Congressional and Cabinet Debate in Retrospect

There were the more serious members of Congress who questioned the entire concept. They believed this was just another tax, one that would reduce the spending potential of the populace-known to economists as the "disposable income." We should pause a moment to reflect upon this term. Not what one would call a "dirty" phrase, though it did conjure up images of diapers, but at the same time, in a subtle way, it showed the economists' disregard for a man's earnings. Somehow, in the recent decades, the idea had grown that money earned should be disposed of. Where was the old concept of thrift? Gone to hell with the inflation!

But, to continue, the prudent and logical congressmen were perturbed at the excitement that this new idea was generating. The fools, meaning the people, would be caught again. Could they not see that this was just another device to separate them from their hard-earned income? That, of course, was the logical way to look at things; it bore no resemblance to the truth that was soon to emerge. The productive power of the American people was disregarded. As we shall see later, a new national consensus was going to be reached-in the bedroom. What LBJ couldn't achieve on a foreign battlefield would emerge between the sheets. With this consensus the economic and creative potential of the country would suddenly be released. The hang-ups, the dissension and disarray would dissolve in a sexual euphoria. But how could a simple congressman anticipate this?

There wasn't any real basis for opposing the Sex Tax, so the bill was never in any danger from either conservative or liberal, though one might have supposed there was the danger that the Sex Tax would be talked to death. Again, as the fates would have it, the bill got home free most unexpectedly.

There was, of course, a group in Congress that had abnormal sexual appetites. This group was augmented by those of bizarre urges, including "Flasher Finerty," as he was known to his "boiler room" staff of girls. As the time neared for the floor debate, these congressmen were preparing their grand speeches. The anticipation of the publicity from such a cherished subject titillated them.

What might have been a disgusting era in congressional history, a debate marked by crudity and licentiousness, was deftly averted by an observant congressman. Finerty had gained the floor and was preparing to address the House. Suddenly the Speaker of the House heard a cry of "Point of information!" Since Finerty had not yet launched out upon his thesis, the Speaker recognized the back-bench congressman. Representative Bagatelle rose and addressed his query to Representative Finerty.

"Does my esteemed colleague have his fly unzipped to make a point in this debate?" Finerty blanched. He realized that, if he spoke, he would be revealing too much, more than would be revealed by a momentary lapse on the way back from the rest room. Could it be that this obscure congressman had knowledge embarrassing to Finerty? With a single motion be rectified the haberdashery error and slumped in his seat. Neither he nor any others of the aberrant group would participate in the debate. Debate would proceed in a dignified and orderly manner. The Sex Tax bill was a serious matter. Its debate would not be marked by crudity and witless pornography; there would be dignity in the House debate,

This incident did not mean that there would be no debate and no humor, but it did mean that only polished and deft pornography was to be the fare. It has often been said that Congress is a cross section of the American people, and so it is. But the dignity of the assemblage and historic tradition prevented a debauch by a minority of sexual deviates. The honor of the House would be preserved; only medical and scientific terms would be used. After all, the Congressional Record would go to many schools and libraries, and who would want to shock Marion, the librarian? Three-letter words like sex and tax were infinitely preferable to four-letter words, even if the Supreme Court approved four letters. The House would not lower itself to the level of dirty old men.

The importance of this action should not be lost or viewed lightly by the reader. Clothed in the dignity of the House of Representatives, even the public debate took on a restrained tone, and it was just this restraint that ensured public acceptance. The subject could be discussed in women's clubs, in public on TV. And discussed it was; practically nothing else was.

This restraint, of course, did not extend everywhere. Comedians picked up all aspects of the debate and generated an outpouring of jokes at all levels. Some superb Polish jokes were forthcoming but fell second to the output of the Israeli lobby, which lampooned the Arab harem unmercifully. Congressmen of Arab descent glowered but were satisfied with the bill, for they paid only a single tax for their whole harem.

As debate was recessed from time to time to allow for congressional junkets, various public figures gained the people's attention. The other end of Pennsylvania Avenue was no longer oblivious to the attention focused on Congress. The cabinet met in extraordinary session to consider the executive role.

Being in camera rather than on camera, the cabinet sessions were rather more raucous than the recorded debates of Congress. The Postmaster General suggested that perhaps his department could undertake prosecution of wives who faked orgasm under the statutes involving male fraud. The Secretary of the Interior made comments too indecent to be recorded here. The Secretary of Commerce took issue with the Treasury as to who would collect the service (bordello) tax. The Bureau of Standards, under Commerce, with Masters and Johnson . . . now Masters, consulting would undertake frequency studies to advise setting tax rates at "all the traffic will bear."

The frequency standards section of the FCC would undertake a broad assignment. The FCC, in concert with the Bureau of Standards, would undertake a massive computer program to match up all of America's singles to increase the tax base. It was computed that, if all singles were matched up and became taxpayers, the budget would be balanced for the first time in years. To this the President gave hearty assent. He had several relatives he would have liked to match up. The Bureau of Mines would study the tunnel of love problems.

It is perhaps shameful to think that such highly placed men of government would waste time with such humor, but the real tragedy was that none of these men even suspected the social revolution that was soon to take place. The channels of communication to the American people were soon to be filled with only one subject--sex.

If one, in retrospect, wonders how the entire consciousness of a nation could be focused on sex in such short order, one needs only to look back at the Lindbergh phenomenon. Within a day the entire consciousness of a nation was captured, and with a subject in which the average individual couldn't participate-flying. Sex was a unifying force that all, or almost all, shared. No wonder the idea took hold.