different


i don't know if it's a part of girlhood in other countries, maybe it is, but here in sweden we have this thing where little girls can never seem to go to the bathroom alone, but rather has to drag a friend along. except i never did that, it was never an unspoken rule that if another girl raised her hand to get permission to go to the bathroom, i too would be excused and together we'd go to the bathroom and so i can't vouch for whatever went on in there but i guess one girl actually peed and the other girl or two or even three girls just.. waited and they giggled and gossiped?

that's such a strange concept and i don't know if that means i was less of a girl or something but i never went to the bathroom with anybody. i did raise my hand and ask to go to the bathroom on my own whenever i was in class and i could tell the teacher was about to start asking his questions about what he'd just talked about because i can't answer questions in class, i would rather die and my face turns bright red and my voice gets real quiet and i usually just say "i don't know." and hope that the teacher will move on and i could kill the one's who don't move on but has to rub it in my face "of course you know - think about it" and my brain is smoother than a marble table and i really don't know and i just shake my head and say "no really i don't know" and i always get this sigh and look like i just pissed myself and the urine is trickling down my leg onto the floor and i still do this and i'm about to be 22, although now i rarely go to the bathroom during class because i don't want to raise my hand and speak at all.

wimpy bitch i am, i am.




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