Okay, here goes. If you are reading this, I am assuming you are a Christian and need a little encouragement in your walk. Having sex is very tempting and it is all to easy to lose sight of what is important and do something you will regret later on. The Bible actually talks about sex a lot. There's a whole book about it, actually. Song of Solomon (aka Song of Songs) There are people who don't feel that this is about sex at all but there are quite a few verses that seem pretty explicit. For example:
Song of Songs 1:2 "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for your love is more delightful than wine" A lot of people seem to think that sex is absent from the Bible or at least forbidden. This is not the case! There is sex and then there is sexual immorality. Consider this, when God created the world, "it was good". Yet, after Adam and Eve were created the Bible says:
Genesis 2:24,25 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and they will become one flesh. The man and the woman were naked and felt no shame." (emphasis mine) There is nothing wrong with sexual feelings. There is nothing wrong with curiosity. When you really like someone and you see them a lot, it is perfectly natural to desire to become one with them in the most intimate way possible. Sex itself, as well as your sex drive, isn't wrong at all. It's like anything else, it isn't wrong until it is misused. You can build a house with a hammer and you can kill someone with the same hammer. Is the hammer good or bad? Perhaps it is not about the hammer but the intent. Likewise, the physical act of sex is not wrong, it is the context and intent behind it. Sexual immorality is a very special kind of sin.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 "Flee from sexual immorality, All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (emphasis mine) What constitutes sexual immorality? How do you know what time and situation is right for sex? Actually, it comes down to a very simple bottom line. If you are married, it is right and good to make love to your spouse and no one else.
Ideally, sex is a physical manifestation of an emotional and spiritual bond between a man and woman. It is a unique and wonderful way to express true love. Anything outside of that special purpose degrades and cheapens it. It's like water. Water is good and all of us get thirsty. What would you rather do, wait a little and drink out of the faucet or run into the bathroom and lick the toilet bowl dry?
I'm telling you this to try and help you understand what it means to have sex and what it means to wait. If you are a Christian and you honestly believe in what the Bible tells you, you have an obligation to yourself and to God to take a step back and think about where you're headed. If you believe that sex is okay if you really love each other then you are essentially saying the Bible is wrong. That is dangerous ground. If that is the case, you need to take time and evaluate how you are really feeling and why. After all, this is the destination of your soul we're talking about.
Here are some things the Bible says about sex. See if they match up with how you feel and where you are headed in your own life.
1 Corinthians 6:12-17 "'Everything is permissible for me' but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' - but I will not be mastered by anything....The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body...Do you not know that you are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute?"
1 Corinthians 7: 4 "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." (When you sleep with someone else you dishonor the union between yourself and your spouse. Perhaps even your spouse to be.)
1 Thessalonians 3:7 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;....For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit." (emphasis mine)
Proverbs 5: 15-20 (Use a little imagination for this one) "Drink running water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer -- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."
Proverbs 4:25-27 "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; keep your foot from evil."
There are so many more to look up. You could really go all out with this one. There is a lot to talk about. The basic idea is that having sex outside of marriage is wrong. It is not only wrong, it causes an awful lot of problems. (By the way, a new study validated what many have been saying all along, living together before marriage actually carries a higher divorce rate than just getting married.) You do not have to test for sexual compatibility! If you are attracted to each other you can figure out the rest. On top of premarital sex being wrong, it also exposes you to disease, severe heartbreak and low self esteem to name a few. The news flash is: God knew what He was talking about! It is actually easier and better for you to wait. Guaranteed.
If you have had sex outside of marriage and you are feeling guilty about it, take heart. There is still hope. You do not have to continue down the path you have chosen. God is standing next to you with open arms. He wants to forgive you and he wants to have you back. Do not hesitate to turn to Him no matter how many times you have fallen. His grace will always be sufficient.
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