This society has been created to
give support and compassion to women who feel they have experienced trauma and abuse
at the hands of professionals during the birth of their child or children.
Feelings of intense grief after a difficult birth, or a birth that was not what was expected is more common than it is realized.
The medical profession, the way it is set up today, is not spiritual, compassionate
nor patient in the natural and miraculous World of childbirth. A
variety of procedures and tests are performed on women in labour that are
not necessary and very intrusive. What is often forgotten is the person,
the woman, in labour and giving birth. Each woman is unique and each
woman has feelings and ideas of her own experience. It is not common
enough knowledge that a sensitive woman placing herself in a hospital environment
while giving birth is prone to feelings of invasion, humility and eventually
absolute terror.
Birth is a Natural event...and hospitals
are not a happy, safe and natural place to be for most women. One
must keep in mind that there are women who feel most safe in a hospital
environment..and that is their choice. It is the upmost importance to maintain a balance and remember that a choice is what is important. Many women don't realize that they have a choice and this society has been
created for the women, like myself, who unknowingly placed themselves in
an environment that in it's complexity, completely destroyed any sense
of self and sense of of the power in labour and birth...this debilitating
environment can, and has been for many women, the hospital environment.
There are many horror stories and
there are many success stories and life saving stories. But this
is a place where the new mother can share her feelings of pain and anguish
over her birth without being told " well you should just be happy you had
a healthy baby!" These feelings are real and these feelings should
be validated and more often than not they are pushed far away under
the rug by the mop of shame.
If you feel any regret, pain, feelings
of humiliation, visions of moments in birth that you cringe to remember
but can't seem to forget...then you are in the right place. Birth
is a beautiful time, a miraculous event and a life changing passage into
womanhood for most women. But it must be remembered that each woman
is different. And the professional world has no time to assess each
individual need, and if you are a sensitive person this is bound to hurt
you somewhere along the line. Pelvic exams, fetal monitors, induction,(
they induce with pig semen, another unknown fact) rupturing of membranes,
cesareans, forceps,i.v's, drugs, rules for acceptable labour time, numerous
personnel watching and probing, harried nurses who get impatient with individual
requests are all part of the common hospital. Of course there are
exceptions, there are the caring and patient hospital staff...but this
authors experience both lived and learned has the majority voting on the
more common...the invasive.
So let us step away from the common
knowledge, the safe and happy belief that having a healthy baby is all
that is important. let us be courageous and bold and honest and step into the closets of the woman's mind
who has suffered nothing less than rape during the birth of her child.
THis is a scary place because it is not nice and it destroys any faith
one may have in the medical profession. But it is a good thing....it
is wonderful therapy to acknowledge and accept these horrible feelings
that will not go away. It is natural and very beneficial to question
and eventually discard common beliefs and age old structure that no longer
serve as helpful or guiding. Especially when an individual has realized
her own wants and needs separate from the masses ideas of what she should
want and need. And remember this again is the most important aspect...choice...the freedom to make an educated choice.
It must be challenged that most
hospital procedures are very unnessesary, and if one does their research they will
learn a disturbing fact that more infant deaths happen in the hospital
than in home births in all levels of risk, this means low risk and high risk, hospitals have a higher infant mortality rate. This is documented.As John Robbins writes in
Reclaiming Our Health (1996):
"[Western civilization’s] historical decline in maternal and infant
mortality (death) and morbidity (injury and illness) has not been due to
obstetrical medical interventions. Rather, these gains have been due to
the development of antibiotics, the addition of vitamin D to milk (thus
preventing rickets), advances in public health, sanitation, and nutrition,
improvement in women's working conditions, and other measures that
improved maternal health prior to birth. The medical literature is full of
studies which reveal that the practices that lie at the heart of modern
obstetrics, when used as a matter of course, do not save lives. In fact,
study after study shows that they actually lead to higher death rates for
both mothers and babies ."
You must do your own research discover yourself how overwhelming the ACTUAL statistics are. Millions of women give birth everyday without
assistance of any kind....it is the natural way. What did women do
before medicine was founded? We must have been ok otherwise we would
not be suffering from overpopulation as we are today.. *grin*Essentially the
safeguards that are there to protect you in a hospital ultimately cause the problems that
they are there to safeguard against. IN the Spring 1997 issue of Mothering,"The Epidural Express: Real Reasons Not to Jump On Board" Nancy Griffin writes :
"Our biology provides us with
powerful instincts during birth. The first is the need to feel safe and
protected. All mammals will instinctively seek out a dark, secluded, quiet,
and, most of all, safe place in which to give birth. While birthing,
mammals give the appearance of sleep and closed eyes to fool would-be
predators, and they breathe normally. Some (those who don't perspire)
will pant in order to cool down, but humans will most easily achieve a
relaxed state through closed eyes and abdominal breathing. This
relaxation slows down the birthing mother's brain waves into what is
called an alpha state, a state in which it is virtually impossible to release
adrenaline, the "fight-flight" hormone. Physical comfort becomes
critical, along with the need to have a "nest" ready for the baby. Hospital
environments often unintentionally disrupt the birthing atmosphere by
introducing bright lights, lots of people, noise, and fear-inducing exams
and machines."
I must add here, again, that there are some cases where a hospital is necessary for the life and well being of mother and child, but this society focuses on the women who didn't need the intervention and suffered it anyway and now carry grief because of it. What is most important is the dispelling of the inaccurate and very dangerous myth that hospitals actually help save lives in all levels of risk.
You should not be afraid of the
word rape in this issue. Rape is defined as.." the forcible and unlawful
carnal knowledge of a woman against her will". It may not be unlawful
but it should be unlawful to do a pelvic exam on a woman in labour many
times when it is not necessary and can actually cause infection.
And as it was in my case I had a student doctor try to do an exam, and
this was after I requested no students, she couldn't 'reach' she said so
the doctor watching her said " well I have really long fingers, watch out
for me"...as her inserted his finger in me for an exam..as I am in contractions.
This is not what I wanted and I felt shame and humiliation... I felt rape.
THe only thing that protects these professionals is the idea that they
know much more about that woman than she does. Hogwash, I am sorry but
I am very anti-establishment and I believe it all started with control
and it is still about that to this day. A woman in labour is the
ONLY person who knows what is right and what is not right at that time.
Hospitals will not allow you to think for yourself...it is not the institutional
way. So if what happened to me in anyway offended you...be prepared
there are many other much more horrifying stories by women who felt abused
and mistreated when they should have been idolized and deemed sacred.
THis is what this page is all about.
Here I hope to build a sanctuary
for those of you who share these feelings, and need to let them out and
fully accept and acknowledge that they are there. Because believe
me I know...as you look into your beautiful babies glowing eyes you may
forget at times...but it will always come back...it will haunt you until
it is answered..please walk these dark hallways with me and allow yourself
to be who you are and be what you feel. THis page may seem dark and forboding, but keep in mind it is only the subject that is hard to deal with, not the healing. The healing is wonderous and liberating. If you have the courage to first walk the dark hallways of questions and uncertainty then you will more than benefit from the knowledge and the power associated with learning and healing. The members of this group are particularily focused on healing and sharing information. You will find this will be a warm, happy and safe place to be. Everyone is welcome, we won't shut the doors on you if you had a hospital birth and are glad you did. This Society beleives in the right of personal choice, and that choice is different for everyone. There has been alot of false information regarding the necessity of hospitals in birth for many years, and it is necessary to challenge and question these beliefs. But this in no way means we are not open to those who feel differently. If you feel you need support and you have feelings of grief and need a way to express them....please come on in...you are more than welcome and very very needed for your own personal wisdom and insight.
I
want to share your experience and hear your grief, there is a way out,
there is a door to happiness and freedom. I believe we can find that
together. Please e-mail me and send me your story, or just share
how you feel after reading this. I can put you in contact with other
women who feel the same way and we can all support each other as we work
through this. I will post all birth stories I receive unless you
wish it to be private. If there is anything you would like to see
on this page, please don't hesitate to tell me. This page belongs
to all of us...so i you feel it can be better please let me know.
A reccomended web site, written by a wonderfully in tune and incredibly accurate and instinctual man, Jock DoubledayNatural Woman Natural Man Inc.
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