CHILDREN OF
ALCOHOLIC'S
(COA)

What’s important about Children of Alcoholics?

Children of alcoholics (COAs):
are at high risk for alcohol and other drug 
problems often live with pervasive tension and
distress:
have higher levels of anxiety and
depression
do poorly in school,
experience problems with coping
The good news is that they can be helped to
bounce back from the effects of their families’ 
problems.

When family members (parents, grandparents,
aunts/uncles), guardians, or other adults in 
charge of children are alcoholics, there is
strong evidence that children in these 
families are more likely to develop the 
disease of alcoholism as well.

The fact is, alcoholism tends to run in 
families.

What causes COAs to have increased risk?

Children of alcoholics may or may not be
 raised by alcoholics. Either way, every COA
is at risk for alcoholism or alcoholism-related
problems.

Children living with alcoholics
Children who live with alcoholics are at
increased risk because of genetic and/or 
environmental factors.
They may be at more risk for alcoholism just 
as children of diabetics are at higher risk 
for diabetes.
Children living with alcoholics often develop
unhealthy living patterns. They may not learn
how to trust themselves or others, how to
handle uncomfortable feelings, or how to build
positive relationships. 
COAs who lack these skills are also at higher
risk for school failure, depression,increased 
anxiety, as well as trouble with alcohol and 
other drugs.

Adopted and foster children

Even COAs adopted by non-alcoholics
(or do not live with their alcoholic parents
for other reasons), may have a genetic
predisposition to alcoholism, just as
children born to parents with a history
of heart disease are more at risk for heart 
disease.

Alcoholism can skip a generation. Some
COAs never drink, but may pass on a genetic
vulnerability and/or unhealthy living pattern
to their own children.

COAs do not have to develop problems -- You can help!

Genes can’t be replaced. But unhealthy living
patterns can be countered by the consistent
caring of others. COAs can learn to trust,
handle their feelings in healthy ways, and
build positive, nurturing relationships. Anyone
can help COAs understand their risks and learn
better social and coping skills.

How many COAs are there?
How many become alcoholics?

There were an estimated 28.6 million COAs
in the U.S. in 1991, nearly 11 million of them
under age 18. Of the under-18 group, almost 3
million will develop alcoholism, other drug
problems, and/or other serious coping problems.
About half of COAs marry alcoholics and are
likely to recreate the same kinds of highly stressful
and unhealthy families in which they grew up,
unless supportive interventions are provided
to them in their formative years.

What about the other COAs?

Based on stories from adult COAs in professional
treatment and self- help programs, it appears all
children are affected by family alcoholism.
But, going back to the good news, many
of them make positive adjustments to their
families’ alcoholism. Even COAs in high- risk
environments with other chronic sources of stress --
including poverty, racism, disrupted marriages,
serious emotional problems, and histories of
abuse and neglect -- are often able to overcome
these painful beginnings and create healthy,
fulfilling lives for themselves.

How can COAs be helped to "bounce back?"

The child in an alcoholic home may be helped
whether the alcoholic stops drinking or not!
It is not necessary to do anything to change
the adult’s drinking behavior. And helping a
COA does not require special training or skills.

Simple acts of kindness and compassion can
make a big difference in the lives of COAs.
Just by "being there," to lend an ear, share
normal interests and activities, talk about 
feelings, accept their mistakes, and support 
nd encourage their friend-making efforts,
YOU will be helping.

What else helps COAs?

Tell them that they did not cause alcoholism
and cannot cure or control it. But they can learn to
cope with it. Make clear that children are not
responsible for solving grown-up problems.

Understand that COAs often build up defenses
against the pain, shame, guilt, or loneliness
they may feel. They may show off, act tough,
keep secrets, or hide. You may help by just
accepting them for who they are.
Encouraging them to share their thoughts and
feelings will help them learn to trust others and
accept and adjust to their lives.

Get them involved in something about which
they feel good. It can be something small
like taking care of a pet; or a hobby such as
collecting rocks, or stamps, or comic books;
or a sport. Go slow, don’t push, but keep trying.

Do something with them on a regular basis,
even if it’s only twice a year, such as on the
4th of July or Martin Luther King’s birthday.
Providing some consistency and showing
that adults can be counted on are important
assurances for young people who may have
experienced many broken promises and
unpredictable parental behavior.

Gently help them get positive attention from
others. Let them know they are wonderful,
special, and cared about just because they
are who they are. Again, go slowly, but tell them often.

Help them see life as really living even
though there are times and situations
that may be very painful. Help them see
beyond their present circumstances.
Help them feel connected to nature, art,
and history; to heritage, culture, religion;
to their community. Help them build a larger
picture of their lives and their world than
their families’ current problems.

Help them understand that it is okay to ask
for help. Assure them that getting help is
a sign of strength. Offer some examples
from your own life so they’ll know how it’s
done and that it really is okay.

More things to DO:
Just for Kids Section (NACoA) Remember,
it is important not to label or stigmatize COAs
or their families. If children identify themselves
as COAs, be prepared to refer them to school
counselors or professional therapists for
additional support.

Follow through if a child asks for help, because it
probably required a lot of courage for her/him to
do so. Know the local number for Alateen and
other sources of help you can offer as needed.
Let them know they aren’t alone; there are
approximately 11 million COAs under the
age of 18. Collect information about alcoholism
to discuss with the child when it’s comfortable
for both of you to do so. Be aware and respectful
of cultural differences, such as family structure,
customs, values, and beliefs. Be aware that some
COAs may have been mistreated and may be
threatened by displays of affection, especially
physical contact. Help them make discoveries,
positive connections; instill enthusiasm for life
and all its many possibilities.

AND, when talking with anyone under 21
about alcohol and other drugs, urge them 
to "Be Smart! Don’t Start!"--




Alcohol Index Page



Defination & Myths



COA


 Children of Alcoholics* must reading



The Twelve Seps

 Children of Alcoholics* must reading




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