Money is one of the top three fight-starters in the average marriage, but it doesn't have to be that way. I am not an expert and I am not here to advise you on exactly how you spend your money. To the left are some links to places that will help you actually figure out a budget and things like that for your particular situation. (I can't verify their validity, though) Here we are talking about money in general terms of communication, marriage and common sense.

In terms of marriage money is one of the most gruesome problems a couple can face. There are studies that indicate up to 80% of couples seeking divorce indicate money problems as a main reason. Although many people think otherwise, as women we are generally keepers of the budget and defenders of the checking account. It is vitally important that we know what we are (or aren't) doing.

Women have long been categorized as the big spenders in relationships (oddly we are also categorized as the big givers as well) Even so, Larry Burket, a well-known financial advisor, believes that men are actually the culprits. He says, "On an impulse, a woman will buy too many clothes or too much food. On the same impulse, her husband may buy a boat, car, or airplane."

It is very important to keep track of where your money is going and how it is getting there. If you are upset with how your spouse is handling things, the first thing you need to do is remain calm and think through the situation. Don't try and talk with him if you are angry! Cool off and wait to deal with it when you are not seething.

Most couples, especially younger ones, start out on rough financial ground for obvious reasons. It seems like the younger you are the harder it is to get any where. The choices and mistakes made in the first years can haunt a couple forever. There are simple things couples can do to help prevent severe financial difficulties, and there are ways to hold up a marriage instead of tearing it down. Once again, communication is the key.

I heartily recommend that engaged couples (as a part of pre-marital counseling) talk in some detail about future budgeting plans. It is essential to get an idea of how your partner feels and how you feel about money and budgeting before diving right in. Every couple is different and there seem to be as many different financial situations as there are couples. Even so, there are general principals that apply to nearly everyone.

You will need a plan of action, aka a budget. I realize that this word is not a friendly one for many people. I believe that there are many misconceptions about budgeting. A budget is kind of like a plan of attack. Think of it like a recipe. For those of you who cook you know that a recipe must be followed to get the desired results. You should also know that most recipes can be altered to suit a person's taste as well. This is the same as a budget. You start out with your income, then your bills and then whatever is left over. Try going to Consumer Credit Counseling for starters. Look them up in your phone book. They are a free not for profit organization and they can help you figure out how to handle your money and give you a base for dealing with it on your own.

So far as staying out of debt goes there are a lot of ways to handle things so that you don't get in over your head. If you can only remember one thing I will tell you here, remember that the key is to decrease spending to fit your income. Avoid increasing your income to fit your spending patterns!

All to often, a couple starts out renting an apartment or something. Then they rent or rent-to-own furnishings for it. Then they go out and start payments on a car. After a while, they are drowning in debt. Then one partner either starts work or they both increase their hours. This should solve the problem only it doesn't. With the new surplus of money the couple realizes they can go ahead and move into a bigger place or start payment on a home or buy a second car. After a little while they are right back where they started, struggling to make ends meet.

If you have more bills then money at the end of the month, cut down on your spending. Sometimes you have no choice about making more money. You have to figure out a way to pay the bills. Once you have done that, don't add any more bills until you can handle it!

Take things a day at a time. If you find yourself with a few extra bucks at the end of the month, put it in a savings account. Keep your future in mind. Even if you start out dirt poor and on welfare, there are ways to save money and create a better future for yourself. Do what you can even if it only saves a little bit here and there. Having said all of that, let me add that you don't have to turn into a miser. Everyone needs a time out every once in a while and that is okay. Just don't go wild with it until you can afford to!