Teen Parents
Not all people are the same.
Obviously.
And so not all teen parents are the same. This
is an important thing to understand. Unfortunately, being a teenage
parent generally puts you into a very popular but generally wrong
stereotype. People expect certain attitudes and actions from you. They
envision a particular type of history and home environment. They also
tend to assume or imagine that you view your children as some sort of
interactive doll. You know, as if parenting a child required roughly the
same attention and thought as it takes to own a puppy.
There are teen parents who fit the stereotype,
yes. But there are also many who do not. That's what I want to prove
here. If you are a teen parent who breaks the mold and if you want to
share your experiences to help others, email
me your story or home page and I will list it here.
If you haven't experienced discrimination, it is
probably hard to understand. Being a teen mom affects how people see you
and how they relate to you. It almost seems to brand you in some
people's eyes the way skin color or lifestyle would. None of those
things should be used as a basis to judge other people.
When I was in the hospital to give birth to my
oldest child, I was having a difficult time relaxing so they decided to
give me a morphine based sedative so that I would sleep. They asked me
if I had ever done recreational drugs and I hadn't and told them so. I
got the usual "oh-yeah-sure-you-haven't" look until my
reaction to the drug proved I was telling the truth. The nurse was
shocked. "You really haven't done drugs!" Um, duh?
It's time that people realized that we are not
"babies having babies". Everyone makes mistakes that affect
other people. We just made a more visible one. The point isn't the
mistakes you've made or which particular failings you are prone to. The
point is to do the best you can from where you're at right now.
I urge everyone who is in the position of
parenting to become educated. Talk to people. Read parenting books.
Observe children and their parents. Learn, grow and become empowered to
be the best parent you can be. Do not let anyone look down on you
because you are young. You are stronger than you think. Experience is
the difference between knowledge and wisdom and that is something you
will be gaining by leaps and bounds if you just stay open to yourself
and the world around you. And when you get those looks - and trust me,
you will - ignore them. Or better yet, help refute them.