i stand- almost erect the weight on my shoulders- my own i put it there, alone- vast space on either side whiteness, blankness, emptiness. shivering and cold drenched- soaking from the reign of humiliation frigid due to storms of past present and future confused and lost with closed eyes trying to find my way through my own darkness without complicating outside matters witout concerning the whiteness disrupting the chaos self contained and self proclaimed denial of want- heart open, but caged unconsciously- no key lost- depths of sea- deep blue- maybe vast perhaps empty waiting-approachment rescue-anything that i can't scare away. . .