when i buy english texbooks i end up looking through them and getting excited about the things i can now read in them, and then find we don't even brush on a tenth of the material in class, and that frustrates me. we've spent almost two months on odysseus and i don't feel like we've gotten anywhere - how are we supposed to survey world literature when we spend almost 2 months on -one- thing at the beginning of the book? i've grown so bored i spent the past two class hours reading elsewhere in the book - i read most of oidipus, and the snippets of a thousand and one nights. -in class-. and i'm -glad- i won't have to do a paper on either of them. i just read it for fun.

also, more than once i have found myself thinking "you know, once school is over it'll be so much fun to go through these books and read all these things we never read in class - i can't wait!"

some teachers do go through things well, and i'm still bored. what also frightens me is that for a very long while i felt like i lost all interest in reading books. reading wasn't -fun- anymore. and then i spent this past weekend stretch reading 'the bean trees' and realised how long it's been since i stayed up almost all night reading something because it grabbed me and because -i wanted- to.

3. all i can think to wanting to work as right now is a video store clerk? i have never been very ambitious, but a video store clerk? i don't know if 4 years worth of maximum school loans is the way to go on my way to become .. a videostoreclerk?

i keep dreaming of things i would like to do one day but won't be able to because i'm in the wrong field and won't have the necessary training. this ranges between a lot of things, but for instance, driving by the rape crisis center almost always launches the thought "i'd like to work at a place like that sometime" in my brain, and knowing that i most likely never will bothers me. same thoughts revolve around womens' shelters/organizations, and other similar places. and i can see myself studying nasties at quantico. really. 8)

4. the only subject i am thrilled to study right now is things for my mass media and pop culture class, and that is mostly because it's a subject i am good at. it is also the only class where i raise my hand and actually -talk-, usually without any fear that i'm going to say something wrong. how dumb is it to love a class because due to your knowledge of horror movies, marilyn manson, serial killer knowledge, talkshows, abnormal psychology and elvis presley puts you at the top of the class?

also, the class intrigues me because we get to discuss society and mass media's influence on us, which brings us into psychology... etc. if that is the only thing that entertain me in school, then why aren't i studying that? you know?...

5. so many things make me curious and excited, yet i don't do much of it in school - i've always had a lot of interest in psychology and loved the very brief psych. class we took in high school so much i took it again even though i made an a the first time. i enjoy reading literature and -textbooks- that would fall into crimonology, women's studies, abnormal (not always) psychology, gender issues etc. i mean -enjoy-. they are subjects where i feel i learn something that makes me think and want to contribute my thoughts on.