wednesday, may 5
I actually didn't intend to not write for over a week, and I certainly didn't expect the last entry of april lingering to be what it was. I was having a really bad day, you know.. One of those bad days where you don't have any actual bad events to blame it on but still feel like you're under water and surrounded by sea weed.
So. In a few short sentences to update you what I've been doing that imposed this sudden silence onto this diary.
Thursday I stayed home to spend the day with Angela for the last time before I leave. It was a lot of fun, but all too brief. She showed me an amazing movie called Clean Shaven
Friday I left early to hang out with Gene "for the last time before I leave". I bought Ani's "Living in Clip" and we ate at some italian restaurant.
Saturday I hung out a bit with Gene again. (I begged him the night before not to go home early so I wouldn't have to be bored all day, so he stayed till 9 pm). Charlotte dropped by and talked for a bit, gave me one of her Jeff Buckley small posters and lent me the movies Mercy, and Clownhouse, both Sam Rockwell movies, the first real good, the latter.. well, a clown horror movie.
Sunday I have very little recollection of. Charlotte dropped by again to pick her movies up, and later I walked all the way to Harris Teeter to pick up food "for the last time before I leave." - I found this great 'new' (to me) brand called Celantano or something similar. They make vegetarian italian frozen food, it seems, and what I really loved was that they put little pictures of all the ingredients on the box so you can immediately spot if there's any meat or not in it. Yum. I totally recommend their broccoli pasta whatever thing. And Aziza's sister Sarah made cookies.
Monday I get to school early and work some hours, then go take my first final which didn't go brilliantly but at least went 'ok'. Online a girl supposed to come visit my room mate said she ahdn't heard from Aziza and didn't know whether to come or not. I said she should because if nothing else I'd be home. I get home and there's no one home.
Eventually Aziza shows up with her aunt. It turns out Sarah had had a *really* really bad asthma attack during the day and had to be rushed to the hospital where Aziza was/was going back to. A few hours after she leaves, her friend shows up.. I redirect her to the hospital, and later she comes back to stay the night.
In the middle of the night I hear a knock on my door - it's the girl (well, woman, really), fully dressed and ready to go. She was very shaken up and just said she felt she really needed to go home, so after talking to her a while she was on her way.
Tuesday I got up early to get as many hours in working as possible (I can certainly use the money) - I did nothing all day (except have some nice convo's with people I don't talk to often on ICQ [I'm not giving out number because I lose ICQ when I leave]). Oh well actually, I did make this background that is an enormous file that you undoubtedly hate me for, but I really wanted to make it.
As I was going home, my bus from Durham to Chapel Hill broke down. *broke down* Hence I missed my last bus and had to walk for 50 minutes. I tried a different route than the usual one - I decided I could do without the anxiety attacks I get when walking in desolate areas and took the really populated inside city route. It was quite pleasant actually (though I felt very self conscious about my white, white legs that were showing because I wore my knee length black skirt. 5 hispanic men screaming appreciately out of a van didn't help much, but at least they weren't yelling insults.)
When I got home (stopped by Harris Teeter and bought prepackaged Caesar salad and the latest Entertainment Weekly) I called Aziza to tell her about her friend (she'd been very worried and I felt bad that I hadn't written the hospital number down and called her from my school to explain what had happened) and get updates on Sarah. She wasn't doing too well, and's sedated, and probably will be for several more days.
Watched Felicity and sent Sarah good thoughts.
Wednesday I was woken up by Aziza calling. It seemed things were still bad, but looking ever so slightly better. She sent an aunt over to pick up some clothes and things for her. I went to work. Studied for a final. Felt confident. Go to take the final. Bomb. No, I'm not exaggerating. The final consisted of one single essay question to answer in two hours. "Using all we have studied this semester, write an essay on "What it feels like to be a problem in America."" - I tried to write something 4 times, wasting an hour. Eventually I went up and talked to my professor, explaining that I had no idea what or how to write. She encouraged me to try again. I did. It stank. I will get an F. *sigh*
And now I'm leaving.
I'm hoping to get at least one more entry before I LEAVE AMERICA on saturday. I'm gunna land in England early Sunday morning, and after spending sunday and most of monday with my friend Dylan in and outside London, I will leave from Heathrow at 6 pm on monday and reach Sweden around 10 pm.
And that was that. 4 more finals to do. Heh.
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