I always get the feeling that once they say the phrase "You have such a pretty face..." they would like to follow it up with it is such a shame it is attached to your body. I am now about to turn 30 and have been fat from the time I hit my teens. I had an experience just the other day while I was out Christmas Shopping that I would like to share and my reaction.

I was walking through a shopping centre and a woman (and I use this term reluctantly) and her partner were walking in across my path, she waited until I was out of her line of sight, and not being intelligent enough to work out that even though she could no longer see me, they were in fact in front of me and I could see her. She was literally about to pull her boyfriend's arm out of it's socket (subtlety not being on of her strong points obviously ) to get his attention so that he would not miss the moving sideshow - ME.. He has turned to gawk and of course been caught in the act. The power of the death stare is one that I can recommend as a tactic of self defense in these situations. Getting eye contact with both of them, they of course looked away and the boyfriend started pointing at a shop and saying very loudly "Oh yeah look at that painting in the window..."

So to add insult to injury they assume that I am not only very fat but very dumb. Not likely sunshine. After 2 more attempts at trying to have another look, and being caught both times they finally moved on. I was almost tempted to confront them but that little voice inside started to say remember " Karma, what goes around, comes around ".

So to all of you how have had to endure these mindless little blights on the face of humanity, I say, be proud and they can't touch you. You actually have the advantage over them, be proud that what ever you have done and what ever you have achieved you have worked for it, the friends that you have around you have been able to see past your size and find in you a friend. They have taken the time to look inside and get to know you.

Too often enough I have to remind myself of this, when I have been subjected to this kind of behaviour. In some ways however I actually see is as an advantage that I have had my "little weight problem" as my mother keeps calling it and the reasons are many. I have a not been able to sail through life relying on superficial artifice, I have had to develop a personality, a sense of humor and rely on my intelligence, rather than batting my eyelashes.

When put in this perspective, I think we can all agree that we have all had to do the same. Therefore we are people, and dare I say it, of substance, not a cardboard cut out as some people seem to be. We have hearts and minds and these unfortunately judgmental creatures should not be able to hurt us, they are not worth the anguish or our time. The people however who chose to be in your life are the people who matter.

Rather that focus on your size, focus on our life, what you have achieved and what you have accomplished, no matter how big or small those accomplishments may seem to be. Accept that there are people who will pass judgment upon you, you have very little control over how they think. You do have control over how you let their behaviour effect you. If you believe that you are worth nothing than you will be.
However, if you believe in yourself the world will change for you.

I have been a make-up artist for about 10 years, I am having a break from it now but during that time I learnt some very valuable lessons. I always have pride in my appearance, if you take pride in yourself other people will respond to you in a way that will change your life, if you display confidence and self- confidence people will treat you accordingly and slowly but surely you can change peoples perceptions. Sure I have days when I wake up and don't like what I see in the mirror, but no one else has to know that.

Keep your chin up (all of them) and look them straight in the eye. Remember to laugh often, even at yourself sometimes, the people that matter, let them in, let them love you, and those that do not matter or are not as accepting, let them be of no importance to you.

 

Miss C A T

You write Miss Cat at:
catb70@hotmail.com

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