs, no hips, thighs or ass.
I am feminine with no feminine itching or odor.
My clothes are perfect, they match with no wrinkles.
I drink diet pop, eat diet foods, and Lean Cuisine.
I am always smiling, twirling, laughing-- preferably in a field of flowers.
EXCEPT when I am bloated and cramping-- of course there is a pill for that.
I am in charge of soft towels, fresh sheets and stain removal.
My makeup is perfect, my lipstick won't smug.
I have 20-20 vision or wear lenses, no glasses for me.
I don't sweat, I don't smell.
I have no heartburn or gas-- there are pills for that.
I have no corns, no bunions, no warts-- there are pads for those.
I lost 5 pounds in 5 days-- pills and liquid diets are my friends.
My skin is soft and supple.
I am the victim-- when am I the hero?
I am the comedian-- or am I the butt of your jokes?
I am a lover-- or am I just a whore?
I am straight, I am white.
When am I a woman? womyn?
When am I African, Asian...?
When am I short?
When am I fat?
When am I using a wheelchair?
When am I my age?
When am I human?
When am I me?
I saw myself on TV today.


I made this into a printable version so people could share this with friends. But remember that this poem was created by me and I deserve the credit. If you want to use it on a website, provide a link to this site. If you want to use it for any other purposes, give me the credit. Clover_Patch@mailcity.com I check my email often.


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